Last weekend I finally saw Frozen. I absolutely loved it. If you’re unaware of the plot, Frozen is about two sisters, Elsa and Anna, who are princesses. Elsa’s (unexplained) powers over snow and ice turn dangerous when she accidentally strikes Anna. As a result, she’s totally isolated for the rest of her childhood, unable to control her powers and forced to keep them a secret even from her sister. When she slips up at her coronation, everyone but Anna turns on her. Elsa flees into the mountains, where she quickly embraces the freedom to use her powers and be who she really is.
Anna treks to her sister’s ice palace to help her and bring her home. But Elsa turns her away, insisting, “I’m alone, but I’m alone and free.”
So many themes in Frozen resonated with me, but this was the line that gave me chills (sorry). Elsa believes, understandably, that she can only be her true self in isolation – that no one will love or value her just as she is. She also believes that she’s now free from the cloud of fear that’s overshadowed most of her life. But these are opposing truths. As long as she’s afraid to let anyone in, she is not free. What she’s experiencing sure looks like freedom, but inside she’s still a prisoner.
How many of us can relate to this? That’s what I’m thinking about today. Discuss.
I totally get what the movie is saying, although I haven’t seen it yet. As an introvert, when I was single, I immensely enjoyed my alone time. Even being married, I still enjoy my alone time. But nothing is more gratifying than to have someone else understand you. Recently, after sitting in one of my classes at church, my wife said to me, “You were probably more yourself tonight than since we moved here.” That statement pointed out to me the freedom that I was experiencing in my job at that time, and how I didn’t have to worry about hiding behind appearances. I couldn’t have felt that without being in a relationship with my wife. Sometimes she understands me better than myself. And as she holds me accountable to who I am in Christ, I find true freedom.
*like* :)
It can be hard to let your guard down and be who you really are. Some of us fit in easily with others, while others (like me) are just an odd duck. That’s especially hard when you’re a kid and a teen, when you want nothing more than to fit in. It’s not so easy as an adult, either, but by then, you’ve learned to hide the really one-of-a-kind parts of you. It’s easy to hide away your uniqueness, but it’s also easy to feel that no one will ever understand the real you. But if you hide who you are, then the person (or people) who would be attracted to you don’t know you’re right there, hiding in plain sight and you get missed.
It hurts, too, to not be accepted. As I get older, I am more and more myself. Instead of being who I think someone wants me to be, I act like who I actually am. This is something I’ve struggled with all my life, though I have seen improvement. It helps having a husband who loves me even if I am strange, and having friends who love me for who I am. I find myself slipping the mask back on, though, and will probably always struggle.
I struggle with this too. It’s tough!
I haven’t seen it yet. I want to. It is my niece’s ABSOLUTE FAVORITE movie. I know…she’s 5…but she LOVES it. She loves everything about it…the story, the music, etc. She sang all the songs and made us watch every video…and she gave me a play by play of the whole movie…including all the dresses and hand gestures and hairstyles when she was describing what happened between the sisters.
One of our conversations over Christmas
Mae – “Aunt Missy, you should take me to see Frozen.”
Me “But you’ve already seen it. Twice.”
Mae – “I know. But YOU haven’t seen it and you should. Plus, it’s the best movie ever.”
Since we didn’t have time, she did the next best thing…singing all the songs and describing the movie in detail. Sounds like she was right…I do need to see it. Then I’ll come back and comment on the actual movie. ;)
Side note: I agree with Carol’s comment above. “As I get older, I am more and more myself.” I am more comfortable with who I am now than I have ever been. (I noticed this change when I hit my early 30s.) I’m just not as worried about people liking me as I used to be. I like to be liked (who doesn’t?!) but I’m okay with having values and beliefs that are contrary to popular opinion. Interestingly, I find the more honest I am about who I am, the more people seem to like me. Even if we don’t agree on something, it’s like there is mutual respect that comes from that kind of honesty. It’s a level of intimacy or putting yourself out there that many people have trouble with. I discovered this a couple years ago when I was job hunting. When I was extremely diplomatic and polite and pc, things went well…but I just didn’t connect. When I started “telling it like it is” (still polite and diplomatic & pc – job interviews for heaven’s sake) I got so many call backs and offers it was crazy. It was something about the level of honesty I was willing to share (regarding what I’ve done, what I could bring to the table, and what I could confidently say that I could legitimately accomplish as well and what I did not think could be done and why) that drew people in. I was discussing this with a friend, I commented that it seemed weird…the “less agreeable” I was, the more people liked me. Seems counterintuitive. She pointed out that even though I was “not agreeable,” I was kind, respectful, honest, and confident and that speaks to people. Although I noticed this during interviews, this seems to be true in all areas of my life. I just didn’t analyze other conversations/relationships constantly or with quite the same intensity as I did when I was trying to get a handle on how an interview went, whether I was moving forward (or should) and if that particular job/boss/company was a good fit.
Yes!! I’ve experienced this too. I think the collective tolerance for political correctness is going down. Personally I’m very turned off by fakeness. I’d rather talk to a respectfully honest person any day even if we don’t agree.
Honestly, Frozen was one of the best Disney movies I’ve seen in a long time.