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Sorry I haven’t been posting much. Making time to work on a novel in addition to all my existing online stuff has been tough. Then I got sick. I had a great weekend, but woke up Monday morning feeling nauseated and awful. I’ve spent most of the past 48 hours going back and forth between my bed and the couch. But after lots of naps, hours of TV, and adding and removing multiple things from my online cart at Old Navy, I think I’m on an upswing and should be able to go back to work tomorrow.
At least I’ve been able to catch some shows and movies. I watched Away We Go on TV yesterday (with Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski) and it was great – like an older, pregnant version of Garden State. I also rented Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close this weekend and am still thinking about it. It was difficult to watch, but really good. (I haven’t read the book yet.) Yesterday the highlight of my day was a new episode of my new favorite show, Bunheads. And I’m enjoying the Olympic trials – more swimming tonight! Although nothing makes me feel wimpier than watching elite athletes qualify for the Olympics while I’m too sick to even get off the couch. Anyway, I never sit around like this normally, so it’s kind of nice to rest without any pressure.
My cats have been happy to have me at home too. :)
3 Comments + Posted in: health, tv
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| Sunrise from my north-facing bedroom on the solstice. |
I used to think that any effort that didn’t result in immediate success was a waste. I felt like I had to do everything well on the first try. It’s no wonder I was terrified of taking chances or trying new things. I had no concept of learning from my mistakes (or being healthily humbled by them), or even doing things badly for pure enjoyment – I just had to be as close to perfect as possible all the time.
But I’m learning to trust the process. I don’t enjoy failure, but I’m starting to see it as God’s way of teaching and equipping me. To find success, in anything, you have to learn a lot. You have to find out what works and what doesn’t, what you really want and, maybe more importantly, what you don’t want. Sometimes the only way out is through.
A while back, in one of my many search-for-significance moments, I decided I should try to write a novel this summer… just for a sense of progress as a writer. I still don’t feel anything like a legitimate writer, but maybe I would if I finished a book, even a horrible one. But remembering my one highly stressful attempt at NaNoWriMo (November is a poorly chosen month anyway, and that November was crazier than most), I got too intimidated. I decided to forget it.
This week, I had a story inspiration. Nothing revolutionary, but it dropped into my brain almost fully formed, and plausible, so I couldn’t ignore it. I ruminated about it for a day, and when I couldn’t find any deal breakers, I started a document. I have a terrible track record with following through or finishing anything longer than an article or blog post. I hit a creative wall or talk myself out of the whole idea. But this time I have something I’ve never had before: a willingness to fail. If it takes me a year to crank out a first draft, and it’s so bad that I have to toss the whole thing, I won’t be happy, but I won’t be sorry I did it. Because maybe I have to do bad work before I can do good work. Maybe I have to identify what’s not the story before I know what is. I’ve heard Real Writers say things like this for years, but for the first time, I really get it. It might look like wasting time, but I think I’ve already wasted enough time doing the opposite.
I have a loose plan in place, one that I think will work for me, and I’m ready to learn. So we’ll see what happens.
7 Comments + Posted in: imperfection, the writing life
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| My dad attempts to get comfortable in a strangely proportioned chair |
My parents and I went to Nashville last weekend for Father’s Day. My brother drove down from Indiana and met us there. It was great to have the whole family together even for a short visit.
We were all excited for Lance on his first Father’s Day! (Also, doesn’t my sister look great? :))
Of course, most of the time was spent gathered around adoring my niece…
…but we also went to the Aquarium restaurant in Opry Mills! I’d never been, and my dad thought it would be a nice treat for everyone. It was extremely overpriced, but the seafood was good and fresh, and really, you’re paying to look at the fish. Some time with this 200,000 gallon saltwater tank should hold me over until our Miami visit later this summer.
2 Comments + Posted in: family, nashville
This is how fathers and daughters rolled in Miami in the 80s! When I think about the things I’m most thankful for, my dad is always near the top of the list. He worked hard to give me a good childhood, and in my adulthood, he’s really gone above and beyond to be there for me. I have a much better picture of the love of my Heavenly Father because of my earthly one, and believe me, I know how blessed I am to be able to say that. When I got divorced, my dad could have helped initially and let me handle it from there, but he’s walked with me through all the long-term stuff – practically and emotionally. He patiently teaches me how to take care of my home (that is, when he lets me do it myself!). He takes me out for lunches and dinners and to the movies. He talks with me about work, basketball, gardening, and theology. Because of him, I feel less alone and more confident, and I’m more able to believe that good men of character still exist. We’ve always had a good relationship, but we’re even closer now, and I’m so happy that he’s my friend as well as my dad. Happy Father’s Day, Pops. You are the world’s best dad, and that’s not even up for debate. 2 Comments + Posted in: family Jun
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I’m assembling a fashion plan for my trip to New York, and so far it’s centered around three components: Casual Skirts
It’s going to be hot, so I think casual cotton skirts will keep me comfortable and put-together enough for museums and stuff – more so than jeans would. Obviously black and neutrals are more acceptable for the city, but brights are cute and easy to find right now. Walking Sandals   [ Bare Traps // Bass ]
Comfort shoes aren’t in my usual repertoire, but if I’m spending the money on them, I’d like something cute that I’d want to wear at other times. I also want something with multiple straps so my feet stay in place. I know from experience that flip-flop styling, no matter how comfortable, gives me blisters and sore ankles if I have to walk any sort of distance. I’m crossing my fingers for a good find at TJ Maxx or Ross. Crossbody Bag   [ Lucky Brand // Target ]
I don’t want to be hitching at my bag constantly and worrying about getting mugged. A crossbody bag will make me feel more secure. This Lucky bag is gorgeous but costs over $150, so my plan B was to make a more casual canvas bag along the lines of the Target one. Then I realized it would be much easier to find something secondhand at Plato’s Closet and be done with it – I mean, I’m already attempting to sew at least one skirt. So yesterday I picked up this little number for $13:  It’s very easy to carry, and in my opinion, faux snake goes well with everything. :) Thoughts? Insights? 8 Comments + Posted in: fashion, travel |
