What I’m Into: May 2020

Honeysuckle always reminds me of my first May in Memphis. As a kid from Miami who had never seen seasons, everything was new and exotic to me that fifth-grade year. Our last few recess times of the year were spent standing around a giant honeysuckle bush at the back of the lot, where my classmates showed me how to take out the middle of the blossom and taste the nectar. I still sometimes do that when I pass a bush like this.

Not much has changed about my daily life since last month’s update, and most of the time, I’m okay with it. Of course I want to see friends, go to church, have a drink on a patio, visit my sister, go see the ocean, hug my parents. All month I’ve been cognizant of the Memphis in May events occurring in some alternate timeline, and how we’re missing our most joyful time of year. I’m burdened by the tremendous suffering currently happening in the world due to the virus, racism, incompetence, or just plain evil. I’m also still working through some personal events. Sometimes I feel so heavy I have to take Elizabeth Esther’s advice to “give it to God and go to sleep.” But I also have moments of happiness and peace watching backyard animals with my husband or sitting under our big oaks looking for fireflies at sunset. I’m really settling into the simplicity and restfulness of stay-home life. I’m not very excited to exchange that for the hamster-wheel exhaustion of “normal”… whenever that happens.

Reading

A Word about Reading during Pandemic/Crisis/Perpetual Dumpster Fire: I’m finding it difficult to read much heavy material during such a heavy time. My church book club, which focuses on social justice, is reading Evicted and I had to skip right out on the first discussion. Sometimes when you’re already extremely aware that the world sucks, you Just Cannot. I’ve rallied and am slowly catching up, but if you’re someone who needs permission to read a lot of fluff for a while, I want to give you that permission. Go escape into a romance or children’s book or dishy celebrity memoir. If we don’t take mental breaks, we will all go nuts.

Okay, on to this month’s reads!

Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved by Kate Bowler (4 stars) An articulate memoir of being diagnosed with advanced cancer at 35. Reading this right now was risky, but Bowler has a great sense of humor, and is also still alive and doing okay! Her NYT interview from last month is worth reading.

Poser: My Life in Twenty-three Yoga Poses by Claire Dederer (3.5 stars) A yoga memoir by a lifelong Seattleite. It’s well written and sometimes profound, but for some reason I struggled to get through it.

Nobody Will Tell You This But Me: A True (as Told to Me) Story by Bess Kalb (5 stars) After losing her beloved grandmother, Bess Kalb wrote her life story – and the story of her family – in her own sassy, unique voice. It’s delightful and brought me to tears several times. I think it hit me especially hard because I also have a strong-willed Jewish grandmother from New York, but I would recommend it to anyone.

The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People by Rachel Wilkerson Miller (5 stars) I pre-ordered this on Kindle, but will also be getting a physical copy to have around for easier reference. This is a thoughtful and thorough guide to knowing, accepting, and supporting yourself and your loved ones. Perfect if you, like me, are thinking a lot lately about your relationships.

Open Book by Jessica Simpson (4 stars) I went into this with low expectations and really enjoyed it! Her sincerity is refreshing.

Listening

10 Things to Tell You episode 67 is a conversation about judging others during the pandemic. I almost skipped it because I’m so weary of that very topic, but it was a worthwhile and even encouraging listen.

Sydney Kramer was on Gee Thanks, Just Bought It. Worlds colliding! I went through a serious Crepes of Wrath phase around 2010, especially her chai cookie bars and s’mores cookie bars.

Watching

I’m halfway through Never Have I Ever. Love it! I can’t remember anything else we watched this month, besides Six Days Seven Nights (which I had never seen), and The Office, still (second rewatch of our 11-month marriage). Once Michael leaves, we’re switching to Parks and Rec. I have to say, both Ryan and Andy have been extra on my nerves this time… and ever since Taylor pointed out that most things Michael says could be Trump quotes, I’m alarmed by him in a new way.

At Home

May was a BUSY month at our house. First, we got a new wood fence to replace the old chain-link fence (which had entire “volunteer” trees embedded in it). This project was not high on my priority list, but I have to admit it looks great, feels more private and secure, and frames all our mature plants nicely. As soon as the fence was done, my dad built us a small shed so we could move some stuff from the greenhouse. Now we’re at step 3 of the greenhouse plan, fixing the broken glass.

Meanwhile, I painted my sunroom/office/closet. While I have nothing against yellow, I couldn’t live with it full-time, especially in a flat finish. (Every wall in our house flat – what were they thinking?? I try not to notice because matte paint makes me physically uncomfortable.) The room has high-profile stucco walls (it was probably exterior at some point), and all the trendy pale colors I tried made the stucco look even worse. It needed something to ground and distract from it. So I decided to go with the bold color I wanted in the first place, Behr Dragonfly. I love it! Later I realized that the teal shade in my new blog color scheme is very close to the paint color. I guess teal is my color of the year.

I’ve wanted a sunburst mirror all my life, and this month we got one for our entry area. We originally intended to find an antique, but it’ll be a long time before estate sales and such open back up, so Home Depot it is! (I got it 60% off!)

We spent Memorial Day weekend planting a decorative garden next to our gazebo. Having confirmed I couldn’t save the August Beauty gardenia that had been with me for ten years, we replaced it with not one, BUT TWO new gardenias – as well as lilies, begonias, coleus (a sleeper fave), different hostas from the others we have, and lemon drop torenia. We arranged everything around some caladiums that were already there, and put our wedding lemon tree in the center.

The lemon tree has (finally) sprouted tons of new leaves! I did actual praise hands when I saw this progress. Now I just have to keep these awful spider mites off them.

I grew some salad greens with an indoor garden kit my friend Stacy gave me. We put it in the basement for maximum convenience, but the greens ended up tasting a little… basement-y. Taking recommendations for good indoor garden kit locations!

Eating

I’m basically cooking my way through the Smitten Kitchen catalog. For Cinco de Mayo, I made a taco torte – I already had all the ingredients on hand. It was SO GOOD and is going into my regular rotation. Other hits: skillet ravioli with spinach (I used tortellini instead); chicken gyro salad; and strawberry rhubarb crisp bars.

As we move into summer, I’ve also rediscovered my favorite quinoa recipe. It’s healthy and can be ready in about 15 minutes!

Beauty

My no-name cleansing exfoliator face scraper thing died this month after two years of use. The non-Amazon replacements I found all ran about $100, so I decided to see how I did without it. This was the skincare equivalent of stopping your antidepressants because you feel better. Within a week, forehead bumps and other long-gone problems started reappearing. I quickly caved and ordered the closest thing I could find to my old $30 tool – which is already “page not found,” unbelievable. If you have more cash to spare, you can get a legit Dermapore at Ulta.

Wellness

My gym reopened two weeks ago. I decided to give it a try because they’re taking abundant precautions (like, really setting the bar for safe reopening), the elliptical area is isolated on its own floor, and I go early in the morning when no one was there anyway. I am now going several times a week and feeling better/more energetic. I forgot how important this type of repetitive cardio is for my mental health. So far, I’ve felt very safe. I will not be doing weights and touching a bunch of stuff, but this is working for me for now.

Meanwhile, I did not rejoin my Pilates studio when it reopened. It’s near my office 30 minutes away, and it was already tough to get a spot in any class besides the one specifically for my company. Plus the greater health concerns in a small space. I put my membership on hold for three months, but we’ll see. This might be a chapter in my life that has closed. In the meantime, I’m exploring other options for strength/weight training.

I have other thoughts on coronatide body image and wellness-adjacent stuff, but I’m saving them for another time.

Random Happiness

I went to Target! It was my first real shopping trip in over two months. I never knew an errand could bring so much freedom and joy.

We had some socially distanced pool time in Taylor’s brother’s yard for Memorial Day. My SIL made killer mimosas.

When we left the office, I thought we would be gone a few weeks at most. As time went by, I got more and more concerned about my plants. My whole team knew to water them for me if they were going up to the office. Finally, one of my co-workers dropped them off on my porch as a surprise. They’re recuperating nicely. I really work with the best people.

Your Monthly Rufus

After joking about it for a few weeks, we bought Rufus a pet stroller. HE LOVES IT. When not being walked around the neighborhood, he likes to nap in the stroller. It’s his birthday month – he’s turning 6 – so I consider this his best birthday present ever.

Rufus refuses to be shut out of my workspace. If he always sat on my lap this calmly, I would be happy to have him, but most of the time he comes in to be agitated and pace around on my keyboard.