Birthday Reflections

It’s my birthday! Partly inspired by my writing class, I wanted to write a post about “What I Know” at 34. But I came up pretty blank. Lately I feel like I don’t really know anything.

It was easier to think of things that I’m genuinely grateful for today. I’m thankful for this healthy, strong body that does whatever I ask it to, and for every day I have left before I have to start coloring my hair. I’m glad that although my family isn’t perfect, we enjoy and love each other well, and that my siblings and I keep a strong bond even though we have license plates from three different states. I’m thankful for my oceangoing heritage. I feel joy every time I think of my niece. I love knowing and loving so many different kinds of people. I love that my knowledge and appreciation of my city have grown exponentially in the last few years. I’m grateful to participate in God’s creative process through growing flowers and food. I love that e-readers allow me instant access to any book in the world (even as I continue to support Real Books). I’m thankful to have a working bike and drive the most beautiful car ever. I’m happy to still be in touch with all of my best friends from childhood. I’m thankful that Tiger basketball season starts in 90 days. I’m grateful for my little progress as a writer, even though the path is dark and slow. I love that every night, when I get into my comfy bed with my two wonderful cats, it’s the best moment of the day.

On my birthday, I like to read the Psalm that corresponds with my new age. Well, Psalm 34 is a really good one – a psalm of deliverance, praise, and blessing. God hears and provides refuge. My ESV Study Bible notes this: There is also a “wisdom” section embedded in the thanksgiving, which is appropriate, because it is the “wise” (i.e. those who live out their trust in God) who have occasion to give such thanks.

Christians like to joke about 33 being a big year, but for me it was externally anticlimactic and internally a struggle. But I have a good feeling about 34. Even if my outward life is exactly the same in a year, I just hope I’ll trust God more than I do now. I hope that instead of waiting for “provisions” that might not be intended for me, I’ll see God’s blessing and deliverance more clearly in the life I have, and live out my trust in Him.