It took a pandemic for me to get the amount of downtime I actually needed. Before COVID, I was busier than I wanted to be. I’d been working on having a less insane life for several years, but in my heart, I often would have preferred being at home to doing whatever I was doing. This is not to say I didn’t enjoy most of the people and activities I had kept. I just… needed more space and rest. I also didn’t feel like I could cut back any further without committing social suicide / offending people / being lazy/boring/selfish. Now I work at home, spend most evenings in quiet pursuits, haven’t seen most of my friends since the summer, and don’t have to feel guilty about any of it. While I’m definitely ready to be out and about again with other humans (and hope the vaccine will make that possible before I have this baby), I don’t totally hate this life even nine months in.
Basic decency isn’t so basic. I have been stunned again and again this year by what a lot of self-proclaimed “good Christian” people condone or even just accept, and how resistant they are to putting the needs of the marginalized (or of the group) ahead of their own. It truly grieves me. And reminds me that I can never stop examining my own outlook and behavior, because I am not innocent.
Take your prenatal vitamins before bed, not in the morning. And never take them all at once. I was brilliantly taking a big handful of pills every morning and then (frequently) throwing them all up. I asked my doctor why this was still happening in my second trimester and she connected the dots. Since making these changes, so far I have not had any more incidents.
Related: I am a smart, educated woman in my 40s who was still largely clueless about pregnancy. For example, until this fall, the only explanation I had for why you throw up or have heartburn during pregnancy was “hormones.” No one ever told me that said hormones relax your whole digestive tract, rendering it ineffective and unable to keep things in their proper place. (I will never take a functioning digestive tract for granted again. Miss you!! xoxo)
I can do life alone if I have to, but I’d really rather not. Between the pandemic, the racial unrest, and politics in general, most people I know have experienced big relational tension this year. I have too, for those reasons and also more personal ones. At one time or another, I’ve briefly felt alienated from many people close to me. I’ve wondered if anyone is really “safe.” I’ve reminded myself that I’m capable of self-reliance, and if I have to isolate myself (emotionally and socially) in order to live by my principles/be myself in peace, I can handle it. But honestly, it doesn’t sound like much of a life. That’s a difference between me now and me five years ago: going it alone sounds more sad than badass these days. (PS: none of this refers to my marriage, which is going great. One of the best things about 2020 is how close we are after spending most of the year together.)
I don’t really know what friendship is in a pandemic. I’ve been getting existential about this since March. If your friends are the people you see regularly and/or do activities with, what happens when there’s no seeing or activities? Are your friends then people you talk to sometimes and send caring thoughts back and forth into the universe? I guess?
Zoom exhausts me. Please do not take it personally if I’ve been less than enthusiastic about getting on a friend Zoom with you. I want to see you and realize this is really the only option we have for socialization. But I dread the camera angle, the talking over each other, the lack of parameters, the very nature of Zoom.
Finally and most importantly: We will not know for a long time what we really learned this year. All year, I’ve been privy to “what are we learning in the midst of this? what are the takeaways??” type messaging, and I Just Can’t. I’ve been through enough survival times in my life to know that it can take years to comprehend what was going on, and what the lasting impacts were. If you enjoy reflecting on this stuff, go for it, but if not, I advise not worrying about it right now. You can’t see the forest while you’re in it. It’ll all become clear when we’re in a better, or at least a different, place.
Here’s to 2021, everyone. <3
Add a Comment + Posted in: reflections, year end
Orphans – Coldplay // Who knew a song about wanting to be carefree and with your friends again would be so relevant.
Don’t Start Now – Dua Lipa // Dua Lipa is one of the current artists Taylor and I really agree on. This was our car jam for a while.
Lucky – Southern Avenue // I think Southern Avenue, a Grammy-winning local band, might have played a Grizz game early this year and thus reminded me to look into more of their stuff. They’re really good.
Stupid Love – Lady Gaga // A song I could count on to perk me up early in the pandemic.
Now I’m In It – HAIM // My favorite song of 2020, and I have no concrete explanation why. I suspect it has to do with its structural similarities to “I Want You” by Savage Garden, a big hit during a carefree time of my life.
Little Frogs – Sarah Harmer // Discovering Sarah Harmer finally had a new album out after 10 years was one of my most purely joyful moments of this year. Every track is amazing, but I gravitated toward this as a description of our quiet at-home pandemic life.
Raising Hell – Kesha feat. Big Freedia // I didn’t run much this year, but I definitely listened to this on every run. Usually multiple times. It also makes me think of my great little church of misfits.
circle the drain – soccer mommy // A determinedly cheery-ish song about depression and every day seeming the same. How 2020!
Adore You – Harry Styles // This song was everywhere all summer, and I must admit I like it. (Though I still think “Sign of the Times” is his best work and would also be good for this year.)
I Got You – Michael Franti & Spearhead // I can’t remember where I came across this video, which Michael Franti and his wife filmed in quarantine, but it and the song are delightful.
Caution – The Killers // Once Broadway fires up again, we are OVERDUE for a Killers jukebox musical. They just keep getting better.
peace – Taylor Swift // Like many others, I spent a happy morning listening to folklore straight through after its surprise midnight release. This song caught my attention since Peace was my word for the year.
Into the Unknown – Idina Menzel // I finally watched Frozen 2 while Taylor was away for a night, and wept through at least the last half hour. I then listened to this and “Show Yourself” obsessively for the next few weeks. I connect in odd ways with Elsa’s emotional journey over the two movies.
Emoji of a Wave – John Mayer // I looked up this song after reading a blog post about it. Another pandemic-appropriate tune: it’s just a wave, and when it comes, I just hold on.
Deleter – Grouplove // Something to put on when I need an energy boost.
Dying to Believe – The Beths // I am all about The Beths. Their stuff is just fun.
Sleep at Night – The Chicks // On my one drive to Nashville this year, I finally checked out The Chicks’ new album. They had me at My husband’s girlfriend’s husband just called me up, how messed up is that?
Stand Tall – Julie and the Phantoms // I discovered Julie and the Phantoms thanks to an election meme casting the phantom band members as states coming through one at a time for Biden. The show is fairly Disney Channel, but very enjoyable and most of the songs are great. This is my favorite.
survivin’ – Bastille // As I struggled to power through my first trimester, I really felt like this song got me.
OK Not to Be OK – Marshmello feat. Demi Lovato // This song gets all of us at the end of 2020.
Previous Years: 2019 // 2018 // 2017 // 2016 // 2015 // 2014 // 2013 // 2012 // 2011
I’ve completed this survey every December since 2001. You can find past years’ posts in the Year End tag!
1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before?
Experienced a global pandemic; worked exclusively from home for most of the year; phone banked and canvassed for a political candidate; helped lead liturgy; quarantined; was pretty incapacitated for over a month; worked on a corporate acquisition; was pregnant twice in one year; attended church mostly online; maintained a pregnancy for longer than eight weeks; cooked a whole Thanksgiving dinner by myself.
2. What was your word for the year?
My One Word for 2020 was Peace. Ha ha!! My main takeaway was the importance of finding and maintaining peace within, because I’m sure not going to find it out in the world.
3. What new places did you visit?
I had been to Wyoming before, but only the flat southeast part. This summer we visited my brother and SIL in the Bighorn Mountains and it was wonderful. He also took me across the state line to cross Montana off my list! I feel like any new states added in 2020 are worth 3 states in another year.
4. What dates from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 29 – a happy Leap Day spent in New Orleans with friends. March 11 – the NBA shut down, and everything hit the fan pandemic-wise. I will never forget what I was doing that evening. March 17 – my last day working in the office. April 15 – found out my second pregnancy wasn’t viable. April 17 – I bought a new MacBook, and my MIL fell and broke her collarbone. (These events were not related.) September 6 – kayaked on the Spring River with friends, one of my best days of the year. October 2 – found out I was pregnant again! November 7 – the election was called. December 1 – my newest niece was born!
5. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 41. It was a Sunday. Taylor picked up my favorite Café Eclectic brunch to go, and I ate it while watching church. Then we went to a nearby nature preserve with my parents. In the evening, Taylor’s parents joined us in the backyard. We talked, opened presents, and ordered Slider Inn (I had my special-occasion Jameson slushie). It was a good day.
6. How will you spend Christmas?
At home with both sets of our parents, with precautions.
7. Did anyone close to you have a child in 2020?
My sister Debra had my newest niece! Also, two friends, Carol and Morgan, had baby boys.
8. Did anyone close to you die?
No, and I’ve never been so thankful to be able to say that.
9. What 2020 achievements are you most proud of?
Standing up for myself and my beliefs / having good boundaries in some painful situations. Starting and continuing weight training. Finishing my wedding thank-you notes by the anniversary deadline.
10. What do you wish you had done better?
I thought I would have a spotless, decluttered, perfectly organized home by the end of quarantine… and that was when we thought quarantine would last a month. Nine months later, any progress in that area has been made by Taylor, not me. I’ve barely kept up with daily maintenance or met my own cleaning standards. I’ve read all the things about not expecting too much of ourselves during an extended global trauma (especially when you have a brief pregnancy, a miscarriage, and then another pregnancy in the midst of said trauma). So I don’t beat myself up about it now, but I know I’ll grieve the wasted time someday when I’m back to spending most of my life out of the home.
11. What was the biggest challenge you faced?
Tuning out all the noise and listening for God’s voice (and my own).
12. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Only two things: pregnancy misery, and a strange, severe cold in mid-January that I later suspected might have been the rona (but I don’t have antibodies).
13. What was your best purchase?
My new computer. All my work-from-home pants.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Furniture/house stuff, medical bills, and Old Navy.
15. What were your best new discoveries?
The Starbucks Medicine Ball drink and its iced cousin, Green Tea Lemonade.
16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing my baby and hearing his heartbeat. Watching the owls in our neighborhood.
17. What song will always remind you of 2020?
Say So, Doja Cat
18. What concerts did you attend this year?
My mom, sister, and I saw Celine Dion in February. At least we went big before we went home!
19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Julie and the Phantoms? :)
20. What were your favorite TV programs?
Nothing will top This Is Us for me as long as it’s on the air. My favorite streaming shows this year: Cheer, The Leftovers, The Plot Against America, Never Have I Ever.
21. What were your favorite films?
Little Women, and I bet Wonder Woman 1984 will join the list when I watch it on Christmas! Pandemic note: the last movie I saw in a theater was The Way Back, on March 6.
22. What was the best gift you received?
Ask again after Christmas?
23. What did you want and get?
Last year, I said I wanted “a long-term home (it’s happening!!). A new laptop, as mine currently runs like a desktop from 1998. Hopefully a child.” 2.5 out of 3! I also secretly wanted more time to be at home in peace. Sorry, everyone.
24. What did you want and not get?
Normalcy. Being able to hug my loved ones.
25. How would you describe your personal style in 2020?
Day pajamas and night pajamas.
26. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
We’re Dr. Fauci fans in this house. I was also frequently uplifted by Chrissy Tiegen and John Legend this year.
27. Who was the best new person you met?
Thanks to COVID, I had to think hard about whether I met anyone new this year. I’ve gone to church with my trainer and friend Kara for a while, but I remembered we didn’t actually start talking until February.
28. What were the best conversations you had?
With Taylor, my sister, and my mom.
29. What political issue stirred you the most?
Racism; I’ve done more reckoning with it this year, and I continue to learn and try to be a better ally. Related, the fact that 70 million Americans are still on board with, or at least willing to tolerate, white supremacy and basically every variety of hate and prejudice… and a lot of them are doing it in the name of the same Jesus I follow. It grieves and disturbs me in my soul.
30. How have your beliefs changed this year?
They’re mostly the same, but stronger. In particular, one of my core principles: I resist fundamentalism and extremism, no matter where it comes from. Not from someone I love, and not even from a side that I generally agree with.
31. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked this year?
The freedom to be close to people without worry, and to be out in the world. Also, a better yield from my garden/greenhouse. We were still figuring things out this year.
32. What behaviors do you want to change in 2021?
I hope to be more motivated and productive. I also expect to have a lot more work to do in terms of tuning out the noise. Nothing provokes unsolicited commentary/judgment like pregnancy and motherhood.
33. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Unexpected lunch dates with my sweetheart in the townships
Hardly even noticing these depressing surroundings
‘Cause there’s more time with his eyes that way, I’m lost in their affections
The warmest brown is eiderdown
It’s sacred ground to rest in
All that I love, rain at night
Shadows that fall in the backyard moonlight
Whatever it was we heard in the woods that we may never see
Who doesn’t love a mystery?
Pink fingerlings and Yukon Golds dug up and drying on the floor
Little frogs on the front lawn I didn’t kill in the mower
Phoebe back to build again above the basement door
Dry owl wings and other things I’m wildly grateful for. – Sarah Harmer
I’m pregnant!!!
I realized there’s no point at which I’ll feel “safe” sharing, so now that I’m in the second trimester (and am showing more than I can successfully hide), it’s time to announce our happy news! We went public on social media last weekend and were overwhelmed by everyone’s excitement and congratulations. Thank you all!!!
I really like the way Erin’s Inside Job outlined her pregnancy posts, so I’m going to use her framework for a first-trimester recap.
Note: I know it can be hard to read stuff like this when you’re struggling with infertility, grieving a loss, or just longing for a family of your own. Getting here hasn’t been easy for me either (and I know there are no guarantees!). My intention is never to brag or make anyone feel bad. Feel free to skip this if you need to! <3
Finding Out
I found out I was pregnant on October 2. It was a little early to take a test, but I know my body and was already pretty sure what the results would be! We were happy and excited. With my other two pregnancies, a lot of negotiation was involved in when to tell family, but I was leaving the next day to visit my sister Debra for possibly the only time in this pandemic. Since this is her last baby, it would be our only opportunity to be together while pregnant at the same time. Taylor agreed that I could tell Debra, so she found out about ten minutes after we did! I’m so thankful we got to share that weekend. It also really helped to have her support and good advice in those first few weeks.
I had my first ultrasound at my specialist’s office at a little over 7 weeks. After my last experience with an earlier ultrasound, I was glad to wait until we could definitively know whether the baby was viable or not. I had to go alone due to rona protocols and was very nervous, but the ultrasound tech saw the heartbeat right away, and the growth was right on target! They had me come in twice more over the following weeks, and everything continued to look great. The regular checkups were reassuring – I was thankful never to have to sit too long with my ongoing Schrodinger’s Baby situation.
My last ultrasound was at about 9 ½ weeks, at which point my specialist transferred my care to my regular OB. Taylor was allowed to come with me to the first OB appointment at the end of November, and we heard the heartbeat for the first time! That milestone was really meaningful to me (in addition to, of course, being a huge relief).
We found out the sex so early because my doctor recommended a NIPT. Science is crazy!! (We’re low risk for Down Syndrome and related syndromes, which is nice to know.) Over Thanksgiving weekend, we did a gender reveal on Zoom for the whole immediate family. Taylor put it together and it was the best reveal we could have had in these times.
Physically
Not going to lie, my first trimester has been rough. The sickness hit around six weeks. At first it felt like constant motion sickness, making it difficult to work, and impossible to be on my phone for long or read a book (see also: monthly book count plunging from 10 to 3. I fought for those 3!!). Even within the comforts of home, all my energy went toward surviving and then recovering from the workday. If I started to feel really terrible, I would lay down and close my eyes for ten minutes. Once I gave up and just brought my computer into the bed. Eventually the motion sickness faded into all-day nausea and heartburn. My life became one long blur of trying to work, trying to eat, and laying on the couch. Some days were better than others, but weekends were my only real hope of getting anything done at home. I didn’t take a turn for the better until 12 weeks, and I’m still not 100%. However, I saw big improvement once my doctor told me I could take Pepcid.
Unquestioned permission to hermit has been the #1 upside of a pandemic pregnancy. At times I felt so physically unstable, I was afraid to leave the house, and glad I didn’t have to. I cannot imagine having to dress up, go to work, and act like everything is fine while dealing with this. Or trying to maintain my pre-rona social and activity schedule. Everyone would have known early that something was up. On the other hand, maybe it would have helped to get out and think about something else. I’ll never know.
Foods
I’ve always eaten pretty healthily and was excited to continue that for my baby’s benefit. Then the food aversions started. I couldn’t even think about a vegetable. My first trimester diet has consisted of lots of carbs and the kinds of things you eat when you’re getting over a stomach virus. Foods I could almost always eat: grilled cheese, Campbell’s chicken noodle soup, ramen, popcorn, Jello, crackers, scrambled eggs, fruit cups, and chicken nuggets. I had a moment with smoothies. I haven’t wanted sweets, except for ice cream (which at least has calcium). I stocked up on decaf coffee and tea, but sadly discovered they made me sick too. Crystal Light has been my beverage of choice. Thankfully, a lot of the aversions are fading now. I’m hoping to enjoy at least one Starbucks holiday drink before they’re gone. One thing I am LOVING that I don’t usually care about: condiments. Give me all the mustard and Arby’s sauce.
Happily, Thanksgiving fell right as I was starting to turn a corner, so I was able to eat everything on my menu! It was the first well-rounded meal I’d had in a long time. I’ve never been so excited about mashed potatoes.
Early on, I read some diet culture crap (on a pregnancy app I no longer use) that made me angry and was also triggery. I felt guilty about my “bad” diet, and was still trying to eat “normal” meals at “normal” mealtimes and keep snacking to a minimum. It took my sister a while to convince me I’d feel better taking more of a “constant grazing” approach. Once I saw how much it helped (and heard the same advice from my doctor), I quickly got over having to eat so often. I also decided that getting any food into my body was more important than forcing down healthy things that sounded terrible. I’m hopeful I can soon eat more fish, vegetables, salads, and other things I normally love that are good for the baby. And if I can’t, it’ll still be okay. After this experience, I have… a lot of words for anyone who shames the eating choices of a sick pregnant person. (“First of all, how dare you.”)
Workouts
I always thought I would have a fit, active pregnancy. That has not been possible in the first trimester. We bought an elliptical when I was six or seven weeks, I did a couple of workouts, and then I didn’t touch it again for over a month. I managed to do 30 minutes on it recently, but it’ll likely be a while longer until I can get back on a schedule. The first weekend of December, I did the virtual St. Jude 10K (some running, but mostly walking). I was determined to honor that commitment. It was by far the most I had exerted myself since getting pregnant. Most days I probably haven’t even taken a thousand steps.
I think I’d enjoy more walks, but, you know, the sun sets before 5 PM now. Occasionally Taylor and I walk together in the dark if it’s not too cold. I also want to do more yoga, but inverted and downward facing poses have aggravated my heartburn too much. I can only do the most relaxing Yoga with Adriene videos that are entirely on the floor. I still signed up for her 30 Days of Yoga in January… we’ll see how that goes.
The one thing I have sustained is weight training. I still go to my trainer Kara once a week, and we do whatever safe exercises I feel up to doing. I think I’ve only had to cancel once. Getting stronger for a pregnancy was one of the reasons I started training in the first place, so I really don’t want to lose that. We’re not shooting for any PRs anymore, just maintaining. This can be hard for me to swallow on days when I feel okay-ish. Another day, I almost passed out after a set of goblet squats. It’s a mixed bag.
Emotionally
The first trimester is an especially anxious time when you have a history of miscarriage. I kept an emotional distance at first, while knowing that my doctor and I have done all we can to address my various medical issues. All I could do was wait. With each week and each positive report, I’ve felt lighter. At 14 weeks, I’m more optimistic and can think about having this baby as more of a “when” than an “if.” My gut feeling is that this one is going to make it. But as I said before, I take nothing for granted. I will never go to an appointment without holding my breath a little. I look forward to feeling the baby move so I’ll know he’s okay in there.
I honestly haven’t had the capacity for many other emotions, because I’ve been so focused on getting through the day. Being sick kind of folded me in on myself emotionally and socially, and I’m just starting to come out of it. I am of course very happy about the baby and fully believe he’s worth all this, while also feeling a little intimidated, both about raising a boy and about all the changes of being a mom in general. Plenty of time to explore that later.
I will say, I have a renewed sense that being an older mom is right for me. Not only have I had the opportunity to do lots of things, build a life, and become a healthier person before taking this step, but I’ve also gotten to watch the majority of my friends have kids. I’ve witnessed the full range of parenting/baby care approaches and have some idea of what I do and do not want to emulate. I have over eight years of aunt experience. I’m not going into this blind, which gives me a little confidence I wouldn’t have had otherwise.
I’m also sure Taylor will be a wonderful father. He’s a natural teacher and naturally good with kids (abilities I do not have). He’s been so supportive and understanding these last few months, getting me whatever I need and making sure I feel secure and cared for. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in this whole experience. I love him very much.
Meanwhile, Rufus is not so sure about this whole baby thing.
3 Comments + Posted in: announcement, family, hope
I don’t usually do What I’m Into in December because I’m busy with many year-end posts, which I plan to start working on this week! So this fall-ending roundup might be the last for this weird year. Let’s go.
Reading
I’ll Have What She’s Having: How Nora Ephron’s Three Iconic Films Saved the Romantic Comedy by Erin Carlson (3.5 stars) A fun deep dive into the making of When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail. At times there were too many names being thrown around to keep track of, but WHMS and YGM are two of my all-time favorite movies, so I still enjoyed it.
A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness (4.5 stars) Many of my friends love the All Souls books, but I’d never read them. This came up in a book chat with my friend Vada and a few others, and we decided to do a Zoom book club. Of course I couldn’t control myself and finished the whole book before we even got to Chapter 20 in our discussion. The only reason I didn’t give this 5 stars is I’m slightly less academic/historically minded than the author and her characters. Overall, it really is the smart, adult Twilight.
Startup by Doree Shafrir (3.5 stars) A novel about a founder, a tech journalist, and a working mom in the New York startup scene. I knew nothing about startup culture and only sought this out as a Forever35 fan, but I have a new level of respect for Doree, because she clearly knew what she was talking about here and brought out its humanity.
Listening
Best 2020 anthem yet:
Someone used this Julie and the Phantoms song in a Twitter meme and I was instantly obsessed:
The Lazy Genius Guide to Spices was surprisingly interesting.
Watching
Two pleasant-surprise movies I saw this month: Ready Player One (I never read the book, but the movie is a visual feast) and The Two Popes. I was already a big fan of Pope Francis and this movie made me love him even more. During an early scene when he and Pope Benedict are arguing, I turned to Taylor and said “This might be the best sermon I’ve heard in months.” I also learned a lot about Argentinian history and how popes are chosen.
Another random Netflix watch we really liked was Midnight Special. It’s a sci-fi road movie about a child with mystical powers. Right up my alley.
We’re over halfway through Ted Lasso, and it’s as good as everyone says! As aforementioned, I’m also loving Julie and the Phantoms, which is perfect to watch on my lunch breaks. (Taylor: “Is this a kids show?” Me: “Yep.”)
“Around Town“
The Tiger basketball program streamed a virtual Memphis Madness on their YouTube channel. It was of course not the same as the in-person event, but we appreciated the effort.
At Home
The fall colors have been beautiful in the neighborhood!
Eating
We had a covid-safe Thanksgiving at home with just Taylor’s parents. I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to plan and cook a small Thanksgiving spread by myself, and we were all pleased with the results! Menu: Turkey for Two (scaled up for four – note, if you do this, double the cooking time); mashed potatoes (scaled down by half); green bean casserole (I used French’s fried onions in a can instead of cooking them separately); Stove Top stuffing from a box; and cranberry orange sauce. I would definitely use these recipes again. Taylor contributed rolls, and also spaghetti, for a non-traditional option.
For dessert I made cheesecake with blueberry topping. I had never baked a cheesecake before and chose a “no water bath” option to prevent an inevitable holiday scalding/trip to the ER. I CANNOT SAY ENOUGH ABOUT THIS CHEESECAKE. It was amazing and I anticipate making it for many future occasions. We also had brownies that my MIL brought.
Wearing
Loft has some really nice sweaters right now. I’ve wanted a cute animal sweater for a while, so when I saw this owl sweater at a big markdown, I had to have it. It’s making me very happy.
As for my semi-monthly Old Navy purchases, I added some leopard joggers to my stretchy pants wardrobe, and have been LIVING in these Allbirds knockoffs I bought on impulse. I’m talking indoors, outdoors, going to the store in them not caring if they’re meant to be house shoes. But I don’t recommend long walks in them because while they’re cushy, they’re not very supportive.
Beauty
I’m #blessed with curly, dry-ish hair and an oily scalp. It’s hard to find shampoo that addresses both. My go-to is L’Oreal Vive Extraordinary Clay, but I saw a recommendation for Aveeno Almond Oil shampoo and decided to check it out. It’s definitely more on the hydrating end of the spectrum than the scalp-calming end, but it’s a nice change and smells good.
My Ipsy bag was really cute this month and I’m excited about the big fluffy brush!
Random Happiness
When the election was finally called on that historic Saturday, I was on my sister’s baby shower Zoom. Taylor shouted to me from the other room. I knew Debra didn’t have her phone on her, so I texted my BIL to give him the news. We concluded the shower calmly and then, seeing the celebrations on TV and not knowing what to do with myself, I went outside and ran laps around our house, cheering. Several excited phone calls followed. Later, Taylor and I drove around blasting celebratory music and flying an American flag out the car window. That night we watched the acceptance speech/fireworks show, and I danced around the living room to “Party in the USA.” It was the lightest I’d felt in four years. This country is still a mess, but I can’t express how relieved I am to soon be led by an experienced, empathetic human being.
We had an A+ rainbow this month, which I almost missed because the time had just changed and I hadn’t adjusted to 3:30 being a prime window for rainbows.
I never cease to be entertained by the head bobbing cat.
I also laugh hysterically every time I look at this meme. I don’t know what about it gets me so much.
Our zoo named its new baby giraffe Ja Raffe, in honor of our NBA Rookie of the Year Ja Morant. This article about the meeting of the two Jas is delightful.
Your Monthly Rufus
For most of November, we only had one functioning thermostat for our two HVAC systems (upstairs and downstairs). A technician had already come out and fixed the downstairs system once, but Taylor realized the problem was in the wiring of the Nest. We got a free replacement, but had to wait weeks for it to arrive, which it finally did yesterday (right along with early-winter weather). In the meantime, we used a space heater to stay comfortable in the living room. I’ve never seen Rufus react to anything the way he reacted to this heater. He basked and lolled in front of it for hours like he was at the beach. Here’s a selection from our approximately 80 photos of him in various stages of joy.
And some additional cuteness:
Good Reads
- When You’re Getting Sea Sick, Keep Your Eyes On The Horizon
- Has Downsizing Been What We Expected?
- What Are You For?
- Pandemic-Proof Your Habits
- Hi dad.
- Forgiveness Is Not the Way Forward
- Getting in Better Shape Seems Like Too Much Work; Help
- the Christmas tantrum, the dirty elf, and other tales of holidays at work
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