Mandy Hale has been on the scene for a while with her blog and book, The Single Woman. With her new inspirational memoir, I’ve Never Been to Vegas, but My Luggage Has: Mishaps and Miracles on the Road to Happily Ever After, Hale moves past doling out advice to telling the personal stories of how she learned those lessons.

A Middle Tennessee native, Hale landed her dream job at Country Music Television shortly after graduating from college. But her career took a nosedive after she had a panic attack on an airplane and subsequently missed an important awards show. In I’ve Never Been to Vegas, But My Luggage Has, she shares the story of the ups and downs that followed: severe depression, a renewed commitment to her faith, career reinvention, new adventures, and ultimately finding her voice as The Single Woman. Meanwhile, she experienced a live-in relationship that turned abusive (which she, admirably, doesn’t sugarcoat in any way), and a five-year roller-coaster romance with a charismatic man she refers to only as Mr. E. Along with a few you can’t make this stuff up anecdotes (two words: Donnie Wahlberg), the suspenseful Mr. E story intrigued me more than anything else in the book.

Hale is a likable, engaging storyteller. I’m thankful for her platform of positive empowerment for single Christian women, in a culture that’s more likely to treat us as second-class and encourage us to settle. If you’re not already familiar with her, I’ve Never Been to Vegas, But My Luggage Has is a great introduction that proves her relatability. Without knowledge of the things she’s overcome and continues to struggle with, I’d have a tough time connecting with a woman my own age who has to keep making new “vision boards” because all the dreams on them keep coming true. (My wallet’s too small for my twenties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!) One of Hale’s mantras on her blog is, “We are all The Single Woman,” and this memoir confirms that she is us.

I’ve Never Been to Vegas, But My Luggage Has releases tomorrow, March 11. I advise checking it out!

Recommended for: single women of all stripes; Oprah enthusiasts

4 Comments + Posted in: book reviews, singleness

WARNING: Major spoilers below for last Monday’s episode of How I Met Your Mother, and season 9 in general. Don’t look if you don’t want to know.

Dear Thomas and Bays:

Please don’t kill The Mother.

I know the Dead Mother theory has been around a long time, and was given some legitimacy by Ted’s urgency in the Time Travelers episode. But I didn’t think much of it until we learned that The Mother lost the man she loved at a young age… and doubted whether you get more than one love like that in a lifetime. (Also noted: her lack of future-voiceover in the episode.) And then this week, she spoke that line, “What kind of mother doesn’t make it to her daughter’s wedding?” and Ted cried, and the collective heart of the fandom sank.

At its core, HIMYM is a show about hope and love conquering all. That’s why I get so emotional about it. It’s gone to some dark places – the loss of parents, infertility, getting left at the altar – but always with the implication that everything happens for a reason, everything will pay off in the end. Ted has waited for his true love for nine seasons. If their happiness is only a prelude to tragedy, if she doesn’t grow old on the porch with him and his friends, if he’s telling his kids this long story because their mother is dead… it would be a violation of the very heart of the show. Sadly realistic, and a gutsy move, but a slap in the face. There are so few happy endings in real life. Sometimes art is the only thing that keeps us hopeful for ourselves.

You’ve promised us a twist ending. So I think if you were really going to go this route, you would have saved it for the very end. Why waste the emotional punch by parceling it out over the last few episodes? You know that everyone is going to jump to the Dead Mother conclusion, and maybe you’re just messing with us. Something is definitely going on with the Mother in 2024, but I believe she lives. I believe love wins.

Please don’t prove me wrong.

Thanks,
Brenda

3 Comments + Posted in: tv

The following is a supplement to my old post about taking care of cats with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (or Disease). My 9-year-old cat, Peach, was diagnosed with IBS in early 2013 after a slew of expensive tests showed nothing wrong with her… aside from the fact that she could hardly keep any food down. During her sickness, I was desperate for information and ideas. I’ve learned a lot through trial and error, and continue to adjust the game plan, which I guess is part of treating any chronic disease. So if any worried cat owners are reading this, please benefit from my knowledge!

Meds: Peach’s primary IBS treatment is still a daily dose of prednisolone. Some cats can get by with a low or less frequent dosage, but she’s not one of them. For almost a year, I gave her half a pill every day in a pill pocket treat, which she ate without complaint. But last November, she suddenly stopped cooperating. I tried different treats and hiding it in favorite foods, but she made it absolutely clear that she was Done Taking Pills. (Looking back, I suspect she’d been spitting out or avoiding the pill part of the treat for a while.) Thankfully, it was no big deal for the vet to switch her to a liquid. So now, instead of persuading Peach to take a pill every evening, I (gently) pin her down, shoot medicine into her mouth with a syringe, and we both go on with our lives. Some days she’s more cooperative than others, but as long as most of it gets into her mouth, I call it a success. Overall we’re both happier. I’ve heard it’s also available in a gel form that you can rub onto the cat’s ear! Technology.

To my surprise, Peach improved drastically on the liquid medication. Even on a pill, she still had some issues, and I had hoped for a better baseline of health. Now everything is pretty normal, and she’s filled out a lot more and lost that gaunt look. I’m thankful and pleased. I know long-term prednisone use carries some risks, but it’s working for now and I’m alert to any new problems she may have. By the way, it’s better to give prednisone to cats in the evening because it’s more harmonious with their natural cycles. Don’t ask me how, I’m not a vet.

Diet: Like humans with IBS, cats with IBS do best on a grain-free diet. I switched both cats to grain-free several months before Peach was diagnosed (it’s too difficult to feed them separate foods), and I believe it may have saved her life. My primary cat food source is Petco – they have plenty of grain-free options and a decent rewards program. However, Whole Foods has a new store brand of GF canned cat food for 89 or 99 cents a can! I pay an average of about $1.30 a can at Petco, so my bank account is still thrilled about that development.

Anyway, my cats get half a can of wet food each evening, and I mix in a little probiotic enzyme powder to give Peach’s stomach a boost. I used to use a different brand, but this NaturVet seems more effective and is cheaply available on Amazon. One container will last you forever.

My cats’ favorite dry food is Halo Spot’s Stew, but it’s one of the most expensive. So we compromise on the salmon or chicken from Merrick, which costs almost $10 less per bag. They each get about half a cup a day as recommended.

Caveat Emptor: Last fall, when Peach was having a rough spell, I came across information about a natural remedy that claimed to completely cure IBS in cats, including a lot of testimonials. I’m ashamed to say I came thisclose to dropping $100 on it, but thankfully I talked to my feline-expert BIL first. He gently reminded me that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. After some more research, I confirmed that it was a snake oil situation. I share this story as a reminder to keep a clear head. When someone you love is suffering (even if that someone is an animal), it’s hard not to grasp at any hopeful possibility, but always check your facts and don’t let anyone take advantage.

In conclusion, my cat is doing great, but I have no guarantees that this will continue. So I’m staying flexible and appreciating every good day!

5 Comments + Posted in: cats

Yesterday was a snow day! Or, more accurately, an ice day. On Sunday, we had torrential thunderstorms all afternoon and evening. By the time it started turning to freezing rain and sleet, every school within a 60-mile radius had already closed for the next day. In the morning, I awoke to my radio alarm saying we were under a state of emergency. I went to the window, saw ice coating everything, and went back to bed for another half hour because I definitely wasn’t going anywhere.

My company only closes in the event of a power outage (sigh), but fortunately I have a work laptop and can occasionally work from home. I’ve brought my computer home every time we’ve had a winter weather threat. This was only the second time I’ve needed it! And I did need it – just as I started feeling a little guilty for not trying to go in, a truck spun out right in front of my house. Validation.

Any sort of extended snow is unusual in Memphis. Not only did we have light snow showers all day, but they were also sun snow showers. I’d never seen anything like that – it was so beautiful!

I’d also never seen budding trees encased in ice. Also beautiful in a tragic sort of way. I’m glad my bulbs had only ventured a tiny bit above ground.

Afternoon brought some serious icicle action.

I’d say surely this must be the end of our winter, but the way things are going, I’m not making any declarations until April 15!

2 Comments + Posted in: winter

(Dauntless manifesto poster by Risa Rodil)
Notes From a Blue Bike: The Art of Living Intentionally in a Chaotic World by Tsh Oxenreider (4 stars)
I reviewed this here.

Dancing Through It: My Journey in the Ballet by Jenifer Ringer (3 stars)
I reviewed this here.

Divergent, Insurgent, and Allegiant by Veronica Roth (4.5 stars overall)
I’m one of the last bookworms I know to read this trilogy – I waited until it was finished. As I said yesterday, I was hooked and tore through all three books in under a week. If you somehow haven’t heard about Divergent, it’s set in a dystopian future where everyone is divided into factions according to their dominant personality trait: Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). When people turn sixteen, they must make an irrevocable decision either to commit to the faction in which they were raised, or transfer to another one. Abnegation-born Tris loves her family, but feels too restless for her faction’s serene, sacrificial ways. When she takes an aptitude test before her Choosing Day, she finds out that she’s Divergent – well suited for more than one faction – and that she can never reveal this truth to anyone. This is all I knew going into the books and I think it was better that way, so I’ll stop summarizing here.

The Divergent trilogy is fantastic. It inspired, challenged, and moved me. I loved the worldbuilding, and I think Tris is neck-and-neck with Katniss and Hermione for the best YA heroine of the century so far. The only thing keeping me from giving it 5 stars was… many of the events of Allegiant. Aside from the thing that everyone was angry about, I felt cheated and thrown for a loop by a couple of other things. But somehow it didn’t ruin the whole story for me.

Although I’m excited for the movie, I’m a little bummed now that they’re making movies, because I think this would have worked much better as a TV series. Oh well.

Books for February: 5
2014 year to date: 11

5 Comments + Posted in: book reviews