Main Events

October is usually when the seasons shift around here. The rainy, gloomy, and cold weather has begun, and I’m trying not to think about how much more of it is ahead. I feel like we skipped Pleasant Fall completely and went straight from summer to Dreary Fall. Instead of eating in the sunny backyard or walking around the block, I’m now spending my lunches napping or watching Friends on TBS. I’ll adjust and get my act together eventually, and make the most of the nice days we do have.

ARE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE?!?!?!!?!?!?! Just kidding, it’s too late now, but I hope everyone is on it. Taylor and I early voted last week, downtown at the Election Commission, to really commemorate what I pray is not our last free and fair vote.

In an effort to contribute something, I also wrote a batch of letters for Vote Forward this month.

Reading

The Lazy Genius Way: Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn’t, and Get Stuff Done by Kendra Adachi (4 stars) This is exactly what it sounds like. It was really helpful.

If, Then by Kate Hope Day (3 stars) Parallel universes start to overlap in this novel about a small Oregon mountain town.

Nothing Like I Imagined (Except for Sometimes) by Mindy Kaling (5 stars) A new Mindy essay collection, published individually and exclusively for Kindle. I didn’t even know this was coming out and devoured it all in a day. Also, HOW ABOUT her surprise quarantine second child?!?

Blessed Are the Nones: Mixed-Faith Marriage and My Search for Spiritual Community by Stina Kielsmeier-Cook (4 stars) After Kielsmeier-Cook’s husband deconverted from Christianity, she found an unexpected kinship with a small order of nuns in her neighborhood. I’ve had this memoir on my list since it was first announced. It’s a little different than I expected, but very good!

After the Fall, Before the Fall, During the Fall by Nancy Kress (2 stars) This sci-fi novel jumps around in time before, during, and after a nature-driven apocalypse. Something about the writing just didn’t hit for me… even though it’s won some awards. I would have given up if it wasn’t so short.

My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh (3 stars) A nameless, wealthy Manhattan protagonist decides to sleep away a year of her life (thanks to increasingly strong drugs) and wake up a new, better person. Her year ends the summer before 9/11. It seemed like an appropriate pandemic read. I wouldn’t say I “enjoyed” this, but it was compelling enough that I read it in one sitting.

What Unites Us: Reflections on Patriotism by Dan Rather (4.5 stars) Dan Rather is a national treasure. This man was born during the Depression and has SEEN IT ALL. In this book, he shares his experiences and wisdom, taking us back to better times when most Americans could agree on basic truths like “Nazis are bad.” It gave me hope and peace. Highly recommended.

Three Story House by Courtney Miller Santo (3 stars) Finally got around to reading this Memphis-set novel about three cousins restoring a dilapidated riverfront house.

The Hidden Life of Trees: The Illustrated Edition by Peter Wohlleben (5 stars) My mom gave me this book for my birthday, and I LOVED IT. Lots of fascinating info about how trees communicate with each other, the life of a forest, symbiotic relationships with fungi, and much more. I expect to refer back to it, and think it would make a great botany text for homeschoolers.

Listening

On my drive to Nashville early in the month, I finally listened to The Chicks’ new album, which is as amazing as everyone says. This is my favorite track – just incredibly written. I wish I’d had it ten years ago.

Rachel Wilkerson Miller started a podcast! The second episode was about cults, and you know I’m always here for some cult analysis.

I discovered this month that Sarah and Beth of Pantsuit Politics have another podcast, The Nuanced Life. They had a good episode this week about pregnancy.

Watching

Debra has been trying all year to get me to watch Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, and I finally gave in! I only have an episode and a half left. It’s pretty great overall – the cast is wonderful.

My favorite show This Is Us returned this week, incorporating relevant pandemic and racism storylines without pulling ANY PUNCHES. I could not admire the writers and cast more – you know they did a lot of rewrites this summer. It’ll be interesting to see which shows embrace 2020 reality, and which go on in a sort of alternate timeline.

Adele’s episode of SNL was the best of the year, hands down. I’m excited for John Mulaney.

I didn’t know much about Judy Garland’s life until Taylor and I watched Judy. It was excellent, but really sad.

Other things I watched and liked: Becoming; Douglas with Hannah Gadsby.

Travel

I visited my sister in the Nashville area the first weekend of October. Taylor and I both strictly quarantined for two weeks beforehand so I could go. We hadn’t seen each other since February, and I hadn’t seen my BIL or nieces since the beginning of January. We went to a couple of parks and just enjoyed being together. It was like a break from the virus, getting to hug and be close to family without worrying.

I’d missed most of Debra’s pregnancy, so I was happy to get to feel my newest niece kick. She’s due in December.

“Around Town”

One weekend, Taylor and I stopped in to a (mostly deserted) industrial antique store downtown. Several of our old doorknobs need repair and I haven’t been sure where to find parts, but now I know where to go!

We’re still getting our sports in, setting up two screens if necessary. Our next-door neighbors, who are also Braves fans, watched a NLCS game with us in the backyard on the projector. Meanwhile, I was thrilled when the Tigers beat UCF for the first time in 30 years!! It still feels weird and sad to be close enough to the football games to hear them, but not actually there. Going in person just doesn’t feel worth the risk at this point. Plus, our gazebo is a lot warmer and more comfortable.

At Home

We have some truly epic mushrooms growing on and around one of our old oak trees. Thanks to The Hidden Life of Trees, I know to let them do their thing.

Taylor painted both the guest room and his office this month. No pictures yet because the rooms are still in disarray, but we went with a highly rated blue-gray, Sherwin-Williams Krypton. PSA that the tone of your trim makes a huge difference with this color. At first it skewed much bluer than I expected, but after Taylor took the trim from off-white to white, it had the more neutral tone we were going for.

Eating

We had our first (outdoor) restaurant date since Valentine’s Day at Tamboli’s! I had the “meat board” aka charcuterie pizza. I wanted to try the veggie pizza, but the veggies were all pre-marinated in a mix that includes red onions (which I’m allergic to).

I am basic and love Pumpkin Time, so I tried pumpkin oatmeal pancakes and also made more healthy pumpkin bread, as muffins in my beloved pumpkin cake pan (similar).

I also love a tortellini soup, and this recipe is healthily loaded with vegetables!

I’m suddenly into smoothies as a breakfast, dessert, or snack. Frozen dark sweet cherries are my favorite fruit to use (followed by mango and peaches). If it’s a dessert smoothie, I put in vanilla ice cream instead of yogurt (we love the single-serving Breyers cups).

Wearing

After much frustration with all the separate shipping costs on Poshmark, I placed my first ThredUp order and am really pleased. The prices are great, the listings are consistent, and shipping is flat rate. I got a couple of gussied-up J. Crew sweatshirts. The only drawback is that you can’t search, say, “rainbow sweater” like you can on Poshmark, so a lot more browsing is required.

Other than that, it’s just day pajamas and night pajamas around here. Next.

Beauty

My face exfoliator tool (the third or fourth I’ve purchased) died after only a few months. As usual, I tried to go on without one and noticed a negative difference in my skin within a week. Although the price made me cringe, I decided it was finally worth getting a real deal Dermapore. I kept the cheap knockoffs in the shower, but am not willing to risk it with this, so my process has changed. I invested in an exfoliating cleanser and wash with that in the shower prior to using the Dermapore. Then I use the tool over the bathroom sink, where I can keep rewetting my face. These extra steps mean I use it less often than before, but it still seems to be enough.

While I was splurging, I also got two bottles of Ouidad’s heat spray, which was 50% off. It really does make a difference.

My second Ipsy bag was extremely cool and Halloween-appropriate!

Wellness

Big news: we bought an elliptical! Since the gym reopened, I’ve been going solely to use the elliptical. Lately I’ve started to feel not great about it even with all the safety precautions. I did some research and put out feelers, and a friend of a friend happened to be selling her Sole E20 elliptical. It’s now set up in the guest room! We’ll likely rejoin our gym whenever all this is over (2022??), but in the meantime, I’m thankful to save the money while exercising safely and conveniently. I’m especially glad to have this option with winter coming. We might also get a rowing machine (since we got a great deal on the elliptical), but that’s still under discussion.

Random Happiness

My oldest niece and I are having a weekly Ramona Quimby, Age 8 book club over Zoom. I love it.

Taylor is selling a bunch of old Yankee Candle stuff and found this owl tart warmer. I immediately claimed it for myself.

My church has safely, successfully met in the parking lot for three weeks running. It might not work all fall and winter, but I’m thankful for however long we get.

Your Monthly Rufus

I’ve started taking Rufus for more lunchtime walks in his stroller. He loves it, and everyone we pass is entertained to see him.

On the Blog

I recapped #OneDayHH in a pandemic!

Good Reads

“One of the Worst, Strangest Years”: An NBA Season Like No Other

Chrissy Teigen wrote about her stillbirth. Have tissues ready.

How “Am I the Asshole?” Created a Medium Place on the Internet

your job application was rejected by a human, not a computer

On the Run: Finishing my First Half-Marathon

“Is my boyfriend a jerk or am I just Too Sensitive?”

American Tune

I Don’t Want Kids… and That’s Okay!

How are you preparing for Election Day/Month/Endless Nightmare?

Stay safe out there, everybody.

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Last Thursday was my seventh time participating in #OneDayHH. Led by one of my favorite podcaster/bloggers, Laura Tremaine, One Day is an annual fall Instagram challenge to capture a regular day in your life, hour by hour. Since I now have a public Instagram account for this blog, I was able to participate in the traditional way for the first time! But I also wanted to blog the whole thing as a story like usual (I didn’t post everything on Insta). I enjoy looking back on my days as a whole, especially since my life has changed so much over the last few years.

Fun fact: on last year’s edition (which was in November), we made an offer on the house we now live in. I didn’t feel like I could include such a big, stressful thing while it was in process… but in the background of the timeline of that day, we were talking numbers and sending paperwork back and forth. Crazy.

Fun fact 2: I’ve used the same Picmonkey filter for all my One Day blog posts. I like the consistency.

And now, the hopefully only of its kind… One Day in a Pandemic.

Past years: 2013 // 2014 // 2015 // 2016 // 2017 // 2018 // 2019

6:45 am: My alarm goes off. Since I exclusively work from home, I’m getting a lot of extra sleep, which is by far the best thing about the pandemic. On a gym day I get up about an hour earlier, which is still luxurious compared to what I was used to. At first I tried to get up at the earlier time and do yoga on non-gym days, but quickly lost motivation, even though I love yoga.

Anyway, I usually lay in bed for at least 15 more minutes looking at my phone. This video of a beaver building a dam in a house brings me joy.

7:05 (ish): Up and functioning.

7:15: Go downstairs to find Rufus. Give him lots of pets, follow him to the front door, and see a pile of junk mail I need to recycle. Put mail in the recycle bin. Give Rufus his first drink of the day.

7:20: Do my hair and my skincare. Current morning product lineup. About a year ago I splurged on a set of travel-sized Ouidad products and have noticed how much better my hair looks when I use their heat spray. So I bought two full-sized bottles recently when Ulta had them for half price (rare).

7:27: Check the forecast, since it’s still hot and it seems that should be, like, ending soon. Not today.

7:30: In the beforetimes, I absolutely had to be out the door by this time. I do not miss commuting. At all. It’s exciting that there’s a chance I may never have to commute five days a week again.

7:45: Coffee is ready and so is breakfast – the only meal Taylor and I consistently sit down to together. He cooks, usually a waffle and either eggs or bacon. Sometimes we have omelets. We like to watch the Today show, on a delay so we don’t get caught up in the 10 minutes of commercials at the top of the hour.

8:00: Workstation is ready. As I’ve mentioned before, I work in our upstairs sunroom, which is also my closet (#oldhousethings). The view and good light are unbeatable. I’m interested to see if working at bright windows, instead of in an interior cubicle, helps me with SAD this year. (We’re home at least through the end of 2020… after that, who knows.)

Taylor also works from home in our official “office” room. His job is permanently remote, and he has zoom meetings all day every day, whereas I usually only have a few per week. We’re very privileged to have our own spaces during this time.

8:10: Good-morning text from my sister.

8:15: Half of my planner spread for this week (and my daily meds). Haven’t made much progress on my minimal to-do lists lately.

9:00: I bought these cutoff-hem skinny jeans at Goodwill for three bucks, four score and several pounds ago (they were big at the time). They have become my lifeline in 2020. I’d wear them every day if I wasn’t terrified of them getting too worn out. I wish I could clone them. The brand is Stylus, which I’ve learned is a JC Penney brand they don’t make anymore. So far I’ve found one additional pair on Poshmark, which, despite being the exact same brand and style and a size up, are not as comfortable as these.

9:30: As usual, I can’t show much about my actual work, but I’m already knocking out a variety of tasks including doctoring a PowerPoint.

9:40: Take advantage of a pause to put something on my face. Some days I don’t wear makeup at all. When I have zoom meetings or an appointment, I usually stick to brows, eyeliner, and some sort of base. Today, because it’s a special occasion, I’m adding something slightly resembling an eye look!!

9:50: I frequently send good Timehops to friends and family. This is my favorite “before and after,” of me and my friend Wes at Cooper-Young Beerfest 2016. Enjoying good beer in big, happy crowds. Those were the days.

10:00: I hear the Roomba start up downstairs, which reminds me that it’s time to make the bed. This ritual ensures that I get up and move a little at some point before noon. (Miraculously, today the Roomba completes its entire cycle without getting stuck on anything.)

10:30: Mid-morning snack. Another 2020 lifeline: Extra Toasty Cheez-Its.

11:30: Shauna Niequist is raving about this apple cake recipe in her One Day posts, so of course I must go pin it immediately.

11:45: Heading downstairs. I got this basket at Target to corral our flip-flops that were all over the living area. It was a good investment. Also, my new Entertainment “Weekly” has arrived. (There’s no rhyme or reason to when our mail comes.)

I eat lunch in the backyard unless it’s raining or too cold. Having leftover spaghetti that Taylor made for me by request. It’s still good.

12:13 pm: I have something to do later, so I ate quickly and now it’s back to work.

1:30: Hot discussion in the group chat about John Piper’s article (sort of) condemning Trump. I feel like it’s too little too late, but at least he spoke up?

2:00: Taylor emerges from his office for Afternoon Hugs. I require periodic hugging throughout the day.

2:15: Going to the basement to get Rufus’s cat carrier. I realized I’ve never shared any pictures of this area. I mean, it’s a basement, but they’re not common in the South and I never thought I’d have one. This is just one section. I’m grateful for all the storage it provides.

2:30: Rufus has his annual checkup, pandemic-style! I have to stay in the car and listen to T. Swift while they take him in for a quick exam. The vet pronounces him “perfect” in both health and behavior. <3 On the way home I remember a few things I intended to ask her about, but forgot in the weirdness of the situation. Sigh.

2:50: Back at home, Rufus receives treats and settles into one of his favorite spots under the coffee table.

3:00: My brother calls for a quick catch up. He just went to Idaho for an elk hunt where he hiked 40+ miles in the wilderness and could have been trapped for days by bad, freezing weather. Typical situation for him.

4:00: The view of the backyard from the sunroom window. Taylor has worked hard for months to establish a lawn, and it’s finally taken off! The green makes everything look so much better. Hopefully what’s there will survive the winter, and then he’ll re-seed on top of that in spring.

4:15: Mid-afternoon snack. Dark chocolate cherry is my favorite KIND variety.

5:05: Leaving to go to training! Here’s a pic of our scarecrow. On the way, I listen to the first full episode of Rachel Wilkerson Miller’s new podcast, which I just found out about today!

5:15: In the car, I get a text from my friend Kelsey telling me about a nice elliptical her friend is selling. By the next morning we’ve arranged to buy it. Now we can cancel our gym membership and not have to take the risk of going there. I’m excited!

5:30: Weekly session with my trainer and friend Kara at her house. I’ve been working with her since June and am really glad to be doing so. Today I’m kind of on the struggle bus, but we get it done.

6:15: Taylor encouraged me to pick up something good for myself on the way home, and I know exactly what I need!!

6:40: Arriving home, I see my old filing cabinet ready for Facebook Marketplace porch pickup. My parents gave it to me for I think my 13th birthday (I was That Child who begged for office equipment). When we moved in January, I finally got a new one with more features that I need as an adult. Still, I’m sad to see the old one go. Thanks for the memories, filing cabinet. ** single tear emoji **

6:45: Eating my delicious fajita steak salad at the bar in the kitchen. Taylor is in the midst of a Breaking Bad rewatch, and its chaotic dark energy is too much for me in These Times, so I need to be somewhere I can’t see it. My current read is the debut novel by Doree Shafrir, co-host of the Forever 35 podcast. It’s good.

7:00: Taylor comes in to make cookies for us from one of those Duncan Hines bagged mixes. The dough doesn’t look right and we can’t figure out why. He adds more water. The result is a weird, flat (but still tasty) mess. Live and learn.

8:00: Last presidential debate. I’m yelling at the screen within two minutes. On Instagram, friends ask why I’m exposing myself and/or Rufus to this. Mainly because I just want to lay down for a while near my husband (who’s not bothered by All The Drama to the degree I am).

8:45: I tap out of the debate and give Rufus his bedtime treats. When we first started this routine, he understood the schedule, but now he meows for treats anytime we’re in this general area.

9:00: Upstairs for bedtime skincare, followed by my One Line a Day journal.

9:15: It probably does no good to abandon the debate if I’m still following it on Twitter.

9:30: I fall asleep with the light on. This is 41. Good night, everybody!

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Main Events

It’s been years since we had a September that felt at all fallish, so the nice temperatures this month have been a pleasant surprise! We decided to go ahead and embrace some fall decor. (I try not to let “being basic” stop me from enjoying things, and in 2020 that’s extra true.) Rufus had fun exploring our fall yard display that Taylor designed. As an orange cat, this is his time to shine.

Reading

Rachel Calof’s Story: Jewish Homesteader on the Northern Plains (4 stars) My mom got me this book on her recent trip to state parks in the Dakotas. It’s the diary of a woman who came from Russia for an arranged marriage to a North Dakota homesteader. They ended up having a great partnership, but despite her solid sense of humor, the things they endured were mind-blowing.

Happy & You Know It by Laura Hankin (4 stars) A novel of an almost-famous musician who becomes a singer to babies at an exclusive Manhattan playgroup. I read this in an afternoon and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Beach Read by Emily Henry (4 stars) Following her dad’s death, romance author January moves into a lake house he left her to write her next book and process some major family drama. Turns out her college rival Gus, a Serious Literary Writer, lives next door. After some initial bickering, they decide to spend the summer trying to write in each other’s genre. I liked this a lot.

A Tale of Two Kitties by Sofie Kelly (3 stars) I save my remaining unread Magical Cats books for when I really need the comfort and escape. This is #9 in the series and there are no Dickens influences, just the usual crime-solving with Kathleen, her two cats, and her colorful community. Two thoughts: 1. In real life, Dateline would have sent a correspondent to Mayville Heights by now to find out why people keep getting murdered. 2. Whenever Kathleen finally tells someone about the cats’ abilities, I hope they’re like “Okay, she’s one of us now” and lead her to some secret hideout where the other Wisteria Hill cats are holed up playing cards like gangsters and secretly running the whole town. #IfIWroteACozyMystery

Majesty by Katharine McGee (4 stars) The new sequel to American Royals, in which everyone does some growing up and realizes they might not really want the things they thought they wanted. I wasn’t expecting a lot of these turns, and I liked them. Zero sympathy for Daphne, though.

Rose in Three Quarter Time by Rachel McMillan (4 stars) This lovely romance between musicians in Vienna seemed like just what I needed, and it was. Moving on to the companion books shortly.

The Color of Life: A Journey toward Love and Racial Justice by Cara Meredith (3.5 stars) Read with my book club, this is a combination memoir and call to action. Cara’s husband is James Meredith, son of the senior James Meredith, civil rights icon and the first student to integrate Ole Miss. This book covers their love story and her awakening as a white woman to the depths of American racism.

Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer (4 stars) I was a Twihard in the aughts, didn’t go near the books for about ten years, and have returned for the retelling from Edward’s perspective. After it, I of course had to go back and skim-reread the rest of the series. I’m in a very different place in life than I was when I first loved it, so it was a whole new (but still fun) experience. I kind of want a Renesmee book now.

The Life Below by Alexandra Monir (3 stars) Sequel to The Final Six, this follows the chosen young astronauts on their voyage to Jupiter’s moon Europa, and former finalist Leo as he has an adventure of his own.

My Jewish Year: 18 Holidays, One Wondering Jew by Abigail Pogrebin (4.5 stars) I’m a quarter Jewish, and have been wanting to connect more with that heritage. This exploration of all the Jewish holidays by a formerly not-super-observant Jew was an interesting place to start. I recommend it for anyone who wants a better understanding of the Jewish calendar.

Listening

The Beths are back!

A couple of good podcast episodes:

Unlocking Us with Brené Brown // On My Mind: RBG, Surge Capacity, and Play as an Energy Source

Armchair Expert // Day 7 – I’d never listened to Dax Shepard’s podcast before, but a lot of people I know were talking about this episode. It’s brave and insightful.

Watching

I finished season 2 of The Umbrella Academy and liked it better than the first!

Having never seen the Great British Baking Show (I know), we watched the first new episode and liked it. Unfortunately, it gave me an overpowering urge to eat all the cake, so it should probably be only an occasional thing. I also tried a few episodes of The Home Edit, but rather than chill me out, it made me hyper to organize my already sorted, edited, and Kondo-ed closet area. I literally got out of bed at 11 pm to “donut” my bin of scarves. These types of programs are not great for my perfectionism recovery. Taking suggestions for a good bedtime show.

“Around Town”

Taylor and I and our moms look forward to the Central Gardens Home Tour all year. This year, of course, it was virtual and outdoors, but you could take selfies in front of featured houses and enter to win some good prizes. The map was basically a review of all the houses that have ever been on the Home Tour, so it was fun to reminisce about the ones we’ve seen.

I attended the virtual Soiree for Sudan (for Operation Broken Silence), and won Best Dressed in a Michael Kors wrap dress I bought for my brother’s rehearsal dinner almost four years ago. The prize was this swanky Anthropologie candle and a future styling session!

We got word that we’ll probably be WFH for the rest of 2020, so I made a trip up to the office to get a few things. I hadn’t been there since March 17. It was a surreal experience. I had to book a time to go, sign in and out, and of course distancing signs were everywhere. I walked all the way around my floor but didn’t see any colleagues. Coats were still hung on hooks, calendars (including mine) were still on March, it looked like everyone had just vanished. I mostly love working from home, but I actually miss going to work, in a tall shiny building, with my friends. What a time to be alive.

At home, we fired up the new projector and watched the first (and so far only) Tiger football game with some friends. It felt extremely weird not to be at the game, with the stadium so close that we can hear some of the announcements. I also had a gazebo night with Alanna and SIPster Kelly, who was in town visiting family.

Travel

On Labor Day weekend, we drove up to Hardy, Arkansas to kayak the Spring River with a group of friends. It was the best day – the happiest and free-est I’ve felt in a while. I really want my own kayak.

At Home

I painted our small downstairs half bath, which was previously a pale peach color found multiple other places in our house. I had previously tried Sherwin-Williams Sea Salt in my stuccoed sunroom and it didn’t work there, but I knew it would be perfect for this space! I added a new rug and hand towels from Tuesday Morning. The room feels fresher and more luxurious. Taylor recently painted over the peach color in the guest room too (no pictures yet because it’s not finished) and the white trim is now making more of an impact. I hadn’t even noticed we had massive fancy baseboards in there because it all sort of blended together.

I’ve been using a big parsons chair at my vanity, simply because it was what I had available. It took up a lot of space and didn’t fit under the desk. Last week I realized I could get something that actually worked, so I ordered this velvet stool from Wayfair and am very happy with it. I also finally finished painting the sunroom – there was a strip at the ceiling that I couldn’t reach without the big ladder. Being short-ish in an old house is frustrating.

Another row of surprise lilies popped up!

The traveling hammock Taylor gave me for our anniversary works between our trees in the backyard!

I bought this self-watering pot for violets back in the spring, and finally got a violet to put in it – and an indoor watering can for all its cousins! I got tired of spilling water all over the place.

I mentioned last month that we were having serious indoor humidity problems. My friend/Rufus’s godmother Stacy gave me a large box dehumidifier she didn’t need anymore, and between that and the lower humidity outside, things are much better.

I’ve been spending a lot of time puttering around the house “editing the space.” Removing things, stepping back to look at them, putting them back kind of stuff. It’s a task that requires a lot of time and mental freedom, so I’m glad to have both and be able to take care of it. Whenever this is all over, Taylor and I both hope to have the house just the way we want it and feel good about having lots of visitors.

Eating

We’ve been quarantining for the second half of September so I can visit my sister next weekend in Nashville. She has strict rules, including no takeout or fast food. So I’ve cooked even more this month than I already was. Here are some of the highlights. Fanciest dinner: grilled figs with prosciutto and burrata.

Some salads: classic chicken salad (which I enjoyed for several days); chicken stir-fry salad from the Simply Salads cookbook.

Healthy pumpkin bread (I had to have some and may bake another this week); Mediterranean quinoa bowls with roasted red pepper sauce (seriously, make this sauce immediately); stuffed peppers.

Not pictured here but worth sharing: crispy rice and egg bowl with ginger-scallion vinaigrette, and one of my old standbys, Zucchini Chicken.

Beauty

For my birthday, my sister started me off with an Ipsy subscription! Of all the makeup box services, this is the one I’ve been the most interested in trying. My first bag contained (among other things) a mini IT Cosmetics CC Cream and a Jonteblu black liquid eyeliner that’s easier to use than any I’ve tried. I need to purposefully sit down and play around with it, since I don’t wear makeup all the time anymore.

Wellness

Real talk: I am not doing great. Part of it is that the pre-visit quarantine has been hard. Over these pandemic months, Taylor and I have settled into a low level of risk that we can live with – being safe and considerate of others while still having some engagement with friends, family, and the outside world. Having to give up those things has caused a lot of tension and made everything seem more fraught, not just during the quarantine but also in the weeks leading up to it.

In addition, I’ve had unwanted confrontations with friends and family over my opinions, beliefs, and what I’m doing or not doing politically in this time of upheaval. This combined with being isolated has triggered lots of personal, relational, and spiritual baggage. Like many others, I also have ongoing cognitive dissonance from apparently living in a separate reality from a large chunk of America (and from other Christians). It’s reached a new level this morning after last night’s debate. I cannot believe how many people I’ve known and loved for years are either blithely both-sidesing this election, or still actually supporting an openly fascist white supremacist. I just… cannot.

Meanwhile (quarantinewhile?), I continue to balance disappointment over not being pregnant, with feeling like bringing a child into this burning-down world is the height of selfishness, with frustration that due to my age, we can’t just hold off until everything is better (if it ever is). No matter how the parenthood stuff pans out, I will be fine. But sometimes it’s a lot.

I also, from my extremely fortunate and privileged position, feel like this is never going to end. Like I’ll never go to a basketball game, sing in a church building, hug the people I love, or basically do anything normal ever again. Some days everything feels hopeless and pointless. I read a helpful Twitter thread by a doctor about “the 6-month wall.” Hopefully that’s all this is.

I have been journaling some, which helps. I’ve started a list of my core beliefs/concepts that have changed my life, and also a list of affirmations to tell myself. It’s both empowering and exhausting. I’ve thought about starting a blog series with the first list.

I currently can’t go to the gym or to my trainer, Kara, but I’ve been running, and doing modified workouts with a few weights we have at home. Once I resume my schedule, my new goal is to get to 100 pounds on deadlifts by the end of the year. (I haven’t told Kara this yet, so I’ll probably get a text shortly if she’s reading this!!)

Random Happiness

My scrappy little church celebrated its tenth birthday this month. On an unrelated note, our head pastor made a 30-minute video for the congregation about racism and protest, and I hosted one of the viewing and discussion groups. Only a few people came, but it was good. I’m really thankful to be at a church that’s making a stand for justice and compassion.

My friend Marie got married on Zoom! It was a beautiful backyard service and I got emotional not only about the wedding, but also about seeing many mutual friends near and far in the chat. I wish we all could have been together.

I got my first PSL of the season the day before I locked down. It was early, but my main rule is I can’t get it if it’s still 90 degrees, and it wasn’t. (PS, that’s my church building in the background. <3)

Like most American children, my 8-year-old niece can now host Zooms and share screens with ease. During a recent conference, she drew some pictures for me.

September is butterfly and hummingbird time! They’re starting to thin out, but it was happy while it lasted.

Your Monthly Rufus

Posing for the cover of Cat Interiors magazine.

Having never shown any previous interest in my bathroom floor, Rufus decided to help me with a deep clean by making himself a rolling, furry dust mop.

On the Blog

I wrote a few words for my church’s blog this month. Of course, they were about owls.

Good Reads

• What Does it Mean to Come Home?
• I Miss Having Ideas
• “I knew — and at his core, I think he knows as well — that the issue, in the end, wasn’t that he hadn’t raised someone who could think for herself. The issue was that he had, and she doesn’t agree with him.” I didn’t write this… but I really could have. Confessions of a Trump Supporter’s Daughter
• Fall Gifts
• How a Sean Feucht worship service convinced me I am no longer an evangelical
• The Writer’s Social Media Dilemma
• How do you write from land to friends on a sinking ship?
• How to Break the Cycle of Working Out and Then Being So Sore You Can’t Move

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Main Events

August: my birthday month! I had some Feelings about turning 41 this year. 40 was a big, somewhat empowering milestone. 41 is like, oh, I’m just in it now. In any case, with lots of help from Taylor, I managed to have a fun birthday despite our pandemic limitations. We invited a very few friends to the backyard for a socially distant party, including a surprise Zoom with family and lots of other friends. I made a pitcher of sangria and chocolate cherry cupcakes from the Cake Mix Doctor cookbook. (Most of which I ended up eating myself. Whoops.)

On my actual birthday, we went with my parents to Wapanocca Lake, about 30 minutes away in Arkansas. My mom and I are both birders and we’d heard it was a good place for that. However, we went in the early afternoon, which isn’t an especially great time to see birds. We did see turtles, frogs, butterflies, and one egret!

Back at home, Taylor’s parents joined us (in the backyard, again – we don’t have indoor guests) and we opened presents. Taylor gave me a dogwood tree! We have two ideas of where to plant it, and might get another tree for the second-place spot. For my birthday dinner, I requested my special-occasion meal from Slider Inn: a lobster roll and Jameson slushie. All in all, it was a much-needed happy weekend and I can’t think of much I would have changed even in normal times.

Reading

Emergency Contact by Mary H.K. Choi (5 stars) The deeper I sank into this book, the more I loved it. It’s about Penny, a troubled freshman writing student, and Sam, a troubled aspiring filmmaker who works at the coffee shop. If you liked Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl, read this immediately. It’s darker and has its own flavor, but all the same ingredients are there.

Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self by Danielle Evans (4 stars) A collection of short stories that I originally started reading for one of my book clubs, but at some point we gave up on it. My favorite story was “Snakes.”

Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again by Rachel Held Evans (5 stars) I’m finally reading RHE’s books. This one gave me hope and light. I think it was the final step in my journey to wanting to re-engage with the Bible (I just got a brand-new one).

Break the Fall by Jennifer Iacopelli (5 stars) Another YA/NA novel that exceeded my expectations, this one about Olympic gymnasts. I was hooked and cried at the end. It’s extremely Ripped from the Headlines – pair it with Athlete A on Netflix.

So Here’s the Thing…: Notes on Growing Up, Getting Older, and Trusting Your Gut by Alyssa Mastromonaco and Lauren Oyler (4.5 stars) I loved Alyssa Mastromonaco’s first book so much that I recently got my own copy, long after first reading it. While this one is a little more advicey, there are still plenty of funny anecdotes and stories.

American Royals by Katharine McGee (4 stars) A present-day alternate history in which George Washington was a king, not a President, and established a royal dynasty. It follows Beatrice, the future first Queen of America, under pressure from her parents to marry; Samantha, the spare, restless to do more with her life; Daphne, the climber with a secret; and Nina, friend of the royal family and secretly in love with Prince Jefferson. I enjoyed it and will definitely read the sequel coming out soon. Not to get too “you might also like” in this month’s reviews, but it sort of reminded me of the Luxe series by Anna Godbersen.

Shalom Sistas: Living Wholeheartedly in a Brokenhearted World by Osheta Moore (4.5 stars) This book has been on my TBR for a while, but my Year of Peace plus Osheta Moore’s anti-racism work prompted me to read it now. She explains the concept of shalom and how it’s played out in her life, from having to leave New Orleans after Katrina to coping with her son being called the n-word by a teacher. It’s personal and powerful.

Heart Talk: Poetic Wisdom for a Better Life by Cleo Wade (4 stars) I read through this slowly and thoughtfully, kind of like a devotional. I’m glad to have it around for future reference.

The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall (4.5 stars) A novel about two couples navigating life, ministry, and family together after the husbands are hired to be co-ministers of a NYC church in the 60s. For some reason (maybe the high praise from several favorite authors), I was ready for this book to change my life. It is beautifully and profoundly written, and I expect to sit with it for a while, but I had to knock off a half star because Lily so infuriated me for most of the book.

Emily Eternal by M.G. Wheaton (4 stars) I can’t speak for the validity of the science in this sci-fi novel, since I didn’t understand most of it. But the story of Emily, an artificial consciousness roped into a last-ditch effort to preserve humanity, is compelling. In this case, humanity needs saving because the sun has started to become a red giant (I’ve been horrified by this concept since third grade).

My birthday present to myself was a new Kindle Paperwhite! My old Kindle was an early basic model, and while it still works fine, I had several justifications for the upgrade (mainly the light – I live with someone 24/7 now and he doesn’t always want a light on). I’m excited.

Listening

I really enjoyed Taffy Brodesser-Akner on Gee Thanks, Just Bought It episode 39. She has some great insights about social media in our current times around minute 15.

Watching

I finished The Morning Show. The finale – the last scene alone – is worth the whole show. (I just watched it again!!) Every Emmy nomination is well deserved. I also just started the new season of The Umbrella Academy.

At Home

Sometime last month, I realized I needed a break from nonstop (minor) home improvement. I needed some free space between my main activities of working, and working on our house. While these projects generally drain me, Taylor is energized by them, so this month I sat back while he got a lot done. His main accomplishment was painting our backyard gazebo white and outfitting it with a projector screen and sunshades. Now we’re ready for Tiger football, however long it lasts! (We opted out of our season tickets. Not worth the risk and trouble. Still haven’t made a call on basketball.)

We got a small breakfast table for our butler pantry. I love it! The only thing I don’t love is that floor vent blowing freezing cold air on my legs. In winter, when it’s blowing heat and this is the sunniest room in the house, you’ll probably have to drag me away from this table.

Last spring, a bunch of lily-type foliage sprang up next to our driveway and in a few other places, but no flowers ever came. We figured it was just a bad year for… whatever it was. So we were extremely surprised this month by these surprise lilies! They were short-lived, but beautiful.

My sunporch plant collection is expanding. I’ve been able to divide a few of my succulents! I know there’s a more Pinterest-worthy way of arranging these shelves, I just haven’t felt like figuring it out yet.

A lot of my supplies (craft and other) were scattered in multiple locations by the time we moved here. My original goal for this house was to have all like things together, and to know where they were. Seems simple enough. Eight months later, I’m finally getting to the smaller stuff. I still have a long way to go. The combo of moving twice in six months, merging households in multiple steps, having been married before, and living in societal unrest has done a psychological number on me in this area. Part of me is too anxious to trust that this is really my long-term home with a long-term person and that nothing outside my control is going to take it from me. Fun.

On a lighter note, turns out humidity is a big problem in old houses. We got a dehumidifier for our bedroom and have to empty it every couple of days. Our shower bathroom feels damp all the time, no matter how long we run the vent fan, and in the other full bath, humidity seeps in around the door to the attic. I’ve been feeling a little desperate. After some research, I put a container of Damp Rid in each bathroom. Two containers and a refill bag cost all of ten bucks. The dampness improved almost immediately! I welcome any tips about dehumidifying, weather sealing, etc. Really the house needs a whole energy audit, and probably new/more insulation.

Eating

I’m hopeless at cooking rice, so discovering heat-and-eat rice packets has been LIFE CHANGING, especially with whole grain options available. I like the Target (Good & Gather) kind best.

A good thing to pair with that instant rice is this crispy sesame tofu that you can cook in the air fryer! It’s fast too.

I shopped at ALDI for the first time in five or six years. Our closest one is a little bit of a drive (Sprouts and TJ’s are even farther), but I’m fed up with our neighborhood Kroger and want to give them less of my business. ALDI has grown more polished and seems to have a better variety of staples at great prices. I was excited about the $1.99 goat cheese log ($4-$5 at Kroger) and the cheap bagged salad kits! PLEASE BRING ALDI TO MIDTOWN.

Other things I cooked and liked this month: broccoli pasta salad; lemon ricotta pancakes.

Wearing

After becoming obsessed with some cropped, distressed overalls Jenna Fischer wore on her Instagram, I somehow tracked them down at Nordstrom for $150 final sale. Nope. Then I found a similar slim cut pair at Old Navy for $27! They feel great. I planned to distress them, but doing that to brand-new clothes makes me nervous, so I’m going to live in them a little first.

In my continuing effort to hit the right “hot outside, cold inside” WFH wardrobe balance, I also ordered these lightweight joggers. They’re okay, but I still prefer the French terry version.

I miss thrift shopping. I’ve bought a few things on Poshmark (most recently a floral kimono), but it’s not the same.

Beauty

On recent birthdays I’ve treated myself to some higher-end beauty products. It helps me feel more like a grown-ass woman. Last year I got the Tartelette eyeshadow palette (which has been my favorite for everyday ever since), and this year I got Urban Decay Naked Petite Heat! Note that both are primarily matte shadows – I feel more comfortable in mattes now than sparkles. (However, my all-around happy fave remains the Colourpop Wet palette, which is full of 80s-worthy glittery blues.)

I also continue to explore lightweight foundations/CC creams. Early in the pandemic, I would go days without makeup, but at this point it often makes me feel better to put on a little something. One popular recommendation in the Forever 35 Facebook group is BareMinerals Complexion Rescue Tinted Hydrating Gel Cream. I added it to my birthday splurge. Sadly, I think it’s a little too hydrating for my oily skin – it makes me really shiny. Might be a better match in the winter.

Right as my Drunk Elephant night cream ran out, I saw a local Twitter friend raving about CeraVe Skin Renewing Night Cream. I’m using it around my eyes only, and I saw a difference by the next day!

I saw banana clips on a fashion blog (I think The Stripe?) and decided to throw it back to 1991 and get one myself. I forgot how fantastic they are for curly-haired people. It looks slightly fancier and more cascade-y than a ponytail and doesn’t give me a headache!

Wellness

I’ve been on the struggle bus this month. On the plus side, I’ve stuck to my new exercise regimen and am very happy with my continued training progress (I can squat 70 pounds, deadlift 80, do a few assisted pull-ups, and have upgraded to the bar for bench presses). But it’s become clear to me during this time that I need external motivation to do my best exercise. Not in a boot-camp sense, just in the sense that I need to go to a designated place, ideally with other people (exactly what we’re not supposed to be doing right now!!). Or I need to be training toward a goal, like a race (which isn’t happening right now!!). At home by myself, it’s too easy to fudge it, skip it, or give up. I’m sure a lot of people are horrified at me for going to the gym – elliptical only, all precautions taken, not stopping or passing go, 45 minutes and out. (My trainer trains one-on-one in her garage.) I’ve been thinking a lot about whether to just buy an elliptical. I’ve also considered a Peloton, solely because everyone I know who’s lost weight in the pandemic has one. But based on my dislike of stationary bikes in general, I suspect I might hate it, and that’s a lot to spend to hate something. It all goes back to my pandemic mantra: every option we have is bad; you just have to choose the bad option that works best for you.

Anyway, I found out last week that I’m at my highest weight in 14 years, which adds urgency to this whole dilemma. Thankfully no one in my life seems to have a problem with it but me. I’m trying to accept myself, tune out diet culture guilt and everyone who’s somehow Killing It in a freaking pandemic, and keep doing the best I can day to day.

Mentally, my fear and anxiety about this coming fall and winter – not to mention the present – has kicked into a higher gear. I know a lot of people can relate. I’m doing what I can to help anti-racism causes and get out the vote, but none of it feels like enough. I’m praying more and think I might start journaling again (privately) for the first time in years just to have somewhere safe to unload my unfiltered thoughts. I feel burdened to talk to family and friends who still don’t see the danger America is in (or don’t care), but I can’t even formulate words without hearing their rebuttals in my head. The Enneagram Six “inner committee” plus an environment of constant gaslighting equals call your therapist now.

Random Happiness

While I was out east visiting Alanna for her birthday, I remembered that it was about time for the Agricenter sunflowers to bloom, so I went over to check them out! Gorgeous.

I’m getting another niece in December! I got to be part of the balloon reveal via Zoom. I also got some fun mail from the girls, who are learning about sending and addressing mail. (Debra decided to homeschool them this year, and so far it’s working great for everyone.)

My MIL scored us one of the highly coveted official Grizzlies masks! (Eyes: aforementioned Colourpop Wet palette, lightly applied)

One of the attorneys I support stopped by with cupcakes and a note to commemorate (not really celebrate) 150 days of our department working from home. I miss my team. I also now have a desk plant thanks to this perfectly-sized pot of succulents Vada gave me for my birthday!

With a slight decline in local case numbers, my church decided to attempt our first masked, socially distant parking lot service! We’re going to continue every other week unless things take a bad turn. It was so nice to have some kind of in-person church again.

I’ve seen some pretty sunrises and moon/Venus combos on gym mornings.

A friend added me to a Facebook group for owl fans. It’s a nice wholesome pick-me-up! Our owls are still living a few houses down the street, but I hear them every day.

Your Monthly Rufus

Rufus has had a bad case of the zoomies all month. When he’s not sprinting around, he’s sleeping on the front-porch settee, and hasn’t been sleeping with us at night. I know he’ll come back when the weather cools off.

I do get some cuddles if I lay on the couch a certain way. He loves to stretch all the way out. He’s also the only cat I’ve had who actually watches TV (he was very into this show about the adventures of a kangaroo rat).

Good Reads

• Thanks for Nothing
• On My Body
• my older male coworker is obsessed with my weight and baby plans
• How to Help Someone Else Unbreak Their Heart: Accept That You Probably Can’t
• The Darkness That Is Covid-19
• Why Do Rom Coms Still Treat Turning 30 as a Death Sentence?
• Run For Your Life
• welcome the covid influencer
• I Had Mail.
• Getting Used to Things We Hadn’t Expected
• Why Did These YouTubers Give Away Their Son?

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Last week I started my day with this incredible almost-double rainbow, and I’m starting this post with it too, followed by our street’s famous arch of crepe myrtles in bloom! I hope to get more good pictures of the trees once MLGW removes all the cones and barriers from a recent project.

Reading

The Heir Affair by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan (5 stars) Sequel to The Royal We, one of my favorite novels of the last decade! These characters feel like old friends, and the intensity and juiciness of the plot was a great escape. Without saying too much, I also really related to one of the plot points. Love.

Tides by Betsy Cornwell (3 stars) This YA/New Adult selkie fairy tale had been on my TBR for several years. It was a quick and pleasant read, but a little too fanciful for me right now.

Native: Identity, Belonging, and Rediscovering God by Kaitlin B. Curtice (3.5 stars) Read with Sarah Bessey’s Field Notes community. These are Curtice’s insightful reflections on being an Indigenous woman in America and in Christian spaces. I highlighted many passages and now want to include more Native American perspective in my reading. I didn’t rank it higher only because I felt like it got a little repetitive.

A Second Blooming: Becoming the Women We Are Meant to Be by Susan Cushman et al. (3 stars) A looong time ago, I attended a couple of meetings of a group called Write Memphis. Turns out this collection of essays includes several writers connected with that group. The essays take a lot of angles on the topic of “second blooming” and some are excellent, but others were, strangely, more like anecdotes with a resume tacked on to the end.

Something Other than God: How I Passionately Sought Happiness and Accidentally Found It by Jennifer Fulwiler (3 stars) Back in the day, I was a fan of Jennifer Fulwiler’s blog, so her memoir has also been on my TBR for a long time. This is her story of coming to faith after being a lifelong atheist. It was okay, but kind of turned into an advertisement for Catholicism.

My Sergei: A Love Story by Ekaterina Gordeeva (5 stars) Spontaneous comfort reread of one of my all-time favorites! It’s been probably ten years since I last read it, and wow, do a lot of things hit different.

How We Fight For Our Lives by Saeed Jones (4 stars) Read with one of my book clubs. I heard lots of advance praise for this memoir about being a gay Black man in the South. It wasn’t quite what I expected, and tough to read in spots, but Jones is a great and arresting writer.

Dot Journaling: A Practical Guide: How to Start and Keep the Planner, To-Do List, and Diary That’ll Actually Help You Get Your Life Together by Rachel Wilkerson Miller (4 stars) This is exactly what it sounds like, and a great resource if you’re looking to start a journal/planner habit. I’m in the process of incorporating some of these ideas into my existing planner routine, rather than ditching everything to go full dot journal. More on this later.

Island Affair by Priscilla Oliveras (3 stars) The first of a series of romances set in the Keys (which is what caught my interest). When Sara’s boyfriend stands her up for an important family vacation in Key West, she recruits Luis, a local firefighter down on his luck, to pose as her boyfriend for the week. It’s a predictable plotline, but it has a lot of heart.

Chosen Ones by Veronica Roth (4.5 stars) I love the concept of what happens to young heroes after they defeat the villain. In this case, Sloan and her four hero counterparts, now adults, are struggling with fame, PTSD, and ennui. Then they find themselves in a weird parallel universe where The Dark One is still alive. I don’t read many series anymore because it’s such a commitment, but I will always make an exception for Veronica Roth. I think we would be friends, because something about her writing – like, the mechanics of it – satisfies my soul.

Listening

As you might expect of someone of my demographic, I got very excited about Taylor Swift’s folklore announcement and inhaled the album last Friday morning. I think it’s her best yet – invoking her classic songwriting while reflecting her major growth as an artist. This track was my first-impression favorite, though it was hard to choose!

I’m a little behind the new-releases curve since I’m rarely in the car anymore, so I just heard this recent Killers song. They remain so good year after year.

And if you need to feel happy for a few minutes:

Watching

July was an A-plus viewing month for me. Where to start?? We watched Hamilton: The Film the weekend it dropped. It was as amazing as ever, and I loved getting to see the whole original cast. I’ve barely dipped a toe into the abundance of Disney+, but I did finally watch Frozen 2 this week and am now obsessed. Like, “Into the Unknown” and “Show Yourself” are on repeat and now I’m watching the six-part making-of documentary. Warning, the documentary is just as emotional as the movie. The Frozen stories really tap into a lot of things that are close to people’s, and I think especially women’s, hearts.

The new Baby-Sitters Club series on Netflix exceeded my expectations! Somehow they brought the stories and spirit of the original books into the current day without losing anything. The changes and additions were spot on. All the casting was perfect, but since I’m the parents’ age now (yikes), I really liked all the parent choices, especially Alicia Silverstone as Kristy’s mom.

I Also Watch Television for Adults: I’m finally getting into The Morning Show and LOVING IT. What an all-star cast. I finished the current season of The Bold Type and wish I had someone to discuss it with, as every major character except Jane was acting extremely out of character by the finale. (Related: Aisha Dee’s statement about representation in the writers’ room.)

Films That Made Me Want to Burn It All Down: Athlete A, a Netflix documentary, recounts the breaking of the Larry Nassar scandal. It’s a searing reminder of the importance of good journalism and the rampant systemic abuses still happening in plain sight. (All USA Gymnastics had to do was fire one guy, but instead they knowingly allowed the sexual abuse of 500, that’s five hundred girls.) Meanwhile, Taylor and I watched two older Denzel movies I had never seen, John Q and Glory. One about the injustice of our healthcare system, the other about the first Black battalion in the Civil War hardly getting any respect for their sacrifice and bravery.

At Home

In the wee hours of July 4th, we heard a weird crashing/swooshing noise that we thought was coming from inside the house. After looking around and finding nothing amiss or broken, we went back to bed. Later in the day, we discovered a huge limb had fallen from our neighbor’s 150-year-old oak right onto our brand-new fence. A couple of mornings later, we thought we heard the noise again… and it was another limb that took out power to the neighbor’s house. Hashtag Midtown problems. Eventually a tree service came to fix the broken areas and clear the debris (I watched all day and it was very interesting), but the fence is still broken and under some branches. We’re working on it. I’m just glad they haven’t taken the whole tree down.

Since we moved in, we’ve been looking for the right antique table for our entryway (a spot previously occupied by an IKEA cabinet). We found this one at an estate sale. I felt unsure about its ornateness and boxiness, but loved it as soon as I saw it in the space!

I made it about four months in my new bathroom before a few of its aspects started to get on my nerves. The easiest one to change was this beige-and-black striped window shade (which, combined with candle sconces, created a French bistro vibe that is not my favorite). I ordered two yards of this Kate Rhees fabric on Spoonflower, trimmed and hemmed it all around to fit the window, sewed a loop at the top for a tension rod, and strategically draped the curtain over two more tension rods for a faux Roman shade. Although it was a fairly simple process, something went wrong at every step. Lots of sweat and tears… but now I feel happy when I look at my window.

We bought a new king bed and mattress when we moved into this house, including a recommended plasticky protective sheet to go over the mattress. I loathe the feeling of the fitted sheet sliding around on the plastic sheet every time I move. It got so bad that I dreaded being in my own bed, which is obviously unacceptable. Taylor’s search for solutions led us to these corner sheet holder straps. I still can’t figure out how to put them on, but Taylor can, and they actually work! They are loosening up a little after a couple of weeks, but it’s still a big improvement. Does anyone else have problems with this?

In the Garden

We still need to paint our greenhouse and replace a few more glass panes, but I decided not to wait any longer to plant plants in it. Most of these herbs and veggies had been sitting in pots on the side of the house since May. I took this picture a few weeks ago, and many of the plants are now double the size!

My first tomato of 2020 was, true to its name, an Early Girl. It deserved to be eaten in style, so I made a caprese (the basil was also from the garden).

I cooked a spaghetti squash, and, on a whim, planted some of the scooped-out seeds in an open spot in the greenhouse. This was the result a week later. Maybe I should have given them more space!!

In the front yard, we have thriving impatiens and azalea flowers! I have never, ever seen an azalea bloom in July before.

Eating

I am all about charcuterie boards this summer. Lunch or dinner. Please tell me about your favorite charcuterie items!!

Instead of the large flag cake I’ve always made for the 4th, for this weird year, I pared down to a strawberry shortcake with lemon biscuits. For all subsequent shortcakes after this one, I crumbled up the biscuit into a bowl and mixed in the fruit and whipped cream. Delicious.

My SIL cooked a killer spaghetti squash pad Thai when we were in Wyoming. I made a janky but good version of it this month, having failed to find some of the ingredients. Hot tip: you can cook spaghetti squash on the grill instead of turning the oven on. (Our June/July MLGW bill got me coming up with all kinds of energy-saving ideas!)

Some good can come from Facebook: I’m addicted to this salad recipe someone posted, which I refer to as “bougie salad.” Spring mix, burrata, fresh peaches, fresh basil, toasted pecans, and serrano peppers (I use banana peppers from the garden), with a balsamic vinaigrette. You’re welcome.

This new lime hard seltzer from Memphis Made is refreshing. It tastes like a watered-down margarita, which is not a bad thing in my book.

Other good things I cooked this month: BLT pasta salad and avocado cucumber salad.

Making

Since 2015 (when I did a whole post about it), I’ve used a Filofax Saffiano Personal planner. After reading Dot Journaling, I decided I didn’t need to ditch my whole system to benefit from some of the ideas. Example: having topical pages with all the information about one thing in one place (like my car service schedule, or Rufus’s grooming and medical history). I ordered new tabbed inserts to mark months, and some Filofax-brand financial pages and blank dot journal pages for regular notes. I also learned that my planner size is also referred to as A6, which brings up a lot more product options in a search.

Wearing

I didn’t have any sandals that met all of my summer work-from-home needs: supportive, secure on my foot, and not too precious to get a little wet or muddy. I need to be able to pop outside for a quick walk, or to water plants or pull a few weeds. So I ordered some Chacos! I loved the look of the Z2 style with the toe loop, but read that they can be uncomfortable for people with high arches, so I went with the Z1. I’m still breaking them in.

J. Crew Factory is still running a lot of good deals. I ordered a simple tank dress (haven’t worn it yet, other than trying it on when it arrived) and had to throw in these statement earrings too!

Beauty

When Taylor changed jobs in March, we had to spend or lose our FSA, and there weren’t many FSA-eligible items. As a result, we now have several years’ supply of high-end sunscreen. I’ve been impressed with the La Roche-Posay Anthelios Tone Correcting Face Primer Sunscreen SPF 50 I got for my face! It’s effective, and really does even out my skintone. I recommend it if you’re in a similar situation or just want to splurge.

Nowadays I skip makeup much of the time (which still blows my mind). When I do wear it, I usually stick to brows (NYX Tinted Brow Mascara is still my staple), eyeliner, and Cover Girl Matte BB Cream.

Wellness

I’m doing pretty well with my new exercise schedule: elliptical three mornings a week (very early – the elliptical area at my gym is big, open, and usually deserted) and… weight training! I’ve thought about working with a personal trainer for a while, so when a friend from church who’s a weightlifter got her certification, I decided to go for it. She has a full gym in her garage, only the two of us (and sometimes her cats :)) are there, and she wears a mask and cleans everything between clients. Right now I only go once a week, because I wanted to start out slow. I’m seeing improvement each time. This week I did (assisted) pull-ups and chin-ups for the first time in my life!! That was very encouraging.

Despite the regular exercise and being somewhat more mindful about my eating, I continue to struggle with my body. I never weigh myself, but more of my clothes are getting too tight. I can’t wear things that have fit since my 20s. I have a firm, stick-out belly that might be cute to me if I was still pregnant, which I am not. Hearing about many people losing weight in quarantine makes me frustrated and depressed – how are they doing it?? I know there are a lot of valid reasons for my body changing and I’m doing the best I can, but it’s upsetting. I also dread getting cut off from the gym again for coronareasons, making the situation even worse. So fun feeling pressure to worry about my looks during a multifaceted national crisis.

Random Happiness

I got my McAlister’s free tea day to go!

Taylor and I drove out to a field in Arkansas to look for Comet Neowise. We could see it easily with binoculars, and almost with the naked eye once we knew where to look! It was so cool (and kind of romantic). I didn’t even try to take a picture – I leave astro-photography to the pros.

I haven’t seen our owls up close in weeks – they’re moving around with the seasons, as animals do. But I hear them almost every day, so they’re not too far away. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in their absence, we’re getting daily visits from this handsome yard rabbit! I get extremely excited every time I see him/her.

My mom and I walked at Shelby Farms and saw a mom and baby deer in the middle of the day!

When I saw that Pier 1 is going out of business, I got one last Oceans candle – I had a giant one in my youth that lasted for years. It’s still a great smell. I also received a package from my friend Kelsey that included a “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” ZOX bracelet. <3

Happy but bittersweet: my church’s head pastor, Robbyn, retired from pastoring this month to change careers. While he was a great pastor, I think we all support this decision and are excited for his next chapter. We had a socially distanced, masked goodbye party on his porch, with everyone signing up for a time slot so only a few people were there at once. It felt great to see a few people in person! I’m very thankful my church is taking a cautious, behind-the-curve approach, but I really miss going.

Your Monthly Rufus

Remember when Rufus’s new address was Top of the Cable Box? Now it’s this laundry basket. When it got too hot to keep my throw blankets on the bed, I arranged them in the basket thinking it might be a nice spot for him. He climbed right in and now spends my entire workday and every night there. No more sleeping on mom. We move the basket into the bedroom at night so we can all still be together. Taylor joked that he was going to wake up and find me in the basket too.

Sometimes in the mornings, he leaves the laundry basket for a while in favor of the mail basket we keep under the mail slot.

He’s obsessed with this IKEA clock in my bathroom. The second hand confounds him.

He’s also had a little supervised playtime in the backyard.

On the Blog

I finally wrote about my second miscarriage, which happened in April.

Good Reads

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