First order of business: my new Christmas tree! I’ve had fake trees all my life, except for a couple of Christmases with my college and post-college roommate, Kathy, who grew up with real ones. My most recent fake tree was a Target base model. It was fine, but kind of short and not realistic-looking at all. This fall I started entertaining the idea of a pre-lit tree, because putting lights on the tree is not my forte. I found one I loved at Hobby Lobby, but was aghast at the $200 sale price. So I had given up, and was in the process of taking out my old tree, when I got a Bed Bath & Beyond circular with the exact same tree for $80 (plus 20% off coupon). I was out the door minutes later and snapped up the last one in stock. It’s 7.5 feet, pre-lit, and has little pinecones on it. I LOVE IT.

This larger tree is just perfect for this number of ornaments! I don’t like the tree to look too cluttery. Oh, and the old tree has found a happy new home at my brother’s apartment in Indiana. :)

Inspired by this P. Allen Smith wreath, I did a total overhaul of my fake Christmas wreath (it used to have poinsettias on it). Cost: $3 for the new ribbon. Turns out I have zero bow-tying skills – this was the best I could do after several demonstrations from one of my crafty co-workers.

I’m in a trifle-dish-centerpiece rut, but it’s just so easy! Both placemats are from Bed Bath & Beyond. I’ve looked everywhere for a nice table runner, and now have plans to make a copycat version of a Williams-Sonoma one I saw for next year.

This is the Nativity I grew up with. (My parents gave it to me after my dad bought a hand-carved set in Bethlehem. Seriously.) It’s a little rustic, but that seems appropriate. I also think it goes well under my Hope platter. :)

I feel like my mantel needs something extra (garlands?), but at the same time I like the plain look. The Lenox holly votive lamps were gifts. Fake amaryllis; tin vase borrowed from my parents. The cat stockings are from Target, and I found my beautiful velvet stocking for $2 last year at the Pottery Barn outlet. (I bought two as a statement of faith.) I want to get it embroidered with my name or a B.

By the time I bought the stockings, PB Outlet was out of the matching tree skirt. This year I decided that if I didn’t track down that tree skirt, I would regret it forever. So I found and bought one on eBay! It was definitely a splurge, but again, I plan to enjoy it for many years.

 

3 Comments + Posted in: christmas, domestic

Until I got divorced, I always saw job and career as a temporary thing.

I was raised in a very traditional home. Although my mom has a degree and could have chosen other things, she chose to stay home with me and my younger siblings. She got a part-time job once my brother was in school, but we were always her priority. My parents taught me that in a marriage, the man is responsible for providing financially no matter what it takes. The woman is responsible for taking care of the family. If the woman also works, it should be her own choice, only in a situation that’s good for the family as a whole, and not because she has to to keep things afloat. They encouraged me and my sister to get plenty of education and work experience, but mainly as a safety net… in case anything ever happened. In my mind, at least, “anything” was basically limited to a tragic accident leaving me a widow with kids. It never occurred to me that I might not marry or have kids. Or that my husband would walk out on me, with or without kids.

In any case, I was in agreement with the whole philosophy. Even now I don’t completely disagree with it (for myself – I don’t believe one size fits all, I’m not telling anyone else how to live. This is just my story). I also want to disclaim that I’m thankful for the way I was raised and the sacrifices my parents made so I could have a good childhood. I’m not pointing any fingers.

BUT. These core beliefs led to regrettable decisions. I knew I wanted to be a writer from a very young age, but even as a kid, I was also very concerned about security. Even then, I knew I probably couldn’t make a living writing, and relegated it to a permanent hobby. My parents encouraged me toward business-type career paths – jobs that would provide stability and a good income until I inevitably got married and started a family. In college I went down a couple of rabbit trails like meteorology and geography, but those didn’t pan out or were discouraged. I finally majored in Communications as a compromise – it was applicable to a lot of fields, many of them in business, but was also something I enjoyed. Still, I had no big picture, no long-term career goals. In a sense, I was afraid to have long-term career goals. I didn’t want to fall in love with something and then deeply resent my future children (or even my future husband) for tearing me away from it. So I had no motivation to think too hard about what to do for the rest of my life. As far as full-time work went, I thought “the rest of my life” would only encompass a few years. I wish the “Mistake Guy” from Scrubs had paid me a visit.

Ten years later, I’m still working at the first job that was offered to me after college. I’m very thankful for many aspects of this job, not least of which that it allowed me financial independence when the unthinkable “anything” happened. But if I’d had a whole world of options and a different mindset at 22, this isn’t what I would be doing. Lately I feel like I’m waking up from a lifelong sleep, like I’ve been unplugged from the Matrix and am seeing my real hands for the first time and wondering what they can do. It took me longer than most people to figure out who I am; who God made me to be, instead of what other people wanted me to be. So now the question is, what do I want in a career? What do I need? What did God make me to do? I’m wrestling with things I should have wrestled with a long time ago. I feel behind. I feel stuck. I regret lost time and choices that hinged on something I have very little control over.

I’m not sure how I feel about the concept of “calling.” I think it’s overused in Christian circles and usually results in more pressure than anything else, and more pressure is the last thing anyone needs. But, for lack of a better word, I want to pursue my callings and interests and continue developing in them for the rest of my life. Even if I do get to be a wife again, and then a mother, those callings won’t negate the ones I already have.

I believe that “having it all,” as society presents it to women, is a lie that hurts us rather than helps us. We can’t have it all, and we’ll kill ourselves trying. But we can be whole, well-rounded individuals at every stage of life. We may need to express our callings in different ways, but they’ll still be there.

My point is this: women, don’t wait to figure out and pursue what you love. Try different things and let yourself make some mistakes. Don’t be afraid to invest in your future. Don’t spend years running laps when you could have been clocking mileage in the marathon of your life. I wish I had taken that advice years ago. I wish I could take it fully now. I know it’s never too late to make changes, but there’s a lot more at stake than there used to be.

4 Comments + Posted in: career, reflections, womanhood

I’m participating again in Lauren‘s Wild on Wednesday! Here are some things I’m wild about this week:

I just got my first Shellac manicure last night. My mom gave me a Groupon for this mani-pedi for my birthday… in August. I have ridgy problem nails and was very hesitant to try the Shellac, but the owner and manicurist, Lauren, assured me that it wouldn’t damage my nails and might even help. Here’s hoping. The polish is supposed to last for up to a month without chipping. It was surreal to stick my hand under a light for a few seconds and instantly have totally dry, glass-smooth nails. Anyway, I recommend Graffiti Nail Bar – I was inspired by Lauren, who created and is running a successful salon by herself and is also developing a line of natural beauty products. Girls run the world!

The Talk. A few weeks ago, the TVs in my company’s exercise room reverted to basic cable (some problem with the digital box?), and I couldn’t watch my usual shows on the elliptical anymore. After several sessions of boredom, I found The Talk and haven’t looked back since. I remember I was annoyed by it when it started, but they’ve replaced a couple of the original hosts, and the new lineup is golden. Each of these ladies is smart, funny, cool, and interesting, and they treat each other with respect despite their very different viewpoints. I love it! And believe me, I’m surprised too.

Fiber One Chocolate Mocha bars. Forget about the whole fiber thing – these are totally addictive. I’ve eaten them for breakfast, snacks, and even dessert (they go well with hot chocolate). This flavor isn’t available everywhere, so when I find it, I usually buy several boxes!

3 Comments + Posted in: winter

Many of us who work office jobs this time of year can go days without seeing the sun. Especially if it’s constantly overcast, as it’s been here lately. It’s pretty depressing. (I don’t know how night-shift workers manage.) My sister and I often compare our situation to the Ray Bradbury short story “All Summer In a Day.” As in, “We’re on that planet where the sun comes out once every seven years.” We both read this story, and saw the movie version, sometime in late elementary school or early middle school – and were both scarred for life. It’s a brilliant story with excellent discussion points, but neither of us has ever gotten past the horror of only seeing the sun once every seven years. Or being kept from seeing it even then. I thought maybe we, as native Floridians and SAD sufferers, were oversensitive, but every time Debra mentions it to someone, they remember being upset by it too.

So readers: did you read or watch “All Summer In a Day” in school? Has it affected you long-term, or not? :)

By the way, I got a sun lamp last winter (on clearance at Walgreens) and it’s really helped me! I keep it on my desk and turn it on for about an hour a day during the dark months. With the lamp, I feel perkier and sleep better. I also heard that the FDA just increased the “safe” dosage of Vitamin D, but I don’t know the particulars yet.

6 Comments + Posted in: family, reading, winter

I can’t believe I haven’t posted this soup recipe here before, because it’s my favorite. I think I originally saw it on the Kraft or Campbell’s website. I can make it from memory. It’s my go-to dinner for last-minute company, because it’s fast and you can double or triple it with hardly any effort. It covers all the food groups. With a can of crescent rolls, it’s a respectable meal. Most importantly, it’s so delicious that I usually burn my mouth trying to eat it right out of the pot. This soup will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Italian Chicken Chowder
Serves 2-3.

Ingredients:
1/4 cup Italian salad dressing (I love the Kroger Zesty Italian that you can get for a dollar)
1/2 pound chicken breast, chopped
1 14.5-oz can stewed tomatoes, undrained
1 cup chicken broth
1 medium zucchini, chopped
1/2 cup elbow macaroni, uncooked
1 tsp dried basil leaves
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Directions:
1. Heat dressing in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add chicken and cook for 3 minutes, stirring once.

2. Add broth, stewed tomatoes with juices, zucchini, macaroni, and basil. Bring to a boil over high heat.

3. Reduce heat to medium and simmer for about 8 minutes, or until macaroni is tender. Ladle into bowls and sprinkle with shredded cheese.

Add a Comment + Posted in: food