An Engagement Story

Taylor and I met online, but not on a dating app. We connected on Twitter a few years ago (I don’t know exactly when) through Memphis Grizzlies and Tigers Twitter, which is a fairly small community. He lived in Atlanta at the time. We had little exchanges now and then, and I kind of noticed him, but he lived in Atlanta, so I never thought anything about it. In January 2017, he moved back to Memphis. That spring, I went to Jacksonville to visit my friend/frequent travel partner Bethany, who has gamely taken pictures of me holding up growl towels all over the world. When I posted a picture of me on the beach with a growl towel, Taylor responded with a gif of someone waving enthusiastically. A few weeks later, he messaged me, which quickly progressed to texting. He still teases me about how fast I suggested a meeting the first weekend we were talking (I think I invited him to Loflin Yard with my friends). But by that point I’d had several online flirtations that never translated to the real world, and I wasn’t interested in another one.

We met in person at Slider Inn on April 25, 2017 (the perfect date!). I grabbed the last open table on the patio right as he walked up. We had a lot to talk about right away. Among many other things, both of us are band geeks. He mentioned his brother had marched Cavaliers during their championship run in the early 2000s. I told him I still had a VHS tape of those performances that I had taped live off of PBS. A week or so later, we had our first date downtown: dinner at Café Pontotoc, drinks at the Absinthe Room on Beale Street. On May 15, we agreed we both wanted to date exclusively. He invited me to his Memorial Day family vacation, and saying yes to that was one of the craziest good decisions I’ve made. After a weekend of long talks by the lake and witnessing the way he took care of his family and handled challenging situations, I was smitten.  Things have only gotten better from there.

We’ve already been through some big life changes together – adjusting to new jobs in new fields, him buying and remodeling his first home. By the time he moved into his house last July, we were talking about the future in longer terms. I was starting to field questions about our status, but I wasn’t in a hurry and didn’t want Taylor to feel any pressure either. However, when the subject came up, I did tell him I wasn’t comfortable moving in together without more of a commitment. He said okay. Throughout the fall, we had a lot of important conversations, but we didn’t talk directly about that again.

I did not expect to be proposed to on Christmas Day. While I felt like it was possible because Taylor loves the holidays, I thought it was more likely to happen on New Year’s Eve, or on a planned NYC trip in February. I spent Christmas morning with my parents, then went to Taylor’s parents’. When a suspiciously sized gift from him turned out to be a Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker I’d been reminiscing about, I thought This is officially not happening today, and put the possibility out of my mind. Later, we each went home to get ready for a fancy Christmas dinner with my parents – we had a 5:00 reservation at Ruth Chris. Taylor asked me to come over around 4.

When I arrived, he suggested we sit on the porch (our favorite place) for a few minutes, since it wasn’t very cold. I was wearing a black dress and sparkly heels, and he was wearing a blue suit. After a few minutes of chitchat, he commented that we should start figuring out a timeline for me to move in. I thought, Oh jeez, am I going to have this conversation again? On Christmas? I didn’t say anything. He continued, “But we need more of a commitment for that, right?” I said yes, kissed him, and thought the topic was closed. Instead, he said, “Well, will you marry me?” In shock, I nodded and cried silently for several minutes, had to be reminded that there was also a ring to look at, accepted said ring, and finally gave him a verbal yes. It was a different kind of moment than I had imagined, but it was perfect for us.

We basked in our happiness for a few minutes, then needed to leave for dinner. On the way, I quickly decided I did not want to tell my parents this life-changing news in a hectic restaurant atrium with lots of people buzzing around. So I texted my dad and asked him to meet us outside. When we arrived, we walked up to them, I held up my hand, and my mom and I began the first of several hugging-and-crying sessions. Because Taylor had talked to him, my dad knew it was coming, but not exactly when, so he got to be surprised too. I’m really thankful we got to have that special celebratory dinner alone with my parents before anyone else knew.

After dinner, we drove around for a couple of hours looking at Christmas lights, and burning up our phones telling loved ones our news. We had advance tickets to a late movie out in Collierville (long story) and had thought earlier that day about not going, but then we were so amped up we figured we might as well. A couple of friends missed my initial call and had to call me back, which is how I ended up telling my college BFF Kathy about my engagement in the bathroom at the Malco. LOL.

My siblings and nieces arrived in town on Thursday for post-Christmas festivities, and everyone was happy and excited! My sister and SIL decided we MUST go wedding dress shopping immediately while we were all together. I hadn’t even fully processed the news yet and felt embarrassed to look at dresses so soon, but agreed to go, figuring we would just have a fun time. Which is how I ended up with a wedding dress I love about 72 hours after I got engaged. I think I recommend this getting of a dress before you even have time to stress about it. Two weeks later, thanks to a lot of teamwork (both with Taylor, and with my family), we’ve already booked a date, a venue, and a photographer!

When I was younger, I thought true love (and marriage) were supposed to be really intense and dramatic and difficult. I might not have fully appreciated Taylor and the ease of our relationship if I’d met him sooner. From day one, this has been the best, healthiest, first true partnership I have ever been in. Not perfect, because that doesn’t exist. But I’ve always felt safe and stable with him, something I used to doubt was possible. He loves and accepts me, believes in me, is patient with me, sees me as an equal, and has never let me down or made me feel like anything about me isn’t good enough. He is sensitive of my fears and emotional scars. He’s a problem solver. He takes care of me and makes me laugh. He encourages me to dream big. We’re a good fit, and he’s a good man, and I feel so lucky that he wants to build a life with me.