As people get ready for summer vacations, I’ve seen a lot of requests for book recommendations floating around. Rather than leave a million comments, I thought I’d throw together a list for summery, light reading that’s a little off the beaten path (many of these books have been out for years). If you’re looking for a more specific type of book, I can probably find it for you, so ask in the comments!
FICTION
Forget About It by Caprice Crane – Jordan is a miserable, passive doormat until she sustains a head injury in a bike accident. Seizing a chance to start over, she tells everyone she has amnesia and starts asserting herself. Then life throws her another curve ball. I love clean-slate, go-for-broke plots, and the twist in this one makes it even better.
The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan – The best thinly veiled Will and Kate fanfic you will ever read (with Kate recast as an American, making it perfect for our current Meghan Markle moment). It’s witty and fun, and the authors deserve some sort of award for the detailed alternate royal lineage they created.
Tempest by Julie Cross – Not long after Jackson discovers he can time travel, a stranger bursts into his dorm room and fatally shoots his girlfriend Holly. He freaks out and travels two years into the past, where he starts with two objectives: find and protect Holly, and enlist the help of his best friend. But the more he learns about his abilities and mysterious family history, the more complicated and suspenseful things get. First of a YA series that has stuck with me for years. (Three two zero zero.)
Stiltsville by Susanna Daniel – A quiet novel about a woman’s life and marriage in Miami from the 1960’s through the 90’s, centering on a house on stilts in Biscayne Bay. It perfectly captures the evolving atmosphere of South Florida.
Sweetbitter by Stephanie Danler – This is my wild-card choice because in the end, I couldn’t decide whether I truly liked this book or the protagonist. But it was hard to put down and definitely made an impression. A young woman moves to New York, gets a job in a high-end restaurant, and gets entangled in her co-workers’ dysfunctional relationship. It’s now a show on Starz, so this is a good time to read it!
Sleeping Giants by Sylvain Neuvel – I know I won’t shut up about this series, but I still think it’s that entertaining. It’s like Transformers meets National Treasure meets Contact in a semi-epistolary format. The third book comes out in a few months.
Flat-Out Love by Jessica Park – When Julie arrives in Boston for her freshman year of college, her mother’s former roommate takes her in, and Julie is suddenly part of their unusual family: kind-but-exasperating MIT student Matt, precocious and quirky preteen Celeste… and a life-sized cutout of their older brother, Finn, who is away on a long international trip. That’s all you need to know. First in a duology.
Secret Society Girl by Diana Peterfreund – As one of the first female initiates in an Ivy League secret society, Amy has a lot to navigate. First in a series of four smart beach reads. Diana Peterfreund is very underrated, and I’d recommend any of her books.
Maybe in Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid – Hannah returns to her hometown of Los Angeles to live with her best friend. At a party, she reconnects with The One Who Got Away, and the story splits. In one version, she goes home with him; in the other, she doesn’t. This is deceptively light, but will make you think about life and the decisions we make.
Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter – If you love Italy, personal WWII stories, true Hollywood stories, and redemption, this is the novel for you. It covers a period of about 50 years.
In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner – A tale of two very different sisters. Many years ago, this was the first Jennifer Weiner book I read, and I still think it’s her best. The movie is on my short list of best book-to-movie adaptations, along with the following…
The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger – This workplace Cinderella story with an edge seems too ubiquitous to include on a list, but I still love it. If you’ve somehow never read this, get on it.
NONFICTION
Life in Motion: An Unlikely Ballerina by Misty Copeland and Charisse Jones – Misty Copeland was/is American Ballet Theatre’s first African-American principal ballerina. She also didn’t start dancing until she was 13! For those reasons and many others, hers is an inspiring story.
But Enough About Me: A Jersey Girl’s Unlikely Adventures Among the Absurdly Famous by Jancee Dunn – One of my favorite books. A funny, engagingly told life story, from Dunn’s childhood to becoming one of the first VJs on MTV2, and beyond. The chapters are interspersed with pieces about some of her favorite celebrity interviews. Dunn is totally unpretentious despite her many brushes with fame, and I just feel comfortable in her words.
Shooting Stars by LeBron James and H.G. Bissinger – When people give me a hard time for being an unabashed LeBron fan, I always mention this book. At around 13 years old, he and his four best friends made a pact to stick together through high school and win a national championship together – and they did. As Taylor has commented, that’s less impressive when one of the players is LeBron James, but I still find it heartwarming.
Scrappy Little Nobody by Anna Kendrick – A hilarious, dishy, and wise collection of essays. I related to a lot of Kendrick’s feelings and observations, even if I can’t relate to losing a Tony to Audra McDonald.
Take This Bread: A Radical Conversion by Sara Miles – Within a year of walking into a church for the first time, Sara Miles started a food pantry at St. Gregory’s Episcopal Church that provided groceries to hundreds weekly. I was very struck by this memoir and still think about it a lot. It’s probably the heaviest book on this list, but still ultimately uplifting.
Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist – Summer is a good time to think about simplifying and slowing down, and this book will help you do that.
Failing Up: How to Take Risks, Aim Higher, and Never Stop Learning by Leslie Odom Jr. – The original Aaron Burr shares his story, Hamilton info, and insights about success. I got to attend a signing for this book, and he said he purposely wrote it to be readable in a couple of days, so it’s perfect for your beach vacay.
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed – A compilation of Strayed’s best advice columns as Dear Sugar. Her compassionate, wise words ring true; even if you don’t agree with all her advice, you’ll feel more secure in your own perspective because of what she shares. (For more in this vein, check out Heather Havrilesky’s latest collection of Ask Polly columns.)
The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World by Eric Weiner – I’ve been recommending this memoir/travel guide for years and am due for a reread. Weiner visits the statistically happiest countries on earth (as well as the saddest) to find the reasons for their happiness. This book was one of the main reasons I wanted to go to Iceland! He also has a follow-up, The Geography of Genius, which I haven’t read yet.
1 Comment + Posted in: book reviews, summer
Main Events:
May is my favorite month, and always one of the busiest months of the year! My sister and my older niece both have May birthdays. Fifoo’s party was at the end of April, but my BIL Lance threw Debra a surprise party after the nieces’ dance recital (which she thought was the only reason my parents and I came to town). She was surprised and happy. The recital was fun too – I had no idea the girls went to such a legit dance school. My mom and I exclaimed a little too much during the performance about Fifoo’s excellent arm structure. #danceaunt
Taylor and I celebrated our first (dating) anniversary! Having an anniversary was a big deal to me – for a long time I thought I might never have another one, and I’m so happy to have spent the last year with such a great person. He is kind, responsible, talented, and smart, makes me laugh every day, and never lets me down. ♥ I had been saving a gift certificate to Restaurant Iris, so we had our anniversary dinner there. The atmosphere was very romantic and I’m glad I got to go before they close for remodeling next month.
One more big May event: Taylor bought a house! It’s less than a mile from my house, and has an amazing front porch where I anticipate spending many relaxing hours. He closes next week. We’re both very excited. PS: Midtown real estate is CRAZY. I truly got in under the wire. Taylor went to see one house that looked iffy even from the street, and ten people were in line for showings.
Reading:
Some notable books of May: House of Bradbury, a cozy novel about a writer who moves into Ray Bradbury’s old house and takes in a wayward young starlet; and Kristy Burmeister’s memoir Act Normal, which is infuriating and extremely relevant in our #MeToo, #ChuchToo era. I’m also loving Alyssa Mastromonaco’s memoir of working in the Obama White House – it’s very Mindy Kaling Goes to Washington. Lots of wise insights and relatable moments.
Watching:
After skipping the last couple of seasons, I binge-watched and loved the final season of New Girl. So many good lines. “That’s what you brought us all here to tell us? Why do you always think like a member of the Baby-Sitters Club?”
I saw Avengers: Infinity War by myself on a Monday night, because it was my only opportunity to do so before someone spoiled me. It was… wow. I am still haunted by the ending, and accepting all theories and hot takes.
Travel:
For Memorial Day weekend, Taylor booked a big cabin in north Georgia, and Debra and her family met us there. We went hiking, spent an afternoon in Blue Ridge, and enjoyed the hot tub and creek at the cabin. Everyone had fun, and despite predictions of rain all weekend, it didn’t rain till we were leaving! The trail Taylor and I hiked is part of the Appalachian Trail, so I can now say I’ve done part of the AT. On the way out of town, we also had lunch with some cousins who live in the area.
Around Town:
I got the three-day pass again to Beale Street Music Fest (somewhat against my better judgment – I’m getting old). Friday night was the best: Dashboard Confessional, Third Eye Blind, and Alanis Morrissette!! I’d never seen her live. She killed it and looked happy and light. I’m glad she’s in a good place. On Saturday Taylor went with me to see Vance Joy, (some of) Ludacris, and one of our favorite bands, Incubus. We also, completely randomly, met Dan LeBatard! Taylor is a superfan and recognized him standing near a sponsor tent. We finally approached the group, got a picture, and had a short conversation about why the Pyramid is a Bass Pro Shop. It was pretty epic.
Sunday was a low-key fest day. The main event for me was my first Flaming Lips show, which was like if Willy Wonka had a band instead of a chocolate factory. I also saw Misterwives and part of Odesza before finally hitting my max tolerance for crowds and heading home. I’m bummed that I didn’t make it to any other Memphis in May events this year, especially since the honored country was the Czech Republic, which is ¼ of my heritage. I just had too much going on.
My mom and I have a Mother’s Day tradition of biking or walking around town and taking pictures in front of murals. This year we focused on downtown. We walked for hours, got fancy sodas at A. Schwab, had a fantastic dinner at Pontotoc, then headed back to Midtown to cap off the day at Railgarten.
Taylor and I had our own spontaneous fun evening at Railgarten the day he put the offer on his house. I love that place and am glad we’ll probably be hanging out there more once he’s in the neighborhood. We also hosted a goodbye party for his boss and went to Raiford’s with some of his co-workers, because someone moving away is one of the three acceptable occasions to go to Raiford’s (the others: bachelor/bachelorette party or milestone birthday).
At Home:
Our late/nonexistent spring and excessive rain have been great for plants. My Julia Child rose has never looked so good this late in the game, and everything else is thriving too!
Cooking/Eating:
I’ve discovered Zevia beverages – diet sodas made with stevia. They’re not cheap, but it’s a nice break from regular diet drinks. I got the root beer and plan to try other flavors.
Wearing:
This month I kept a floral blouse, a pair of cropped pants, and a long jade necklace from my Stitch Fix. I put jewelry low on my priority list, but they keep sending me pieces I love! After this next Fix I’m switching to every other month, so that should help stop the financial bleeding.
Beauty:
Ulta finally had Makeup Revolution Conceal and Define in stock, and so far it’s the best concealer I’ve ever used. Perfect coverage and blendability, somehow neither too drying nor too greasy. Every morning I’m amazed by how much better it makes my skin look.
I’ve also gone through half a pack of CosRX Acne Master Patches. While they haven’t made cystic zits disappear overnight, they’ve taken them down a notch. My skincare routine is otherwise unchanged this month. I’m trying to maintain some stability – a bad breakout on our lake trip seemed to indicate my face can’t even handle different water. It’s getting really frustrating.
Your Monthly Rufus:
Rufus turned four this month! I always make him a little birthday hat, and he always refuses to pose with it, then chews it up. I’m thankful for another year with a healthy, happy cat. Because he is so energetic, I haven’t let him outside this month other than daily time on the balcony. A few weeks ago he got over a brick wall and into a neighbor’s jungle-like bushes, and it took me an hour of tears and stress to extract him. I think I’m going to get him microchipped and then reassess the situation.
Quote of the Month:
On The Blog:
Over the years I’ve made many references to my career path or lack thereof, feeling stuck and uncertain, etc., but I had never shared the whole story of how I ended up where I am. This month, feeling fired up to warn and empower younger women, I finally wrote it all out. If I was asked to give a graduation speech, this would probably be it.
Good Reads:
♥ Laura Tremaine: Thoughts on a 6+ Week Social Media Break
♥ Lore Wilbert: The Dirt Reminds Us
♥ Jerry Brewer in the WaPo: Is LeBron James the GOAT? Forget the debate. It’s asking the wrong question.
♥ Laura Turner at Catapult: Missing Hope: A Trio of Miscarriages, and What Happened After
♥ Heather Strong Moore: “This Is America” and the Prophetic Voice
♥ Samantha Field: For Thanos So Loved the World
♥ Angela Klocke: We’ve been through hell but we know how to laugh.
8 Comments + Posted in: what i'm into
I have few true regrets. My experiences have made me who I am today, and I don’t want to know who I’d be without them. When I think about what I would change if I could, I only think about my own poor decisions and behavior. In this month of graduations and Mother’s Day, I want to share the full cautionary tale of my single biggest mistake: not planning for a long-term career.
To say I grew up in a traditional household is an understatement. My father has always been the breadwinner, and though she has a bachelor’s degree, my mom stayed home to raise my two siblings and me. Throughout my childhood, my dad repeatedly imparted to us that a wife should not have to work if she didn’t want to, even if that meant the husband worked several jobs; and that it was flat-out wrong for a mother to work full-time, because kids needed a parent at home. I definitely benefited from my mom’s full attention, and I’m thankful my parents loved us (and each other) and had the means and desire to actually parent us. Thankfully, they also told me from an early age that they expected me to get a college degree. But that degree and any career I would have was framed as a contingency plan, a way to support myself until I started my “real” job of wifehood and motherhood.
In college, I became part of a very conservative Christian denomination. Their teachings about women and submission escalated my dad’s philosophies to a spiritual mandate. When I married, my whole existence would be secondary to what was best for my husband and kids. I bought in, and so at the very moment when I had the most power over the trajectory of my future, I forfeited it. Looking back, I know the bottom line was fear. While I was afraid of poverty if I pursued a career I actively wanted (my natural talents and interests have never lain in lucrative areas), I was equally afraid of finding a career I loved and inevitably having to give it up. If that happened, I might not be able to sacrifice cheerfully. I might resent my family. And I had learned that resentment – and personal ambition – were spiritual poison. So I chose a generic major that I enjoyed, and planned to wait out my remaining single years in a safe office job.
After graduation, I joined a temp agency and shortly landed a permanent position. I didn’t care much about what kind of work it was – I was just happy to have an adult job that paid me enough to get my own place and be independent. At 25, I got married. Around that time, a considerate co-worker took me aside to encourage me to start planning for my future at the company. He asked what areas I might be interested in and talked to me about mentorship and 401Ks. That conversation was another giant road sign that I drove straight past. I appreciated his thoughtfulness and wanted to perform well at my job. But privately, I believed my professional career was almost over. Sure, my husband was still finding himself and relying on my steady income, but soon I’d be able to leave the corporate world, start fulfilling my God-ordained role, and maybe do some creative work on the side. It was right around the corner!
Well, I never made it to the corner. My husband spent the next five years finding himself – in different jobs, different directions, and eventually, different women’s beds. Dealing with all that made me too weary and depressed to take on a career change (the few times I brought up wanting a change, he responded, “Everyone hates their job”). The depression also convinced me I had no marketable skills and no one else would hire me. When my marriage ended, the long, long process of my rebirth began. I decided if career was all I was going to have, this was not enough for the long term. I started pursuing freelance writing and exploring various opportunities within my company and on the side. But I was still unsure of myself, and nothing came of any of it.
I finally reached ten on the pain scale the week of my 35th birthday. A friend accepted an exciting job offer, and I was blindsided by a tidal wave of jealousy and clarity. I suddenly realized I had never confidently gone after anything. I was still playing by the rules I had internalized, being a good girl, submissively marking time in my suburban house and my little cubicle waiting for God to “provide” for me. For the first time ever, I understood my own strength and autonomy. I was ready to burn the old narrative and write a new story for myself. When I talked to my parents about it, they told me that whatever I wanted, they would be there to help me make it happen. Their support was the last push I needed to start upending my life.
Within a year, I had moved into the heart of the city, found a more progressive church, and tried to start dating again. But no career development was panning out, outside or inside my company. In fact, my existing job was becoming more constrained and stressful. I had a panicked sense that a window was starting to close. I couldn’t stop working and go back to school, but I decided to register for the Certified Paralegal exam. My title had just been changed to paralegal, and I saw no downside in trying to become a real one on my own. I’ve always tested well and had nothing to lose except the fee!
Thankfully, I got my CP credential in November 2016 on the first try. With demonstrable proof that I wasn’t a one-trick pony, recruiters suddenly started calling. I believed in my own worth in a new way. When another big corporation invited me to interview, I was hesitant at first. But the people were great, and most importantly, the company seemed truly committed to developing its employees. If nothing else, I would have options for learning and advancement. So, almost six months ago, I accepted their offer and made the jump, knowing it was the next right step.
“The next right step” is my general philosophy these days. I have no idea what my life might look like in five years, or what I might be doing. But I’m fully aware and alert to opportunities, and I don’t intend to let them pass me by. I’m increasingly passionate about calling out a warning to younger women – especially young Christian women. I doubt most of them are as naïve as I was, but I’m compelled to say anyway:
♥ Don’t hide your light under a bushel. You are an individual created in the image of God with unique traits and abilities, some of which might fall outside the narrow confines of what Christian culture defines as a woman’s role. God did not give you those gifts by accident. He does not require your passivity. He does not expect you to make a permanent ghost of yourself in the name of submission and humility. He wants everything you bring to the table, so bring it with confidence.
♥ Don’t hand over the steering wheel. Yes, seek wise counsel and be humble, but YOU are the one who has to live with the outcomes of your decisions, so don’t let anyone decide for you.
♥ Don’t bet everything on factors outside your control. The only path you have any control over is your own. Leave room for hopes and dreams involving other people, but don’t make them your Plan A. Expect to stand on your own two feet.
♥ Don’t expect things to unfold exactly as you plan, even if you plan well. Unforeseen turns are part of what makes life interesting. Be open to changing directions.
♥ Don’t be afraid to fail. Failure is a great teacher and the only way to get really good at anything. Sometimes the right choice involves failure. As my poet laureate Lin-Manuel Miranda once said:
When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game
But you don’t get a win unless you play in the game
Oh, you get love for it. You get hate for it
You get nothing if you wait for it, wait for it
If I’d had this good foundation and some assertiveness at 22, I could have been building something meaningful all this time. I try not to think about the skills I’d have or what I could be achieving right now. I do believe that nothing is wasted, but I still grieve the years I can’t get back and the fact that I will always be behind. The only way I can redeem the time is to encourage others not to make the same mistakes. If you love something, go after it. Take the opportunities that are within your grasp. Be the protagonist of your own life, not just a supporting character in someone else’s. Don’t wait for life to happen to you.
8 Comments + Posted in: career, empowerment, reflections
Main Events:
Easter is becoming one of my favorite holidays as I get older, so it was a great way to kick off April! I hosted my parents, Taylor and his parents, and Brandi and Ashley for the meal, and we all had a great time. My church is observing the whole Easter season this year and I’m loving getting to exclaim “He is risen” for more than the one day.
My older niece is about to turn six. Debra and Lance threw a fantastic Moana birthday party for her last weekend. Six feels like a turning point – closer to ten than to babyhood! I feel like I’m getting my first glimpses at the amazing woman she’s going to become. Her fashion sense also remains impeccable.
I enrolled in Hannah Brencher’s spring writing intensive after the sudden death of a co-worker made me think about my legacy (or lack thereof). I concluded that the only lasting thing I have to give is my words. I finally feel well enough to start tending to them again, but apparently, I need a lot of help getting back on the horse. I had to make a decision a couple of years ago to set writing aside and focus on improving my day job situation. I’ve changed a lot since then, but my approach to writing is still stuck in the same rut. The intensive refreshed my perspective and made trying again seem a little less intimidating. It was also somehow revelatory to be told I should be scheduling regular time to write… something I haven’t done since high school, and don’t know how to do now. Even after deciding that my words matter, it still feels uneconomical (and dangerous) to make time for them. Small moves, I guess.
Reading:
If you love nature and Anne Lamott, you will love Debbie Blue’s Consider the Birds. I bought it at the 2016 Festival of Faith and Writing and just read it this month, but as often happens, I think present-me got more out of it than past-me would have. She describes and shares folklore of various birds, mentions their Biblical references, then suddenly throws out related observations about Jesus that hit you right upside the head. Amazing.
I picked up the novel The President’s Daughter, about a teenage girl whose mother becomes the first woman President, in a Kindle sale. This is worth mentioning because it was originally published in 1984!! I had NO IDEA, and was shocked to discover readers my age reminiscing fondly about it on Goodreads. Upon reflection, there was no internet in the story, but I skimmed right over that because everything else felt current. If you read this and/or the sequels as a kid, please share your take!
Listening:
I’m having a moment with the On Broadway channel on Sirius (making me want to go to NYC even more). My current loves are Dear Evan Hansen, Anastasia, and for no apparent reason, “Impossible” from Cinderella. (It’s inexcusable that no soundtrack was ever released for the Brandy/Whitney Houston version.)
As always, you can hear my 2018 playlist so far on Spotify.
Watching:
I never finished the second season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, so I’ve been catching up on the elliptical. I also started Can’t Cope Won’t Cope, recommended by a blogger I follow. It’s a short series about two best friends in Dublin just reaching the age where partying and making bad decisions really isn’t cute anymore.
Tech:
I’ve been exploring what’s good in the phone app world. Thumbs up: Clue for all my health tracking needs, Forest for concentration and productivity, and the basic Reminders app for lists and to-dos. I also tried PaperKarma to make my junk mail stop, but found out you have to pay a monthly fee after the first ten or so stop requests. (Having a monthly bill for everything in the world is one of my biggest pet peeves lately. Not so long ago, you could pay once for an app that did a thing, and be done with it.)
Around Town:
April 3 was the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination right here in Memphis. People came from all over the world for MLK50 events and observances. I got to go with some co-workers to an exciting luncheon with former Attorney General Eric Holder (new Senator Doug Jones, Jesse Jackson, past and present Memphis mayors, and U of M president Dr. Rudd were also in attendance). I couldn’t make it to the bell ringing at the Civil Rights Museum at the time MLK was shot, but Taylor and I walked over later and paid our respects. In a weird way, I’m thankful to live in a city that forces me to wrestle constantly with racism and injustice. You can’t avoid it here without really willful ignorance. I want to continue growing in awareness and becoming part of the solution.
On a lighter note, I went to another Ignite event (like 5-minute TED talks) all about Memphis food. My middle- and high-school BFF, Amy, was in town and went with me. She visits her mom here a couple of times a year and we always hang out. It was fun to do something different out on the town!
Brandi and I checked out the opening of Hopdoddy, a new burger place from Dallas. We had several new restaurant openings in Midtown this month, and as a city we usually have zero chill about these things. But I’ve been trying to go later and give places more time to work the kinks out. I still love the first-week excitement, though.
I hadn’t attended a Friends trivia in a while, but last week some friends and I finished just short of my third championship. We were tied for first, but lost a tiebreaker about the number of episodes before Gunther spoke. (It was episode 33!! You’re welcome.)
Technically from March but still worth mentioning: I went to a Leslie Odom Jr. book signing at the Orpheum! He read from his book (which is wonderful), did an extended Q&A, sang a song from RENT, and ended with Wait for It. I cried. So inspired by his story and talent.
At Home:
My patio plants took a while to come back to life (we’re having a cool, wet spring), but they’re perking up now! Having determined that my butterfly bush was dead dead, I uprooted it and hit the Botanic Garden plant sale for something to go in its place. I’d spent a few weeks admiring Japanese maples all over town, so when I saw one, I decided to go for it! It’s settling well and now I need to learn how to tend it properly. I’m also happy to report that despite losing limbs and looking raggedy all winter, my two camellias are still alive.
With some help from an interior designer at church, I finally chose tile for my bathroom remodel. One step closer! Fingers crossed for finding a contractor, scheduling the job, and getting a new bathroom by the end of 2018! #whyisthissohard
Making:
I had an urge to letter this month, so I got inspiration from Jessica Hische’s fantastic book about lettering and had fun with my Sharpies. All I’ve really produced so far are my two mantras for 2018… although I also lent some skills to a co-worker’s brainstorming project. She was happy to have pretty signs, and I was happy to get to draw in a work meeting!
Wearing:
In celebration of this excellent moment in Tiger sports (our football and basketball coaches are recruiting out the wazoo), I bought some Tiger blue kitten heels! As we move out of boot season, I may pick up another pair or two from this Journee Collection. Their shoes are comfortable, moderately heeled, and come in a lot of colors.
I got my second StitchFix. This time I kept a navy polka-dot wrap top and some Sputnik-y Kate Spade earrings. Every top and dress they’ve sent me so far has been wrap, so I had to leave a note requesting a little variety.
Revlon Colorstay is officially my go-to polish now. This is What Happens in Vegas. LOVE.
Beauty:
Brenda’s Skincare Reboot, Month 4: A photographer at work told me my skin was beautiful – moment of triumph! But it still has plenty of non-triumphant moments. This month I ran out of Keeva tea tree night cream. Being more educated now than when I started this rodeo, I decided to upgrade to a tea tree retinol serum. It’s very strong and apparently I also need a moisturizer to balance it? I might just get another jar of Keeva and alternate the two. This routine is starting to feel out of hand.
After asking around about a good eyeshadow blending brush, I went with Morphe 331 and have been using it every day. It gives a nice diffuse effect in the crease.
Random Happiness:
April marked three years in my Midtown home! Crazy. I celebrated by going to my first HOA board meeting – I’m on the board now because if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
Every year some yellow-crowned night herons nest in the same yard less than a mile from my house. I’d never managed to see them, but this year I spotted them early and go by frequently! I usually see between three and five herons. They’re hard to photograph with a phone, though.
Wellness:
A few co-workers invited me to a lunchtime Pilates class near our office. I hadn’t done Pilates in about 15 years, but it didn’t kill me and worked all major muscle groups, so I’m going to start going once or twice a week. The reformer machines are cool!
My late yoga studio now has a Facebook group with updates on where everyone is teaching, and I’m hearing about a lot of cool things. One is a paddleboard yoga class, which I went to last week and really enjoyed.
One of my main takeaways from the Hannah Brencher writing intensive was that I have to cut back the media/social media noise in my life. It’s something I was already thinking about a lot. We’re living in a historically unstable time while hooked up to devices designed to work like slot machines. Much of the time I spend scrolling feeds or listening to news leaves me anxious, upset, and/or exhausted. I need space to think and exist without anything yelling at me. I think it would be unwise to disconnect completely, but I’m trying to be a lot more mindful of my habits, more deliberate about my sources, and more quietly present in my life. For years, I felt like the internet was another place I had to be some Liza Minnelli version of myself in order to catch the right people’s attention. Now I have what I was looking for and don’t have to perform anymore.
Your Monthly Rufus:
Rufus looks innocent here, but in April he had one mission: get over the brick wall surrounding our complex. He has now succeeded multiple times, and once it took me twenty minutes to extract him from the neighbor’s plants. He meows continuously for at least an hour a day to let me know he wants to go out. I don’t know what to do about this situation. I can’t get comfortable making him an inside-outside cat here because of the heavy traffic, many large dogs, and many places he could get stuck. I’m fondly remembering the days when he could calmly enjoy the outdoors with me on our patio for hours.
Quote of the Month:
Good Reads:
♥ If you want a basic guide to travel hacking, my friend Bethany is here to hook you up!
♥ Lisa at Beauty on the Backroads: Why I Run in the Rain
♥ Melissa Hawks at Sinners and Rebels: Fix Your Own Mug
♥ Rachel Jepsen at The Cut: Tattoos Are About Change
♥ Kris Gage: How You Know If They’re “The One”
♥ Addie Zierman: Psalm for a Snowy April
♥ Susie Meister: How I Almost Became Tomi Lahren
♥ A powerful story about gender imbalance in China and India: Simon Denyer and Annie Gowen in the WaPo: Too Many Men
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Spring and sunlight are here! We made it, everyone!
Reading:
All my March reads were thought-provoking, and controversial in some way or another – I definitely have enough reflections here for a monthly book review. Discussion welcome! Special mention to You Play The Girl, which was impressively comprehensive, made me angry and sad, yet somehow ended on a hopeful note.
Watching:
I watched Neflix’s Lady Gaga documentary, Five Foot Two, at the gym and had to rewatch her Super Bowl performance immediately after. (Is she the four-iest Enneagram Four ever or what?!) I wouldn’t recommend watching it around kids, but it was fascinating.
Around Town:
Memphis history was made when the U of M named our most famous alum, Penny Hardaway, our new basketball coach!! My joy, excitement, and optimism is not expressible in words, though this comes close. (I also echo this reflection from Jen Clarke.) I had started assembling a Tigers-focused post before the announcement, and might still write it, so I won’t say any more right now.
I saw Wicked with my mom and Taylor’s mom! I read the book yeeears ago, but had never seen the show, and it lived up to the hype for me. (My mom was less impressed. After Defying Gravity: “Why was everyone going so nuts about this song?” Me: “She’s coming into her power! Sticking it to the man!!” Mums: *shrug*)
A group of us enjoyed the St. Patrick’s Day parade on Beale Street. The weather was perfect, so it was a lot livelier and more crowded than last year! The Order of Boll Weevils cracks me up. Once in a while I see them just driving around town in their convertible bus.
Tonight I’m going to see Leslie Odom, Jr. talk about his new book and perform a short set. I get starry-eyed when his Nationwide commercials come on TV, so I expect to be rapturous and/or flailing the whole time. Can’t wait! (Also I’ll be one less degree of separation from Lin-Manuel Miranda!)
At Home:
My plants are coming back to life a little more each day! I’m chomping at the bit to start this year’s planting, but not much is available yet. After one of my DIY spring wreaths broke, I splurged on this pre-made magnolia one at Michaels.
I scored two new duvet covers at a great Pottery Barn Outlet sale. My beloved embroidered bird duvet cover, which a group of my friends gave me after my divorce, has been patched and re-patched and can no longer hold together. I reluctantly found a couple of replacement options and am happy so far with the first one (which, of course, I found in the kids and teens section. So much better than the adult section. They have a whole line of Star Wars bedding!).
Making:
Lately I’ve felt an urge to sew again. I patched some jeans for Taylor, figuring it out as I went. Most traditional sewing methods and patterns frustrate and confuse me, which is why I waited so long to learn. I started following Tilly and the Buttons and want to make every pattern she posts, but I fear it would end in tears. I successfully made a skirt once, but all my other projects have been either rectangle-based or totally freeform. I even messed up hemming my guest room curtains – one is noticeably higher than the other. Math disabilities: still fun in adulthood! Has anyone tried any Tilly patterns?
Wearing:
I won a Stitch Fix giveaway from my favorite fashion blog, Wardrobe Oxygen! I’ve been curious about Stitch Fix for years, but skeptical they could find clothes sight unseen for my proportions… plus it’s not cheap. Well, my first Fix contained one total miss, three cute-but-meh items, and THE BEST WORK PANTS EVER. Slim, slightly cropped trousers are all the rage at my new workplace, and these were exactly what I needed right down to the color (navy). They’re well-made, fit perfectly, and look and feel great. I’d happily shell out for another pair. Looking forward to my next Fix – I still have some credit left! Thanks Allie!
Beauty:
Brenda’s Skincare Reboot, Chapter 3: I’ve settled into a routine* and am seeing some progress! Most of March was the gross “purging” phase I was told to expect, but now whole sections of my forehead are smooth, so I’m hopeful. * = CeraVe foaming cleanser morning and night, followed by La Roche-Posay Effaclar toner, then Paula’s Choice Extra Strength Skin Clearing Treatment for day and Keeva Tea Tree Oil cream at night. Still doing a Skinfood black sugar mask a couple of times a week, and limiting Clarisonic use to once a week, if that.
Random Happiness:
Taylor and I went to our friends Jakob and April’s wedding at a historic home. It was a beautiful ceremony. Later in the month, Taylor won a Lagos silver bracelet at a networking event and surprised me with it. He had casually asked if I’d heard of those, I looked them up and was sort of meh, but thankfully he decided to give it to me anyway and I ended up loving it in person. And of course the gesture meant everything to me.
The best part of my old job was being the Memphis representative for Hilton Suggests, so I was very happy to find out I was a Top Tweeter for 2017 (even after I left!). You better believe that went on my LinkedIn immediately. Still waiting for my call from the Memphis CVB or Chamber of Commerce. ;)
Two friends I admire very much, Myla and Hillary, had babies in March. ♥ I think this personal baby boom is now paused for the moment! Related: I’ve realized my lack of maternal experience makes me a total And-Peggy in baby-related discussions, uncontrollably tossing out every secondhand anecdote I have in an attempt to contribute. Sorry, world. I’m getting it under control.
Wellness:
I successfully completed the Germantown Half-Marathon, aka the Cold Turkey Half because I didn’t train aside from the races that led up to it. Under the circumstances I was happy with my performance! The following week, I created a spreadsheet of all my race results dating back five years. The data confirmed my decision to take a break from distance races and focus on 5Ks and 10Ks. Since my first half in 2016, I’m around 2:30/mile slower across the board. I’m starting a treadmill interval routine that will hopefully help my speed and help get rid of my lovely waistline bulk from starting weight training. (This article saved my sanity last weekend.)
The yoga studio where I was a member for about two years closed this month. I hadn’t had time to go regularly since starting my new job, but I made it to a few classes at the end. It was crazy to think about how much my practice has grown and enriched my life since I started going there, and how much my life has changed in general. Thankfully there are several yoga studios in Midtown, and I can still follow my favorite teachers around as time allows, even if it’s not quite the same.
My team at work took Myers-Briggs as a group, and my INFJ-ness is holding steady. I’m an eternal student of personality systems, so it was fun for me to discuss in a work context – there was a lively discussion of introverts feeling disadvantaged in the corporate world (extrovert bias is real!!).
I was supposed to finish my Lenten reading, The Road to Daybreak, two weeks ago. I’m still only halfway through. I decided not to beat myself up after thinking, with a Holy Spirit ring about it, “Hey, maybe what you need to give up for Lent is THE GOD OF PRODUCTIVITY.” I’ll get to the end eventually.
Your Monthly Rufus:
This month, Rufus decided he’s too cool for our gated community and started trying to go over this brick wall. It would be tough to retrieve him from the other side of it. I supervise him outside as often as I can because I want him to have fun, but I can’t let him roam free in our high-traffic neighborhood full of dogs and wildlife. I have to admire his adventurous spirit, though!
Quote of the Month:
This one is coming to mind a lot lately.
Good Reads:
♥ Nathan Ma at The Outline: Kelly Clarkson defined how a reality show winner should be.
♥ Katie Heaney at The Cut: How to Be Lazy
♥ Heather Strong Moore: Black Panther: Nakia vs. Killmonger
♥ Doug Rice at Fundamentally Free: Love is Liberation
♥ Lavanya Ramanathan in the WaPo: Boutique fitness has a diversity problem
♥ Brenda Kinsel: Some things I’ve learned about grief since Mother’s passing three years ago
♥ Cami Jones at The Salt Collective: The Difficulties of Dating Online as a “Post-Evangelical Progressive Christian”
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