Not an April Fool

Is anyone still here? There’s no catching up on six months of lost updates, but I currently do not feel overwhelmed at the thought of sharing some things. So hello!

Life Update

My little family and I have been through a lot in the last couple of months. At the beginning of February, my toddler son C was admitted to the hospital with Type 1 Diabetes. In an instant, all of our lives changed almost as drastically as when he was born – and as I told friends, the month of February felt like bringing a new baby home from the hospital all over again. (Not an experience I wanted to revisit!!) The only difference was that we were all sleeping this time. While the diagnosis was a shock, C is happier and more energetic than we’ve ever seen him since starting on insulin. He’s a whole new kid. As rare as it already is for a two-and-a-half year old to present with T1D, I think he probably had it for a while and we just didn’t know. I expect to write more in the future about these events and the experience of being a T1D parent, but in summary, we have all come a LONG way in a short time and C is doing great. He has an excellent team of doctors and we have felt reassured and supported from the first moment. THANKFUL.

The other reason February felt postpartum-y is that a few days after C got out of the hospital, I had surgery. I’ve had a lot of health problems over the last year or so, contributing to almost zero iron in my bloodstream ( = no energy), and last fall I decided to have a hysterectomy. At 44, I officially do not have it in me to go through the pregnancy and birth process again. Also, I was miserable. My doctor fully supported my decision. It was an outpatient robotic laparoscopic procedure, and I had to wait six months for a spot because the robot OR is in high demand. Overall, my recovery has been good, and I’m feeling good now at seven weeks PO. However, the first couple of weeks were crazy because we were also adjusting to having a diabetic kid. It took a while to figure everything out with C’s preschool, so he was home, and we needed a lot of grandparent assistance while I was down for the count. I ended up extending my medical leave by a week to get enough true rest and get my head together. Anyway, I think it’s important to normalize women’s health, and I’m here to discuss with anyone thinking about yeeting their uterus! I’m glad I did it and excited to feel strong again and wear white pants without fear.

We had a big snow in January, before all the madness. Don’t laugh, 5″ is big for Memphis! We have no infrastructure! My mom, who has a white Jeep, got mini white Jeeps for the three youngest grandkids and C loves his. He wasn’t sure about driving it in the snow, though. He was also fairly nonplussed about our snowman, despite being in an Olaf phase. We were essentially snowed in for an entire week. Somehow all three of us survived.

My word for 2024 is Revive. I made this vision board for it in January. The flamingo represents a movement my friend Kelsey told me about called Get Your Pink Back – it’s a reference to how mother flamingos temporarily lose their pink color. Of course, a year meant to be about revival has kicked off with a time of depletion. If I was choosing now, I would choose Acceptance. On my bad days, I feel all knotted up inside trying to figure out how to fix various problems in my life. My nature for the last decade or so has been to fight and overcome. I think what I need currently is to stop fighting and let my life be what it is, and myself be what I am. Not giving up. Just taking a break from thrashing around internally. Anyway, I guess I can have two words – what, are they going to send the One Word police?

Reading

Here are a few things I’ve been reading. HOFAS was a slog. I am 3/5 through the stack on the right. I read the R. Eric Thomas book in two sittings (and repeatedly LOLed at it on a plane). Here is a brief list of everything I’ve read so far in 2024:

• On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good by Elise Loehnen (5 stars)
• You Got Anything Stronger?: Stories by Gabrielle Union (4 stars)
• The Most Likely Club by Elyssa Friedland (4 stars)
• It Was an Ugly Couch Anyway: And Other Thoughts on Moving Forward by Elizabeth Passarella (4 stars)
• House of Flame and Shadow by Sarah J. Maas (3 stars)
• One in a Millennial: On Friendship, Feelings, Fangirls, and Fitting In by Kate Kennedy (4 stars)
• Beyond the Wand: The Magic and Mayhem of Growing Up a Wizard by Tom Felton (4 stars)
• The Wisdom of Your Body by Dr. Hillary L. McBride (4 stars)
• Leslie F*cking Jones by Leslie Jones (4 stars)
• Congratulations, the Best is Over! by R. Eric Thomas (5 stars)
• This Impossible Brightness by Jessica Bryant Klagmann (3.5 stars)
• The Real Deal by Caitlin Devlin (3 stars)

And, of course, a ton of fanfic, without which this list would be longer.

Travel

During C’s spring break, we took a road trip through the Florida Keys and stayed in Key West for a couple of nights. I’ve spent a lot of time in the Keys and it’s one of my favorite places in the world, but I’ve usually been there on the serious family business of catching lobster. (THIS IS NOT A VACATION! WE ARE HERE FOR LOBSTER!) So I was excited to actually experience Key West. It was our first trip since C’s diagnosis, and I’m happy to report it was no more difficult to manage his diabetes on the road than it is at home. He had a great time. It was a lot for both of us, though – the day we got home, C and I both slept all afternoon.

The Key West Butterfly & Nature Conservatory must be seen to be believed. There’s a difference between being told about hundreds of butterflies and actually experiencing them. I could have stayed all day and will definitely visit again.

We came back to Miami for our last night to see my uncle and my 91-year-old grandfather. He’s having a tough time, but still hanging in. He was happy to see his great-grandson.

Home

We did a bathroom remodel / primary bathroom creation last fall right before the holidays. (As in, hired a crew to do it.) We closed off an unnecessary loop upstairs to double the size of one small bathroom AND create a new closet, which in Midtown is a big deal. There’s a tall double vanity with drawers and a luxurious walk-in shower, and it has been such a retreat during the recent craziness. It’s also nice to share a bathroom with my husband instead of my toddler. I’ve taken the opportunity to rethink some organization, and this drawer makes me feel like an influencer. These bendy plastic dividers are $2 for a multipack at Target. Highly recommend.

The bathroom remodel was part of a house overhaul that escalated. We also got all-new kitchen appliances last fall because something was wrong with all the old ones. The fridge kept dropping to freezing and destroying all of my produce. The oven randomly didn’t light. The dishwasher randomly failed to dispense detergent. It was no way to live, and because they were all Viking appliances (that came with the house), it was cheaper to get new stuff than to have it fixed! My favorite feature of the new fridge is the craft ice maker. I haven’t used the ice in a cocktail yet, but I love it in freshly brewed iced tea. It’ll be great for mules.

Since the greenhouse is finally sealed, I’ve already started my garden! The soil in the greenhouse was past its prime, so Taylor totally replaced it for me. I have cucumbers, a few peppers, basil, dill, and cilantro. Taylor got me blueberry, strawberry, and raspberry plants. I’m only doing two big tomato plants this year, a Better Boy and a grape tomato, and we also have a hanging grape tomato that already has fruit on it. I may add more things as I come across them, since there’s some free space. We have been waiting to finish and mulch the flower beds until the Great Oaking is complete, which seems to be happening as we speak.

Fashion & Beauty

I recently went to a Cabi party at my neighbor’s house. I didn’t buy anything because the prices were outrageous, but I can’t stop thinking about the concept, which is basically Garanimals for adults. Every season they put out a few collections that are on trend and all the pieces go together. Like many people, I haven’t felt right in my clothes since March 2020. I used to know exactly what I liked and what would look best on me. I had a carefully curated wardrobe that met my needs as a childless woman working in a professional environment whose weight had been stable for a decade. In March 2024, none of those things still apply. In the intervening time I have bought bins and bins of clothes (mostly at thrift so it’s low-risk) that haven’t worked long term. I can’t get my closet door shut, but am not excited to get dressed and usually end up in a meh shirt and the same pair of skinny jeans. I still don’t know how to “flatter” this body that’s 25 pounds heavier than my pre-pandemic, pre-pregnancy one. What the Cabi party made me realize is I don’t know how to put an outfit together anymore, and that is the main cause of my malaise. I need a personal fashion consultant and/or Garanimals for adults. In the meantime I’m doing sort of a default sporty mom thing.

As you can see in some of the sweatshirt pictures, I am occasionally rocking straight hair these days. My curl pattern has loosened noticeably since having C (I went from 3b to 3a, or even 2c in places) and I bought a Revlon One Step to explore my options. I was shocked by how easily my hair blew out. I like the different look, and straighter hair is just easier to deal with sometimes. Also, so far no one has made an excessive deal about it or told me I “LOOK SO MUCH BETTER,” which was a problem in my 20s and made me swear off straightening completely. Let people live!!

I continue to get a monthly Ipsy bag (that’s where I got most of the prods in the bathroom drawer photo). It has turned me from a woman who had no idea how to use liquid eyeliner to one who wants to use ONLY liquid eyeliner. I’ve been thinking of getting a lash lift, but then I was influenced by Elyse Meyers to try this serum instead. Supposedly it takes six weeks to see the full effect. Will report back.

Random Happiness

We went to Boulder, Colorado last Labor Day (a trip I never got around to posting about) and FELL IN LOVE with the place. I left a piece of my heart there and feel happier when I use this mug. We’re hoping to go back this summer.

I say this a lot, but I have never been so happy at a church as I am currently. Going into my surgery and then with C’s unexpected diagnosis, I felt confident that if I really needed support in a specific area, I could ask for it and someone in our church community would step up. That means everything. I also extend this to my friend Sarah, who has the same giving spirit and offered to help in any way we needed. <3

I’ve become a fan of Jo Piazza, who has a Substack and a podcast and several books, including her new novel based on the true story of her ancestor’s murder in Sicily. I got lifetime paid access to her Substack for pre-ordering the book, and am really enjoying her posts. I also became a paid subscriber of Caro Chambers in January. I have yet to dive deep into her recipes because… life, but I have implemented her meal planning idea where you choose a handful of recipes and only make those for a while. I physically printed out 8 recipes, stuck them on the side of the fridge, and try to make sure I keep the ingredients in stock. It’s not rocket science but it helps. Pretty soon I’ll do a refresh for spring.

This Target candle is a solid dupe for the famous Anthropologie candle. You’ll know it when you smell it.

Toddler Update

C will turn three before we know it and is growing exponentially in every way. His vocabulary has exploded and he’s having full conversations. He can count to around 50 and is reading (I also read before three, so this is not unprecedented). Even if it’s simple sight recognition, we have confirmed it with tests like typing words on our phones without context and asking him what it says. His current favorite books are Go, Dog, Go and Tiger & Grizz Play Basketball. He can also do basic addition and subtraction thanks to Numberblocks. He has adjusted to T1D like a champ and no longer cries or objects to his insulin shots (which is kind of sad, but overall positive). He enjoys school and is talking to us more about his friends. We are still dealing with some classic toddler tantrums and fussiness, but overall I’m liking this age.

Your Monthly Rufus

Rufus will be ten years old next month (!!!), but he’s still a healthy and fairly energetic kitty. We are working on positive kitty and toddler interactions. C gets too excited and Rufus is not here for it.

C is not currently using his bed, so Rufus has claimed it.

In Conclusion

I might finally be in the right headspace to start posting here again. Last October, my job responsibilities changed and consumed the sliver of free mental energy I had left. Now things have stabilized and I’ve gotten past some personal milestones. I deeply envy creative people who are driven and/or energized by parenthood – look at all the women who started businesses or wrote books when their kids were infants, I mean, SenLinYu wrote Manacled on her phone in the middle of the night! I have had the opposite experience. Early parenthood has drained me to a shell of myself. I’m just now starting to have moments when I feel like an actualized human. I’ve always known that the preschool years would not be my strongest area, but this has surpassed even my low bar. Maybe I’ll be that energized mom when C is a teenager.

Anyway, happy spring everyone!