Month in Review: March ’23

First, A Note

Things continue to be rough in Memphis and in America. I am very upset about the school shooting in Nashville, and can’t bear the thought of C being involved in something like that, though I know that even at a preschool he is not safe. It’s been harder than usual to drop him off this week. I signed up for Moms Demand after Uvalde but have yet to make it to a meeting. I’m really going to try to go to the next one, because it is something I can do. I’ve decided I need to pick an area and focus my efforts there. Otherwise, I can’t hold up under the weight of all the tragedy and oppression in this country. There is too much bad happening and too many people who want it to happen.

Locally, we’re still dealing with tons of shooting fatalities, car theft, and general chaos. Taylor and I now both have new cars (more on that later) mostly because we were too nervous owning two of the most-stolen models. I love my city, I am not jittery about crime, I don’t believe more incarceration is the answer, and you will never hear me use the word “thug” (that’s usually a signal for me to tune out anything else that person says). But times are tough and something has to be done. We are nowhere near solving it.

This month was also the third anniversary of the pandemic. It’s junior year of covid and apparently we’re all going to try to move forward like everything is normal, but underneath the normalcy, I know many of us are not really okay. I got choked up at a tweet thread I saw about when the person’s library shut down at the beginning of covid. I have not worked through all those emotions by a long shot.

Anyway, that’s just part of the big picture. My nerves and patience are pretty shot lately and I know I’m not alone. But there are still joys and good things happening. Let’s talk about some of them.

Reading

The Light Pirate by Lily Brooks-Dalton (4 stars) A climate change novel about a girl born during a hurricane, and how things unfold for her and her family in her Florida town.

The Quarantine Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot (3 stars) Always good to check in with Princess Mia.

Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy (5 stars) A fantastic resource that I expect to refer to time and time again. It has powerful insights about parenting and how to relate to people in general. The basic premise – that your child is inherently good and should be treated with grace and empathy – is so antithetical to most of what I’ve been taught about parenting that reading it has been healing for me. I come from the evangelical background of “your child is inherently evil and your job is to squash that evil and always assume the worst.” (Thankfully my own parents didn’t take that tack with us.) Anyway, thank you Dr. Becky for helping us raise a new generation of emotionally secure and well-adjusted people.

The English Teacher by Lily King (4 stars) The titular protagonist of this book is pretty unlikable, so I didn’t super enjoy the actual experience of reading it, but Lily King’s writing is still top notch.

When You Get the Chance by Emma Lord (4 stars) Cute, fun YA about a teen actress in Manhattan being raised by a single dad. When she discovers her dad’s old LiveJournal (this is what made me download the book the moment I heard of it, LJ forever), she realizes she has three possible mothers. A summer of “Millie Mia” ensues.

We All Want Impossible Things by Catherine Newman (4 stars) An emotional slice-of-life novel framed around the main character’s best friend dying of cancer. It’s sad, but there are moments of humor and joy. This is niche, but the whole vibe felt very “adult Anastasia Krupnik” to me? This is somehow my first Catherine Newman and not my last.

Burn Our Bodies Down by Rory Power (3.5 stars) Horror isn’t my thing unless Rory Power (or sometimes Gillian Flynn) is writing it. This latest creepy installment is about a teen girl whose mother has always kept her in the dark about their family. When she gets in touch with her grandmother and runs off to the old family homestead, things get Very Disturbing!!

Listening

A song for your weekend:

Some podcast episodes I really enjoyed this month: Forever 35, Body Liberation with Chrissy King; The Prophetic Imagination Station, Wanna Grab Coffee, Just Between You and Me?; Abby Wambach spills the tea, part 1 and part 2.

Travel

At the beginning of March, Taylor and I went to New York! We were supposed to go last summer for our anniversary, and I was devastated when I couldn’t go due to general family crisis. This make-up trip was everything I could have wanted. My love of NYC is deeper than the fact that this was only my third visit. I am now sure that before I die, I want to live there for 6-12 months and fully experience the city.

First off, the food situation. We hit some high points.

Our hotel room overlooked the Times Square ball! It was a great central location, with a subway entrance right on the corner. (This trip was my first time to take the subway. I am obsessed. Efficient public transportation is one of my greatest thrills.)

We took a two-hour walking tour of Central Park. That only covered half the park!! It was beautiful despite still being winter.

We made a pilgrimage to the Friends apartment!!! (Not pictured: at least 20 people on our side of the street also making their pilgrimage. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live in this building.)

We walked some of the High Line, which was again visually interesting even in winter. I want to see it again when it’s all alive. We walked up and down Fifth Avenue and around Rockefeller Center.

We saw Seinfeld at the Beacon Theater!!!

And we went to the Late Show!! The guests were comedian Nick Kroll and a Congressman from Connecticut. I was mainly there for Stephen. He has helped keep me sane since 2016 (and made me laugh since the late 90s), and I admire him even more after seeing him in person. During a Q&A he quoted an entire passage of Tolkien from memory.

Around Town

Kara and I took our second annual trip to the Dixon with the boys to see the tulips! It was a little early, but some areas were blooming. The boys were not particularly cooperative for pictures.

As I’ve mentioned, I married into Grizzlies season tickets, and one of the perks this month was that my MIL and I got to sit courtside for shootaround and get a few autographs! (This is my MIL’s friend with me and Dillon Brooks.) I brought a mini hoop and got it signed by a few players! If we get to do this again, I’ll be more prepared (and dress better).

I recently reconnected with a college friend (not pictured) and was honored to take her to her first Grizzlies game! She had fun and wants to go again. Success!

At Home

The hyacinths I planted last fall put on a great show! They smelled so good, I had to cut a few to bring inside.

Taylor has been working hard in our yard. Among other things, he built a shed (after our old one was crushed by a tree last summer), cleaned out my greenhouse, and is getting ready to overhaul it with corrugated clear plastic instead of glass. We’ve had so many broken greenhouse panes that they know Taylor at the glass place. This should make life easier.

Eating

NEW STAPLE MEAL: 15-Minute Garlic Butter Chicken with Parmesan Cauliflower Rice. It was unreal. I’ve also made a few of the Trader Joe’s meal ideas from The Hungry Hooker’s instagram (fyi, she’s a local food blogger whose last name is Hooker).

At this point I’m practically a walking commercial for Costco. I recently tried their cauliflower crust supreme pizza, and it was so good I kept forgetting it was a cauliflower crust!

Wearing

I’m obsessed with my new work backpack. I’ve used a Vera Bradley computer bag as my work bag since I started at my company. I also still use my L.L. Bean monogrammed backpack from college as my carry-on when I travel. Taylor decided I needed to move into the 2020s and literally ordered this backpack for me on his phone as we were departing LaGuardia. He meant for it to be my new carry-on, but I immediately claimed it for work and it has improved my quality of life drastically. I had no idea how much that over-the-shoulder bag was annoying me and weighing me down. I feel active happiness walking around with the backpack. It has pockets for everything you need and even its own charging port!

Now that I have a standing desk at the office, I realized it was not optional to upgrade my zero-support work flats. I hesitated on these Skechers loafer sneakers because they’re a little unusual, but so far they’re working with a lot of outfits and feel great! I also discovered a cushioned Rothys knockoff that comes in multiple colors (I’m starting with the black). I’ve always been interested in Rothys and almost got a pair at their Soho store, but I just could not spend $150 on a pair of flats. Maybe I’ll work up to it. Anyway, I think my high heel days are officially over. I spent my 20s and most of my 30s prancing around in 2+ inch stiletto heels and everyone asked how I could stand it. Well, now I can’t. It was a good run.

Beauty

I don’t know why, but a few weeks ago my skin had an epic freakout. I had multiple impossible-to-ignore huge zits in different areas of my face, and the eczema under my eyes got in on the action too. It was very humiliating seeing as I’m 43. I frantically Googled what to do for cystic acne and made an emergency trip to Ulta to pick up the two items on the right – niacinimide serum and azelaic acid. My total was under $20 for these products (thank you, The Ordinary) and THEY WORKED. My skin was mostly back to normal after four or five days of applying morning and night. I’m still alternating them with my other products. Run, do not walk, to try them if you also experience a major skin eruption.

After years of only being able to find my chosen hair gel at Walmart, it has finally disappeared everywhere except Amazon. It’s my policy not to get anything that goes in or on my body from Amazon, so I’m now in the painful process of finding a new go-to. This Twist by Ouidad gel from Target is reasonably priced and pretty much perfect, but guess what? They just discontinued it!!! Memphians, if you see any at your Target, please alert me.

Wellness

One of March’s biggest headlines is that I got a steroid injection in my back!! I could not be happier about it! The MRI I had last month revealed that I have three torn/herniated discs. This was basically my best case scenario – a real and treatable cause of my pain that isn’t a tumor. As I mentioned, I’ve been in pain every day for over two years. I got this nerve block last week and it has been miraculous. I can get up and down to play with my son, I can move without feeling like my back is about to go out, in the evening I can relax and fall asleep without doing a whole pain relief ritual. I am so thankful. Now I’m just nervous about when it might wear off, but my doctor already said we can do a second one if needed. Past that who knows. There’s a chance the steroid might relax the area enough for it to improve. Prayer hands.

Often I’ll hear something on a Peloton ride that sticks with me for a while. I took a Robin ride from several months ago where she talked about “finding your posse” and surrounding yourself with people who will lift you up. This is an increasingly sensitive and emotional topic for me since the pandemic / becoming a mom, but what encouraged me was her emphasis that your circle expands throughout life, and that “you haven’t yet met everyone who’s going to love you.” Thanks Robin. <3

Random Happiness

Another personal March headline is that we got a Cadillac Lyriq EV! It’s the first in Memphis and only the second in Tennessee. Taylor ordered it a year and a half ago. It’s probably the fanciest vehicle I’ve ever seen and I was afraid to drive it at first. I still don’t understand how most of the features work. But it is very, very nice and Taylor is psyched about never getting gas again. This will be primarily his car. I’m still hooked on my new Subaru. We go big or go home, I guess. Both cars are full of special safety features, so I do feel good that Baby C is now riding in Extreme Safety.

In more mundane news, I got a NYC Starbucks You Are Here mug to join the other places of my heart. It makes me happy to see them all together.

Toddler Update

C is getting closer to two every day. My baby is rapidly disappearing and becoming a person!! He’s constantly saying and doing new things. This month we brought out the kid table and chairs we inherited from my BIL’s family. C is enjoying playing blocks there and even doing some coloring.

C is showing interest in the singing at church, so I’ve started keeping him with me for singing and taking him to the nursery after. As soon as he sees the musicians on stage, he points to show me and is excited. He hasn’t sung along at church yet, although at home he can sing part of the ABCs and chime in for choruses of other songs (he knows the “alllllll through the town” part of Wheels on the Bus).

His love of dogs continues. We went to a friend’s house this month who has goats, but C was only interested in her dog. Zero fear even when the dog is twice his size. :)

Almost every day, C gets a hold of my phone and takes pictures of his legs and feet. I don’t know how he got this one so artsy, but this is exactly as he took it. A prodigy!!

Your Monthly Rufus

We’ve been letting Rufus in the backyard with us to enjoy the spring weather. I forgot that this makes him absolutely belligerent because then all he wants is to go outside 24/7. Which we can’t allow, since something would happen to him quickly. But he is having fun chasing squirrels and eating grass for a few minutes at a time. Then he hides from C (who still hasn’t learned to pet him gently) and takes a nice nap.