Main Events:

I believe in celebrating your whole birthday month. This year I lived that out to the point that my parents said “Okay, your birthday is over until next year!” First they took me to Flight, my favorite restaurant, for my official birthday dinner. On the actual day, my co-workers spoiled me with a fully decorated cubicle and a homemade strawberry cake, and Taylor took me to Slider Inn for a Jameson slushie. Then he threw me a birthday party the following weekend. I felt extremely celebrated!

The party was a combo birthday/housewarming, and a bunch of neighbors came over whom we had met at National Night Out early in the month. They were all friends with the elderly lady who used to live in Taylor’s house, and wanted to see the renovations. I love the community feel of his neighborhood.

 

Reading:

I LOVED This Is Me by Kate Pearson Chrissy Metz. She’s so engaging, honest, and wise that it’s probably a good read even if you’re not into the greatest show of the 20teens This Is Us. I also devoured Why Have Kids?, an overview of systemic problems with modern motherhood. It offers no really actionable solutions and I don’t know how my mom friends would like it, but as an outsider, I found it fascinating.

On the fiction side, I read a couple of stories from Ghosts of the Shadow Market, but will try to hold off on the rest until the whole book is out. The Fates Divide was a satisfying sequel to Carve the Mark, and I can get behind a duology instead of a long series! I liked the premise of Swear on This Life – childhood sweethearts reconnect after one writes a book about their story – but something about it felt very writing-class-ish and I couldn’t fully engage. (Once I think “Well, I could do this,” it’s usually over for me.)

I highlighted many passages in Jamie Wright’s excellent The Very Worst Missionary, including the following, which sums up my apprehensions about my own past, present, and future writing:

I think anyone who has experienced a major personal or theological shift can understand exactly why book writing freaks me the f— out. It’s because our beliefs tend to change over time, so much that in many ways I’m not even the same person I was when I first fell in love with Jesus. I mean, if I met 1998 Christian me, with her gold-cross necklace and her mom bob and her cheap, cheesy platitudes today? I’d probably give her the finger. That’s the inherent problem with writing a book centered on life and faith. It’s that, in the end, my own perception of God is subjective and insufficient and ever changing. I’m still in the middle of this process and I will undoubtedly continue to change, but this book won’t be changing with me. In ten years this is all just gonna be a big fat public record of how dumb I was when I wrote it, so I might as well just get the apologies out of the way right now.

 

Listening:

Ryan O’Neal aka Sleeping at Last released his Enneagram Six song this month. The song, the podcast episode about it, and Elicia Edijanto’s art all got me emotional.

 

Watching:

I’m still trucking through season 1 of The Bold Type. It’s so much fun and has inspired me to be more focused at work and in general. I love the strength of the girls’ friendship and the timely themes; Sutton is my favorite; I want to work for Jacqueline.

Netflix’s To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before lived up to my high expectations. The books by Jenny Han have a special warmth about them, and it all translated to the movie. Perfect casting, perfect sets, best entry yet in the new era of romcoms!

If you’ve been around a while, you know I purposely keep my entertainment pretty light. Violence, crime, and people generally being terrible to each other are not my jam, which has left me out of a lot of cultural touchstones this decade (including the Bachelor franchise, which I put in the latter category). Meanwhile, like most people, Taylor was a huge Breaking Bad fan and now watches Better Call Saul. He thought I’d like the legal angle, so I watched one episode and thought it was pretty good, and now we have appointment viewing together. We’ll see if he’s willing to watch some This Is Us with me next month. ;)

 

Tech:

Two great app discoveries this month – Libib, which indexes your home library by scanning the barcodes on your books, and PlantSnap, the “Shazam for plants” I’ve been looking for (so far its guesses have been a little off, but that might be user error).

For spiritual development, I tried both the Daily Office app and the Our Bible app, but neither was exactly what I was looking for. Does anyone know of something that has the daily office with readings included?

 

Travel:

We went to Miami for a long weekend! Taylor had never been, and I hadn’t visited since last June, which is a while for me. We stayed on the north end of Miami Beach and went all in on an oceanfront balcony room, where we watched many sunrises and moonrises:

watched the Braves beat the Marlins (the reason we chose that weekend for the trip):

hung out with my grandparents:

went to Wynwood:

enjoyed local food and drinks (though we struggled to find good restaurants in that area, need to research better next time):

toured the Everglades at Shark Valley Road (I want to check out the other visitor centers too):

and generally soaked up the city, with a side trip to my fave, Hollywood Beach.

 

At Home:

I had fun filling Taylor’s front porch with new plants this month. Due to the lateness in the summer (not much available) and my inexperience with the light situation on the porch, it was a little challenging. I stuck to a white and purple/blue color palette and almost all perennials. Unfortunately, about half of them are looking rough already. We’ll see what survives. Gardening in a new space is by nature a crapshoot.

At my house, my mom surprised me with a huge new plant by the front door, and new mulch for my garden beds! She mulched over a failed grass experiment I had going and it looks much better now. I seriously had been despairing over the state of my own patio area the night before. Also, I don’t remember planting any caladiums, but two little ones have popped up outside my gate and it makes me happy to see them.

 

Wearing:

In summer I live in multiple pairs of cheap, unsupportive flat sandals. They all kill my feet now, thanks to what I’m pretty sure is plantar fasciitis (#ThisIs39). So I’m trying to downsize to a few pairs of quality sandals. On the boardwalk at Hollywood, I impulse-splurged on some Olukai flip-flops. They’re not work-appropriate, but they cradle my feet and support my high arches. I am now eyeing their other styles (I need silver sandals – taking recs!).

 

Beauty:

August skincare update: I used up the vitamin C serum I was applying at night and switched to Paula’s Choice Calm Redness Relief Repairing Serum. Apparently it takes a month or so to kick in, so I’ll report back. After reading some reviews, I also picked up the Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid, which I’m now alternating with the Clear Extra Strength Daily Skin Clearing Treatment for day.

Q3 update: The overall condition of my skin has improved a lot (I’d even call it glowy on a good day), and is less oily than it was in January. But despite everything, I’m still breaking out. My chin area is never clear, and hotspots pop up in other places too. It’s frustrating and embarrassing. I feel like I’ve tried everything and am slowly coming to the conclusion that whatever’s left is hormonal and there’s nothing more I can do. The only upside to an adolescent complexion is looking young. A 20something woman I met at a party flipped out when she found out I’m 39, and demanded a list of everything I’m using on my face. (God bless her!!)

Alanna gave me some Glamglow Mud Mask! After one use I’m not sure how much it did, but it smells like Thin Mints and feels very refreshing.

My birthday freebie from Ulta was a mini IT Cosmetics Superhero Mascara, which turned out to be fantastic – better than Benefit They’re Real, which I tried earlier this year. I’ve also been using the Revolution Reloaded Division Palette almost exclusively. I thinned out my palette collection this month, but this one isn’t going anywhere!

As much as I switch up my skincare, I’ve stuck to the same hairstyling products for years. But this month I tried a few lighter-hold gels for a more low-maintenance look. I’ve gone through almost a whole bottle of L’oreal Ever Curl Sculpt & Hold Cream Gel. I also liked Garnier Curl Sculpt Conditioning Cream, which I used on vacation. But neither of them were quite holy grail status, so I think I’m going back to my old routine for now. As with clothes, the exact thing I want doesn’t seem to exist in the marketplace.

 

Random Happiness:

Taylor has a lot of random small appliances from his last job, and has been unpacking them at the new house. The best one is this movie-style popcorn maker. We inaugurated it at my birthday party and have been using it a lot. He also gave me a Bluetooth water bottle that connects to health apps and flashes a light to remind you to drink. I’m still figuring out that part, but at the very least, it’s my favorite color and has a great ergonomic design.

My other birthday present from Taylor was this framed photo he took of me on a mountain in Georgia. The weekend before, we got to talking about One Word and he asked me again about my word for this year. Turns out he was making sure he had it right. He wrote Fearless on the wrapping paper and says it’s also written on the back of the print. I have never felt so seen by a man, and that was the best gift of all. ♥

I also finally got my notary stamp and have begun notarizing documents! #official

 

Wellness:

I’ve started kicking off my weekdays with Yoga with Adriene. Making this a practice also gets me up and moving in a timely manner, instead of lying there on my phone for another half hour, which was a problem in itself (it’s not healthy to be riled up before you even get out of bed). I rarely have more than 20 minutes, so I start with the shorter videos on the current month’s playlist and go from there. It’s not impressive, but it makes me feel good and that’s something. Plus, Rufus loves it.

 

Your Monthly Rufus:

Rufus paid his first visits to Taylor’s house. His uncertain adjustment period is shorter each time, and now he’s usually frolicking within a few minutes. Soon we’ll see how he does on the porch! Other highlights of his month include lounging cutely in his favorite bed, and facing off with another neighborhood cat.

 

On the Blog:

I wrote about missing back-to-school and learning to say no. (In response to the first post, Debra gave me a three-subject notebook and some new pens. ♥)

 

Good Reads:

♥ A brief history of Memphis’s Tennessee Oilers: Jay Busbee at Yahoo Sports: The City That Hated Its NFL Team

♥ Jody Casella: I Wrote a Book about Elvis Once

♥ Monica Hesse in the WaPo: Cynthia Nixon asked to turn down the AC. It isn’t silly. It’s symbolic.

♥ Bailey Steger: Happy Couples Don’t Give 110%

♥ Beth Watkins at The Salt Collective: For My Immigrant Husband & Refugee Friends, the Damage is Already Done

♥ Emma Pattee at The Billfold: The Cost of Canceling Our Wedding (note: not a sad story; they still got married)

A few for my fellow HGTV fans:

♥ Kate Wagner at Citylab: Death to the Open Floor Plan

♥ Kelle Hampton: Bliss Tour: Northern Michigan Tiny Cottage and Gardens

♥ Hooked on Houses: Bella Swan’s House is for Sale in Oregon

 

3 Comments + Posted in: birthday, what i'm into

For years, I’ve been working on establishing personal boundaries and learning to say no. I still have a long way to go. My episode of burnout gave me the ability to say a strong no to commitments that I know would drain me – the consequences to my overall health aren’t worth another nod of approval. But I’ve never once done so without guilt. After all this internal work, I still don’t feel entitled to more than the bare minimum of margin that will keep me healthy.

Relationships take time and work. Being part of a community of any kind takes time and work. You can’t make a lifelong habit of saying no to everything. However, I’m trying to take the following into account to help me choose my no’s responsibly:

♥ Am I a person to this person asking me to do something, or am I a commodity? If the asker cares about you, they will trust your judgment if you need to say no to an activity or commitment for your own well-being. They might not even demand an explanation. They might even ask if you, yourself, need help!! But if the asker is just looking for a higher head count and/or free labor… not so much.

♥ Most people will accept whatever you can give, even if it’s not as much as they wanted. I’ve been making a practice of saying “I can’t commit to this long-term thing, but I can help with this one event.” “I can’t respond to every fundraising request I receive, but I can give some money to these few people.” Some is better than none. If someone has a problem with that, you do not need their toxicity in your life.

♥ The world, the church, your causes, your job, and even your own loved ones are capable of taking and taking and taking from you, without a second thought, for as long as you let them. It can be malicious, but most of the time it’s just myopia and cluelessness. You MUST be your own gatekeeper and use your own voice. It is YOUR responsibility to draw your own boundaries. It’s not selfishness. It’s self-preservation. It’s believing that the person you are when you’re operating at full capacity is worth protecting. Christian women are at a disadvantage in this area, because many of us were taught boundaries were sinful, or God would grant us divine strength, or even that he wanted us to burn our selves away on an endless pyre of sacrifice. But here’s what I’ve learned: The Giving Tree is not an aspirational tale.

I’m tired of carrying a heavy load of guilt and shame over every no I say. Realizing that my bare minimum has turned out to be more than I thought, and I have less of it than I did a year ago: shame. Realizing I have to respect my introversion, after being programmed from birth to ignore and reject it: shame. Accepting this reality as a thirtysomething unmarried non-mother, whom society depicts as rolling like Scrooge McDuck in a vault of unlimited time, money, and energy: more shame. (PS, I’m still ramping up to writing a long-percolating post on Childfree Guilt.) I know I’m surrounded by people who feel the same way, and I hope these words make you feel a little less alone, and that these guideposts help you as they’re helping me. We’ll all get there together, one no at a time.

3 Comments + Posted in: empowerment

 

Today is the first day of school here in Memphis. Although I’m a summer person, I’m also a nerd, so as a kid I looked forward to this day and all the back-to-school rituals. Picking out multicolored pens (the brighter the better) and fresh notebooks that I knew would be full of doodles and notes by the end of the year was so satisfying. I’d discuss the roster of potential teachers with my friends and look through the yearbook wondering who might be in my class. For the last week or two of summer, I got to revel in possibilities, hopes that this year I’d improve my social status and be a better version of myself. As the first day of school fell earlier and earlier, it started to overlap with my birthday, compounding the new year-new me effect. I was a year older, a year closer to being taken seriously, a year closer to finally growing into my looks as adults assured me I would (unfortunately for young-me, my awkward stage didn’t end until I was 30). It was also one of the only times that I got to shop for a few new clothes, which I hoped reflected increased style and sophistication, honed by obsessively rereading old issues of YM and Sassy.

Back-to-school in my college years was the best – all the fresh-start feelings minus the tween angst. I had a full scholarship and parents who helped me with bills. I lived in the dorm with my two best friends, moved in several social circles, and never lacked for something fun to do. I was a good student and loved my classes, my major, and my university in general. Of course, I experienced occasional relational drama that was very important at the time, but overall, it was a charmed life. Going back to campus every August felt like going home, like Daveed Diggs bursting into Act II of Hamilton singing “What’d I miss?!?” And every August, I was one year closer to having a degree and being a real adult.

I didn’t realize that adult life offers few fresh starts, and the ones we get are weightier and more complicated than the first day of school. I miss that regular, scheduled sense of anticipation. But more than that, I miss the assurance of success and advancement as long as I showed up and did the work. I never had to wonder if I was headed in the right direction or getting closer to my goals. Just by existing, I was perpetually moving upward and outward. Every May, I got the satisfaction of checking off another box. I knew exactly where I came from and where I was going.

In adult life, you can chase your own tail for years or decades and not even know it. You can go down the right path and end up back at square one. You can follow all the rules and go unnoticed and uncelebrated. Worst of all, you can have no idea what you’re supposed to do in the first place. Here at the end of my 30s, I still haven’t totally made peace with this loss. I’m a freer woman than I used to be, and though you wouldn’t know it by my behavior sometimes, I no longer believe perfection is the goal of life. I’m learning to embrace the winding road. I have no five-year plan and am not sure I ever will again. But part of me will always long for the structure of school, for the hope and certainty of a brand-new three-subject college-ruled notebook.

3 Comments + Posted in: memory lane, reflections

Main Events:

The 4th of July week brought our semiannual family gathering (minus my BIL Lance). This visit was extra special because Kevin and Stefanie moved out west soon after, and we don’t know when we’ll see them again. We went to the Bartlett fireworks per tradition – best display yet! On the evening of the actual 4th, Taylor and I watched the downtown fireworks from the top of a parking garage, which I guess is our tradition now. They were good, but the sunset was a better show.

We also had a fun double date to Railgarten with Kevin and Stef. :)

Taylor finally moved into his new house near me last weekend! The renovations took double the expected time, but now the worst is past and the house looks beautiful. Although I’m still living in my own place right now, I got to be very involved in this process and he’s encouraged me to feel some ownership too. Secondhand downtown living was fun, but I’m happy and excited for this new chapter!

Goodbye, downtown view

 

Reading:

My best and worst reads for July both surprised me. Claudia Gray’s Leia: Princess of Alderaan was relevant and a joy to read, bringing new nuance to young Leia and other Star Wars characters. Meanwhile, I was so sure I’d love the epistolary Hey Ladies!, I bought it at full price. Most of the characters turned out to be so unbearable, I only finished it out of perverse curiosity. I rarely dislike a book enough to say so. Maybe I’m just old.

I also finally read The Geography of Genius (sequel to one of my faves, The Geography of Bliss); Lois Lowry’s short memoir, Looking Back; and Friendkeeping, which I thoroughly enjoyed because I’m a little obsessed with Jancee Dunn’s and Julie Klam’s bromance. (Why is there still no female equivalent to bromance?)

 

Listening:

Speaking of feeling old… my non-radio music source in my car is a trusty 8GB iPod nano from the mid-aughts. Since I maxed it out long ago, loading new music onto it is an arduous task, but results in a lot of excitement when I do get new songs. My recent update included “I’d Rather Be Me” from the new Mean Girls musical, which I initially listened to several times in a row. I also loaded up on Courtney Barnett songs. Although their styles are very different, the unflinching, yet somehow optimistic, undertone of her lyrics reminds me of Sia. I think I need recommendations for more Australian artists!

As always, you can find my 2018 playlist in process on Spotify.

 

Watching:

The Bold Type is my new favorite show to watch on the elliptical. I’m only a couple of episodes in because the wifi at my gym has gotten spotty, but so far it lives up to the hype! It is racy, but if you were okay with Sex and the City, you’ll be okay with this. Another much-hyped July watch was Hannah Gadsby’s standup special Nanette. Gadsby said in Elle, “I don’t think of Nanette as being a comedy show – I see it as a sledgehammer.” I can’t think of a better description than that. It is powerful.

 

Around Town:

This month’s Supper Club was in a fancy suite at the Redbirds on a fireworks night. The fireworks there are impressive, but at the finale there were so many at once I actually got scared – and I wasn’t the only one!! The following week Wes, Kelsey, and I met up for Christmas in July at the Flying Saucer. I love that we all had tacky Christmas sweaters readily available in the middle of summer.

 

At Home:

Thanks to Stefanie’s eagle eye, I found a fiddle-leaf fig tree on deep clearance at Kroger, and got a basket to put it in. So far so good. Other than that, my domestic energy was totally focused on Taylor’s new house this month. We spent most of the weekends working on landscaping and picking up materials for the contractors. The front and back yards still have a long way to go, but we reached a good baseline! My weed- and vine-pulling artistry has grown by leaps and bounds. I’ve been parading around the yard with my conquests every time I get a big taproot out of the ground intact.

 

Eating:

This corn, walnut, and feta salad is one of my favorite summer dinners – if you’re in a hurry, you can use a bag of frozen corn and throw it together in five minutes. I also continue to consume endless faux Moscow mules in my copper mugs. Does anyone have an inside track on budget ginger beer? I tried substituting good ginger ale, and it was NOT THE SAME.

 

Making:

The idea for this 4th of July shirt came to me suddenly, after I decided I probably couldn’t show up at suburban fireworks in a red, white, and blue RESIST t-shirt. I printed a stencil and painted it in about ten minutes (got the plain red tee at Kohl’s), and am very happy with it!

 

Wearing:

While shopping remains frustrating, I did have my most successful Goodwill haul in years, and found some desperately needed cropped cardigans at, of all places, Stein Mart. My mom was there with me, and we held up the exact same cardigan to each other at the exact same time, then laughed hysterically. It was our most TGIF Sitcom Theme Song moment ever.

I had a defining moment this month when I went to Macy’s in search of black pants for work, tried on eight pairs, and hated them all. Instead I bought a girly gray and yellow dress that made me happy as soon as I put it on. I’ve been semi-consciously trying to fit the aesthetic at my new job, even though they knew who I was when they hired me. This experience renewed my commitment to being authentically myself. Even if most of the other ladies in my building live in black pants, I can wear my dresses and fun, colorful, feminine things and still look professional. And if I can’t succeed as myself, I guess I don’t need success that much.

 

Random Happiness:

The Hallmark Christmas movie Christmas at Graceland, starring Kellie Pickler, filmed here all July! One of the sets was in my neighborhood. I’m not a Hallmark Christmas fan, but I’ll watch this one, if only out of respect for the actors who filmed in parkas and knit hats when it was over 90 degrees.

My nieces are visiting this week. My mom and I took them to Overton Square, where they loved the bird mural.

In May I sent in my application to become a notary. This month it was approved and I went to the county clerk’s office to get sworn in! While I realize no actual skill is involved in becoming a notary, I am now officially sworn to protect and defend the Constitution, which makes me feel pretty badass.

My church invited me to be on the rotation to serve Communion, which is my favorite church task, at least the way we do it. It’s very moving for me to reassure a bunch of distinct individuals that Christ gave himself for them, and in the process, be reminded myself. I love being a part of that. Crazy that at any church I’ve attended before this, I wouldn’t have been allowed.

 

Wellness:

As a summer person, this is hard for me to accept, but I think I have a touch of summer SAD. This is a charmed moment in my life and I’m very happy… but I keep getting hit by waves of overwhelm and frustration with myself. I know, that’s a constant for me, but it’s been worse than usual. I feel sluggish, unmotivated, and like everything is harder than it ought to be. Hopefully things will improve in August with Taylor being settled in, birthday month, a vacation, and being more on track with eating and exercising.

 

Your Monthly Rufus:

I put out birdseed for the first time in a while, and sure enough, a squirrel has been eating all the seed and boldly hanging around my patio, often right in Rufus’s face. I’d let him out to get it, but I’m afraid he’d fly right off the balcony in the heat of the chase.

Rufus got microchipped this month. I’d always felt weird about the practice – Alanna correctly observed that it felt “mark-of-the-beasty” – but decided I needed it done for my peace of mind. Taylor and I want Rufus to spend time at the house and on the big front porch with us. His street is quieter than mine and safer for cats to roam around a little. We’ll see how it goes. There are multiple indoor/outdoor cats just on that block, so I’ll be getting the popcorn ready!

 

LOL of the Month (source unknown):

 

Your Moment of Zen:

Good Reads:

♥ Kris Gage: Good Love is “Boring” **multiple praise hands**

♥ Laura Tremaine: We don’t talk enough about anxiety after happiness.

♥ Margaret Felice: Teach us to number our days aright

♥ Mara Wilson in Elle: Allison Mack and Me (I was a huge Smallville fan and am continually transfixed by this story)

♥ Megan Garber in The Atlantic: Two Strangers Met on a Plane—and the Internet Ruined It

♥ Modern Mrs. Darcy: The Enneagram types of your favorite books, characters, and authors

♥ Jamie at To Love and Be Seen: Celebrate the two steps.

♥ Heather Caliri at The Mudroom: Prayer Requests Make Me Anxious

♥ Jody Casella: I didn’t notice her foot was raised

 

1 Comment + Posted in: what i'm into

Main Events:

June may be the most perfect month of the year. It’s summer, and you still have summer ahead of you – as soon as I hit July, it feels like it’s slipping through my hands (no thanks to stores who put out back-to-school on July 5). So June is my month of promise.

This June was an eventful one. Right as it was dawning, my longtime boss from my old job, Janell, passed away. I’ve never seen anyone fight cancer with so much tenacity and determination. After years in and out of treatment, she had been hanging on and even going to work, but went downhill quickly and suddenly. The department had a visitation of sorts for her at my old company, and I was thankful to be invited. She managed me in one way or another for 16 years. Even though I didn’t see her every day anymore, it still feels weird to be in a world without Janell in it.

On a much happier note, a small lifelong dream came true this month. My church, which has met in a school for years, moved into a historic church in my own neighborhood. I’ve spent much of my life living a 30-minute drive from church. Now I can walk there, and intend to keep doing so at every opportunity. I didn’t think being in a real church building mattered that much to me – there were many things I liked about us not being encumbered with one – but it does. People have been worshiping there for 90 years, and I can seriously feel it in the walls. This move feels like an outward reflection of our continuing evolution and growth as a church. Personally, it’s been like a sinus cocktail shot for my faith. I feel more energized and engaged and less cynical than I have in years… like God is doing a brand new thing. I’m even reading the Bible on my own again, and it’s actually making me feel surer of where I stand right now.

I am constantly exhausted by what’s going on in our country. I plan to participate in the Families Belong Together march tomorrow, and am looking for manageable volunteer opportunities to help immigrants, register people to vote, etc. I’m also living in the tension of one of the personally happiest periods of my life occurring simultaneously with the most ominous period of history my generation has seen. On the micro level, for the first time, I have everything I need – a stable relationship with a wonderful man, a good job, financial security, security with myself, health and strength, friends and family, true community both geographical and relational. I feel so lucky and have moments of overwhelming thankfulness. Then I turn on any electronic device and remember the suffering happening on the macro level, and the real threat most of us face of losing our freedom and safety. What a time to be alive.

 

Reading:

If you share my perspective on current events, Timothy Snyder’s short book On Tyranny will help you. Snyder, a historian and Holocaust expert, provides 20 concrete things you can do to combat and cope with encroaching fascism. He sugarcoats nothing, yet is somehow encouraging.

On a lighter note, I loved Patience Bloom’s long and winding love story in Romance is My Day Job, appreciated Mara Wilson’s memoir, and underlined much of Hannah Brencher’s latest, Come Matter Here. More about the Enneagram book below.

 

Listening:

I’ve had satellite radio for years, but even with hundreds of channels, I feel like I’m hearing the same ten songs over and over. I decided to discover my birth decade and added the 70s channel and Yacht Rock to my presets. It’s refreshing!

 

Watching:

We went to a late showing of the new Jurassic World. I really liked it – I’m not super particular about my dinosaur movies. For Father’s Day, my family saw Ocean’s 8. At the very end, a guy behind us asked, “Who’s Danny Ocean?” Um… are you in the wrong theater, sir? There are so many good movies out right now. I’m hoping to see more in the next few weeks!

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt keeps getting better and racking up quotable lines. I’m now caught up and am glad we still have one more half-season to come!

 

Around Town:

Operation Broken Silence did a speakeasy theme for their annual Good People Good Beer gala. I had a flapper outfit ready to go, since we had a 20’s party last summer at my old job. Per tradition, my friend Ashley was my date.

Despite swearing off group runs, I went to a St. Jude-sponsored one for Global Running Day. It started and ended at Loflin Yard, where I tried canned wine for the first time. Heads up, the can is the equivalent of 2-3 glasses (the rosé is light though!).

Taylor and I went to the Grizzlies NBA Draft party. I don’t know much about our pick, Jaren Jackson Jr., but he seems all right and like he’ll fit in well here.

We have new stations to rent bikes and scooters all over the city, and it’s been fun to see so many people zipping around! Overton Square is a hub. They also have hula hoops, cornhole, and other things out for everyone to enjoy.

 

At Home:

My Sputnik-y new light fixture from my dining room is much brighter than my old pendant fixture, and the closeness to the ceiling makes the room feel more open! It felt wasteful to get rid of something that worked and was fine, but I needed the change. (I tried to sell the old one on Facebook Marketplace, only for it to break in the trunk of my car.)

My patio hadn’t been pressure washed in three years. I hired a friend to clean it and it looks fantastic! My HOA had our peeling wrought iron gates repainted the same week.

Taylor closed on his new old house, which is currently being renovated. It needed a lot of cosmetic updates, and after my eight-year experience DIYing a house an inch at a time, I’m thankful for his willingness to hire professionals. I insisted on being in charge of gardening, and his yard is full of plants I’ve never seen before/can’t identify (I need Shazam for plants!!). However, I did identify poison ivy climbing aggressively onto the porch. Not something you expect to find in the middle of the city. I hit it with a strong poison and I think (hope) the contractor is handling the removal!

 

Cooking/Eating:

Summer home cooking for me means lots of salads and ice cream. I’ve been standing by my old faithfuls, Smitten Kitchen and Jennifer Chandler’s Simply Salads cookbook. I also grill food whenever possible – grilling halved peaches is another favorite summer thing. And now that it’s really hot, I’m downing a lot of faux Moscow Mules (basically diet ginger beer in a mule mug with some lime juice and fresh mint).

In a halfhearted cutback on dairy to see if it helps my skin, I’m alternating regular and almond milk creamer for my coffee, sometimes buy the dairy-free Halo Top, and am being more mindful about cheese. The dairy-free options are actually delicious, but expensive.

 

Wearing:

Fashion is a big part of my self-care these days. I kept two dresses and a top from my StitchFix this month – one was this gorgeously patterned maxi dress, which I had to have even though it’s too long (I’d have exchanged for petite if that was an option). I fake-hemmed it and another new maxi dress with fusible tape, but both hems are already falling out, so I guess I have to learn how to sew stretch knits! TIPS WELCOME.

On the rare occasion I find something in a store that really excites me, it usually doesn’t work on my body type. The last few years especially haven’t been kind to hourglass figures (or warm skin tones). At the end of another fruitless shopping trip this month, I discovered a dress at J. Crew that seemed custom-made for me, in multiple colors and prints that made me swoon. Sadly, it was too short and girlish for the office, and I won’t spend that much on dresses I can’t wear to work. I’ll probably get the pale blue one on sale, though.

I found two great pairs of sandals at Macy’s that I hadn’t seen anywhere else. The brown flats are Santana (similar to sandals my niece has that I wish came in adult sizes). The silver wedges are super comfortable and work with everything. Steal of the month!

 

Beauty:

My K-beauty consultant Esther told me I need a toner with BHAs, so when my Effaclar toner ran out, I replaced it with Benton Aloe BHA Toner. So far I haven’t noticed much difference either way. I also ordered a moisturizer she recommended from Korea and am LOVING it. Finally, after much consideration, I got an Elera. It’s a spatula thing that exfoliates your face with hypersonic sound waves. The infomercial racket potential seemed high, but it’s cleared up my forehead, which nothing else has been able to do! I use it with my cleanser in the shower.

I investigated the world of dry shampoo and ended up getting OGX Tea Tree Refreshing Scalp Treatment instead. It comes in a little green bottle. I can stretch an extra day between washings if I rub it in before styling. Same effect as dry shampoo without the gunkiness!

 

Random Happiness:

International Yoga Day coincided with McAlister’s Free Tea Day and the summer solstice. So many things I love on the same day!

Taylor’s brother has a really nice new pool, where we plan to spend many weekend afternoons. Ashley also has one at her new place near me. One night we ran and then swam laps in the pool. I felt like Michael Phelps.

Kevin and Stefanie surprised us with a Father’s Day weekend visit and brought their new dog! We didn’t have dogs (or cats) growing up, but I love Grizzly. He’s so sweet and well behaved. He also doesn’t realize how big he is and will lay down in your lap.

Taylor and I went to my friend Jessie’s wedding. She and Matt have been together many years, and I was heartened to witness this special moment in their story.

 

Wellness:

My church hosted an all-day Enneacamp with Sacred Enneagram author Chris Heuertz. It was fascinating, and a lot of fun to nerd out about it unabashedly with friends. Most of what he covered is in the book, which I bought immediately. I’ve read the Richard Rohr book, but Chris talked about things I’ve never heard before. I’ve always been into personality stuff mainly because it gives me tools to understand, relate with, and love people better. More than any other system, the Enneagram is helping me truly see and accept people for what they are. (Realizing my dad and sister are both Eights has been pretty revelatory.)

I’m a Six, if I’ve never mentioned that here before, and it’s pretty definitive. I can look back and see how I was a Six from my earliest memories. Lately I’ve wondered about Four (which is the most common type for INFJs), but the mistyping guide in the back of Chris’s book cleared that right up for me. And in fact, second-guessing is just more proof of my Sixness.

 

Your Monthly Rufus:

Cats shed sooo much in hot weather. At the pet store getting Rufus a new feather toy, thinking of all the fur I’d found around the house that morning, I impulse-bought a Furminator. This thing is LIFE-CHANGING. It pulls out all the loose undercoat – I couldn’t believe how much fur came off Rufus in the first session. We’ve started a daily brushing routine, and if I forget, he stands at the door and meows at me till I figure it out. He looks very sleek and seems happier. Worth every penny.

 

Quote of the Month:

 

On The Blog:

After seeing a lot of book recommendation requests from friends preparing for vacations, I put together a list of good summer reads. There should be something for everyone.

 

Good Reads:

♥ Alison Gary: Do You Have a Toxic Friendship with Your Closet?

♥ Lore Wilbert: I Feel Called to Write. Now What?

♥ Lydia Kiesling at The Cut: The Evolution of a Mormon Mommy Blogger

♥ Sarabeth Caplin: This Is How It Starts

♥ Samantha Field: Disappointment Is the Guide to Happiness

♥ Abby Norman: I’m a Pastor on Prozac

♥ Rhonda Garelick at The Cut: The Jacket Heard Round the World

♥ Kelly Youngblood: Do You Know Your Worth?

 

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