Month in Review: September 2022

Main Events

September was one of the most intense, emotionally exhausting months in a while. On the Friday before Labor Day, a young mother from my neighborhood, Eliza Fletcher, went missing on her early morning run. The search intensified over the weekend, and on Labor Day, law enforcement found her remains. I didn’t know Liza, but at least half of my friends did. In Memphis you’re never more than one degree separated from anyone. A tragedy like this impacts the whole community. On top of that, all women who run (or used to run) know about getting those miles in the dark, in non-ideal conditions. It could have been any one of us.

The Friday after Liza went missing, there was a 4 am candlelight vigil near where she disappeared on the U of M campus, and an 8-mile loop run. Two of my best friends, Kara and Alanna, came with me to the vigil and then we ran the back half of the loop, back to my neighborhood. I felt like it was important to come together as women and Memphians, to honor Liza and show that we won’t be intimidated.

I’m also aware that this case got national attention primarily because the victim was a wealthy white woman. We need to put this type of energy toward justice for people of all colors, no matter what part of town they come from.

On Wednesday night of the same week, the entire city went on lockdown. A young man went on a rampage across Memphis randomly carjacking and shooting people. He was hard to track because he kept changing cars, so for hours no one was totally sure where he was. Everyone was told to shelter in place. They even stopped the Redbirds baseball game. I’ve never seen anything like it. Thankfully they did catch him later in the evening.

In more personal news, my grandma passed away last week at the age of 84 after a long decline from dementia. I was able to say goodbye to her in July, when I was in Miami for my cousin’s funeral. At that point I didn’t think she’d make it another week. Then she rallied a little. She lived exactly one day longer than the hospice doctor predicted. Getting the last word: classic Grandma. We’ll have a service at the end of October. Even though this was expected, it’s still sad and I keep remembering suddenly that she’s gone. But I know I was lucky to have a grandma into my 40s.

On a more mundane note, my department at work has decided we all have to come in to the office the same three days a week. This will be a complete flip of my current schedule (WFH three days, in the office two days), so I have to start all over with routines and making life work. If I didn’t have a toddler, it wouldn’t be as big a deal, but I’m stretched pretty thin. That hour I now have to spend in the car matters. Anyway, I’m trying to have a good attitude and hope for the best, but I have… a lot of thoughts.

Okay! Time to perk up!

Reading

Now What?: How to Move Forward When We’re Divided by Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers (4 stars) I rated this higher than my actual enjoyment because I know it’s excellent – I’m just not in the right headspace right now. It took me a long time to finish it. I’ll probably revisit it later. ALL the respect for these ladies.

The Cats Came Back, A Night’s Tail, and A Case of Cat and Mouse by Sofie Kelly (3 stars each) I was in such a reading slump that I didn’t finish a single book in the first half of September. I decided I needed an extended visit to Mayville Heights. The number of murders in this tiny town is starting to get absurd (as well as the causes – peanut anaphylaxis?!?), but I love the characters and the cats. I feel like this grouping of books was too much about the cases and not enough of the long-term plot. One big development FINALLY happened in these books, but I’m still impatiently waiting for another!

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin (5 stars) This lived up to the hype. It’s a novel about best friends, who are gamers, told over decades. I really enjoyed reading it, but the more it sinks in, the better I think it was.

Listening

Maggie Rogers is so on top of her game. This is the first song to make me car-dance in a long time. I can’t explain it, but I keep thinking how obsessed my early-20s self would have been with this album.

Watching

I followed the Lori Vallow case in real time, so I wanted to watch the new documentary Sins of Our Mother. It was compelling, but really upsetting.

Around Town

September 1 is a holiday in Memphis, 901 Day. This year it fell right before our week of collective trauma, and it was a fun day. We went to a party in a new area downtown, The Ravine. The atmosphere was great!

We got to attend two big Midtown September events for the first time since 2019! The first was the Central Gardens Home Tour. Every year, about ten fancy houses open up and you can walk through them. Volunteers tell you about the history, architecture, and design of the homes. We love it. The above is the only photo I got from the tour, since you’re not really supposed to take pictures.

The following weekend was Cooper-Young Fest!! Last year I sat in the car a few blocks away and cried because it was too crowded for me to feel comfortable going (this was before C could be vaccinated, and before we actually had covid). I was extremely excited to be back. None of my favorite artists/vendors were there this year, so we didn’t buy anything, but the atmosphere is the best part anyway.

The same day, we tailgated with friends at Tiger Lane before the first football home game! C and I did not attend the actual game because it was too close to his bedtime, but we had fun at the tailgate. First of many for this Tigers baby.

At Home

When we had our house painted almost two years ago, I had to pick something quickly for the door. I chose a bright yellow. While yellow is a good choice for a blue house, the tone wasn’t quite right, and we always planned to change it to something else. This summer I got some swatches and decided to try this coral-ish Behr Watermelon Slice. We love it! Now we can paint the back door too.

We got a few new throw pillow covers for the living room to make things more fallish. I also brought out this pumpkin pillow that I bought circa 2008. I used to keep it on the bed, and my friend Becca would tell me “Remember your pillow” when I got too stressed. Glad to have that reminder again.

I saw this fall owl candle pillar half off at Bath & Body Works and had to have it.

We’ve planted several trees in the backyard since the giant tree collapse in June. First we transplanted a Japanese maple from my condo patio that didn’t have enough light. Then Taylor brought home a deodar cedar for our new elevated landscape bed. Then I picked up a free redbud and maple from an Arbor Day Foundation event. Then we got a voucher from the neighborhood association for a new tree. Central Gardens is a Level 3 arboretum, so they take tree replacement seriously. An expert came out and assessed our space, and he and Taylor agreed on a black gum tree. Basically it’s tree central over here. And they’re all under 8 feet, so we don’t have to worry about them falling on anyone. Woohoo!

Wearing

I couldn’t resist the color and pattern of this Old Navy dress. Perfect for fake fall into actual fall! We also had another women’s clothing swap at church this month, and I found a bunch of great sweaters as well as a BCBG white puffer coat. I recently got a little obsessed with Meghan Markle’s engagement announcement coat, so maybe this was God’s way of telling me to calm down.

Eating

We had snacks after my exercise class one day, and someone brought these Aussie Bites. I had never heard of them, but that weekend we took a special trip to Costco to get a pack, and as you can see I’m obsessed. They’re delicious and one of the few non-produce snacks I’m allowed to eat.

Wellness

As I mentioned last month, I’ve been doing an 8-week program with Fit4Mom. Next week is the last week. I go to two exercise classes a week, and have to keep a log of all my exercise and everything I eat, which is then reviewed by a nutritionist. I have mostly gotten good “grades,” although at this point in the program I have to eat something besides produce or I’m going to go insane, so I’m getting called out more. This is a complicated topic for me, considering my history of shaky mental health around food, my belief in the harm of diet culture while I continue participating in it, etc. The diet part is not my favorite. What I love are the workouts. They’re really comprehensive, and you do five different sets of exercises each class so you’re never bored. This experience has also confirmed how much better it is for my mental health to leave the house and go to a class with other people. Other than running, I prefer every form of exercise in a group setting. At home, when the baby is crying and you’re tired and there’s so much to do, it can be easy to quit or not do it at all. When you go to a class, you are in a place to do a job, and your people have to respect that time. Also, comparison and community are powerful motivators.

Anyway, I was only able to do this program because it was near my house, on days I work from home, for a limited time period. Now that my schedule is being changed, I won’t be able to do this type of thing again. I’m having a lot of anxiety around how to keep up my fitness when I am once again relegated to working out at 8 pm. Which, if I haven’t mentioned it, I really hate, and cannot do four nights a week. In the beforetimes I had to get up at 5 am to exercise. If C ever sleeps through the night, I can start doing that again (especially since we have the Peloton right here), but currently sleep is still too precious. Breaking for exercise mid-day is what makes me feel the best all around. But going back to the butts in seats, rigid hours model of work takes away that option. Yay capitalism!!!

If you’re wondering, I’m not going to weigh or measure until the end of the program, but my clothes are fitting better, and I feel stronger and better in my body, and that’s really all I want. Barring a famine, I will probably never be super skinny again and that’s fine.

Randomness

I regret to announce that my favorite crosswords pen ran out of ink last week. It was a plain unremarkable stick pen from who knows where, but everyone in the house knew not to mess with Mommy’s pink pen. My evening crossword time just isn’t the same.

Baby Update

C is 15 months old! He’s building his vocabulary and, at this point, is only not walking because he doesn’t want to. What’s the draw when he can crawl or Mommy can carry him?? I believe he’s fully capable, but this kid let us know early that he doesn’t do things until HE is ready. It’ll happen soon enough. His current obsession/favorite toy is this musical dancing duck, which my mom got for him. It is noisy and makes a horrible clacking noise when you prevent it from dancing, which C does constantly. But it gives him joy, so I endure.

Thanks to generous hand-me-downs from friends, we haven’t had to buy many clothes for C until now. He’s moving into 18-month clothes, and when I took the 18-month bin down from the attic, I noticed it was almost all pants. So this month I went a LITTLE overboard buying him a full wardrobe of bodysuits, shirts, and sweaters. (Primary calls them “babysuits,” which is so cute it makes me want to buy more, give your marketing department a raise.) It was so much fun getting to pick things out myself! He’s also starting to grow out of his current pajamas, so I splurged on a couple sets of Little Sleepies. I was influenced by heysleepybaby. The pjs are so soft and have tons of room to grow. I regret nothing.

Your Monthly Rufus

As the angle of the sun gets lower, we’re enjoying more rainbows from our window prisms. One morning, a rainbow fell on Rufus just right.

Good Reads

One Day, Michelle Branch Will Write a Happy Love Song

Remote workers are wasting their time proving they’re actually working

Rommy Hunt Revson, Creator of the Scrunchie, Dies at 78

This was delightful: It’s About (Danged) Time: Lizzo at the Library!

Perfectionism and the Performance of Organizing. As someone whose spouse keeps calling her out on seeking ever-fancier storage containers for the gram, this was oof.

Reflections on a New Year

This Time Tomorrow, Today

2022 Fall Fashion is Better Than You Think