Last weekend, the movie adaptation of Tiger Eyes aired on TV. Tiger Eyes has always been my favorite Judy Blume book. It’s about Davey, a Jersey girl whose father is shot and killed one summer night. After the funeral, she moves along with her mom and younger brother to New Mexico to recover in the home of her very controlling aunt and uncle. Davey starts hanging out in a canyon to escape the dysfunction at her aunt’s, and that’s where she meets Wolf, a mysterious, slightly older guy. He becomes a friend and guide as she navigates her grief and gains confidence.

I didn’t see this movie in the theater, so this was my first viewing, and I was very pleased. I’d say it’s in my top five of beloved-book adaptations. Surprisingly, my favorite scene was one that wasn’t in the book. Wolf, who’s Native American, brings Davey to a tribal ceremony. During the party, one of the leaders brings him into the center of the bonfire circle. The tribe is aware that Wolf is facing the loss of a family member, and the leader tells him that he has everyone’s support and is not alone. He puts a feather in Wolf’s hair as a symbol of his life, to remind him that he is alive in the midst of his suffering. Then he lays hands on him and sings a blessing over him as everyone watches.

This scene deeply moved me. So often in our communities, we profess to be there for each other and even pray together, but I think there’s something powerful about making a ceremony of that support. I’m not saying we should make a bonfire circle every time someone has a bad day, but maybe there are more present, earthy ways to express love and encouragement. I’m going to reflect on this. I also think we underestimate the power of physical support. Sometimes a simple hug or a pat on the back is more reassuring than a lot of good words. So many of us are constantly running a touch deficit, and it’s not only the single people.

Have other fans seen the movie? Did you have some unexpected insights?

2 Comments + Posted in: community, movies

Meet seventeen-year-old Prenna James, who immigrated to New York when she was twelve. Except Prenna didn’t come from a different country. She came from a different time.

So begins the official summary of Ann Brashares’ latest, The Here and Now. Prenna is a product of the late twenty-first century, a society ravaged by starvation and blood plagues. She and her mother join a last-ditch survival mission: a colonization of the past. Although their alleged goal was to try to prevent the plagues, their community remains isolated, afraid, and inbred years after their arrival. After one of her peers is killed for not adhering to the sacred rules of the colony, Prenna begins to wonder whether the plenty of this new world is worth her lack of freedom.

Prenna’s classmate Ethan has always drawn her out and seemed to sense the truth about her. Forbidden to have any sort of relationship with a “time native,” she’s tried to push him away. But when he leads her to the answers to questions she’s never dared voice, they become allies in a race to stop the event that will bring about the plagues.

I finished this book in about 24 hours, and couldn’t stop thinking about it while I was away from it. It has an addictively layered plot along with the good characterization that made Brashares’ Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants so great.  (Time-traveling Lena!) The release date is April 8, and I highly recommend checking it out.

Recommended for fans of: The Giver, The 5th Wave, Delirium

5 Comments + Posted in: book reviews

I’ve mentioned that I’ve had some ongoing eye troubles, which is why I’m wearing glasses most of the time. In early November I got an ulcer in my eye, aka keratitis (don’t click if you’re squeamish), and I promise it’s something you Do Not Want. Ever. The treatment and follow-up doctor visits have cost hundreds of dollars, not to mention the more expensive contacts I’ve had to switch to, which I’m only allowed to wear two days a week while the healing continues. But considering that my sight wasn’t damaged, it’s truly not a big deal.

All that to say, at my last visit, my doctor told me to start using an eye mask overnight to minimize air circulation around my already dry eyes. I’d been using one on trips for a while, so I was okay with that. I started sleeping in a very cute eye mask that my friend Tessa gave me years ago, and noticed a difference right away. But within a few weeks, the elastic stretched so much that the mask slid around and wouldn’t stay on my face. Very annoying. I decided to sew another mask, but didn’t want to run into the same problem within a short time. I needed an adjustable strap. Then an idea hit me!

If you recognize this movie, please tell me so we can be friends.

I sewed the main part of the eye mask according to this tutorial. I traced my existing eye mask onto two fabric pieces and one piece of batting, then sewed them together as instructed. It was very casual – I didn’t even measure anything.

Instead of following the instructions for the elastic, I cut two small pieces from a T-shirt I had already made a scarf out of. I used the sleeve seam, to take advantage of the extra strength and use a scrap that would otherwise go to waste. I sewed them to either side of the mask to make loops, into which I hooked…

… a bra strap that I already had, from one of the many convertible strapless bras I’ve deluded myself into purchasing. The hooks stay secure in the loops, and I can continue to adjust for fit. Perfect!

I’ve been using the sleep mask for almost a week now with great success, and plan to make a couple of spares. Maybe I could even sell them on Etsy!

6 Comments + Posted in: crafts, health

Last January I became aware of a movement called One Word 365. For those who haven’t heard about it, the idea is that instead of making New Year’s resolutions, you choose one word to guide your thoughts and goals for the year. I liked the simplicity of this idea. I didn’t have a mystical word-choosing experience like many of the other participants, but I decided on Focus as my word for 2013. I’d been spreading my energies too thin for too long, and I wanted to become more intentional, to be more fully present in fewer things instead of scattering myself to the wind. I also wanted to get more serious about my writing. Well, Focus wasn’t an unmitigated success, but it wasn’t a failure either. Although it may not be obvious from the outside, I do feel more focused than I did a year ago and I’ve made some audacious (to me) investments in my own development. It’s a long road, and I’m a few more miles down it, and that’s the important thing.

One night right before the holidays, I was feeling discouraged and restless about a whole soup of things. I wasn’t praying so much as thinking in God’s general direction (which constitutes much of my “prayer life” lately). My thoughts concluded in an increasingly familiar place – that it seems so much easier to shut off and remain aloof from life rather than to feel and engage and be fully alive. At that moment, I knew that Alive was my word for 2014. It had that sense of rightness that eluded me before.

I’m ready to explore what it means to be fully alive in every sense. Here’s what I already know: being fully alive is messy and painful. It means you can’t just close the door on wounds and disappointments. It means accepting the lows with the highs, and the full spectrum being enhanced as a result. It means honesty, courage, and the knowledge that not everyone will approve of you. It means openness to the unexpected. It’s about expanding and occupying space in the world.

I spent my first 28 years of life shrinking smaller and smaller, trying to take up as little space as possible. I thought that was my job as a Christian and as a woman. Thank God, I was wrong. But the more alive I’ve become, the more I’ve realized that being alive is really hard. The path I’m currently called to, the internal and external battles I have to fight daily, are just plain hard (and this is the case for everyone). Sometimes I get weary and give up. Then I wonder why I feel cold and disconnected from God, others, and even myself.

So I’m going to be thinking, praying, and writing about Alive throughout 2014. Although it won’t always be fun, I’m excited because it’s such a rich topic. I even created a Pinterest board.  I can think of no better way to conclude than with this song from the Buffy musical masterpiece Once More With Feeling, which has described my emotional state many times since it first aired:

I don’t want to be going through the motions, losing all my drive.
I can’t even see if this is really me.
And I just want to be alive.

6 Comments + Posted in: what i'm into

Welcome to the brand new Don’t Stop Believing! This move has been in the works for a LONG time. First I had to decide that I was worth a shiny new template, domain, and move to WordPress, and then I had to figure out how to make it happen. I’m still tweaking a few things, but my understanding of WordPress is growing by leaps and bounds. Thanks to my brother Kevin, his co-worker Kennedy, and friends Matt, Becca, and Alissa for providing support both tech and moral.

Please update your bookmarks and subscriptions! You can subscribe via e-mail in the sidebar; follow my blog with Bloglovin; search for dontstopbelieving.me on Feedly (their button doesn’t work for me); and/or like the Don’t Stop Believing Facebook page (I’m not sure yet what to do with it, but it exists).

I’m very excited about this fresh start. Now that the logistics are settled, I’ll have more brain space for writing. Stay tuned!

8 Comments + Posted in: announcement