Main Events
June has been a doozy. To start off, we celebrated C3’s first birthday with a Rookie of the Year party in the backyard! Lots of friends came to celebrate, and C3 had fun. I decided it was also an event to celebrate us and the fact that we kept a human alive and thriving for an entire year. I still can’t believe he’s 1. More C3 updates later in the post.
The day after C3’s birthday party, my mom left for Miami because my grandfather had fallen at home and broken most of his ribs. This was in addition to the existing situations of my cousin Diana and my grandmother both being on hospice. Sadly, Diana passed on June 13, and by the time this posts I’ll be on my way to her funeral. My grandma is also in her final days – as in, I hope she hangs in long enough for me and my sister to see her this weekend. My grandfather is recovering in a rehab facility and seems in fairly good spirits, so at least there’s that. In summary, this has been a hard month for my family and my mom in particular. I do not know how she’s holding it together.
With my parents away indefinitely, our already complicated childcare arrangement got even more difficult. We had been told there might be a spot for C3 at our top choice daycare for the fall, but found out he didn’t get in, which rules out that school for another year. Our other waitlists weren’t moving either. We hired a new part-time babysitter just for the summer, and my MIL was filling in the other days. Then the babysitter took off a week to work a VBS. Then last weekend she had a covid exposure and told us she wouldn’t be returning until July. I arranged for another babysitter, who didn’t show up. At that point Taylor started cold-calling every childcare facility in the area. As a result, I could not be more relieved to report that after a year of daily stress and struggle, C3 HAS A DAYCARE and will be starting next week! We really liked the vibe of the place and are hoping this will work for a while. I cannot express how heavy this burden has been, or the difference reliable, consistent childcare will make in our family life. It never should have been this hard. What a pro-life nation we live in though, right?!?
On a much happier note, in the midst of everything, my brother and SIL welcomed a long-awaited baby girl this month! She is beautiful, and I just want to fly up there and snuggle my new niece. This concludes the triad of cousins born within an 18-month period.
Finally, Taylor and I are celebrating our third wedding anniversary this week. I feel like we’ve been through A LOT in three years. Global pandemic, ongoing national upheaval, massive inflation, three job changes, two moves, two miscarriages, home renovations, one successful pregnancy and birth, first year of parenthood. And a partridge in a pear tree. Thankful we’re still hanging in.
Reading
I Came All This Way to Meet You: Writing Myself Home by Jami Attenberg (3.5 stars) An interestingly structured memoir that’s mostly about writing, but also growing up and becoming yourself.
The Testaments by Margaret Atwood (4 stars) Apparently a lot of people thought this Handmaid’s Tale sequel was too pedestrian, but I really liked it. It’s told from three viewpoints, one of which is Aunt Lydia’s.
The Office BFFs: Tales of The Office from Two Best Friends Who Were There by Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey (4 stars) A fun, entertaining memoir with a lot of stories that have also been told on the Office Ladies podcast.
Book Lovers by Emily Henry (4 stars) At this point I would read Emily Henry’s take on the phone book. Her latest is about a literary agent spending the summer in a small Southern town.
Moms Don’t Have Time to Have Kids: A Timeless Anthology, ed. Zibby Owens (3 stars) Read this on the beach and felt meh about it. I think I need to stop reading these types of anthologies, because the sameness of the essays makes me feel like everyone was just writing for the sake of having something published in an anthology. (Not that I’m judging. I’d do it.)
These Precious Days: Essays by Ann Patchett (4 stars) This was my first real exposure to Ann Patchett, and I enjoyed it. I loved everything about running the bookstore (Parnassus Books in Nashville) and about what she’s done during the pandemic.
Travel
Early in the month, my good friend Kara and I took a short Moms Getaway to Destin. It was our first time away from our babies (other than a few nights C3 has spent at my parents’ house). We spent a couple of days on the beach, and took a dolphin cruise. We’d like to make it an annual event and bring more friends. Though we probably won’t come back to Destin in June, because the seaweed/algae was absolutely unreal. It was almost too much FOR ME. We made a few attempts to swim out to a patch of clear water offshore, but kept getting stung by something and turning back. Still, any ocean is better than no ocean in my book.
Taylor and I had long planned an anniversary trip to New York, but when the time came, we didn’t have enough coverage to care for C3. We considered taking him with us, but ultimately decided his schedule at this age would make it too stressful. I’m still catching myself making plans for New York and then remembering I am not going anytime soon. It was a big disappointment in an already difficult month.
Around Town
Since our childcare situation has been so bonkers, I just took the PTO I had allotted for the New York trip and had a Mommy & Me staycation instead. C3 and I went to a friend’s pool (he continues to love the water) and romped around Crosstown with Alanna and her son. We all had fun.
At Home
C3’s party was the deadline for at least six months of backyard renovation. Taylor and my dad built a deck and privacy trellis off the gazebo, and a small deck at the back door. (The latter was mostly for safety as the previous back steps were really hazardous.) The newly sodded lawn is also thriving. We got a larger patio table for the gazebo expansion and hope to host some dinners out there.
Taylor built a cage for my tomato plants, but somehow, jerky squirrels are still getting in. They have so far stolen 3 Better Boy and 4 Roma tomatoes that were just about to ripen. At least the grape tomatoes are coming in at a steady pace. My pepper plants in the greenhouse were almost demolished by some sort of pest, but appear to be recovering. Taylor got me a small blueberry bush that’s also in the greenhouse. I have a couple of cucumbers on the vine, and so far, once again, no zucchini. We’ll see how the summer unfolds.
Eating
I enjoy nothing more than a bougie salad in summer, but I gave them up when ingredients like prosciutto and fresh mozzarella got so expensive. This month I felt so down that I decided the joy of a good salad was worth the cost. I will probably continue indulging. This one has the aforementioned ingredients plus arugula, cantaloupe, basil, and balsamic vinaigrette.
Wearing
All Memphis area Goodwills now close at 6 pm, which has seriously impacted my ability to shop for clothes. Happily, I got a few free hours to go one Saturday. I was looking for funeral attire, but instead scored an epic haul of tops and jeans, including this Banana Republic peplum top. (I later found an appropriate dress on clearance at Nordstrom Rack.) I also had to shop for shorts this month, since the stack I set aside last summer still doesn’t fit. Nordstrom Rack and TJ Maxx had me covered there too. I used to consider those places still a little expensive, but now that I’ve considered some of these brands (Lucky Brand, Democracy) at full price, I’m like OMG WHAT A DEAL. I also tried on some of the Madewell shorts everyone raves about. I keep getting sucked in by the Madewell cult and then remembering that their stuff just doesn’t work on me.
Random Happiness
Since before C3 was born, I’ve wanted this quote from Light from Other Stars lettered for his room. I had planned to do it myself, but am sick of my own lettering. So I commissioned it from Pied Paper Goods and am so pleased! I plan to order from her again in the future! <3
We have so many hydrangeas blooming that I’ve been able to cut a few each week for my office!
I had to get this Peanuts coffee when I saw it at TJ Maxx. They had a few other kinds, too. It was a gamble, but the coffee itself was actually pretty good.
Baby Update
C3 loves to go to the store these days. He sits high in the cart and smiles at everyone. People come to fuss over him. It’s very cute. Here he is at Costco.
This month he had a brief obsession with the red parrot from his jumperoo, to the extent that he even wanted to bring it on our walk.
C3 has become very mobile very fast. I wasn’t ready!! He is now crawling briskly all over the house (favorite target – cat dishes, as seen above) and pulling up to stand with increasing confidence. I think he’ll be walking by the end of next month! He clearly loves being able to explore and get where he wants to go. This week we had our first game of “chase” around and around the upstairs. <3 With these new developments come sleep problems. He’s never been a great sleeper, but between all these new activities and either Taylor or I traveling more, he’s extra restless and clingy. We’ve had a few awful nights. This week has been better, but I always know a regression could hit at any moment. *wavy-face emoji* He babbles in baby sounds all day, but still isn’t saying actual words, aside from the occasional “uh-oh.” A lot of our family members were late talkers, so I’m not concerned yet. He’s communicating and that’s the most important thing.
I wanted to write a whole post about C3 turning one, but didn’t have the capacity. It’s probably for the best. In summary, I love him with all that I have and am so glad he’s here, but this year has been hard. There are a lot of things that I wish had gone differently. I feel depleted and am rarely satisfied with my performance as a mom. On the other hand, I’ve always known that the baby years would not be my finest. I think I’m better suited to be a mom to an older kid. If this is the worst it gets, then overall I’m killing it.
Your Monthly Rufus
Floof on a floof.
Good Words
This prayer arrived in Sarah Bessey’s newsletter and is the best thing I have to share in these tumultuous times.
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Main Events
This month, on my first Mother’s Day, we had C3’s baby dedication at church! (I would also have been fine with a baby baptism – I don’t feel super strongly either way – but my church takes the dedication route, so that’s what we did.) I had imagined this moment for most of my adult life. C3 wore Taylor’s christening gown from when he was a baby. There was a short ceremony and he was formally presented to the congregation. <3
My sister and nieces were in attendance, and we got some good family pics.
Reading
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood (re-read) (4 stars) It’s a good time to revisit Gilead… even though I had to stop watching the show after a few episodes because it was too much for me. I just got The Testaments from the library while everything is still fresh.
No Cure for Being Human: And Other Truths I Need to Hear by Kate Bowler (4.5 stars) I expected this to be more instructive than Bowler’s previous Everything Happens for a Reason, so it was a pleasant surprise to find it personal and memoirish. She’s just great.
The Storyteller by Dave Grohl (5 stars) I enjoyed this SO MUCH. Someone recently told me that the audiobook is even better. Dave is a good and interesting guy. I already felt sad for him about Taylor Hawkins’ death, but after reading this, the loss feels even more tragic.
In a New York Minute by Kate Spencer (4 stars) Fun romcom about an interior designer who is helped out of an embarrassing situation by a handsome stranger on the subway. An onlooker makes them Internet famous, and hijinks ensue.
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab (3.5 stars) I desperately needed a refresher on boundaries. This book is accurate and well-written, but didn’t personally help me that much, because many of the solutions have already been tried. Definitely check it out if you need help in this area though.
Listening
This is a banger, and I enjoy it extra knowing it would have been my ANTHEM at other points in my life. This is for you, 22-year-old me.
I’m only halfway through the Maintenance Phase episode about calories, but it’s living up to the hype and has made me LOL several times.
Watching
I really haven’t had time to watch anything, other than This Is Us and Better Call Saul. The last couple of This Is Us episodes were beautiful. I guess I have to find a new favorite show now! :\
Around Town
As previously mentioned, we had covid for the first time in the back half of April. I came out of quar ready to party!! I’ve been feeling unproductive, but as I look back on May, I see it’s because I’ve been doing more living than I have in years. First, I went to the last night of Beale Street Music Fest with Ashley. I haven’t seen her much in these times and was happy to be reunited. We saw Modest Mouse, Counting Crows, and Weezer.
Just a couple of days later, I had dinner at Venice Kitchen with friends for Ashley’s birthday! I finally ordered the stuffed shells, and they’ll be my go-to from now on.
For her Mother’s Day present, I took my mom to the immersive Van Gogh exhibit. C3 joined us. It was a beautiful and calming experience for all! I impulse-bought a print of Starry Night Over the Rhone (my favorite part of the show) and have hung it in the bedroom.
Of course, May was also dominated by the playoffs. Taylor and I took turns attending games so someone would be home with C3. The Grizzlies lost the conference semifinals to the Warriors in 6 games. It was an excessively dramatic series, including members of Grizz Twitter getting actual death threats from Warriors fans. Getting heated about the playoffs is part of the fun, but the level of hostility from their fanbase was way over the line. I really hope not to repeat this matchup next postseason. While I of course hoped we would go further, I was a little relieved to be done with the late tipoffs and free up more of my limited energy.
Debra and the girls were in town again for the annual Cooper-Young Garden Walk! We didn’t cover a ton of ground, but it was fun. A friend’s house was on the walk and we got to visit with her rabbit! He looks just like my family’s beloved Bun whom we had for eight years.
Greek Fest was back in full force this year. I went with Kathy, her sister, and our friend MaryElaine. We got caught in the rain and bought Opa! tote bags to put over our heads for the long walk back to the car.
Finally, our friends Daniel and Sara got married at the Botanic Garden last weekend. The beautiful ceremony was followed by one of the most fun receptions I’ve been to, including baby goats!! I had a fantastic time. It was the first wedding I’ve been to since Ashley’s wedding on New Year’s Eve 2019. Whew.
At Home
I can’t say I’ve ever redecorated a room without intending to, but it happened this month. First I decided that at this time, we need a duvet cover that’s not plain white. (The laundry was killing me.) We agreed on this duvet cover from Target. A few days later, our bed broke… not for the first time. It had been supported underneath by milk crates basically since we got it. For Taylor it was the last straw, so we made a (hopefully) long-term investment in a Thuma bed. After one night in the new bed, the back pain I’ve had for C3’s entire life disappeared! (Important lesson: sometimes the problem isn’t you!!) To help support the bed, we also got a rug. At this point I still hadn’t taken the new duvet out of the package and was worried it would now be too much with the rug, but I think it works. I rounded everything out with some new throw pillow covers. And there you go. The accidental bedroom remodel.
We lowered C3’s crib, just in the nick of time because he’s starting to pull up on things! I also completed the herculean task of sorting all the hand-me-down baby clothes we’ve received. It took forever, but size transitions should be easy from now on.
May is one of the prettiest months in our yard. Here we have our late-bloomer azalea, which flowers after all the others are done (I feel a kinship); one of our many beautiful oak leaf hydrangeas; and a stunning coral begonia that I happened upon at Home Depot. Seriously, if you have a shady yard, they are the flower that keeps on giving.
We’re enjoying the new lawn that Taylor and my dad sodded a couple of months ago. That was only the beginning of the backyard improvements. They’ve built a deck off the gazebo, and this week a lattice privacy wall is going up, as well as a small deck right off the back door. Our back steps are a little hazardous even for adults, so I’m thankful to make the area safer before C3 is walking. I’ll do a big reveal of the yard next month!
Wellness
I did my 50th ride on the Peloton! My overall stats this month were meh, but it felt good to hit that milestone. I’ve been doing more 30-minute rides and feeling okay (yes, my Peloton progress has been very slow), so I think my new goal is three 30-minute rides a week. That gets me closer to my pre-everything cardio routine of 40 minutes three times a week. We’ll see how feasible that is. Last week I managed exactly one ride because too much was going on. I could write a whoooole lot right now about my schedule, exercise, and feelings about my body. In the end, I’m choosing to value my life balance and mental health at least equally to fitness and weight loss. I still think that’s a good decision, even though it feels bad to be celebrating my baby’s first birthday still in my postpartum bod.
On a mental health note, this month has been difficult. I know I’m not alone. If you’re an American with good mental health right now, are you even paying attention?? I am grief-stricken by everything happening in this country. I have some mild depression and can never catch up on everything that needs doing. I’m ashamed of the fact that, once again, my baby is almost one and I’m still largely in survival mode. I’m also experiencing a level of exhaustion that feels off, so I’m planning to get checked out soon. It could be, like, low iron, or just the fact that I can count my year’s full nights of sleep on one hand, but it could also be long covid! Who knows!
Random Happiness
This month at church, I made my liturgist debut! Yet another thing I, a woman, wouldn’t have been allowed to do for most of my adult life. It was an honor. I enjoyed doing it and am already thinking of ways to improve.
I got this shirt at a rummage sale. It brings me joy.
Baby Update
C3 got his first, much needed haircut this month! We took him to Taylor’s longtime stylist. He did great and was clearly feeling himself afterwards. I knew he would instantly look older after the haircut, yet it still caught me by surprise. Sigh.
My family has always done a routine with babies where you say, “How big is [name]? SO BIG!” and hold up your arms. C3 has caught on, but he looks more like a human shrug emoji when he does it, which is hilarious. “How big am I? Eh I’m not sure?”
He’s too big for this swing now, but we let him be in it with supervision because he LOVES the bears.
My mom found this striped Hanna Andersson PJ set for him at thrift. I can’t get over the cuteness. I’m also excited that he can now wear the onesies I got at my plant-themed baby shower.
The biggest C3 news of May is that HE’S MOBILE! He started crawling about two weeks ago and is now zipping all over the house, especially to places he shouldn’t be. For now, we’ve put a gate on his bedroom door to keep him away from the stairs. He is also pulling up on things, but not standing independently yet.
Final note: a Twitter friend sent me some Shea Moisture baby bath products when C3 was tiny. I used them up and then used other kinds we had, but I have now repurchased the Shea Moisture because it’s better than anything else I’ve tried. The baby wash goes a long way, and it’s really moisturizing and smells great. When he’s a big kid, I’ll be able to smell this and go right back to his babyhood.
Your Monthly Rufus
Rufus turned 8 this month! I refuse to accept that he’s getting closer to his senior cat years. Lately we’ve spent more time together, which makes me happy because I feel bad about him getting less attention. We’ve resumed our routine of morning pets as soon as I wake up. I’m interested to see how things unfold now that C3 is increasingly able to chase Rufus. Hopefully he’ll continue to be tolerant of his brother.
Good Reads
The Women Naming Their Babies After Themselves
The Spiritual Practice of Crying on a Peloton Bike
The Blonde Leading the Blonde: An Oral History of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion
What We Get Wrong About Life Before Modern Baby Formula
The Utopian Promises and Novelty Cheese of a Discount Grocery Store
This is What Happens When You Live Under Minority Rule
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Main Events
It finally happened: after 25 months of successful avoidance, we got covid. Most importantly, infant C3 appears to have come through it okay. He had an intermittent fever for a few days, and is still fussy and clingy, but has mostly recovered. I guess only time will tell if he has long-term effects. For me, I would say the flu was worse, and I’ve had worse colds (including a terrible one in January 2020 that Could Have Been Covid But We’ll Never Know). But that is ONLY BECAUSE OF VACCINES! I have a new level of sympathy for everyone who got sick pre-vax. I lost my sense of taste and smell, but it’s already mostly returned. I’m still not feeling 100% though. Between taking care of a sick baby while being sick myself, and daily childcare struggles when we and most of the baby’s caregivers had covid yet we still had to work, and trying to stay afloat at work and at home, I’m exhausted. Check on your friends with young kids. We are not okay.
Anyway, I’m relieved that we’ve gotten it over with, and it was a convenient time to do so. Now we can (theoretically) enjoy the summer.
Reading
If March was a lackluster reading month, April more than made up for it!
Broken Horses by Brandi Carlile (4.5 stars) It’s Brandi Carlile. What more can I say?
Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted by Suleika Jaouad (4 stars) I was reminded to pick up this memoir, which had been on my TBR for a while, after seeing Jaouad and her husband Jon Baptiste on CBS Sunday Morning. It’s moving and informative.
Life’s Too Short by Abby Jimenez (4 stars) The conclusion of the Friend Zone romcom trilogy. It was pure enjoyment and, I think, my favorite of the three.
I Guess I Haven’t Learned That Yet: Discovering New Ways of Living When the Old Ways Stop Working by Shauna Niequist (5 stars) Niequist has been my favorite essayist for over a decade (I met her once at the Festival of Faith & Writing and was too fangirly to speak). The years since her last book have been very eventful, and I COULD NOT WAIT to see what she would say about her dad, her dramatic move to NYC, the state of the world, etc. I related to her more than ever, and skimmed through the book again immediately after finishing it to highlight things.
Bomb Shelter: Love, Time, and Other Explosives by Mary Laura Philpott (5 stars) In this second essay collection, Philpott shares profound thoughts about her son’s epilepsy diagnosis, loss, change, grief, and anxiety… and somehow it’s not depressing. I LOLed multiple times. This is the best thing I read this month. Note: with both this and Niequist’s book, it was weirdly relieving to be reading an actual book that included people’s pandemic experiences. Like books have finally caught up to reality.
The Guncle by Steven Rowley (4 stars) Former sitcom star Patrick takes in his niece and nephew for a summer after their mother (his best friend) dies. I found Patrick pretty off-putting in the beginning, but am glad I pushed through because this ended up being a sweet and funny story.
Wayward by Dana Spiotta (4 stars) A Syracuse woman has a midlife crisis via real estate, leaving her suburban family to devote herself to an old, falling-apart bungalow in the city. Not a ton actually happens in this novel, but aging Midtown hipsters like me will enjoy it.
Watching
Painfully relatable:
Better Call Saul is back. I had trouble getting invested for the first two episodes, but episode 3 sucked me back in (very sad about what happened!!). In movie news, I tried on two separate occasions to watch The Eternals and never even got to the halfway point.
Listening
In more popcorn-emoji, these-are-my-celebrities news, Jen Hatmaker went on Glennon Doyle’s podcast this month, both alone and with new boyfriend Tyler Merritt. I cannot recommend these episodes enough. I agreed with many of her statements out loud by myself in my car, and related both to Jen’s experience as someone who once had a “model Christian marriage” blow up very painfully, and to Tyler’s experience as an older single person who had built his own life before getting into this new relationship.
Taylor is on a waiting list for an electric vehicle, so I appreciated this from Pantsuit Politics: 5 Things You Need to Know About Electric Vehicles.
Around Town
As you know if you follow me on any socials, the Grizzlies are in the playoffs! Playoff time in Memphis is a one-of-a-kind experience. The further we advance, the more hyped and tired the city gets (thanks to those late Western Conference time slots). We’re currently in the second round against the Warriors and almost no one has picked us to advance further. We’ll see!!
At the beginning of April, we took C3 to his first Redbirds game (and first baseball game in general)! We only stayed for a few innings, but he had fun. We went with friends who were once my primary social activity circle, but thanks to the pandemic and everyone’s schedules, this was the first time most of them had met my 10-month-old. It did all of us good to be together and continue our Redbirds opening day tradition! <3
Kara and I took our babies to the Dixon Gardens to see the tulips. They were breathtaking!!
My pastor had an art show on a Friday night, and I decided it was time for C3 to get some culture!
Travel
I hadn’t been “home” to Miami since August 2019. That is a long time for me. I felt weirdly emotional about leaving on our last visit, like I might not be back. At the time I attributed it to being pregnant (I miscarried a week later), but maybe it was a premonition. This month we finally returned with our rainbow baby, as well as Taylor’s parents, who had never been to South Florida before. We enjoy the Hallandale/Hollywood area, which is where I hung out on weekends as a kid, so Taylor booked us a nice Airbnb there. I was very nervous about C3’s first flight and big trip, but he was such a trooper! He had fun, took most things in stride, and did not melt down on many occasions when he would have been justified in doing so. When he felt overwhelmed, he just clung to me and/or fell asleep. Also, shoutout to the song “Five Little Ducks,” which has defused many a tense situation.
The 5 stages of introducing my baby to the ocean: 1. Avoidance 2. Observance 3. Uncertainty 4. Fear 5. Nap trapped on the beach while eating a Pub Sub
When we arrived, my parents had already been in Miami at my grandfather’s for several weeks. They towed their boat down with them, so we got to ride around Biscayne Bay and eat at our favorite place, Shuckers. I was excited for C3 to have these important family milestones. I’ve been out on the bay many times, and I have NEVER seen as many dolphins as we saw this day. Three different pods! We followed the last one for a while and saw a dolphin jump out of the water. It was incredible.
On our last day, we went down to Key Biscayne and ate at Boater’s Grill on the water. My parents had gone earlier that week and exclaimed about how their lobster was the best-priced in Florida. It was not the best-priced on a Saturday, but I still enjoyed it. We also saw MORE DOLPHINS in the lagoon.
Taylor said he’s going to start yelling “DOLPHIN” when I have the hiccups.
Most importantly, C3 got to meet his great-grandfather (and uncle and cousin) on this trip. It was a short visit, but we hope to go back soon.
At Home
Azalea time came and went so fast this year! I wanted to take some traditional nice azalea pics with both C3 and Rufus, but we were sick and just not up to it. Taylor has been working hard in our yard. He sodded the entire backyard, overseeded the front yard, dug an extensive drainage ditch, and planted my tomato bed. This year I have four varieties plus a tomatillo! In the greenhouse I have a lot of different peppers, cucumbers, and zucchini. No pictures yet – more garden info next month.
We’re having cleaners come this week for a deep spring clean. I just have not had the capacity to keep the house up to my standard. I’m very excited!
Beauty
Two new prods I’m liking: a new Herbal Essences heat spray, and this CeraVe retinol (a step I had not yet incorporated into my routine). Also, COVID TIP: I bought a gua sha set years ago and hadn’t used it in forever. I suddenly remembered it while I was sick and thought it might relieve some pressure/drainage in my face and neck. I used it in the shower for several nights and really think it helped! Gua sha has a lot of health benefits. There are plenty of instructional videos about it on YouTube.
Baby Update
I don’t know if there’s something about the tenth month, but C3’s personality really started shining through in April. I feel like we’re actually communicating – he can do “all done,” clap on command, is chattering a lot and says “uh-oh” (fellow Enneagram 6?!? too soon to tell). He is also THIS CLOSE to crawling. All the components are there, he just needs the motivation for that final forward-propulsion piece. He is standing with support, and I think there’s a good chance he might walk by his birthday. Exciting times!! There has definitely been some behavioral regression since having covid, but I’m hoping it will pass soon. I’m nervous to let him fuss it out much because I don’t know if he’s still having symptoms. However, he is behaving well for other people so I think it’s more of an “act the worst for mommy!” situation.
Your Monthly Rufus
Okay, at least I have one picture of Rufus with the azaleas.
He’s abandoned his butler-pantry bed and now prefers to lounge on top of an extra diaper bag on the porch.
Good Reads
We Don’t Bluff. By Zach Randolph
I raised my child in a shopping mall
Something about that list from the working mother battlefield.
Revisiting the Christian fantasy novels that shaped decades of conservative hysteria
Where Is the Sequel to the Marriage Plot?
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Main Events
Almost two full years after everyone’s Last Normal Day, I have officially gone back to the office. I typically go in two days a week and continue to WFH the other days. Getting myself and C3 out the door in the morning is a little stressful, but other than that, I’m liking my new schedule! It’s good to see my co-workers again, get out of the house, and really focus on my work without domestic interruptions. That said, I still don’t ever want to be in an office building 40 hours a week again. Hopefully I won’t have to. Anyway, going back to the office has brought some fresh pandemic grief/weird feelings as I begin to process all the changes and time passed. Like realizing our cafe workers probably lost their jobs two years ago… not just now when they installed self-checkouts. Or co-workers asking about the baby, then adding, “The baby is probably in high school now.” It will never not seem crazy that I conceived, grew, birthed, and took leave for an entire human while we were all away.
On my first day back, I came home to a surprise bouquet from Taylor with the theme “She’s Going Places!” Because I am, at last, LITERALLY GOING PLACES.
We had a very wet, heavy March snow. It happened too fast to affect the roads, so my MIL and I went to the Grizzlies game while it was coming down. We got completely coated on the walk from the car. It was a nice little end-of-winter surprise, but I was very ready for it to be the end.
Reading
I’m in a little bit of a reading slump. The two 4-star selections here are the only ones that excited me much. Also, let’s not even talk about how many months behind I am on my magazines. The stack continues to grow.
The Husbands by Chandler Baker (4 stars) A gender-flipped Stepford Wives that’s also just a smidge Get Out.
We Will Rise: A True Story of Tragedy and Resurrection in the American Heartland by Steve Beaven (2.5 stars) I bought this on Kindle sale a while back and only remembered that it was a basketball book, so it seemed appropriate to read during March Madness. It’s about the University of Evansville, which lost its entire basketball team and staff in a plane crash in the late 70s. The part directly around the crash is pretty riveting (I feel the need to discuss with someone), but the rest of the book got too detailed for me. I had trouble remembering who everyone was.
All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership by Darcy Lockman (3.5 stars) An important read for parents, especially moms, especially those who partnered up with the best intentions of equality and now are like what is going on here. You will feel some rage, but the book helps with identifying/validating problem areas and potentially improving your situation.
Ramshackle Glam: The New Mom’s Haphazard Guide to (Almost) Having It All by Jordan Reid (3 stars) I enjoy the Ramshackle Glam blog and wanted to read the book. It was okay.
Impostors by Scott Westerfeld (4 stars) I loved the Uglies series in the aughts and was excited to discover a new series set in the same universe. In this one, the secret assassin twin of basically a princess gets caught up in a war.
Listening
I got a lot out of the Pantsuit Politics episode Two Years of Covid. I’m cueing up PP more and more often in general – Sarah and Beth are doing important work. I feel pretty nihilistic about the state of this country most of the time, but these intelligent, informed women are still holding out hope, and that must count for something.
On a semi-related note, I decided to switch from Spotify to Apple Music. So far it’s been a smooth transition – I was able to import all my playlists. The only problem is, Apple doesn’t have the handful of classical pieces that have been on C3’s bedtime playlist practically since birth. I’m trying to find them for purchase, because the thought of losing them makes me want to cry.
Watching
We finished Inventing Anna. It was very enjoyable and full of memorable lines that you can later yell in her weird accent. (“I do not have time for this! I do not have time for you!” is especially useful in a work context.) (I was also fascinated by Neff’s speech pattern. Taylor said it was like a reporter from a 1940s movie.)
I’ve seen parts of Severance while Taylor is watching. It’s good, but disturbing enough that it’s probably for the best I can’t fully focus on it.
That’s all. Too much basketball on to watch anything else.
Around Town
Even though C3 still can’t be vaccinated, the covid numbers are SO low here that we can finally start living a more “normal” family life. It’s such a relief! C3 has enjoyed our outings:
Brewery with friends
Brunch at Sunrise (followed by a trip to Big River Crossing)
Senior Day at the Tigers
Overton Park
Meanwhile, the Tigers got to the second round of the tournament but lost to Gonzaga.
The Grizzlies have clinched the playoffs and are now #2 in the West and #1 in the Southwest Region. WHAT A TIME to be a Grizz fan!!!!
At Home
It’s been a big month in our backyard. Taylor spent many hours laying new sod to give us a real yard! It looks so different. I’m excited to have a place for C3 to play and for us to set up a badminton net. I also planted the flower bed a little early, in advance of the sod delivery. I shopped for plants at several places and am so glad I held out for these gorgeous coral begonias. Next on the list: lay a new deck next to the gazebo, and possibly build a safer landing for the back door.
Taylor surprised me with a real bookcase for C3’s nursery! We put it where his baby swing used to be (it has now been sold… sniff sniff). I’m so pleased with the room and feel like it’s a happy place for a baby to grow up.
My new work schedule meant I had to rethink my home office again. After taking some stuff back up to the office, I had annoying technical difficulties which are now thankfully resolved. (Pro tip: a DP cord and an HDMI cord are not the same!!) I finally had to pony up for a home desk chair, choosing a gray and white one to make it feel less officey. My cardboard storage was collapsing, so I also got this corner shelf, which holds a surprising amount of stuff.
Finally: I have to drive Taylor’s car a lot, and he has a magnetic phone mount, so I got one for my car too. It helps. Now I’m not constantly losing my phone under the seat.
Eating
I’ve been in a cooking slump too (sensing a pattern?!?), but I did make a delicious lasagna soup this month. Also, I am newly obsessed with oat milk after trying the Iced Toasted Vanilla Oatmilk Shaken Espresso at Starbucks. WHY IS IT SO GOOD??
Wearing
We had a women’s clothing swap at church, and to prepare, I tried on ALL of my clothes. Took the summer bins down from the attic and everything. I got real with myself about what I need for my current life and what will probably never fit again. I got rid of two huge bins of stuff, including some things I’ve had for 15 years, and almost every skirt I owned that didn’t have an elastic waist. It was a big milestone for me. At the swap, I scored some great items, including a few dresses. It was a lot of fun! The dress on the left is actually from a rummage sale a few weeks earlier. It’s Walmart, I got it for a dollar, and I have a feeling I’m going to be wearing it a lot.
Meanwhile, I quickly realized I needed some non-athletic flats for work. I don’t know that my feet grew after pregnancy, but they’re not the same shape, and some of my shoes were too tight while others are fine. In any case, I got some Rothys-esque leopard flats and some true ballet flats. That should hold me over until sandal season.
My other favorite new finds: two Adrianna Papell tops I got at TJ Maxx for $10 each, and this Old Navy shaker stitch sweater I’ve been eyeing since the fall. It’s not as cute on me as it was on the model, but it sure feels cozy.
Beauty
I ran out of hair prods all at the same time, so it was time for a clean slate. I chose to try the Kristin Ess and Marc Anthony curly hair lines (I prefer to have two different sets of shampoo/conditioner on hand). I wouldn’t buy the Marc Anthony shampoo again because it doesn’t meet my lather needs, but everything else is good. Also, I’ve perfected my Denman brush method: brush up and out a la Manes by Mell, then hit it once lightly with a wide tooth comb before blow drying. If I finish with the brush, I get like six huge curls around my head, and it just looks awkward.
My sample of LaPalette toner ran out, so I went ahead and got a full size. In my experience, this should last well over a year. I also gave myself the gift of not having to scrub hard at my eyes to get my makeup off. You’re welcome, future me! In Ipsy bag news, Benefit Roller Lash is the best mascara I’ve tried in a while, and I am obsessed with my Elaina Badro brush. Best color payoff ever.
I am constantly questing for the right nail buffer/file that will last more than three uses, and I think I finally found it!
Wellness
I’m about to conclude pelvic floor PT after 10 sessions, and I’m thankful to announce that IT WORKS! We have solved almost every problem that led me there. I’m no longer in constant pain and have learned tips and skills that should keep me feeling better for a long time. I even learned how to stand the right way (still working on it). As a complement to my PT, I did the Emma Lovewell Crush Your Core program this month and am feeling stronger there too. The slow progress continues!
I didn’t bike as much in March. I was focusing on the core workouts and often couldn’t make the time. But I did try my first Peloton Outdoor interval run! Definitely going to do more of those on nice days.
In spiritual news, I wasn’t planning to do anything for Lent (again), due to feeling so draggy and overwhelmed. But on Ash Wednesday I suddenly decided to give up unnecessary sorrys. I’ve always struggled with apologizing for things that aren’t my fault, or just for, like, existing, and PPD/A erased all my progress in that area. Making this a Lent thing has helped, because I know people know I’m currently trying not to say sorry, and therefore I’m not worried about them being mad at me for not saying sorry. (Yes, my brain is an exhausting place.) I’ve slipped a few times. But I’m being mindful and trying to establish other ways to express support and dismay.
Baby Update
C3 might skip crawling entirely. He can now sit up from a prone position, and stand while leaning against furniture!
First Word Watch continues. He babbles all the time and has a large repertoire of sounds, but has yet to say anything clearly associated with something – i.e. he says “mama,” but with no indicators that he’s talking to/about me.
C3 has four teeth and is working on a fifth. He is still not sleeping great, but we all do our best. I figure I’ll get a full night’s sleep in about four years.
Your Monthly Rufus
Only one Rufus pic this month. I must do better!!!
Read This
Did you hear about this?!? Lead Exposure May Have Lowered The IQ of Half of Americans Since 1940
How to forgive someone who isn’t sorry
Maren Morris Is Learning to Let Go
What You’re Feeling Isn’t A Vibe Shift. It’s Permanent Change.
The Sacred Act of Having No Idea What We Are Doing
“For Pregnant Women and Nursing Mothers”
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Main Events
On February 3, we had an ice storm in Memphis that knocked out electricity for thousands of people, including us. None of us were surprised when a big limb fell on the line that powers our heavily forested block. One of our 100-year-old oaks dropped a branch on our fence, broke a window in our neighbors’ house, and came within inches of crushing their car. At one point, the power line across the street started sparking and smoking, and Taylor had to call 911. It was intense.
We decided I should take C3 out to my parents’ house in the burbs, while Taylor stayed to keep an eye on things. It turned out to be an extended visit – we didn’t get our power back until the following Monday afternoon. It was nice to get some quality time with my dad (my mom was out of town), but both the baby and I were very ready to come home.
For Valentine’s Day I got a dozen roses, C3’s first Valentine craft, and a luxurious dinner at the Beauty Shop. They have little glass huts on the sidewalk for covid-safe dining, and I thought it would be fun. (I’d seen them many times while picking up takeout at my favorite Chinese place next door.) The food was fantastic.
(I swear I was not on this date alone – my husband just doesn’t like to be in pictures.)
My sister and nieces came to town last weekend, and Debra and I got to go out to dinner by ourselves! We had drinks, queso, and tacos at Babalu. Major excitement.
We also celebrated my mom’s birthday with a home-cooked shrimp boil, watching Encanto (I’m performing We Don’t Talk About Bruno above), and some cousin time.
Reading
I DNFed three books in a row in February, which is a new record for me. Two novels and one YA. I couldn’t get interested and/or found the narrators annoying. Please point me to books that have shaken you out of reading slumps!
Living Brave: Lessons from Hurt, Lighting the Way to Hope by Shannon Dingle (3.5 stars) If you follow Shannon at all on social media, you know some of her story. She is brave and inspiring.
Everything Is Under Control: A Memoir with Recipes by Phyllis Grant (3 stars) A short memoir with personal vignettes about family and food.
Paris in Love by Eloisa James (3 stars) A romance writer and her Italian husband move their kids to Paris for a year. I mentioned on Twitter that at one point they celebrate the new year 2010, and I instantly felt jealous of the good years they still had ahead of them.
The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune (3.5 stars) Many people recommended this magical-realism novel to me as a feel-good book. I wouldn’t necessarily put it in that category, but I really liked it by the end. Definitely unique.
Help Thanks Wow: The Three Essential Prayers by Anne Lamott (4.5 stars) (re-read) I’ve started a new book club affiliated with my church, and this was my first selection. It’s simple but profound.
Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood by Trevor Noah (4.5 stars) The best thing I read in February. I didn’t know much about South African history or culture and learned A TON. Wish he would write another book!
Listening
This is so good.
Watching
We fiiiinally finished Station Eleven. It was a great and weepy ending (I don’t remember how the book ended). Inventing Anna is next on our list – we started episode 1 last week, but then war broke out so we switched to CNN. You know. 2020s problems.
At Home
We rearranged C3’s room, and the space feels so much better! We took out two extra chairs and switched his crib and dresser around. Now he has lots of central play space. He’s officially too big now for his baby swing, but we haven’t done anything with it yet. I’m irrationally sad to think about getting rid of it.
I don’t typically buy plates or glassware because our blended collection is already chaotic. But Debra and I were browsing at IKEA and I bought some things that made me happy. The blue glasses were the same ones I commented on at our Beauty Shop dinner, and the plates and small glasses reminded me of our beloved next-door neighborhood, Cooper-Young (the gingko leaf is their official symbol). If they get a lot of use, I may go back for a few more.
Eating
I made these baked chicken wings for the Super Bowl, and they came out better than the Smitten Kitchen recipe I tried last year. Also, still loving my new rice cooker, I made Emily Mariko salmon rice. It was delish.
Wearing
I had an above-average Goodwill run with lots of nearly-new or NWT finds. They were all different sizes, because sizing is meaningless. I suggested having a women’s clothing swap at church and everyone was into the idea, which is exciting, but that means I need to somehow find time to go through all my clothes. Because the time has come to try EVERYTHING on. I’m slightly smaller since we got the Peloton, but I think this is basically what I’m working with going forward unless I go on some major diet… which does not feel feasible for me right now. So I’m planning to keep my favorite smaller pieces, but also let a lot of things go. Time to accept the body I have.
Wellness
Speaking of the Peloton, I did not do so great in February. I missed a week with the power outage, and then over the last week I’ve felt too overwhelmed by life to get on the bike. However, I still finished the Mastering the Basics program, hit my 25-ride milestone, and earned a bronze in the February activity challenge. I’m still going to physical therapy. I got cupping on my back (aka the Michael Phelps circular bruises treatment) and it was miraculous – the best my back had felt since before I was pregnant. I was pain-free for several days. Highly recommend. My PT and I agree it’s time to start working on my core to help support those back muscles, so I may start the Crush Your Core program soon.
C3 is having some sleep issues, which impacts all of our health in this household. He still sleeps decent stretches overnight (usually waking once or twice), but has started waking repeatedly from his bedtime at 7 to our bedtime around 10 – aka my only time to relax and be a human. We now spend a lot of evenings putting him back to bed over and over again. I’m hoping it’s a phase that will pass like the others, but there’s always plenty of blame and horror stories to be had around baby sleep. Anyway, I fantasize about one night in a hotel by myself.
Random Happiness
Since joining a leadership cohort at church in the fall, I have more commitments on weekends. I was getting increasingly annoyed with the tiny spaces my Filofax planner allots for Saturday and Sunday. It was so frustrating that, after many years of loyalty to the Filofax (and already a month into the year), I decided to try something new and ordered this non-custom Erin Condren Life Planner. I LOVE the weekly layout and the clear division of the days into morning, afternoon, and evening. It was exactly what my brain needed and I’m very happy with my decision. We’ll see whether I want to continue in this direction at the end of the year. Regardless, I’m keeping the Filofax around for long-term stuff like addresses.
Baby Update
C3 turned 8 months old in February. He’s a sweet and affectionate baby who has been much happier since mastering sitting. He babbles all the time – I expect his official first word any day! He can happily play independently long enough for me to get ready in the morning. He’s not crawling yet, but is working on it and can roll a surprising distance if he wants to.
We converted his play gym to a ball pit this month. He’s still not quite sure what to do, but seems happy.
With low covid numbers in our area, C3 is getting out more! He has been to church and is becoming a regular at Kroger and Target.
He slept right through his Class of ’97 mom getting crunk for the Super Bowl halftime show.
He LOVES cats and, of course, Rufus in particular. I won’t be surprised if his first word is “cat.” He can make the “k” sound and has occasionally said “K, k” when Rufus enters the room.
Your Monthly Rufus
Rufus continues to enjoy his Boppy Lounger in a sunny window, especially now that the lemon tree is blooming.
He also approves of a chair from C3’s room being moved to my office.
On the Blog
I wrote a very brief post for my church blog about the last of our eight practices, Pursue Justice.
Read This
Do you think of yourself as an athlete or an exerciser? Here’s why it matters.
Can A Mom Survive The Vibe Shift?
It’s your friends who break your heart.
Grannies today were really cool!
The Moms for Liberty are Right: Books are Dangerous.
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