Don't Stop Believing

Oct

Confession: I found my tattoo on Pinterest.

As my friend Melody said, it could have been “the biggest Pinterest Fail ever.” It wasn’t.

I saw the picture about two years ago, a nautilus tattoo on the inner side of a woman’s heel. The caption grabbed my attention: “The nautilus shell consists of ever-larger chambers in which the sea creature lives for a while until it outgrows them. Once it grows a new, larger chamber it cannot go back to the previous ones; they no longer fit. It has no choice but to move on. Yet, the old chambers are still a part of who they are.” I liked that so much that, even though I was sure I could never commit to having one image on my body for the rest of my life, I pinned the picture. Once in a while I’d go back and look at it.

Over the course of this year, my Year of Alive, I’ve warmed up to the idea of a tattoo. I can’t articulate all the reasons why – it just seemed like a natural next step. Still, I doubted I would ever actually do it. So permanent! But at the end of August in the Keys, I discovered that my aunt (previously ink-free, like most of my family) had gotten a large cross tattoo on her shoulder blade. As I talked to her about it, I suddenly knew I wanted to take the plunge too – and I knew when and where I wanted to do it. From the bow of a boat, several miles off the Seven Mile Bridge, I texted Bethany, “Crazy idea: do you know of any good tattoo parlors in Hawaii?” She replied, “I HAD THE SAME CRAZY IDEA.”

During the few weeks between Miami and Hawaii, I played devil’s advocate with myself about the tattoo. But the more I thought (and prayed!) about the meanings of the nautilus, the more sure I was that I should get it. As I’ve mentioned before, my “life verse” is Philippians 1:6: Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. I chose this verse, or it chose me, when I was eighteen. (There’s a stepping stone in my parents’ backyard with “Philippians 1:6” pressed into it as proof.) Through all life’s changes since then, no Bible verse has been more applicable. More often than not, I feel like I’m falling behind, losing ground in faith and as a person. My progress is never good enough for me. But this verse reminds me every day that God is on the case and will never give up working on and in me in this life. Onward and upward. It hit me one day as I drove to work that the nautilus shell is the perfect symbol of that concept. It’s also a symbol of the strength and independence I’ve gained, a reminder that I don’t have to and in fact cannot force myself back into chambers I’ve outgrown. I will continue to need new, bigger chambers until the day I die, and it’s a good thing.

Plus, you know. The ocean.

In Oahu, we stayed on a Marine base. I was counting on Bethany’s Marine friends to recommend a good tattoo place, and the group consensus was 808 Tattoo in Kaneohe. On the last day of the trip (planned so I wouldn’t miss any swimming time), I called to make an appointment and no one called me back for hours. Then I was sure I wanted to go through with it, because I was so bummed that it might not happen. I knew if I went home without this tattoo, I would never get it. Who gets a shell tattoo in Memphis? It wouldn’t make sense. This was meant to be part of my Hawaii experience.

Thankfully, they were able to work me in that evening. Originally Bethany and I were going to get inked together (she already has one piece, a purple bird on her foot), but she left her sketches at home. I was still glad to have her there as my advisor and moral support. When we arrived at 808, I showed my artist the picture I’d saved from Pinterest and he printed a stencil. I felt a little dumb for wanting the exact same tattoo in the exact same place, but all the nuances worked for me. I wanted it on my left foot, not my right… because in marching band you lead with your left foot, and I will always be a marcher in my heart (dorky but true). And I wanted the end of the shell facing up, not down, for the same general reasons you hang a horseshoe upside down. It seemed more positive.

The actual work only took ten or fifteen minutes. I’d been warned that this part of the foot (and the foot in general) is one of the most painful places to get a tattoo, and I won’t lie: IT HURT. I may or may not have been repeating Eowyn’s “I fear neither death nor pain” in my head. But I also won’t lie: I felt like a badass. I didn’t cry, I didn’t make a lot of noise, and I only sort of crushed Bethany’s hand. And when it was over, I had exactly what I had wanted for a long time!

“NOT A JOKE!” I advised on Instagram.

I’ve been home for two weeks, and I’m loving my tattoo more and more. I am so happy I did it. In addition to all the reminders I chose it for, I’m finding that it also reminds me who I am. When I hang up a frustrating call at work, for example, I glance at the shell and it seems to tell me, This does not define you. You may be compliant on the outside, but you are tough, and your spirit is still free.

People are already asking me if I plan to get more ink, the same way they ask if I’m going to get another second cat. In both cases, my answer is the same. I have no current intentions to do so, but I won’t absolutely rule it out.

10 Comments + Posted in: milestone, one word 365

Oct

Book Review: Whatever Life Throws at You by Julie Cross

I loved Julie Cross’s Tempest trilogy, a time-travel story with heart. Her follow-up, the standalone Whatever Life Throws at You, is contemporary and non-supernatural but boasts the same type of likable characters – rough and tough on the outside, marshmallows on the inside.

When Annie Lucas’s dad gets a job offer as a pitching coach for the Kansas City Royals, she practically forces him to take it. To Annie, getting both of them (and her ailing grandma) away from her flighty, usually-absent mother is worth any upheaval to her own life. On her first day in Kansas City, she has a meet-cute with Jason Brody, the wunderkind pitcher her dad is there to champion. Despite his womanizing ways and checkered past, she still feels drawn to him. But as they get to know each other (against everyone’s advice), that public image starts to fall apart. He starts playing up to his potential. The Royals start winning for the first time in decades.

Meanwhile, Annie deals with a lot of drama on the homefront – her own as well as that of her friend Lenny, daughter of one of the Royals’ star players. I appreciated the depiction of real, complex family problems instead of obvious Afterschool Special stuff.

I don’t know much about the behind-the-scenes environment in professional sports, but the PR crises and day-to-day lives of the players, staff, and their families in this book felt very believable. I also love the fact that life is currently imitating art with the Royals’ playoff run (Julie addressed this on her blog yesterday).

Whatever Life Throws at You was released yesterday and is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

Recommended for fans of: baseball, good father-daughter stories, Veronica Mars (there are similar qualities)

I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Add a Comment + Posted in: book reviews

Oct

LOST Driving Tour of Oahu

Until I got to Hawaii, it didn’t occur to me that I could take a tour of locations where LOST was filmed. By then, my friends and I were already booked. Besides, one tour claimed to visit 22 locations in two hours, and after only a few days on Oahu I knew that to be impossible. But we were already planning to drive around most of the island one day, and several of the stops on our list turned out to be LOST places! However, note that not all of the following places were on the show.

I’ve seen a few LOST reruns, but haven’t done a full rewatch since it ended in 2010. Luckily, Caroline, another of my best friends, just finished one. So I texted her photos throughout the day, and after squeeing, she’d remind me exactly what happened there. Teamwork!

We drove down from Kaneohe to our first stop, Lana’i Lookout, on the southeast side of the island. These beautiful cliffs are barricaded at the top by a short wall and “DO NOT GO PAST THIS POINT” sign, over which everyone climbed happily. Also blocking the way was a man with a parrot. The parrot’s name was Jackie Chan, and he has been in two movies. I know this because his owner repeated it to each of us individually and tried to extort $5 for photos. But with such an amazing view, who cared? Oh, and this is where Desmond killed Kelvin after he came out of the Hatch.

The Halona Blow Hole, while absolutely gorgeous, didn’t quite live up to its advertised wave action. Or, as we put it, “That blow hole kind of blew.”

Turning the southeast corner of the island, we stopped at Makapu’u Lookout, because how could you not?

After a stop for sushi back in Kaneohe, we proceeded to Chinaman’s Hat. This little island was on my own list of things to see and I was very excited!

On our way up the North Shore, we drove past Kualoa Ranch, a very popular LOST location. But it’s private property and we didn’t have time to take the tour.

Here’s Banzai Pipeline, one of the most famous and dangerous surfing beaches in the world. I have to assume that it was an unnaturally calm day there.

Our next big stop was Waimea Falls, which is inside a large botanic garden where many movies have been filmed (including Catching Fire). On LOST, Kate and Sawyer found some bodies here, and it’s also where she and Hurley “landed” on The Island after the second plane crash.

The garden itself was beautiful. We had to walk about a mile through it to get to the falls.

Aside: Bethany and I were also planning to jump off a famous cliff at Waimea Beach. Honestly, neither of us particularly love jumping from high places, but it seemed like a YOLO Hawaii must-do. While Google Mapping us there, I read a review that began, “Be sure to jump at high tide. Jumped at low tide, shattered my tibia and fibula.” The story continued for a while, concluding with, “Still a great experience. Would jump again.” Despite that encouragement, being unsure of the tidal situation, we decided to cross that activity off the list.

After the falls, we stopped in Haleiwa at the famous Matsumoto Shaved Ice.

THEN we headed to Mokuleia Beach, aka THE CRASH BEACH from the pilot! I’m pretty sure we were down the beach from the actual filming site, but it was still very recognizable. And breathtaking.

We stayed until the sun set. On the way back, we pulled into Camp Erdman, a working YMCA camp that doubled as The Others’ village. Bethany and I totally geeked out over the familiar yellow cabins. Unfortunately, it was dark, kids were going to actual camp activities, and my water shoes had blistered my feet so badly that I couldn’t put them back on to sneak around the premises. Still, just seeing the camp from the van was very satisfying.

And that was our DIY LOST tour of Oahu!

7 Comments + Posted in: travel, tv

Oct

September 2014 Book List

artist unknown

I Love the 80s by Megan Crane (4 stars)
Since Jenna’s fiance dumped her, she’s coped by indulging her obsession with the 80s – not hard to do, since she works at an all-80s music channel. Her greatest passion is rock icon Tommy Seer, who died mysteriously in 1987. While changing a light bulb during a lightning storm, she’s magically transported back to several months before Tommy’s death, and into the life of her aunt Jen, who worked at the same music video channel. After playing a role in one of the band’s most famous moments, Jenna finds herself involved in Tommy’s life and decides to try to save it. Needless to say, this novel requires total suspension of disbelief, but it’s a lot of fun.

Whatever Life Throws At You by Julie Cross (4 stars)
Downloaded from Netgalley. Review to come later.

I Remember Nothing: And Other Reflections by Nora Ephron (4 stars)
I saw this collection of essays on my library’s Kindle site and decided it was past time to start reading Nora Ephron. She’s a writer’s writer with lots of interesting stories and insights!

Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without A Date by Katie Heaney (4 stars)
In this hilarious, wise, and honest memoir, Katie Heaney shares her romantic history or lack thereof – from her kindergarten crush to the last guy to break her heart. Anyone who’s been single for a long time should love it!

Turn Around Bright Eyes: The Rituals of Love & Karaoke by Rob Sheffield (4 stars)
In Love Is A Mix Tape, Rob Sheffield told the story of his young marriage and the sudden loss of his wife. In this new memoir, he tells how he found a new love – and karaoke. It’s kind of rambly, but I enjoy his ramblings!

The Geography of You and Me by Jennifer E. Smith (4 stars)
When Lucy and Owen meet in an elevator during the NYC blackout, their chemistry is obvious immediately. But after knowing each other only a short time, they both move away in opposite directions. Though they communicate only through sporadic postcards and try to move on with their lives, they can’t seem to forget about each other. This novel is a little disjointed and longer than it needs to be, but it’s heartfelt, and I give it 4 stars purely for emotional reasons.

The Best of Us by Sarah Pekkanen (2.5 stars)
A novel about four women who accept a college friend’s invitation to vacation together at a beach house in Jamaica. All of them, including the host, are hiding secrets that start coming out in unexpected ways. It’s very soapy with lots of plot twists. I’m a Pekkanen fan, but this was my least favorite of her books. (Though it has similar themes to Outer Banks by Anne Rivers Siddons, which to me is the epitome of good soap.)

Unbreak My Heart by Melissa C. Walker (3 stars)
Clementine is spending her sixteenth summer on a boat with her parents and sister, sailing down the Mississippi River. So she has plenty of time to think about her recent estrangement from her best friend and how everything went wrong. When she meets James, also sailing with his dad, his friendliness and cheer starts breaking down the walls she’s built around herself. This is a cute story with a unique setting, but for some reason I wasn’t in love with it.

Books for September: 8
2014 year to date: 54

1 Comment + Posted in: book reviews

Sep

What I’m Into: September

General Highlights:

Sorry to start off all Debbie Downer, but September brought serious lowlights. On the 3rd, when I took my beloved cat Gandalf to the vet for what I thought was a minor problem, I found out he had cancer. It was advanced enough that I had him put down, at home, on the 15th. It was my worst emotional whiplash since my divorce. Adjusting to life without Gandalf after twelve years will take a long time, but with lots of love from my friends and family (and the continued company of my other cat, Peach), I’m doing okay. Right in the middle of all that, I also found out that one of my good friends from college had died suddenly. She moved away years ago and we hadn’t been in close touch, but obviously I was shocked, upset, and so sad for her family.

In happier news, I spent Labor Day with my two college roommates/BFFs, Kathy and Emily. Em lives near Nashville, so it’s rare for the three of us to be together at once, let alone with their husbands and all their kids too.

Oh, and I went to Hawaii – and got a tattoo! But more about that later!!

Read and Reading:

My favorite book this month was Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without A Date by Katie Heaney, at which I LOLed repeatedly on a plane. I also enjoyed Megan Crane’s time travel romp I Love the 80s, and Rob Sheffield’s latest music commentary memoir thing, Turn Around Bright Eyes. (His first memoir, Love Is A Mix Tape, is still one of the most poignant, unique books I’ve ever read.)

TV/Movies:

I’m rejoicing at the return of my current fave, The Mindy Project! And not just because Mindy and Danny are together now (where is my own Danny Castellano??). This cast is one of the best ensembles on TV, and every character is hilarious… though Morgan has a special place in my heart (I busted up at his “Dog Fair” from last week’s episode). I still love New Girl too, but Mindy has surpassed it.

As usual, I don’t have time for a lot of new shows, but I want to watch A to Z (The Mother is in it!) and Red Band Society.

Music:

This month I saw one of those “If you like this, listen to this” columns in a magazine. It indicated that British singer Banks was an artist I would like, so I checked her out on Spotify. By the next morning her new album Goddess was on a loop in my car. I tried to pick a favorite track to recommend and could only narrow down to, like, five. She’s everything I hated to like about Lana Del Rey, but with more talent and depth, and enough independence that you’re not distracted by worry that she’ll end up in a ditch somewhere.

I’ve been listening to The Bridges steadily all year, but haven’t given them any press here. The Bridges are five cousins and siblings from Alabama and North Carolina, and they have a truly unique (and awesome) sound. Their only full-length album, Limits of the Sky, is kind of folky and retro. Then they took a grittier rock turn for their EP, Our Monster, which I like even better. It sounds like it was actually recorded in a garage… in the best possible way. Love love love.

Also, after realizing I already liked three of the songs, I finally purchased a Fall Out Boy album. Fall Out Boy has grown on me stealthily. I don’t know why I fought it.

Wearing:

I swung by Cooper-Young Fest a few weeks ago and scored a “When You’re Bad, You Get Put In The Corner” shirt from Memphis Made! I’d wanted one for a long time. #ilovememphis

I didn’t shop much in Hawaii, but we hit up a thrift store in Kailua (Bethany is the thrifting queen), where I found this Gap polka dot skirt. I asked Bethany if it was too young because I’m trying to dress a little more my age, and a lady nearby piped up, “Never do that!” She looked about 65 and was clearly taking her own advice!! Anyway, the skirt is totally me and makes me happy.

Random Happiness:

I got to spend a lot of time with Kathy in September. Normally the bulk of our togetherness happens during basketball season, but this month I went to her birthday party, we had that reunion at her house, and she came over several times to see Gandalf (he used to be her cat too) and me.

I attended a two-day new members class at the church I’ve been attending for several months. I still need to work out a couple of things, but I can pretty much join any time now and am excited about it! This is the first time I’ve mentioned my church change on the blog, but now that most of my friends from my old church are in the loop, I’ll be sharing more about the “move.” It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was the right one.

At work, I got a new computer after being six months overdue for a switch. My old one was basically a paperweight. It’s so refreshing to have a computer that takes less than five minutes to shut down.

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