Main Events
I went back to work last week! Or “back to work” since we’re all still working from home. I am now a Working Mom, a role I’ve been intimidated by my entire life. So far it’s actually going great. I noticed an improvement in my mental health right away – I guess using my brain, doing something I’m already good at, and talking to other adults is helpful! We did not make it off the waiting list at any daycares we’ve applied to, but it’s okay. For the rest of 2021, C3’s grandmas are alternating days taking care of him here at home. After the new year, a friend who just had a baby boy herself will be watching him. I’m very thankful for this gentle transition, for all of us being under one roof, and for C3 not being exposed to a bunch of germs so early (covid or otherwise). It’s a real blessing in the midst of this endless panini.
Reading
The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey (4 stars) – a popcorn horror story about clones, the science seems dubious but just go with it
Glorious Weakness: Discovering God in All We Lack by Alia Joy (3 stars) – a brave and well-written book, but not a great fit for me at this moment
George Washington Is Cash Money: A No-Bullshit Guide to the United Myths of America by Cory O’Brien (3 stars) – creative idea but just okay
And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready by Meaghan O’Connell (4.5 stars) – so much to relate to here, including her birth experience which paralleled mine in many ways
Competitive Grieving by Nora Zelevansky (4 stars) – an intense but unique novel
I’m also working on two heavy books, one for book club and one that I got as a physical copy (which means slow going, since my main reading time is on my backlit Kindle during 3 am feedings).
Watching
LuLaRich – I watched this MLM documentary twice, alone and then again a few days later with my mom. It’s a train wreck that won’t surprise any fans of season 1 of The Dream.
The Morning Show – Taylor and I just finished season 1 (a rewatch for me) and are about to start on the new one. I definitely noticed things I missed the first time.
Succession – I tried to join Taylor in his rewatch before the new season drops. I can appreciate the show’s prestige qualities, but had to walk away after a few episodes. My tolerance for terrible people behaving terribly remains low.
A Black Lady Sketch Show – I binged the first season sometime during the summer and loved it (this skit is my fave). Now I’m about halfway through season 2.
And of course, Ted Lasso.
Listening
I’ve followed Dr. Thema on Twitter for a while and recently found out she has a podcast. This episode about body shame was uplifting and comforting.
This episode of Oh I Like That has changed my life! I’ve been on Gmail for a decade-plus and never really knew how to use the labels feature. Now my inbox is a well-organized rainbow!
Maintenance Phase had an interesting episode about Rachel Hollis that made me LOL more than once.
Travel
We spent the beginning of September in Greers Ferry, Arkansas with my parents. The view from our airbnb was amazing. It was a peaceful short getaway and I’m glad we were able to go. We spent an afternoon on the boat, and C3 did so well! He seemed to enjoy swimming in the lake with me (in his infant life jacket), and when we went fast in the boat, he kicked and laughed in his seat. He might be less chill in these situations as he gets older, but I soaked up this happy time and am hopeful that he’ll love the water.
At Home
Lots and lots of pacing C3 around the downstairs and up and down our street!! The (usually) nice thing about street pacing is that neighbors come out to chat and look at the baby. Everyone loves a baby. Since he’s a fairly isolated child of the pandemic, I’m always glad for him to see new faces.
Our spider lilies came back, a little later than last year!
We watched the Tigers game outside for the first time this fall. It was a pleasant time for the whole family, including Rufus! I put out a cat tent that my friend Kelsey gave us.
Beauty
I finally splurged on Farmacy Honeymoon Glow. I’m loving it – my skin looked brighter within days. Meanwhile, my Ipsy bag-driven obsession with Tatcha products continues. I selected the Rice Wash this month and it is a luxurious experience! I’ll probably own full sizes of that and the Water Cream before the year is out. Another Ipsy skincare win is Lapalette Calming Green Turnover Toner, which smells great and has a pleasant tingle.
Love Beauty Planet has a new sub-brand of bath products, Beloved, at Target. Unable to decide between two refreshing scents, I got both in what I thought was a travel size body wash so I could test drive them. My first thought was “wow, this isn’t lathering at all.” Turns out I had actually purchased hand sanitizer!! I then went way outside my comfort zone and got the regular body wash in Patchouli and Orange Flower instead. Not sure if I’d choose this scent again, but it’s fallish in a non-pumpkin way.
I love Tree Hut bath products, which used to be readily available at Kroger. Sadly they appear to be victims of our endless supply chain issues. I couldn’t find their sugar scrub anywhere, so on a Trader Joe’s run, I picked up the TJ’s lavender salt scrub. It’s nice and you get a lot for the price.
Starting to follow Manes by Mell was my push to finally get a Denman brush. I thought I understood how to use it, but unfortunately my hair still looked pretty bad after a few attempts. I’ve gone back to my trusty wide-toothed comb. I guess I’m probably not following the system right, but I don’t really have capacity for a high-maintenance styling change right now.
Wearing
While I am still seeing a little stomach shrinkage, and can squeeze into some of my old clothes, I decided to go ahead and get more clothes in my current size. Mostly secondhand to keep it as cheap as possible. I’ve worn exclusively dark wash jeans for about 15 years and exclusively skinnies for about five, because it was so drilled into my head that those options are most “flattering.” But after reading a Wardrobe Oxygen post about not looking dated over 40, I am reluctantly considering other washes and cuts. I found some light wash, straight leg NYDJ jeans at thrift and feel pretty good in them! I also tried on and liked the Power Wash Slim Straight jeans at Old Navy, but haven’t purchased any yet. Not sure if I’ll ever revisit flares or wide legs – I’m haunted by college rainy days when my jeans got soaked up to the knees. IYKYK.
Wellness
Now that I’m back to work, I can’t go to morning Fit4Mom classes anymore. I’m bummed about that and will miss the accessible workouts and community. I’ve realized I NEED to start exercising more often for my mental health, as well as just to feel better in my body. I’m still not ready to put myself through the misery of actively losing this weight. Right now I’m shooting for a few minutes (I’m talking 10 or 15) of elliptical or yoga every evening. It’s a start. My muscle groups are too trashed to go right back to my old pace anyway. I’d like to resume weight training later this fall, so now my mindset is that I’m doing the prep to attempt that safely. This is going to be a long road.
Anyway, my devotion to Yoga with Adriene is well documented, but I really want postpartum-specific help during this time. I found Yogini Melbourne on YouTube and she is fantastic. Slowly working my way through her PP content.
Random Happiness
C3 and I were visiting my parents one afternoon and saw TWELVE hummingbirds at one time. I sat quietly on the back porch and just watched them buzz around. It was incredible. We have two in our backyard, but I’m pretty sure they’ll be starting their migration soon.
Your Monthly Rufus
Rufus frequently reminds us that he is still the baby. Also, this month he snatched a bag of his treats out of the treat drawer and ran off with it to chew it open in peace.
Here’s a closeup of him in his cat tent. He seemed nervous in it and then relieved to go back in the house. Maybe next time he’ll be more acclimated to it!
On the Blog
I put together a post linking to all my most-cooked recipes, something I’d been meaning to do for a while.
Good Reads
What Got Left Out of LuLaRich: An interview with Meg Conley
Visiting the World Trade Center in Pre-K
Volume 3, Issue 81: I Am Trying to Break Your Heart
Dispatches from the Pre Post-Pandemic
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Over the last few months I’ve had a lot of conversations about tried-and-true recipes on Twitter. I decided it would be handy to put together a list that I could link to in these situations. These are the meals I’ve made over and over again for years, often to the point that I no longer need to look at the recipe. Most of them come together quickly and easily enough for a weeknight dinner or even lunch. Enjoy!
Soups
Salads
obsessively good avocado cucumber salad
“Kelly Salad” – spring mix, strawberries, peaches, toasted pecans, Parmesan cheese, and grilled chicken that’s been marinated in orange juice
“Bougie Salad” – spring mix, burrata, fresh peaches, fresh basil, toasted pecans, and serrano or banana peppers in a balsamic vinaigrette
Vegetarian
The Best Roasted Broccoli of Your Life
Shakshuka (Trader Joe’s has a frozen shakshuka mix that makes a recipe unnecessary)
Asparagus, Goat Cheese and Lemon Pasta
Butternut Squash with Wilted Spinach and Blue Cheese
Meat, Fish, and Poultry
Salmon and Asparagus with Pepper Relish
For the Holidays
My traditional Easter meal: Mustard-Crusted Pork Roast With Shallots and Wine Sauce (I use a pork tenderloin), served as suggested with Collard Greens and Garlic, Parmesan Polenta and/or mac and cheese.
When You Have Some Time
Chorizo and Sweet Potato Enchiladas
Brunch/Dessert
Shauna Niequist’s Blueberry Crisp (from Bread & Wine)
I turned 42 this month! It was a very low-key birthday, which I expected/was fine with, since we currently have a newborn in a pandemic. I went to my new moms exercise class in the morning, my parents brought Newk’s over for lunch. Taylor took me to dinner on the patio of a fancy new downtown restaurant, and we got a private tour of the rooftop bar!
Reading
Rich and Pretty by Rumaan Alam (3 stars – barely) A novel of two best friends, the “rich one” and the “pretty one,” over several decades. I kept waiting for something to happen and nothing really did.
How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids by Jancee Dunn (4 stars) Dunn is one of my favorite writers, and I had been saving her parenting book for when I had a kid myself. It was good and informative, but a little tough in places.
Find Layla by Meg Ellison (4 stars) An intense YA about a teenager who escapes from her life of total squalor with her abusive, negligent mother. Also a tough but engaging read.
A Special Place for Women by Laura Hankin (4.5 stars) I loved Happy and You Know It last year, and this is a similar story where an outsider infiltrates a group of secret-keeping women. This time, the group is a fictional version of The Wing, and being a girlboss is just the beginning.
If You Feel Too Much: Thoughts on Things Found and Lost and Hoped For by Jamie Tworkowski (2 stars) I would have loved these essays earlier in my life, but as an exvangelical 40something in 2021, I just could not with this young, Relevant magazine, Christian white dude taking himself extremely seriously. I’m sorry.
Where the Forest Meets the Stars by Glendy Vanderah (3 stars) A biology grad student is doing summer research in the country when a mysterious girl shows up on her porch, claiming to be an alien. I almost gave up on this novel in chapter 1 but ended up enjoying it.
Since I currently do most of my reading between 2 and 4 am, I really need a book to grab me. As a result I’ve DNFed more books since C3 was born than ever before in my life. I got as far as 44% into one this month before walking away.
Listening
Loving this…
Our bathroom remodel included a vent fan with Bluetooth speaker, so I’ve been listening to bits and pieces of my favorite podcasts in the shower. I’m consistently enjoying Glennon Doyle’s podcast.
Watching
The Americans seasons 5 and 6 – When Taylor convinced me to start this show with him, I never imagined I would get so invested. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. I’m still thinking about it, especially the finale, which is one of the best TV endings I’ve ever seen. Fun facts: Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys are married in real life, and Rhys is Welsh. Right after the finale, we watched a clip of them being interviewed together on Colbert, and our minds were absolutely blown hearing a cheery Welsh accent come out of Philip Jennings’ mouth. Unreal.
Glow Up seasons 3 and 1 – My sister told me about this British makeup competition on Netflix. It is pure joy.
Bob Ross: Happy Accidents, Betrayal & Greed – This documentary reveals shocking details about some really terrible people who are still abusing Bob Ross’s legacy after his death. I had never heard about it.
Malice at the Palace – If you still miss The Last Dance, watch this one-shot documentary.
Various episodes of The Movies that Changed Us and The Toys That Changed Us
Travel
We had a cabin vacation at Pickwick Lake with my parents, Taylor’s parents, and my sister, BIL, and three nieces. It was C3’s first trip and he did well! My parents recently got a boat, so we took it all around the lake for swimming, tubing, and looking at lakefront houses.
C3 went in the pool for the first time! <3 I got his baby rash guard and hat from Primary (as well as a swim diaper that was too big for him, so we used a disposable instead).
I definitely didn’t take the family togetherness for granted after so much separation the last year and a half!
Around Town
I’m a lot more comfortable now taking C3 out by myself. This month we took many walks around the neighborhood and at Overton Park, went to outdoor exercise classes (more about that in a minute), and visited my parents’ house. But due to the high delta numbers in our area, I’ve stopped taking him to stores, and I no longer go to church in person or socialize with friends indoors. All of our local immediate family is vaccinated, and C3 should have some measure of protection from me, but for his sake none of us are taking unnecessary risks right now. It’s depressing to be in this position again but… here we are. Don’t get me started.
We have had some patio meals out for our mental health. My parents and I had a great round of mimosas and burgers at Belly Acres last weekend, and this week Taylor and I had a lunch date at our new Torchy’s Tacos.
At Home
Our surprise lilies bloomed again!
Wellness
Not to sound like a commercial, but joining Fit4Mom might be the best thing I’ve done for myself postpartum. C3 and I go to Stroller Strides once, sometimes twice, a week (I just tried my first Stroller Barre class last weekend). We started at the end of July, and now I feel noticeably stronger at the end of August than I did at the beginning. The classes aren’t super intense (I’m still doing the lighter variations of most exercises), but comprehensive enough that you feel like you’ve done something. An added bonus for me is that I’m usually the newest mom there, which helps me feel good just for showing up! Of course I can’t go to day classes once my leave is over, but I’m really enjoying the experience, so I’d like to still be involved somehow.
We haven’t gotten off the waitlist at any daycares, so when I go back to work, our moms are going to alternate weekdays with C3 until my friend Kara can nanny him after the new year (when her own maternity leave is up). We are extremely fortunate to have these options. Especially since, with the covid situation, I wouldn’t feel great about sending C3 to daycare right now even if I could. The grandmas decided they wanted to start getting into the swing of things, so my mom or Taylor’s mom now comes to watch the baby most weekday afternoons. This has boosted my mental health tremendously. I had a lot of things I wanted to do before going back to work and had made zero progress. Now I get a few hours each day to do chores, work on projects, run errands, or just quietly exist. Game changer.
The covid situation is taking an emotional toll on me, as it is on the majority of us. More and more people I know, despite being vaccinated and taking many precautions, are getting it and/or know someone who has died from it. It’s sad and exhausting, especially as a new mom. I’m not really worried for myself. Just my loved ones. I worry about the kids most of all and feel so sad that this is their childhood.
(PS, these vaccination card protectors are cheap and come 3 to a pack.)
Random Happiness
I requested rainbow window clings for my birthday after seeing some in Young House Love‘s instagram story. I placed them in many windows of our house, but so far this is the only one predictably generating a rainbow. Still lots of trial and error about the perfect angles for sun.
Years ago I had hummingbird moths at my condo, and since then I always look for them. They make me happy and remind me of friends I was in a small group with at the time. I was happy to see a few in my parents’ garden this month.
My college BFF Emily sent me this perfect travel cup for my birthday!
Your Monthly Rufus
Rufus continues to adjust well to big-brotherhood.
Good Reads
“I looked forward to this summer and now it is ending, without ever really having happened at all. The days keep on barreling down past themselves, the sun sets earlier and then earlier again and then it’s dark before eight. I miss every deadline that I set for myself. Nothing arrives, and everything does.” next year when everything is green
What Was the First Meal You Ate After Giving Birth? I had a club sandwich and iced tea from McAlister’s, after not being allowed to eat or drink for 36 hours.
If you can’t take in any more, there’s a reason
Margaritaville and the Myth of American Leisure
Don’t Be Fooled, Noom Is Just Another Diet (I wish all 1,200 calorie diets would just cease to exist.)
I Had a Baby, Then We Got Covid
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Hello and welcome to another abbreviated maternity-leave edition of What I’m Into! I’m typing this one-handed with a baby laying on my chest. We’ve made big progress in this household in July. As C3 turned a month old, I was getting at most three hours of sleep a night (usually more like one or two). Even with help from family and friends, I was Not Doing Well. At mid-month we and his doctor were able to identify and correct some food issues, and life did a complete 180 for all of us. Since then, Taylor and I each only have to get up once in the night, and C3 eats and then goes right back to sleep in his crib. He’s gaining weight, has started smiling adorably, and is much happier overall. Thank you Lord.
Reading
In the interest of time, no reviews this month, but I’m happy to discuss these!
The Prince of Los Cocuyos: A Miami Childhood by Richard Blanco (3 stars)
The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby by Lauren Smith Brody (4 stars)
Love at First by Kate Clayborn (3.5 stars)
Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade (4 stars)
The Means That Make Us Strangers by Christine Kindberg (3.5 stars)
Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid (4 stars)
Thanks for Waiting: The Joy (and Weirdness) of Being a Late Bloomer by Doree Shafrir (5 stars)
Listening
I’m constantly working on playlists for C3! I try to have music time with him every day (usually in conjunction with tummy time).
The women of One Tree Hill started a rewatch podcast, Drama Queens! I haven’t joined in on the rewatch (yet), but I’ve seen most of the episodes four or five times, so I remember enough. Even if you’ve never watched the show, their discussions are really interesting.
Watching
The Olympics
Never Have I Ever season 2
History of the Sitcom on CNN
The Americans seasons 4 and 5
The World’s Most Amazing Vacation Rentals
Cat People
Friends because it’s basically on TV 24 hours a day
Around Town
Places I have been with C3: Target (twice), church, McAlister’s for Free Tea Day, and the roof of a parking garage to watch the downtown fireworks!
Wearing / Wellness
CLOTHES ARE HARD. I’m still relying on a mix of maternity and regular tops. I made my first Goodwill run since January 2020 and found a few bigger shirts. The only shorts that fit are my trusty J. Crew linen drawstrings – I bought two more pairs. Still exclusively in maternity denim. I can zip up and button my “pandemic 15” denim shorts from last summer, but not comfortably enough to actually wear them.
I was getting pretty consistent with walking, but lately the heat index has been too high for me to take the baby out, even in the evening. This week I went to my first Fit 4 Mom stroller strides class and then bought a 10-class pass. It’s outdoors in the shade, so I can manage an hour with a portable fan pointed at the baby. Of course, I don’t have much to wear to class because all my exercise clothes and sports bras are too small. I found some mommy and me exercise videos on YouTube, but while the babies in the videos smile and coo at their moms doing downward dog, C3 is not having it so far. I’m trying to maintain grace and patience with myself, but it’s getting harder every day. I don’t know how to dress or live in this body, and don’t know how long I’ll be in it or if this is just my new reality.
Your Monthly Rufus
That’s all for now, folks.
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I had a healthy baby boy on June 5! I expect to write a more detailed birth post eventually, but in summary, C3 (as I’ll call him here for now) was born after a 36+ hour induction ending in a c-section. It’s been the longest month of my life and I usually don’t know what day it is… but overall our little family is doing pretty well, thanks to A LOT of generous help from our families and friends. I’ve gotten an advanced crash course in accepting help, especially during the first week-ish when I could barely take care of myself, much less the baby. But life is slowly improving as we all heal and get a better grip on things. There’s not much you can do to create stability or routine when they’re this little, but we’re trying. In general, he’s a good (and very cute) baby. I can’t believe I successfully grew him in my body.
Taylor is a great dad and co-parent (as I expected ;)). He had to go back to work after a week, but continues to participate fully in baby care. I have not missed a meal or gone one day without a shower (take note: “never showering again” does not have to be a thing!). I’m still only getting two or three hours of sleep most nights, but one of our moms comes over almost every morning so I can take a nap. Basically, Taylor and our moms are standing between me and postpartum depression. When we take C3 to appointments and everyone calls me Mom, I’m still surprised they’re talking to me. Having a baby really is like throwing a live grenade on your life. I suspect it’ll take a long time to figure out how all the pieces fit together now.
It’s taken all week to piece this short post together, but here’s a very abbreviated What I’m Into. I might want to remember this stuff from this first foggy month!
Reading:
When I started claiming the overnight feeding hours as my Kindle time, it was a game changer. I fall asleep if I either sit in silence or try to watch something. Reading keeps me engaged enough to stay awake with the baby, and I can manage the Kindle one-handed.
- All This Could Be Yours by Jami Attenberg (4 stars) (this is what I was reading at the time C3 was born)
- How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly’s Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life by Heather Havrilesky (4.5 stars)
- The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel (4 stars)
- And I Do Not Forgive You: Stories & Other Revenges by Amber Sparks (3 stars)
Watching:
- The Americans – After feeling meh about it at first, I got hooked. We watch a few episodes a day and are almost done with season 3. Kind of a dark show to be watching with a brand new baby, but *shrug emoji*
- Loki – The highlight of my Wednesdays… and reading tweets/memes about it afterwards is the second highlight.
- The Bold Type – I feel like this final season was kind of a dumpster fire, though I did like the twist of who ended up in charge.
- The Friends reunion on HBO – I am concerned about Matthew Perry.
- Taylor just finished the 18-hour Ken Burns baseball documentary. I saw some of it and it was pretty interesting, although they must have used every interpretation of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” ever recorded.
More later.
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