A couple of weeks ago, TLC aired a show called Extreme Couponing. I missed the first airing, but saw so many violent reactions to it from friends that I set aside time to watch a rerun of it the next day. It profiled several serious couponers – two young middle-class wives, an older woman, and a thirtysomething man. Each person was shown at home, talking about their couponing philosophies, and then on an actual grocery shopping trip.
While I was impressed by the hundreds of dollars saved at the register, my main reaction to the show was sadness. Most of the participants seemed completely, unhealthily consumed with couponing – it’s not an exaggeration to say that they have made it their religion. One of the women was filmed passionately “witnessing” about couponing to neighbors, fellow shoppers, and random people she met on the street. One regularly took her young child dumpster diving for extra coupons. Another cheerfully admitted that she’s sacrificed a healthy marriage and social life to keep up with her couponing, and her husband’s resigned and frustrated reactions to it all were heartbreaking to me. Obviously, there are also serious hoarding elements; I think the man couponer said he had fifteen years’ worth of food and toiletries in his stockpile room, which used to be a garage. (Maybe he’s also a survivalist, but if so, he didn’t mention it.) It also seemed like a few people were driven to a financial and physical hoarding mindset by past poverty or job loss, but I’m not a psychologist.
I started couponing fairly seriously about two years ago. I have a small stockpile cabinet and a well-organized coupon file. I know what these people mean when they describe the thrill of watching your total go down at the end of a shopping trip – I understand how it could be addictive. I think couponing is a great and relatively low-effort way to save money, and I’m glad it’s available to us. But I don’t believe in couponing just so I can haul home truckloads of free stuff I don’t need and will probably never consume. (Waste is one of the things that bothers me most about extreme couponing. The man on the show said he frequently gives his extras to missions that his church supports, which is wonderful, but he was the only one.) I believe in rational couponing. No stockpiling for the apocalypse, no buying stuff I don’t already use. I find coupons for my usual grocery items, via newspapers and circulars that are easily available, and I try to buy enough during a sale to last me until the next sale. That’s it. It works for me.
In conclusion, I hope I never watch another show that includes the voiceover line, “Two hours into her checkout…”
Edited to add: The popular couponing site Southern Savers has a great response to the show.
4 Comments + Posted in: tv
It’s a SNOW DAY in Memphis… in spirit, if not in truth for all of us. My office is technically open, so I had to come in to avoid using a vacation day or taking unpaid time. Thus I am one of possibly 100 employees at work in the entire city. :P But I took some pretty pictures on the way in, and I get to leave early before the freezing rain starts!
My cats and I happily watched the snow fall last night. I’m considering letting them into the backyard to play in the snow, but I’m afraid they might catch a chill or try to run away (they’re strictly indoor cats). I don’t think they’d venture far from the door, though.
I saw snow for the first time when I was ten years old. I’m from South Florida, so up to that point, my only concept of snow was the stuffed white-sock “snowballs” we once used in a school Christmas play. Maybe that’s why snow is still so magical to me. I love the way it instantly beautifies everything and turns trees into pen-and-ink drawings. I love the glow it creates at night. I love the hush it casts over the world, making it so quiet that you can almost hear your own heartbeat. I love the excuse it provides to slow down and stay snuggled up at home with family. It’s wonderful!
I was blown away by this passage from my current read, When Life and Beliefs Collide by Carolyn Custis James:
A lot of women live with a subterranean sense that God doesn’t have a plan for them. If there is a plan at all, it is only temporary and quickly discarded when “someone” comes along with a real plan.
Single women with this point of view are waiting for the plan to commence. Until a husband arrives on the scene, they are on hold or must default to a second-class plan that is not nearly as good or meaningful as that of a married woman. Singleness is perceived by many in the church (including some singles) as a woman’s private purgatory – a suspended state of uncertain duration useful only as a bridge to marriage… The mistaken assumption that God uses the same plan for all women – to marry, conceive children, raise a family, and move on to grandmothering – is painful for women who fail to fit the profile at any given point. In the meantime, there is an unspoken consensus among Christians that what a single woman does with her life is an interim or makeshift plan – a way to mark time until she marries and the real plan begins. Such notions can lead to some rather half-hearted living.
A married woman faces a different problem when she believes the plan she’s on belongs to her husband. Her plan seems eclipsed by God’s plan for him. I’m afraid it’s true that many evangelical men see their wives as merely a supporting actress in his story, or as a spectator, alternately cheering him on or biting her nails as she waits to see where God will lead him next. She braces herself for his next big decision and the adjustments she will have to make. She invests herself in her children’s lives and watches them move on in God’s plan for them, but she doesn’t have a plan of her own… It’s hard to have a clear sense of purpose or calling if you’re convinced you are only tagging along.
Women who live on the other side of marriage because of death or divorce suffer from thinking the plan is over. Their grief over the termination of their marriage is compounded by the deadening sense that unless they remarry, any plan God had for their lives is spoiled for good.
God’s sovereignty puts women back on the map of life. It reminds us that God has a unique plan for each woman. We are called not to sit on the sidelines, but to be players, active contributors, to run the race he has marked out for us… We are not left in the wake of God’s plan for someone else. No matter how intertwined our lives become with the lives of husbands, friends, and family members, God’s plan for us is individual and personal.
Those who believe that God has a plan for them sometimes encounter another problem – the conviction that they have lost God’s best plan for them… But if God is sovereign, then Plan B is a myth. No matter how dark things look to us, or how big the mess we’re in, we’re in plan A. God’s plan for us is intact, proceeding exactly as he intended, neither behind nor ahead but right on schedule. Nothing – not our sins, failures, disappointments, bad decisions, nor the sins of others against us – can deter a sovereign God from accomplishing his purposes.
This passage touched me deeply because I am, or have been, all of these women. I’ve felt like a “supporting actress” all my life, believing that the only plans God had for me involved helping someone else. But over the past couple of years, God has really opened my eyes to the abilities and passions He’s given me, and I’ve been flooded with a longing for my own story. I greatly value the institution of marriage and hope to remarry eventually, but I know that I’ll never again be content simply to piggyback on someone else’s dreams. I also know now that that’s not what God wanted from me in the first place. Being a “helper” is great, but my desire is to do something that God created me specifically to do, to glorify Him in some way that no one else can. This piece tells me that He has the same desire for me, for all women, and that nothing can ruin that or stand in His way. I don’t know about you, but that’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time.
6 Comments + Posted in: quotes, reflections, womanhood
Here are some clothing items that I’m liking and/or looking for this season!
Once colder weather really set in, I realized that I had NO winter dresses. While layering a sweater over a light dress is fine and economical, I’d like to have something with longer sleeves. I was surprised to luck out at Forever 21, which apparently isn’t just for 80-pound teenagers anymore. I found two dresses there for under $15 each! Neither of them are on the website, and this isn’t one of them, but I would have grabbed it if I’d seen it in the store. (Forever 21 stores remain an organizer’s nightmare.)
Speaking of cardigans over lightweight dresses, I saw this complete outfit on a mannequin at The Limited and it was love at first sight. The website currently offers it as a (triple-digit) package that you can just add to your cart. Salt in my wounds!! If the dress wasn’t strapless, I’d probably give in right now.
I LOVE everything about this look. The colors, the sweater dress (although I wish it was a little longer), the stockings, the lace-up booties (which I wouldn’t have liked on their own). I should probably disclaim here that I became obsessed with Clueless style back in 1995, and a part of me has never fully moved on. Anyway, the dress is “on clearance” for $70 right now (at Victoria’s Secret – don’t judge), so I’m hoping to put together a cheaper version.
This picture from a recent issue of InStyle happened to be on the same page as the sweater dress picture in my “fashion inspiration” binder. I noticed that it has similar elements to that outfit – these booties are awesome (I love shearling). But I think I mostly clipped it for the bag. I wonder if JCPenney still has it?
Shoe-wise, I’m looking for a pair of gray pumps to complement the increasing amount of gray in my wardrobe. I personally think that flat gray leather tends to look old-lady, so I’d prefer a cozier winter material like wool or suede. These are Jessica Simpson (of course), in “Mary” and “Grace,” available at DSW. Still waiting for them to go on sale.
I’m also looking for some nice flat boots, partly because I’ve been living in knockoff Uggs in my off time and most of the fashion bloggers I read would be horrified. (I am not personally anti-Ugg, but I hear the shaming voices in my head whenever I put them on.) This style of boot is a little outside my comfort zone, so I need someone to go with me and make sure I don’t look dumb in them. But they’re widely available and not too expensive. Target has several cute styles for $30-$40, and my sister found some at Wal-Mart!
3 Comments + Posted in: fashion