A year or so ago, I wrote about my role models. That list holds strong and true. But if I rewrote it today, Dr. Brené Brown would be at the top. I’m going to Houston next month (her home base), and I checked her website to see if she was teaching a seminar or making a local appearance that weekend – anything where I could, even briefly, sit at her feet and under her tutelage. Sadly, she’ll be on a national tour with Oprah (NBD), but in any case I was forced to accept it: I’ve become a full-blown Brené Disciple.
Most people know Dr. Brown from her 2012 breakthrough Daring Greatly. The centerpiece of that book, and much of her work and research, is Theodore Roosevelt’s famous “Man In The Arena” speech. After marinating in and living out the Daring Greatly message for several years, she needed to hone in on that first part about failure, the falling down marred with sweat and blood. Because when we’re living bravely, we will fall down again and again. How do we keep getting up, and going back into the arena? This was the inspiration for her new book, Rising Strong.
Dr. Brown identifies three guideposts for rising strong: reckoning (identifying and owning our emotions after a fall); rumbling (digging through shame and fear to get to the truth); and revolution (what happens as this routine becomes ingrained in our lives). Taking a cue from Anne Lamott, she encourages creating “shitty first drafts” to help us express how we’re really perceiving a painful situation. This process takes courage, but could eliminate so much unnecessary stress in relationships and even within organizations.
Rising Strong could not have been more timely for me. Over the last few years, I’ve been working hard at daring greatly. It hasn’t happened by accident, and it’ll be a lifelong process. I’m more comfortable taking a variety of risks big and small. I care a little less about what other people think, or doing what’s expected. I’m committed to being real about my struggles even if it makes others think less of me. But I’m also experiencing some significant hurt, shame, and fear that I could have avoided by not stepping out. I’m learning what it feels like to have the ground taken out from under me repeatedly because I choose to keep entering the arena. To keep trying, hoping, and loving. I’ve seriously looked over at Daring Greatly in my bookcase and thought things like, “Well, now I’m beaten-down and tired and I don’t know how many more times I can get back up. What am I supposed to do with that?!?” Thankfully, my guru Brené was already on the case.
Rising Strong will be released on August 25. I plan to get a physical copy that I can mark up to my heart’s content. I suggest you do the same!
Recommended for: EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
I received this book free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Add a Comment + Posted in: book reviews, empowerment
I spent last week in the Florida Keys for my family’s annual lobster-diving pilgrimage. We typically wait until the regular lobster season is underway, but this year we went for the two-day mini-season that precedes it by a few weeks. (If you’re unfamiliar with Florida lobstering, check out my brief overview from a few years ago.) This year our crew consisted of me, my parents and brother, both of my paternal uncles and aunts, our friend Dale who’s basically family, and my cousin Cliff and his wife and kids.
The first day of diving was a ten-hour affair, starting before sunrise. Out of a possible 72, we caught 49 lobster, which is nothing to sneeze at, but anything below limit is considered shameful when you’re a Wilkerson. Overheard after three straight lobsterless hours: “Okay, I have an idea… but we’d need someone to stand guard with a spear gun.”
I’ve never been a prolific lobster diver, because I have trouble equalizing my ears and getting down to the seafloor without burning up all my oxygen. I leave the bulk of the work to the guys, which is fine with them. But after a lifetime of snorkeling and diving, I tried a weight belt on this trip, and it was a game changer. Suddenly I could sink and stay down without overexerting myself. I was so thrilled, I totally ignored the usual pain and pressure in my ears. By the end of the day, I couldn’t hear at all out of my right ear, and my dad insisted I go to the ER because he thought my eardrum had burst. Thankfully, before I paid my hefty copay, a nurse heard me describing my symptoms and assured me that all I had was water trapped in my middle ear. After I came home, I got some antibiotics and it’s gotten mostly better on its own. God bless you, nurse at Fisherman’s Community Hospital of Marathon.
My mom and I opted out of the second day of lobstering to go on a tourist snorkeling boat! We snorkeled at a couple of locations, including Coffins Patch, a protected area with the best reef I’ve seen since I was a kid. The fish came right up to me!
Mask face is the sign of a good time!!!
We spent some time poolside at the hotel and saw a few iguanas. One of them was at least five feet long and a truly majestic creature. I took at least twenty pictures of him.
In the afternoon, my mom and I headed to Key West, with a brief detour on Big Pine Key to see Key deer. We were on our way out after no deer encounters when we spotted a fawn in someone’s yard. I jumped out of the car to get close to it, and was so entranced I didn’t even see its mother crossing the street. She nursed it a few feet from where I was standing. (The deer are totally protected there, so they’re very tame.) It was amazing!
I’ve been to Key West before, but it had been years and I didn’t remember much about it. We quickly hit up the beach and Southernmost Point.
Then it was on to Mallory Square for dinner, key lime mojitos, and the sunset.
As you may have heard, Key West has its share of weirdness. Among other things, there’s a park with artistically-placed busts of all the founders of Key West (or, as I excitedly called it, “a bunch of heads!”), and The Cat Man. About halfway through his act, we got too concerned about the overall welfare of the cats to keep watching. I mean, I don’t know too many cats willing to walk tightropes and jump through flaming hoops on command.
Back in Marathon on Friday, my family fulfilled a long-held goal of snorkeling at Sombrero! It was amazing. Photos taken by Kevin with his GoPro:
We ended our trip with lunch at Burdines, one of my favorite places in the world! You can’t beat the view, the food, or the fried key lime pie. As usual, I ordered the slider platter that includes a chicken florentine burger and a shrimpburger. My dad also bought me a koozie, so I can think fondly of Burdines while enjoying a brew on my patio at home.
It was a good time with extended family, and dare I say, much more vacationlike than most of our lobstering trips. I love the Keys!
2 Comments + Posted in: family, florida, ocean
General Highlights:
In July, two of my best friends threw me a wonderful housewarming party. We had a great turnout, great food, and great sangria. I felt happy and loved!
The Fourth is my favorite holiday. This year I was excited to go to the “parade” in my new neighborhood, since I’ve never lived in a neighborhood that had one. In the evening, I watched fireworks from a downtown rooftop with a great group of friends.
On the 3rd, I ran the Stars & Stripes 5K for the first time. It started and ended at Tiger Lane, so I couldn’t say no. It’s been almost a year now since I ran my first entire 5K, and although I still wish I was faster, I’ve shaved four minutes off my time without working very hard at it. Very encouraging!!
My sister and nieces visited for a week. Fifoo, Debra, and I had a sleepover at my place, and we and our mom took both girls to the Children’s Museum and to a friend’s pool. Baby E also met my friend Caroline’s son, who was born in the same month. (We had previously introduced them over Skype.) Aunthood is the best.
Reading:
Unsurprisingly, my book count goes way up when I stick to fun fiction and memoirs instead of trying to enrich myself with heavy stuff. I figured summer is a good enough excuse to imbibe all the YA I want. My favorite book of July was Erin Bow’s The Scorpion Rules.
Music:
From the first listen, I’ve been obsessed with San Fermin’s “Jackrabbit”:
Also, Paper Towns is the best soundtrack since Garden State. Yeah, that’s a bold statement and I stand behind it.
Travel:
I went to Miami and the Keys for my family’s annual lobster pilgrimage. More on that later.
Around Town:
One Sunday afternoon, I locked myself out of my house while hanging up some outdoor lights. My mom came over with the spare key, and we ended up walking to Cooper-Young and watching the US women win the World Cup at Young Avenue Deli with a huge crowd of people. It was exactly the kind of evening I used to imagine when I thought about moving to Midtown. I still feel so lucky every day to live where I do.
Another Sunday, I biked all through and around Overton Park. Sadly, it was my last neighborhood ride for a while – as you know if you follow me on any social media, my bike was stolen off my patio last weekend while I was in Florida. I loved that bike, have made many happy memories with it over the last five years, and was looking forward to many more. Hopefully I’ll be able to get a new one before the Midnight Bike Classic at the end of the month, but I’m still grieving my old bike.
My partners in crime and I attended a Paint Nite at Fox & Hound. I’ve been to several painting places over the years, but I think this was more relaxing and fun than an actual painting studio!
At Home:
On the rare evening the temperature’s dipped below 90 degrees, I’ve enjoyed my new outdoor patio lights. Inside, I had an original print I bought in Wynwood in Miami custom framed at Art Center. It was worth the trouble and expense!
Cooking/Eating:
When it’s this hot, the seared ahi tuna salad from Local rocks my world.
Random Happiness:
At my housewarming party, Alanna had everyone write notes for me on paint chips and hide them around the house. I think I’ve found most of them. My two favorite notes: meaningful Counting Crows lyrics, and Kelsey and Claudia’s two-parter with the theme song to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Because you never need a reason for Will Smith.
Oh and: I BOOKED A TRIP TO ICELAND!!!! Much more to come in time.
Pinterest Quote of the Month:
On The Blog:
I posted about my garden and my copycat recipe for Babalu’s veggie tacos. Don’t give up on me… someday I will write something of substance again. There are several posts bouncing around in my head, but I can never focus and quiet myself long enough to sit down and write them. Is it possible to develop ADD suddenly at almost-36?
Posts I Loved:
♥ Best post I read in July: Hannah Brencher (as usual), Drop The Mic and Go Find Sarah.
♥ The Washington Post launched Solo-ish about a month ago, and I’m loving it! It’s a fresh take on all kinds of topics affecting singles.
♥ Ed Cyzewski: If There’s a Slippery Slope, Jesus May Be Leading Us Down It
♥ Angie at My So-Called Chaos: My Heart’s Too Big For My Own Body
♥ Loved this charming story from Amy Peterson: A Love Note From Juanita’s
♥ Mandy Hale aka The Single Woman: Why I’m Still Single: The Ugly Truth. Preach.
♥ Added to my Year of Enough board: Oh Heck Yeah, You ARE Worth a Lot!!!! by Kerry Smith. (PS: Kerry was one of my campus ministers in college and is a wonderful person.)
8 Comments + Posted in: what i'm into
A few hundred years in the future, as global climate change leads to increasing shortages, war wipes out most of the population that hasn’t already died from lack of viable water. In desperation, the United Nations appoints an AI, Talis, to find a way to save what’s left of humankind. His solution: nuke a series of major cities to get everyone’s attention, then take over the world and keep the peace himself. His strategy: make war personal by taking a hostage child from each world leader while they’re age five to eighteen. If any leader declares war, their child’s life is forfeit.
Greta Gustafsen Stuart, Duchess of Halifax and Crown Princess of the Pan-Polar Confederation, has grown up in one of these Preceptures, with the heirs of the world’s kingdoms and confederacies as her de facto family. She works and studies hard, flies under the radar, and tries to be realistic about her chances of surviving to her eighteenth birthday. Then Elian, a new hostage from a newly formed nation, arrives at the Precepture kicking and screaming. His nation borders Greta’s, and she knows immediately that their countries are going to war; both of them are going to die; and she’s not ready to die before she’s ever really lived.
So many books have claimed to be the next Hunger Games. The Scorpion Rules really is, in its own way. It’s not exactly dystopia; there’s no rebellion, and Talis is the most likable, entertaining robot overlord ever, like a Terminator created by Joss Whedon. But it’s suspenseful, disturbing, pulls no punches, and takes the road less traveled by at every fork. There is a love triangle, but it’s not the kind you’re used to, and really it’s part of a big love pentagon which I found pretty understandable under the circumstances (and which doesn’t drive the plot).
In addition to being a novelist, Erin Bow is also a physicist, and it shows. The science in this book seems pretty solid. I hadn’t read any of her work before, but I’m on board for more of her nuanced, darkly hopeful writing. The Scorpion Rules is one of my top 10 fiction books of 2015, no question. I stayed up way too late reading it several nights in a row, and in fact, I’m already in the mood to read it again.
Recommended for: Anyone who likes to read and isn’t freaked out by what I described in this review
I received this book free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Lucky me!!
5 Comments + Posted in: book reviews
Over the last year or so, my cooking mojo has dwindled to almost nothing. Living in Midtown makes it even easier to go out with friends (someone’s running a special every night) or grab something on the run. When I do eat at home, it’s usually a salad or an omelet, something I can throw together with minimal effort. However, I still get occasional flashes of inspiration. Such was the case last week when I tried the veggie tacos at Babalu and thought, I must replicate these at home ASAP. It was easy to do. I took note of the ingredients listed on the menu and Googled a recipe for chipotle dressing. It’s not a perfect translation of the tacos, but the results were delicious. Here’s what I did:
Copycat Babalu Veggie Tacos
Serves 4.
Taco Ingredients:
1 pack small corn tortillas (blue if you can find them)
2 zucchini
2 yellow squash
1 container of mushrooms
4-5 radishes
Small bunch arugula or spring mix
1 cup corn (I forgot this)
½ red onion (unless you’re allergic, like me)
1 block cotija cheese
Chipotle Vinaigrette Ingredients: (from here – this makes a LOT of dressing)
1 ½ cups canola oil or other salad oil (not olive oil)
½ cup red wine vinegar
1/3 cup honey
1 ½ chipotle peppers in adobo sauce (I couldn’t find these, and substituted another jarred hot pepper)
2 tsp dried oregano
2 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
Directions:
1. Slice the zucchini and squash in half. Brush them with olive oil and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and a little oregano. Grill skin-side down until browned.
2. Slice the mushrooms and radishes (and red onion, if using). Sauté in olive oil until they look cooked. Add the corn during the last couple of minutes.
3. Combine the dressing ingredients, except for the oil, in a blender or Magic Bullet. Add the oil gradually. Or totally forget that dressings are supposed to be emulsified and blend everything at once. It’ll still taste good.
4. Retrieve the squash from the grill and slice it up. Grate the cheese. Heat the tortillas.
5. Combine all the veggies in a large bowl.
6. Assemble the tacos: dressing on the tortilla, then the grilled veggies, then some arugula. Sprinkle grated cheese on top. Yay!