Grief

(St. Augustine, Florida, 2008)

Losing someone you love deeply is like being diagnosed with a chronic disease. Along with the sadness, you have the terrible knowledge that you will never be “all better” here on earth. No matter what joys God brings your way (and you hope that He will), that grief will always be there. You will be reminded of it at every holiday, every anniversary, every special occasion when that person should have been with you. Every time you go to Target and remember you don’t need to buy their favorite foods anymore. It’s a gaping hole that may heal with time but will always leave an ugly, unfixable scar. I don’t know yet how to cope with the permanence of it, other than to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and hang on to things like this:

For men are not cast off by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.
– Lamentations 3:31-34