We’re another month into our new reality. How’s everyone doing? My world has narrowed to our house, yard, and a roughly 2-mile radius of our neighborhood that I pace every evening. Taylor and I continue to work from home and feel very thankful to have jobs. He does most of the shopping for us and his parents, and we haven’t run out of anything essential yet. None of our family members or close friends are sick. Basically, we’re currently privileged to have all our basic needs met. Like everyone else, we really miss seeing friends and family, going places, looking forward to events, and having short-term plans and goals, but getting those things back is absolutely not worth risking lives unnecessarily. I’m grateful that our city and county mayors (and my company) are taking a more cautious, gradual approach to “reopening” instead of throwing wide the doors and letting everyone fend for themselves.

Easter is one of my favorite holidays, and I was sad to be apart from my church and family. But we made the best of it. I put on a dress, and Taylor, Rufus, and I watched my church’s livestream service together. We had a family Zoom call. I cooked myself a feast – pork tenderloin, mac and cheese, and collard greens. As anyone who has had Easter dinner at my house can attest, I do not mess around when Christ is risen. I also deemed it a special enough occasion to pick the Meyer lemon from our wedding tree, and make it into delicious lemon bars.

Reading

The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan (re-read) (5 stars) The novel that both fanficced Will and Kate and predicted the advent of Duchess Meghan. With sequel The Heir Affair coming out this summer, it was a great time for a comfort re-read of one of my faves.

We Are Okay by Nina LaCour (4.5 stars) This novel confirms my suspicions after loving Everything Leads to You: Nina LaCour is a special writer. There’s a simplicity and intensity to her words that I find beautiful. In We Are Okay, Marin flees to college early after her grandfather (her only known family) dies. After a semester of silence, her best friend Mabel arrives to try to put the pieces back together.

Roomies by Christina Lauren (3.5 stars) A fun marriage-of-convenience story perfect for music lovers, Broadway babies, and people trying to figure out where their lives are going.

I Want to Be Her!: How Friends and Strangers Helped Shape My Style by Andrea Linett (4 stars) I snatch up anything by former Sassy magazine staffers, so I was excited to discover this illustrated ode to Linett’s many fashion influences. There are a few famous women like Kate Moss, but most of the entries are regular people she’s known. This is the kind of book I would love to write.

Love & War: Twenty Years, Three Presidents, Two Daughters and One Louisiana Home by Mary Matalin and James Carville (3.5 stars) I read this memoir to see how two political opposites maintain a happy marriage, and also for the Louisiana content. It’s longer than it needs to be and sometimes I had to walk away from Mary Matalin, but I was entertained and somewhat inspired. Note: this was published in 2015. I wonder how they’re doing now.

Weather by Jenny Offill (3 stars) A strange little fictional musing on climate and cultural change through the eyes of a university librarian in New York. It was interesting, but my general impression was, Huh.

Hungry Heart: Adventures in Life, Love, and Writing by Jennifer Weiner (4 stars) I’ve been a Jennifer Weiner fan since her first book, but you don’t have to be to appreciate her personal stories and insights on writing, body image, and womanhood.

Listening

Yes, I’ve checked out the new Fiona Apple and it’s good, but I am not yet as obsessed as everyone else. I’m more into the advance tracks from HAIM’s new album, which I already pre-ordered.

I’ve also latched on to Sarah Harmer’s new song about enjoying nature, gardening, and simple home comforts with your sweetheart.

And I LOVED the finale of the One World: Together at Home concert.

Watching

Although I wish it wasn’t prompted by a sad event, I’m excited one of my all-time top five movies, That Thing You Do!, was back in the spotlight this month. The livestream watch party with most of the stars gave me joy. Then Tom Everett Scott did a highly enjoyable episode of Gee Thanks, Just Bought It (one of my favorite new podcasts). If you’ve never seen the movie, please do yourself a favor.

We watched all of The Plot Against America in a week. I read the book when it came out in 2004, but remembered almost nothing. It’s alternate history, told through the eyes of a Jewish family and community, in which America elects a fascist instead of Roosevelt and stays out of WWII. It is… extremely relevant. It also contains one of the saddest subplots about a child I’ve ever seen, and I’m still fighting the urge to jump through the screen and adopt him.

Taylor chose the American Pie movies as our background while we worked on some puzzles. I hadn’t seen them before, because I wasn’t allowed, and because I previously resented them for ruining all my legitimate band camp stories. They are super raunchy but entertaining. We still need to watch American Reunion.

Around Town

The only thing happening “around town” for me is enjoying all the flora and fauna (and sidewalk art) within the aforementioned 2-mile radius, so here’s some of the beauty.

At Home

It seemed crazy to move again so soon after getting married, but now I’m SO thankful to be spending quarantine in our long-term home. While I’m just now starting to feel interested in tackling some projects, Taylor (and my dad) have been working hard sprucing up my greenhouse. It clearly hadn’t been attended to in years and needed some TLC. They spent a whole morning cleaning all the crud off the glass and have ordered replacements for the broken panes. Once those are installed, we’ll clean and repaint the trim, and then it’s planting time!!

The neighborhood barred owl has been spending a lot of time around our house (this is the best picture I could get with my phone through a dirty upstairs window). Watching and listening for him has become a highlight of our days! He loudly announces his arrival, travels with an entourage of smaller birds, and doesn’t take crap from anybody. The Biggie of birds.

When we moved in, my guest-room sleeper sofa didn’t make it up the stairs (or, as my friend Stacy calls them, the “murder stairs” #oldhouseproblems). So we put it on the enclosed front porch temporarily. This month, my parents traded us the sofa for a set of antique bamboo furniture that belonged to my great-grandmother in Miami. I thought we’d need to change the seat cushions for something more modern, but they actually look great on the porch! Rufus is the biggest fan.

Taylor ordered one of our favorite wedding portraits and had it custom framed. <3

My MIL gave us this beautiful bromeliad, which is classified as an “expert” houseplant. I hope I’m up to the challenge!

Eating

The last normal social event I attended pre-rona was a brunch at my friend Vada’s house, to which I brought a fruit crisp from Shauna Niequist’s Bread & Wine cookbook/memoir. I’ve made a crisp for myself almost every week since. I couldn’t find the ungarnished recipe posted anywhere, so here it is:

Combine crisp ingredients. Pour the berries into an 8×8 pan or baking dish, and layer the crisp topping over it. Bake at 350F for 35-40 minutes, or up to 10 minutes longer if using frozen fruit, until fruit is bubbling and topping is crisp and golden.

A few other things I’ve cooked: slow-cooker chicken tikka masala; sausage and Rotel dip; excellent snack of celery topped with cream cheese and Everything But the Bagel seasoning.

We order takeout a few times a week. The Huey’s boxes are my favorite.

Wearing

I ordered this keyhole tunic tank top from Old Navy in the black floral and black stripe. Normally I avoid anything flowy or with “slub” in the description, but I have a top like this from Stitch Fix and it’s one of my favorites, so I thought it was worth a try. Well, it’s cute, feels great, and is long enough to wear with leggings! I also have a shipment of coronatide comfort pants on the way.

Beauty

For most of April, I was having The Best Skin of My Life and just wanted a little polish once in a while. I chose Cover Girl Clean Matte BB Cream (cheap and easily available at Walgreens) and it’s getting the job done. I also thought now was a good time to attempt liquid eyeliner again. NYX Matte Liquid Liner was recommended as good for beginners, and it’s been… not a total disaster. But I still need a tutorial for those of us who can’t even apply regular eyeliner without stabbing ourselves in the eye.

Wellness

Hitting it hard with the quarantine workouts: good for you, not for me. This month I didn’t force myself to do any exercise I didn’t feel like doing. For once I prioritized my overall health over my physical fitness, so it’s been a lot of Yoga with Adriene and long walks. But I’m planning to step it up in May. After a lot of consideration, I ordered a Pilates stick, which takes up little space and with which I can do many familiar strength exercises. It seemed like a better choice than a $129 over-the-door TRX, or spending a ton on weights. Stay tuned for a review next month.

On a more personal note, recently I’ve seen some real fruit of many years of work to get mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy. I have Been Through Some Things this month in addition to the pandemic, and feel like I’ve maintained poise and composure in situations that would have caused the me of even a year ago to fold. I’ve also automatically refused to blame myself for things that are not my fault. I feel really thankful and proud – not in a boastful way, but like I’m standing aside marveling at myself, instead of the usual Oh no baby, what is you doing dot gif out-of-body experience. So I want to say, if you’re in therapy or just generally working on your stuff, KEEP GOING. It’s a long, hard road, and you’re never really done, but the results are worth it. And the more you overcome, the more you know you can overcome.

Random Happiness

With my surplus, I bought this beautiful new machine that I’d needed for at least a year. Neither my Chromebook nor my old, wheezing MacBook Pro could handle a Zoom call or anything else I need to do in our current times. I took a risk and went for the rose gold model I really wanted – if it looks tacky in a few years, I can put a skin on it. (Why am I suddenly into pink tones after hating them for a decade?) Anyway, I’m loving it.

Your Monthly Rufus

Good Reads

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Welcome to the end of the longest month in history. A month ago, I was traveling, voting, seeing friends, going to games and work and church and the gym – all things that feel foreign now. So far, I’m extremely fortunate to have a job in an essential industry that I can do from home. So far, my husband and I, and our families and friends, are all healthy. I’m grateful.

Reading

Thanks to social distancing, March was my most prolific reading month in years.

All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir by Nicole Chung (3.5 stars) As a Korean-American raised by white parents, Chung always knew she was adopted, but slowly began to question the circumstances. When she got pregnant with her own daughter, she decided to try to connect with her birth family – with some unexpected results. A must-read for anyone considering interracial adoption.

Love Lettering by Kate Clayborn (4.5 stars) A charming New York romance between a semi-famous lettering artist and a Wall Street math guy, with a couple of twists! I think I enjoyed it even more due to the similar words/numbers dynamic in my own relationship. Thanks Rachel McMillan for putting this on my radar!

Untamed by Glennon Doyle (4.5 stars) As a Glennon stan, I pre-ordered this book and counted down the days to its release. It’s exhilarating, and I might need to get it on Kindle too so I can have highlights of half the book. However, I personally cannot go all the way there with her message, hence the 4.5. Side note: I love it when artists amend their previous work, pointing out how they’ve grown and changed. It makes it less scary to write words that I know I may disagree with someday.

A Dream About Lightning Bugs: A Life of Music and Cheap Lessons by Ben Folds (5 stars) I’ve been listening to Ben Folds since college, and his inborn passion for music shines through in this great memoir. I was surprised to learn, among other things, that he started out as a drummer, (briefly) attended the University of Miami, and has been married four times.

The God Who Sees: Immigrants, the Bible, and the Journey to Belong by Karen Gonzalez (5 stars) Read with my church book club, this book alternates between Gonzalez’s personal story as an immigrant from Guatemala and stories of immigrants in the Bible. Highly recommended.

How to Tell Toledo from the Night Sky by Lydia Netzer (3 stars) This magical-realism novel, about two astronomers literally born to be each other’s soulmates, was almost a DNF for me, but I rolled with the weirdness because I had to know how it ended. I would love to discuss with someone.

Leaving the Witness: Exiting a Religion and Finding a Life by Amber Scorah (3 stars) In case it’s not clear by now, I am very into stories about people escaping from cults. This memoir is about unbecoming a Jehovah’s Witness, but also about finding your place in a foreign culture, in this case China in the early 2000s. It’s interesting, but on some level it didn’t grab me as much as I expected.

Fading Feast: A Compendium of Disappearing American Regional Foods by Raymond A. Sokolov (3 stars) An 80s-era food travelogue that had been on my TBR for years. Unsurprisingly, my favorite chapter was about Key lime pie.

Here for It: Or, How to Save Your Soul in America; Essays by R. Eric Thomas (5 stars) Odds are you’ve seen Thomas’s tweets or one of his hilarious elle.com columns circulating on the social media. I’ve looked forward to his book for months and it did not disappoint!

Woman of Color by LaTonya Yvette (4.5 stars) I’ve followed LaTonya Yvette’s blog for a few years. Taylor noticed me eyeing her book at Cooper Young Gift Shop and got it for me for Christmas. I’m glad I didn’t get to it until now, because it was perfect to immerse myself in during these uncertain times. Full of beautiful photos, reflections, inspiration, and interviews with awesome women.

Listening

Over Leap Day weekend, Taylor and I went to New Orleans with some friends. We all traveled there separately – long story – and I drove down by myself to meet them. On the drive, I opened Spotify to discover one of my all-time favorite artists, Sarah Harmer, had just dropped a new album after ten years of silence. I joyfully listened to the whole thing multiple times in a row. It’s everything you could want in a Sarah Harmer album, and it felt like a gift.

My Pray as You Go app features a daily song. Last week, I had one of my “who is THIS?!?” moments with a group called Bifrost Arts. Great stuff.

Watching

I’ve mostly been popping in and out of whatever Taylor is watching, but we’ve also settled in for some comforting family classics like Space Jam and Mrs. Doubtfire. I’m bummed that the This Is Us season is already over. HOW ABOUT THOSE LAST TWO EPISODES. During the Kevin/Randall fight, I was gasping so loudly Taylor could hear me downstairs. I do not agree with Randall’s actions at all. Let Rebecca live her life!!

Around Town: A Pandemic Story

Taylor and my MIL and I attended our last Grizzlies game on Tuesday, March 10, against the Orlando Magic. With virus talk increasing, we knew it might be our last game for a while, but deep down I didn’t believe it. Or even think “a while” would be longer than a few weeks. The following evening, Wednesday, March 11, I went to a Lenten service at church and then to dinner at Mulan with my friend Dianne. The Mavericks game was on over her shoulder, and I started seeing bits and pieces of shocking closed captions: NBA season postponed. NBA players infected. NCAA tournament canceled. I managed to stay mostly focused on our conversation, but I called Taylor the moment I got in the car and he was like, “LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE LAST TWO HOURS.” (This was also when Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they had tested positive.) We were so spooked I decided to make a grocery run right away. At the store, shoppers and workers were having hushed conversations in small groups in the aisles. Back home, I was up watching ESPN until after midnight, trying to absorb what was happening. For me that night was the big wake-up call, the pivotal moment I’ll always remember. I’m still grieving the sudden loss of basketball. I just hope we get a next season.

At Home

St. Patrick’s Day was my last day in the office. I’m currently working in my “closet”/sunroom at home. Best view in the house! (I’d like to paint this room while I’m home, but it’s hard to pick a paint color when you’re not supposed to go to the store and look at swatches.)

My church has been meeting online for three weeks now. I “go to church” on the porch or in my backyard.

Moving in winter means the spring is full of surprises. We’ve been in the yard a lot, watching plants come to life! The azaleas are starting to hit their stride.

Taylor brought home a Japanese maple and a rose bush, which will be nice additions to the backyard landscaping.  I started a few rows of seeds in the greenhouse. So far only the arugula and cat grass are poking up. I also fired up an indoor seed starter kit that my friend Stacy gave me – getting a head start on vegetables seemed like a good idea!

Cooking/Eating

I’m really enjoying having time to cook. I’ve made a few things from Bread & Wine (mostly breakfasty items), old favorites from my tried-and-true recipe card album, lots of soups, and a few things I made up on the fly. Taylor mostly does his own thing foodwise, but there have been a few days when he cooked all my meals! We also do to-go orders a couple of times a week to help support local restaurants.

Wearing

I make a point of putting on actual clothes every day! **sparkle emoji** Having physical transitions to mark different parts of the day is important. I wear jeans sometimes, but my trusty Girlfriend Collective leggings and Old Navy joggers are also in heavy rotation. I keep wearing the same shirts. Mostly these, which I have in several colors (they’re under $5 right now!).

Beauty

I started at-home life insistent that Taylor deserves to see me looking decent even if I’m not leaving the house. While I stand by that, the labor of making myself presentable has been grating on me for a while. It’s hard to miss this only opportunity of my adult life to let my skin breathe and my hair rest. So I don’t do my hair every day, and when I do I use less product than usual. I put on makeup some days, but nothing close to a full face (taking recommendations for a great BB or CC cream!). This is the first time in literal years that I haven’t had stubborn makeup remnants around my eyes in the mornings. It’s refreshing.

Before the pandemic arrived, I decided to splurge on the Kiehl’s Vitamin C + Hyaluronic Acid serum that Alison at Wardrobe Oxygen recommends. On Ulta’s website, I found a gift set with the Midnight Recovery Concentrate (and a trial size Vitamin C eye cream) for not much more than the cream alone. After a couple of weeks, my skin tone looks more even. I’m also in danger of ordering the full-size eye cream because my under eye area was already brighter THE NEXT DAY.

Wellness

Without access to the gym, my exercise options are pretty limited. I do Yoga with Adriene most mornings, and if it’s not raining, I either walk or run in the evenings (with a goal of three runs per week). It’s the best I can do right now. My house has a lot of stairs, so I tell myself that counts too.

Random Happiness

Back when people could still interact, I got to talk to my neighbor about the magical-looking tree in her front yard. It’s one of the last elm trees in the area, and has been under the care of an arborist for years to keep it free of Dutch elm disease. I love looking at it!

I ordered a few City of Memphis seal stickers from my tweep Lindsey Jenks.

I’m a subscriber to Sarah Bessey’s Field Notes. Once a month, she chooses a question for group discussion. I submitted one at the end of February, and she picked it and talked about why she thought it was interesting!! The comments were helpful, too. (It was about how to engage with sin and suffering during Lent without falling into “worm” theology. I have a hard time separating those things.)

Your Monthly Rufus

America’s pets are the true winners of this crisis. Rufus is loving having both of us home all the time. He joins me for work:

Watches TV with us in all kinds of positions:

And happily sits in his cat bed on the dining room window seat for hours.

On the Blog

I shared a few personal thoughts about what’s going on in the world. I’ll probably write more as this goes on, if only for my own memories.

Good Reads

• There Is No Paycheck for Your Life’s Work
• How They Built Forrest Gump’s Big Old Southern House
• You don’t have to be good at this: emotional permission to just get by.
• POPCORN ALERT: my coworker is blackmailing me not to take time off for my honeymoon
• Miranda’s Rebellion
• How Ramona Quimby Taught a Generation of Girls to Embrace Brashness
• My Beauty Uniform: Deb Perelman
• The Criminalization of the American Midwife
• Rainbow Rowell analyzes the love triangle in The Hunger Games
• How Mrs. Meyer’s took over the hand soap aisle

In closing, here are a few of the many flower photos I’ve taken around my neighborhood lately. Hoping everyone stays safe and well!

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Last week, I had to start crossing out events in my planner. One week out, then two. Then more. I decided to cross them out, instead of White-Out taping over them. I decided the crossing out should stand, as a historical record of the things we’re all losing, hopefully temporarily but losing nonetheless. Initially, I was a little excited by the thought of staying home for a while, getting a 100% introvert recharge. Now it feels mostly like grief.

I think the full gravity of our national situation didn’t hit me until, at the same time, my gym and Pilates studio closed and I started working from home. I was feeling some anxiety and having some trouble concentrating, but my daily life was still mostly normal. Now I’m home, with no normalcy sheltering me from our realities and unknowns. I’m worried about the people who were already struggling on the margins of society. I’m afraid for friends who own small businesses or work in one of the many industries taking a beating, and upset that I can’t help all of them. I’m worried about my parents and grandparents, and friends who live alone. I’m disappointed to miss out on trips and fun times. I’m sad about being separated from family, friends, and co-workers. I’m sad for the kids, especially those being denied their proms, senior trips, performances, and graduations. I’m still reeling from the sudden loss of basketball, and I cried at video of Vince Carter taking what might end up being the last shot of his career.

But at the same time, I feel thankful for how things have unfolded personally to put me where I am right now. I’m glad Taylor and I are married and living together during this time. I’m glad we found our dream house ahead of schedule and decided to go for it. I’m glad to have a job in a vital industry that’s as secure as a job can be right now. I’m glad I’m not giving birth in two weeks, in the middle of a pandemic, which I would have been doing if I hadn’t lost the pregnancy last summer. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since 2016, it’s that sometimes things happen for big-picture reasons you NEVER could have fathomed at the time. Previous generations of Americans, who lived through wars and revolutions, knew this. My generation grew up in a time of peace and navel-gazing, so we’re learning it now. Sometimes what works out or doesn’t isn’t about you at all. Sometimes it’s God saying “Kid, there’s a tsunami coming.”

In my optimistic moments, I’m hopeful for the innovation that will come out of this crisis. Because the status quo doesn’t work anymore and we don’t have time for red tape, we’re going to see big advances in medicine, technology, business, sports, entertainment, etc. The world won’t be the same whenever this is over, and that’s scary and upsetting, but it’s also a great opportunity for positive change.

I’ll probably be writing more often as all this continues to unfold. Everyone stay safe and well, and hug the people you can hug (pets count as people).

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Reading

The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin (3.5 stars) As children, four siblings visit a fortuneteller who tells each of them the date of their death. The book unfolds each of their lives in turn from there. Well done, but sad.

Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint by Nadia Bolz-Weber (5 stars) Pastor Nadia’s first memoir/essay collection is both deep (I almost highlighted half the book) and entertaining.

Villette by Charlotte Bronte (3 stars) Last fall’s pick for Rachel’s Readalongs. I’ve been chipping away at it and finally finished! It eventually hooked me, but for the most part, the classics are not really my jam, especially when in a language I only vaguely understand.

Assimilate or Go Home: Notes from a Failed Missionary on Rediscovering Faith by D.L. Mayfield (3.5 stars) A memoir about living among immigrants and learning what it really means to be a neighbor. It will challenge you.

If I Loved You Less by Tamsen Parker (3 stars) A remake-of-a-remake Emma/Clueless adaptation set in Hawaii, which I read about on Modern Mrs. Darcy.

Listening

I was excited when Hayley Williams, frontwoman of my favorite band Paramore, started releasing new solo material. Sadly, most of it is a little Billie Eilish for me. Maybe I’ll like the rest of the album better? #old

At the same time I was reading D.L. Mayfield’s book, I discovered she and her husband Krispin have a podcast, and they’re devoting their current season to the Frank Perretti novel This Present Darkness. It is a MUST LISTEN if you were an evangelical in the 90s.

SSR Episode 82: The Parent Trap compares the old and new Disney movie versions to the original German novel, which is surprisingly disturbing.

Watching

Taylor and I finished The Leftovers last weekend (my first watch, his second). As a burned fan of Lost, I approached the ending with trepidation, but was very satisfied! My other viewing obsession this month was Cheer. I could discuss either of these shows and their protagonists for hours.

Miss Americana, the Taylor Swift documentary, is compelling and actually helped me as I wrestle with speaking your truth even when it costs you (and when you know the cost to you is still much lower than to the less privileged).

P.S. I Still Love You, sequel to my 2018-best romcom To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, was delightful both as a whole and to look at.

Around Town

25 years after her last concert in Memphis, my mom, Debra, and I went to see Ze Greatest Singer in Ze World, Celine Dion! Her voice is still flawless, and she’s really personable and funny.

As an early birthday present, I took my mom to see the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater at the Orpheum. I love modern dance because the body mostly does what the music is doing, which is my instinctive dance method too.

On my mom’s actual birthday, we went to a tree planting at Shelby Farms that my company co-sponsored. The ground was totally saturated and not easy to work with, but we managed to plant yellow poplars, pines, sycamores, and oaks. I look forward to visiting the trees as they grow!

Meanwhile, for my MIL’s birthday, we got a big upgrade from our usual Grizzlies seats – and it was a throwback night too!

For Valentine’s Day, Taylor and I went to Pete & Sam’s, and then Ben & Jerry’s. I received some lovely flowers too. ♥

Due to SAD-related lack of energy and motivation, I didn’t see friends very much this month, but a few of us went out in the neighborhood for Mardi Gras! I tried a king cake beer from a new-to-me brewery and liked it.

At Home

After a month of living in the guest room, we moved into our real bedroom when our new king bed and nightstands arrived! It was the last piece for me to feel fully at home in the house. Neither of us have ever had a king bed before, but we’re instant converts. Also, for Valentine’s Day, Taylor gave me a weighted blanket because I’ve been curious about them. So far, I like it for naps and for covering my feet at night, but not to sleep completely under.

One week, I accidentally bought whole bean coffee not once, BUT TWICE. In response, Taylor went out and got me a basic coffee grinder. I always assumed grinding my own beans was beyond my abilities, but it takes 10 seconds and the coffee is noticeably better! Game changer.

Having grouped all our belongings in their general areas, we’re now in the detail organizing, missing-items phase. The other night I couldn’t find the blender part of my immersion blender. I literally searched the house from top to bottom. The following night, while helping Taylor look for a specific pair of pants, I found the blender. I guess the key is to keep looking for the next thing.

It’s still too cold for me to want to work outside, but this month Taylor made a compost area at the back of our yard and completed a few other tasks. Some gnomes appeared between the roots of one of our pin oaks.

I finished organizing the built-in bookcases in the living room – for now, anyway!

Eating

The best thing I ate in February was the quinoa and mushroom “meatloaf” at South of Beale. I’m looking for a copycat recipe, but so far they all include lentils, which this dish did not have.

In an attempt to offer something healthy-ish, I made Smitten Kitchen’s corn and black bean weeknight nachos for our Super Bowl party. They were delicious! Another night, I did the Roasted Red Pepper Tomato Soup from Rachael’s Good Eats. It was just okay, but I blame my suddenly acid-sensitive stomach, not the recipe.

Beauty

Discontinued Hair Product Alert: Suddenly, I can’t find my trusty Garnier Whole Blends brown bottle leave-in conditioner anywhere. But it turns out their Curl Nourish Butter Cream is actually better! Most coconut oil conditioners are too heavy for my hair. This is just right.

While I have oily skin from the chin up, the rest of me is perpetually parched. I apply lotion about 50 times a day, most importantly right before bed. I’ve never found one that kept me feeling moisturized for very long, but the new Gold Bond Ultimate Overnight lotion comes pretty close. Worth a try if you have similar issues. #notanad

Random Happiness

We got a dusting of snow one morning! That might be it for the year, but we’ve had our share of March surprises, so you never know.

Due to the move, I’m just now unpacking and starting to use some of my Christmas presents. One such gift was a mouse hand warmer for the office. Have you ever desperately warmed your hands on paper that just came out of the printer? You need this. It’s USB powered, so it’s safe and barely uses any amperage and no one can object.

I really enjoyed watching NBA All-Star Weekend this year. My parents and I used to visit my brother every year on that weekend when he lived in Indiana, and we would watch the dunk contest together, so that always makes me think of him. On a related happy note, he’s coming to visit in April!

Cocoa Puff the rabbit has returned to Instagram! This account gives me so much joy. I also started using Instagram Stories for the first time this month and am enjoying it, despite not fully understanding it. On Twitter, I started a separate account for Enneagram musings and memes after thinking about it forever. SIPster Kelly came up with the name.

Your Monthly Rufus

Rufus reclaimed his cat bed right as we were about to put it in the attic due to lack of interest. Taylor set it up in the sunniest spot in the house, and now Rufus spends much of his day there. He’s also still loving the front porch.

Good Reads

♥ The Diet Industrial Complex Got Me, and It Will Never Let Me Go

♥ On the Mat We’re Briefly Perfect: On Netflix’s “Cheer”

♥ Sight and Insight

♥ What No One Tells Black Women About Fibroids

♥ Let’s Talk About Protecting Our Families

♥ Signs You Are Pushing Your Body Too Far

♥ Gender-neutral baby clothes: a quietly radical movement

♥ Table Magic

♥ Miss Americana and the Hole in White Feminism

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Happy 2020, blog readers! I hope everyone had a Happy New Year. Let’s review a few highlights of my life since my last What I’m Into in November:

We had a nice Christmas at home with both sets of parents.

I was a bridesmaid in Ashley’s wedding on New Year’s Eve! I don’t have any pictures from the wedding, but these are from her bachelorette party, which I co-hosted a few days before. She was a beautiful bride and I’m very happy for her happiness.

Taylor’s dad and my dad both retired. (Originally they were going to retire on the same day!)

We had a birthday/retirement party for my dad in early January. My sister and fam came for their holiday visit then, instead of during the actual holidays when I was consumed with bridesmaid stuff and moving.

Taylor and I moved into our new home! Moving just a few blocks ended up taking two full days, two moving companies, and a lot of help from family. The whole first day was rainy – we’re still cleaning up mud, dirt, and leaves that got dragged in. I do not want to move again for a long, long time, possibly ever. More on the new house in a minute.

Reading

Reading People: How Seeing the World through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything by Anne Bogel (3 stars) – A pleasantly written overview of the best-known personality typing systems.

The Conscious Closet: The Revolutionary Guide to Looking Good While Doing Good by Elizabeth L. Cline (4 stars) I read Cline’s fast-fashion exposé, Overdressed, in 2014 and have never been the same. This follow-up is full of tips for making greener, more ethical choices about our clothing. Secondhand clothes are central to her philosophy, which is exciting for me, having gotten most of my clothes from thrift stores all my life.

Vivian Apple Needs a Miracle by Katie Coyle (4 stars) The sequel to Vivian Apple at the End of the World finds Vivian and Harp taking shelter with a group of anti-Church of America rebels, but with plenty of questions and vengeance to enact, they refuse to sit on the sidelines. As much as I love these books, I admire and appreciate the restraint of keeping it a duology!

Placemaker: Cultivating Places of Comfort, Beauty, and Peace by Christie Purifoy (5 stars) Don’t let the women’s-Bible-study cover fool you: this is a thoughtful, multifaceted reflection on trees (you’ll learn a lot!), the meaning of home, and finding our place in the world. It was satisfying to read this at the start of my Year of Peace, right after moving into a new home.

Extracted by R.R. Haywood (2 stars) A free Kindle First Reads selection, this was already loaded on my Kindle Fire on a day when I had no wifi, so I gave it a go. The plot follows three heroic people “extracted” out of time at the moment of their deaths, and transported to a safe place where they can… train in combat to take out the person who invented the time machine? The concept had just enough potential to keep me reading, but the book felt like a submission from a college creative writing class. It could have been a lot better with a good editor.

Listening

Some podcast episodes I really enjoyed over the last couple of months (note, most are pretty old):

– The Dream S2 E5: Birthing a Bad Dream. If you’ve never listened to this podcast, START NOW. The first season was about MLMs and now she’s tackling the wellness industry.

– Ice Talk episode 17: I, Tonya with Paul Wylie and Christine Brennan. As a teenager I was obsessed with the Tonya/Nancy situation and Brennan’s subsequent book Inside Edge. This podcast prompted me to find a used copy of the book (back in the day, I borrowed it from the library repeatedly).

– Millenneagram episode 6: It’s Not Happening Now with Mara Wilson (a must-listen for all Enneagram Sixes)

– Forever 35 episode 27: Uniform Factor with Rachel Wilkerson Miller. I’m a fan of REWM, and not just because we share a middle/maiden name!

– The Life After episode 3: Jennifer Knapp

Watching

As someone who has always loved Little Women and read it at least 20 times, I could not be happier with Greta Gerwig’s new adaptation. The story feels so fresh and relevant. Florence Pugh steals the show as Amy (just as Amy would want), and her monologue about marriage as a business transaction is still ringing in my ears. Give this movie all the awards.

January elliptical viewing: Booksmart, all of Reese Witherspoon’s Shine On (which I started over Christmas), and currently, Cheer. At home, Taylor and I are finally on season 2 of The Leftovers. I’m very into it, but it’s too unsettling to watch more than two episodes at a time.

At Home

Our new house is a Foursquare built in 1917. It has a historical marker next to the front door, and lots of interesting details (like chandeliers in almost every room). It took me about two weeks to start realizing that I live in such a beautiful home, and it’s still sinking in! I also feel like Taylor and I have spent our entire marriage so far dealing with boxes of stuff (because we have), and we’re not done. While Taylor makes huge strides on the unpacking, I keep chipping away at what’s left. I didn’t leave the house much in January other than for work, church, and basketball games.

Our last house’s best feature was the large, open front porch. The new house also has a beautiful and unique porch, but it’s enclosed.

My favorite room might be the upstairs sunroom that serves as my “closet.” This built-in wardrobe is only part of it.

I’ve dreamed of a wall of built-in bookshelves my entire life!

Eating

I was sick this month, and at the worst point, the only thing that helped me feel better was Starbucks honey citrus mint tea, aka the Medicine Ball. I eventually googled a recipe and bought ingredients to make my own at home. Teavana tea bags are expensive, but man are they worth it.

Beauty

My face generated a few skin monsters in response to the moving stress. While unpacking, I came across a travel size Paula’s Choice BHA 9 spot treatment that I’d ordered with some other samples. It literally reduced redness and severity overnight. Now I’m applying it to the scars and it’s still making a visible difference. Needless to say, I got a full size.

I just got the new Revlon Photoready Prime Plus Mattifying & Pore Reducing primer. It’s good, but it’s not blowing my mind or anything. I don’t use primer every day. The previous iteration of Revlon Photoready is what I’ve had on hand for a while.

Wellness

The first week back after the holidays, at least 25 people on my floor at work got the flu in rapid succession. I’ve never seen anything like it. Some had had the shot, and some hadn’t. About a week later, I (along with everyone else who didn’t get the flu) came down with Something Else. It took me out for a week – I worked some of the time, but couldn’t exercise or do much of anything. The cough is still hanging on.

Bri McKoy mentioned the Pray as You Go app in her roundup of 2019 favorite things. I downloaded it this month. Each “episode” is 10-15 minutes long and consists of music, a calm British voice reading the daily gospel reading, and a few gentle prompts toward prayer and reflection relating to the passage. I LOVE IT. I can listen before bed, while I’m getting ready, or in the car. It’s been years since I managed to have any consistent spiritual practice, but this is on its way to being a game changer for me.

I wore a Garmin every day for two years, partly because my company’s health insurance requires you to log all your steps/exercise in order to get a “discount.” I am now privileged to be on Taylor’s insurance and don’t have to do that anymore, so I took a break over Christmas. I was surprised by how free and calm I felt without the constant notifications, reminders, and nagging sense of failure. Then I put new batteries in my nice Fossil watches that I hadn’t worn in about a decade. It’s a small change (and I still wear the Garmin to exercise), but it’s had a big impact.

Random Happiness

The lemon tree from our wedding has been through a lot. When we brought it inside in October, it dropped all its buds, only to bloom again in December. I pollinated the flowers by hand with a Q-tip, and lots of tiny lemons were on the way. Then we moved. Not only did all the lemons drop off again, the leaves also started yellowing, falling off, and generally looking terrible. I treated the tree with neem oil spray, citrus tree fertilizer, and prayer. Nothing changed. Last weekend, I went to the local nursery where we bought the tree and had an emotional discussion with a very kind plant expert, who said I’m doing everything right and the tree is not dying. It might lose all its leaves, but with continued treatment, it’ll put out new healthy ones. I thought we could all benefit from this story of hope.

On a much lighter note, the IT department at work finally updated my name! It only took six months.

Our new backyard has a little garden path around a big magnolia tree. When Debra was here for the weekend, I told her I loved the fact that you can take a turn around the yard, so she decided we must. We went arm-in-arm and talked about Mr. Collins.

Your Monthly Rufus

Rufus is absolutely loving the new house. Space to run, stairs to climb, lots of new places to hop up and roll around. He also loves all our new furniture.

He also got a belated Christmas present, a catnip-stuffed fish that flops around like a real fish. I was suckered by an Instagram ad with videos of cats going crazy for it. The novelty has worn off a little, but Rufus’s first reaction was priceless.

On the Blog

I wrote briefly about my 2020 word, Peace.

Good Reads

♥ What Surprised Me Most About Living Together

♥ Smarter Not Harder

♥ If you love books, do not cut them in half

♥ 4 Reasons Your White Walls Look BAD (helpful to me as we consider paint colors)

♥ Here’s how exercise reduces anxiety and makes you feel more connected

♥ The Oscars, Greta Gerwig and Why Little Women Is Still More Relevant than Ever

♥ Sin and the Rules of the Market

♥ The Case for Cohousing: Where Responsibilities Are Shared and Life Is A Little Less Lonely

A Closing Word

As a Basketball Person and, you know, a human, I was moved by the loss of Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna on January 26. I think his vitality and closeness to my own age made it an extra-sharp reminder that tomorrow is not promised. Here was an iconic man just starting a new impactful chapter of his life, and a young girl with a very bright future. It’s hard to feel that it was “their time.” I’m thinking a lot about what kind of legacy, and what things undone, I would leave behind if I suddenly left this earth. I’m also praying for Kobe’s wife, Vanessa, because I know from (lesser) experience that nothing is worse than being the reason everyone is hugging their loved ones a little tighter. Still… hug your loved ones a little tighter, and be good to each other.

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