Welcome to the latest month in review post I’ve ever written! I’ve had too much to do! Happy Eastertide to those who celebrate, He is risen, He is risen indeed, alleluia.
Reading
Georgie, All Along by Kate Clayborn (4 stars) Kate Clayborn has become one of my go-to authors, and this novel about identity in a small town was another solid entry.
House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas (4.5 stars) My friend Melanie, who introduced me to the ACOTAR series, recommended I read the Throne of Glass books next. However, I saw on #bookstagram that the Crescent City series is about to cross over with ACOTAR, so I decided to prioritize that one. This series is about Bryce, a half-human half-Fae woman who has traumatically lost her best friend, and Hunt, a rebel angel enslaved to the Archangel of Crescent City. As I saw someone say on Goodreads, skim over the info dump at the beginning and eventually it’ll all make sense. The last section has some fantastic twists and reveals. I think this would make a great Buffy-esque TV series.
Local by Jessica Machado (3.5 stars) A memoir about growing up in Hawaii.
Poster Girl by Veronica Roth (4 stars) In this dystopia, the youngest members of a fallen regime are imprisoned in a small neighborhood. Sonya, the only surviving member of her family, is given a chance at freedom if she can locate a missing girl. Overtones of The Giver and some aspects of the Uglies series.
Manacled by SenLinYu (3.5 stars) I haven’t read any Harry Potter fanfic in like a decade, but I happened upon a TikTok about this and was curious. Before I knew it, I had read the whole thing in less than 24 hours. It’s basically Handmaid’s Tale meets Harry Potter with a splash of ACOTAR, and it is DARK dark. Super bleak and many trigger warnings. Do I recommend it? I don’t know. But it was compelling.
Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab (4.5 stars) Dr. Tawwab’s last book about boundaries was pretty good, but I kept thinking, how are you supposed to set these boundaries with your family? Enter this new release. I recommend it for most of us.
The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine (4 stars) Like many of Laura’s other followers, I worried that this book would make me feel bad/sad about the state of my friendships. But it was a fun read and got me thinking about where different friends fit in my life.
Listening
Lots of jams this month:
Great podcast episodes: Gee Thanks Just Bought It, Planner Influencing; Stuff You Should Know, Some Nutso Fan Theories; Pantsuit Politics, Nashville: Heartbreak, Exhaustion, and Responsibility; and all of Forever 35’s Product Recall episodes, but especially Love’s Baby Soft and Scrunchies.
Watching
I’ve mentioned before that I just don’t have time to watch things. Reading takes priority. In the evenings I go to sit with Taylor in the living room, because otherwise we would have no time together (during the week anyway). We watch sports or whatever he’s watching, and I do crosswords (which seems to be an important process for my brain). One night this month, when he was at his brother’s, I did squeeze in the first episode of The Power. It was good. Will I ever see the rest of it? Who knows. Other shows I would love to see: The Wheel of Time, Cheer season 2, The Summer I Turned Pretty, Yellowjackets, Tiny Beautiful Things, Bad Sisters, Daisy Jones and the Six, etc etc etc. Oh well.
Travel
C and I went to Alabama for my first niece’s 11th birthday. 11!!! She had a small party at an indoor pool, and then the littlest cousins played together adorably in the yard.
Around Town
Picture it: Memphis, Memphis (we don’t claim Tennessee), April 2023. First round of the playoffs, a season we look forward to as a city all year. Not thrilled to have drawn the Lakers, but at least it wasn’t the Warriors. Taylor and I got to attend Game 1 together. Grizzlies did not perform well. Game 1 was an L.
Game 2. Taylor went with his mom, and I stayed home with C and watched on TV. The Grizz were dominant in this game and won by 10. It was worth staying home to see this moment of joy on the faces of our beloved announcers, Pete and Brevin, when the first Whoop That Trick of the playoffs broke out.
Off went the Grizz to LA. Game 3 was so bad that I could hardly believe it was happening. Game 4 was closer, but still lost again. Back to Memphis where the Lakers expected to end the series. My dad watched C so I could attend Game 5. It was a DECISIVE win.
Back to LA again… and the Grizzlies lost the series in Game 6. We all expected to make a run this year, so it was a huge disappointment. The only positive is not having to stay up until midnight for any more West Coast games (when we make it multiple rounds, it gets exhausting). I will say that if Steven Adams had been healthy, I don’t think we would have lost. We needed Stevo!! Hopefully next year the stars will align better. I was fully behind the Kings once we were out, but sadly they’ve now lost too.
In non-Grizzlies news, my SIL took me to see Lizzo!! She was fantastic. What a queen. I felt like the atmosphere was a great warmup for Taylor Swift this weekend!! Lots of great outfits and positive vibes.
Also, someone finally bought my favorite downtown building, the Sterick Building. It’s been sitting abandoned for decades. So excited for the restoration!
At Home
We (mostly Taylor) are continuing to get the backyard into shape. We sort of let everything grow wild on this side of the yard, and this beautiful flowering shrub appeared! I guess in past years I thought it was a weed and cut it off.
Wearing
I spent hours in April shopping online for the perfect Taylor Swift Eras Tour outfit. I’m talking so many hours. I wanted to feel good about and in my clothes, and nothing I saw on TikTok felt right for me, a 43-year-old slightly overweight mom. I ordered items from Poshmark, then had to cancel and go in another direction when they didn’t ship. Thankfully, the bejeweled tank top I finally settled on arrived in time! For those of you going later, please enjoy this Amazon list I assembled of Eras Tour Outfits for Grownups.
Beauty
My love of Colourpop continues to grow. I just got their Blush Stix in 25/8, and of all the mascaras I’ve tried in the last year or so, I’ve been reaching for their Act Natural mascara the most. Also, a couple of skincare products I’m liking: Benefit the Porefessional Good Cleanup (via Ipsy) and Eczema Honey Multi-Peptide Eye Cream (my undereye eczema patches are on vacation!).
Wellness
The Back Diaries: In March I got a branch block in my lower back to treat my herniated disks. Right away, I felt lighter. I could fall asleep without discomfort. I didn’t have to take a bunch of Advil. I could get down on the floor to play with C and get up again without pain. It was a miracle! Unfortunately, it started to slowly wear off last week. I had my follow-up with my doctor, and we’re going to see if meds help before scheduling me for another injection.
I didn’t think there were any new types of tired for me to discover, but I’ve been intensely exhausted the last couple of weeks. Like brain fog, sleepwalk-y, “I take a nap right here” tired. It’s easing up, but even really unhealthy quantities of caffeine didn’t help.
Random Happiness
My middle-school BFF Amy comes to town about twice a year, and we always get together. We witnessed this beautiful double rainbow while we had dinner. It had been a while since I’d seen one!
I’d been thinking about getting some good stickers for my new car, and then Taylor encouraged me to do so. After much consideration, I got the two below. Unfortunately “you’re doing amazing” is already fading and running, so maybe it wasn’t made for the outdoors.
Little Boy Update
April brought a huge, long-awaited milestone: C started at a real preschool! A school with lesson plans and a playground and everything! We’d been on several waiting lists since I was pregnant. He’d been at a nearby daycare since he turned one, but time went by and he was still in the baby room instead of with kids his own age. Around the new year, I frustratedly sent out another batch of applications. Only a few months later, one of the schools called and had a spot for him! It is a WONDERFUL place and we’re so happy for him to go there. We now have real long-term stability for the first time since C was born.
Before he started at his new school, my parents watched C for two weeks. They all had a fantastic time. My mom took him to a new park every day! He’s still adjusting to going to school instead of with Sha Sha. My parents just travel too much for it to be a permanent thing, plus he needs to be around other kids.
C also attended his first Easter egg hunt at our church! At first he was confused, then tried to put the eggs back after putting them in his basket (because he loves to dump things out and then put them away), but he got the hang of it by the end.
Your Monthly Rufus
Roaming and resting.
Good Reads
Swifties Flock to Cornelia Street to Mourn Joe Alwyn Breakup // What’s An Almost-40 Woman Supposed To Wear To A Taylor Swift Concert? // What to Wear to the Taylor Swift Eras Tour as a Mom
Are You There, Judy Blume? It’s Me, Kelly Fremon Craig. // Is There Life After Influencing? // With Her Latest Media Project, Jane Pratt Is Still Telling All // A Century of the New York ‘It’ Girl
Twilight of the Mediocre Dad // Are We All Secretly Co-sleeping? // This Name Has 135 Different Spellings
You’d Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don’t You? // Teen mom with triplets had no support. Her babies’ NICU nurse adopted her. (this story was also on CBS Sunday Morning last week) // A Day in Godly Play (a heartwarming story from my church!)
92-year-old has grown tomatoes from the same seed lineage since 1965 // The Collectors Offering Thousands For a Piece of Pyrex
Add a Comment + Posted in: month in review
First, A Note
Things continue to be rough in Memphis and in America. I am very upset about the school shooting in Nashville, and can’t bear the thought of C being involved in something like that, though I know that even at a preschool he is not safe. It’s been harder than usual to drop him off this week. I signed up for Moms Demand after Uvalde but have yet to make it to a meeting. I’m really going to try to go to the next one, because it is something I can do. I’ve decided I need to pick an area and focus my efforts there. Otherwise, I can’t hold up under the weight of all the tragedy and oppression in this country. There is too much bad happening and too many people who want it to happen.
Locally, we’re still dealing with tons of shooting fatalities, car theft, and general chaos. Taylor and I now both have new cars (more on that later) mostly because we were too nervous owning two of the most-stolen models. I love my city, I am not jittery about crime, I don’t believe more incarceration is the answer, and you will never hear me use the word “thug” (that’s usually a signal for me to tune out anything else that person says). But times are tough and something has to be done. We are nowhere near solving it.
This month was also the third anniversary of the pandemic. It’s junior year of covid and apparently we’re all going to try to move forward like everything is normal, but underneath the normalcy, I know many of us are not really okay. I got choked up at a tweet thread I saw about when the person’s library shut down at the beginning of covid. I have not worked through all those emotions by a long shot.
Anyway, that’s just part of the big picture. My nerves and patience are pretty shot lately and I know I’m not alone. But there are still joys and good things happening. Let’s talk about some of them.
Reading
The Light Pirate by Lily Brooks-Dalton (4 stars) A climate change novel about a girl born during a hurricane, and how things unfold for her and her family in her Florida town.
The Quarantine Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot (3 stars) Always good to check in with Princess Mia.
Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy (5 stars) A fantastic resource that I expect to refer to time and time again. It has powerful insights about parenting and how to relate to people in general. The basic premise – that your child is inherently good and should be treated with grace and empathy – is so antithetical to most of what I’ve been taught about parenting that reading it has been healing for me. I come from the evangelical background of “your child is inherently evil and your job is to squash that evil and always assume the worst.” (Thankfully my own parents didn’t take that tack with us.) Anyway, thank you Dr. Becky for helping us raise a new generation of emotionally secure and well-adjusted people.
The English Teacher by Lily King (4 stars) The titular protagonist of this book is pretty unlikable, so I didn’t super enjoy the actual experience of reading it, but Lily King’s writing is still top notch.
When You Get the Chance by Emma Lord (4 stars) Cute, fun YA about a teen actress in Manhattan being raised by a single dad. When she discovers her dad’s old LiveJournal (this is what made me download the book the moment I heard of it, LJ forever), she realizes she has three possible mothers. A summer of “Millie Mia” ensues.
We All Want Impossible Things by Catherine Newman (4 stars) An emotional slice-of-life novel framed around the main character’s best friend dying of cancer. It’s sad, but there are moments of humor and joy. This is niche, but the whole vibe felt very “adult Anastasia Krupnik” to me? This is somehow my first Catherine Newman and not my last.
Burn Our Bodies Down by Rory Power (3.5 stars) Horror isn’t my thing unless Rory Power (or sometimes Gillian Flynn) is writing it. This latest creepy installment is about a teen girl whose mother has always kept her in the dark about their family. When she gets in touch with her grandmother and runs off to the old family homestead, things get Very Disturbing!!
Listening
A song for your weekend:
Some podcast episodes I really enjoyed this month: Forever 35, Body Liberation with Chrissy King; The Prophetic Imagination Station, Wanna Grab Coffee, Just Between You and Me?; Abby Wambach spills the tea, part 1 and part 2.
Travel
At the beginning of March, Taylor and I went to New York! We were supposed to go last summer for our anniversary, and I was devastated when I couldn’t go due to general family crisis. This make-up trip was everything I could have wanted. My love of NYC is deeper than the fact that this was only my third visit. I am now sure that before I die, I want to live there for 6-12 months and fully experience the city.
First off, the food situation. We hit some high points.
Our hotel room overlooked the Times Square ball! It was a great central location, with a subway entrance right on the corner. (This trip was my first time to take the subway. I am obsessed. Efficient public transportation is one of my greatest thrills.)
We took a two-hour walking tour of Central Park. That only covered half the park!! It was beautiful despite still being winter.
We made a pilgrimage to the Friends apartment!!! (Not pictured: at least 20 people on our side of the street also making their pilgrimage. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live in this building.)
We walked some of the High Line, which was again visually interesting even in winter. I want to see it again when it’s all alive. We walked up and down Fifth Avenue and around Rockefeller Center.
We saw Seinfeld at the Beacon Theater!!!
And we went to the Late Show!! The guests were comedian Nick Kroll and a Congressman from Connecticut. I was mainly there for Stephen. He has helped keep me sane since 2016 (and made me laugh since the late 90s), and I admire him even more after seeing him in person. During a Q&A he quoted an entire passage of Tolkien from memory.
Around Town
Kara and I took our second annual trip to the Dixon with the boys to see the tulips! It was a little early, but some areas were blooming. The boys were not particularly cooperative for pictures.
As I’ve mentioned, I married into Grizzlies season tickets, and one of the perks this month was that my MIL and I got to sit courtside for shootaround and get a few autographs! (This is my MIL’s friend with me and Dillon Brooks.) I brought a mini hoop and got it signed by a few players! If we get to do this again, I’ll be more prepared (and dress better).
I recently reconnected with a college friend (not pictured) and was honored to take her to her first Grizzlies game! She had fun and wants to go again. Success!
At Home
The hyacinths I planted last fall put on a great show! They smelled so good, I had to cut a few to bring inside.
Taylor has been working hard in our yard. Among other things, he built a shed (after our old one was crushed by a tree last summer), cleaned out my greenhouse, and is getting ready to overhaul it with corrugated clear plastic instead of glass. We’ve had so many broken greenhouse panes that they know Taylor at the glass place. This should make life easier.
Eating
NEW STAPLE MEAL: 15-Minute Garlic Butter Chicken with Parmesan Cauliflower Rice. It was unreal. I’ve also made a few of the Trader Joe’s meal ideas from The Hungry Hooker’s instagram (fyi, she’s a local food blogger whose last name is Hooker).
At this point I’m practically a walking commercial for Costco. I recently tried their cauliflower crust supreme pizza, and it was so good I kept forgetting it was a cauliflower crust!
Wearing
I’m obsessed with my new work backpack. I’ve used a Vera Bradley computer bag as my work bag since I started at my company. I also still use my L.L. Bean monogrammed backpack from college as my carry-on when I travel. Taylor decided I needed to move into the 2020s and literally ordered this backpack for me on his phone as we were departing LaGuardia. He meant for it to be my new carry-on, but I immediately claimed it for work and it has improved my quality of life drastically. I had no idea how much that over-the-shoulder bag was annoying me and weighing me down. I feel active happiness walking around with the backpack. It has pockets for everything you need and even its own charging port!
Now that I have a standing desk at the office, I realized it was not optional to upgrade my zero-support work flats. I hesitated on these Skechers loafer sneakers because they’re a little unusual, but so far they’re working with a lot of outfits and feel great! I also discovered a cushioned Rothys knockoff that comes in multiple colors (I’m starting with the black). I’ve always been interested in Rothys and almost got a pair at their Soho store, but I just could not spend $150 on a pair of flats. Maybe I’ll work up to it. Anyway, I think my high heel days are officially over. I spent my 20s and most of my 30s prancing around in 2+ inch stiletto heels and everyone asked how I could stand it. Well, now I can’t. It was a good run.
Beauty
I don’t know why, but a few weeks ago my skin had an epic freakout. I had multiple impossible-to-ignore huge zits in different areas of my face, and the eczema under my eyes got in on the action too. It was very humiliating seeing as I’m 43. I frantically Googled what to do for cystic acne and made an emergency trip to Ulta to pick up the two items on the right – niacinimide serum and azelaic acid. My total was under $20 for these products (thank you, The Ordinary) and THEY WORKED. My skin was mostly back to normal after four or five days of applying morning and night. I’m still alternating them with my other products. Run, do not walk, to try them if you also experience a major skin eruption.
After years of only being able to find my chosen hair gel at Walmart, it has finally disappeared everywhere except Amazon. It’s my policy not to get anything that goes in or on my body from Amazon, so I’m now in the painful process of finding a new go-to. This Twist by Ouidad gel from Target is reasonably priced and pretty much perfect, but guess what? They just discontinued it!!! Memphians, if you see any at your Target, please alert me.
Wellness
One of March’s biggest headlines is that I got a steroid injection in my back!! I could not be happier about it! The MRI I had last month revealed that I have three torn/herniated discs. This was basically my best case scenario – a real and treatable cause of my pain that isn’t a tumor. As I mentioned, I’ve been in pain every day for over two years. I got this nerve block last week and it has been miraculous. I can get up and down to play with my son, I can move without feeling like my back is about to go out, in the evening I can relax and fall asleep without doing a whole pain relief ritual. I am so thankful. Now I’m just nervous about when it might wear off, but my doctor already said we can do a second one if needed. Past that who knows. There’s a chance the steroid might relax the area enough for it to improve. Prayer hands.
Often I’ll hear something on a Peloton ride that sticks with me for a while. I took a Robin ride from several months ago where she talked about “finding your posse” and surrounding yourself with people who will lift you up. This is an increasingly sensitive and emotional topic for me since the pandemic / becoming a mom, but what encouraged me was her emphasis that your circle expands throughout life, and that “you haven’t yet met everyone who’s going to love you.” Thanks Robin. <3
Random Happiness
Another personal March headline is that we got a Cadillac Lyriq EV! It’s the first in Memphis and only the second in Tennessee. Taylor ordered it a year and a half ago. It’s probably the fanciest vehicle I’ve ever seen and I was afraid to drive it at first. I still don’t understand how most of the features work. But it is very, very nice and Taylor is psyched about never getting gas again. This will be primarily his car. I’m still hooked on my new Subaru. We go big or go home, I guess. Both cars are full of special safety features, so I do feel good that Baby C is now riding in Extreme Safety.
In more mundane news, I got a NYC Starbucks You Are Here mug to join the other places of my heart. It makes me happy to see them all together.
Toddler Update
C is getting closer to two every day. My baby is rapidly disappearing and becoming a person!! He’s constantly saying and doing new things. This month we brought out the kid table and chairs we inherited from my BIL’s family. C is enjoying playing blocks there and even doing some coloring.
C is showing interest in the singing at church, so I’ve started keeping him with me for singing and taking him to the nursery after. As soon as he sees the musicians on stage, he points to show me and is excited. He hasn’t sung along at church yet, although at home he can sing part of the ABCs and chime in for choruses of other songs (he knows the “alllllll through the town” part of Wheels on the Bus).
His love of dogs continues. We went to a friend’s house this month who has goats, but C was only interested in her dog. Zero fear even when the dog is twice his size. :)
Almost every day, C gets a hold of my phone and takes pictures of his legs and feet. I don’t know how he got this one so artsy, but this is exactly as he took it. A prodigy!!
Your Monthly Rufus
We’ve been letting Rufus in the backyard with us to enjoy the spring weather. I forgot that this makes him absolutely belligerent because then all he wants is to go outside 24/7. Which we can’t allow, since something would happen to him quickly. But he is having fun chasing squirrels and eating grass for a few minutes at a time. Then he hides from C (who still hasn’t learned to pet him gently) and takes a nice nap.
Good Reads
How to shop at J. Crew, according to J. Crew employees; 9 Readers Share Their Dramatic Hair Transformations; The yassification of Ozempic
Peloton’s Leanne Hainsby opens up about cancer treatment. Love Leanne!
Emily Henry Cracked the Modern Romance Novel
Protestant bodies, Protestant bedrooms, & our furious need for a theology thereof
Hey mothers. It’s not you, it’s America; Influencer Parents and The Kids Who Had Their Childhood Made Into Content; Judging what others feed their kids is a blood sport. Why?; The Humbling Tyranny of the Photos Our Kids Take of Us
This bill could make the four-day workweek a reality. Not holding my breath, but… just imagine how much better life could be.
Add a Comment + Posted in: month in review, travel
February kicked off with a snow/ice event that trapped us in the house for several days. It was pretty, and thankfully our power and water weren’t impacted. We were still very eager to get out when it melted!
We had a nice Valentine’s Day. Taylor and I had our Valentine date the weekend before (brunch at the Majestic), then did presents (and flowers) the day of. C looked super cute in his sweatshirt with hearts on the elbows. <3
We also had a few friends over for the Super Bowl. It had been a while since this group got together, so it was extra fun, and we had SO MUCH food! I loved this bean salad that I made, but decided just to order the chicken wings from now on, because my baked wings have been meh two years in a row.
I was very excited about our (first annual?) church women’s Galentine gathering. We all brought yummy food and toasted to one another. The toasts continued for almost an hour because everyone had so much to say! As I said on Instagram, my church has been many versions of itself in the 8+ years I’ve been there, but this one is by far my favorite.
My brother came through town last weekend, so my sister and the girls also came to see him. Lots of cousin time and sibling time ensued. C and his little cousin here are six months apart. She’s older, but they’re currently the same size!!
Reading
The Cross and the Lynching Tree by James H. Cone (4 stars) Our first book club selection of the year. Not an easy read, but important.
A Court of Thorns and Roses (4 stars); A Court of Mist and Fury (FIVE STARS); A Court of Wings and Ruin (4 stars); A Court of Frost and Starlight (4 stars); and A Court of Silver Flames (4 stars) by Sarah J. Maas A longtime online friend saw that I had just gotten this first book from the library and totally enabled my subsequent obsession. As soon as I finished the first book, I went ahead and bought the whole bundle for Kindle. ACOMAF is obviously my favorite and I could barely function while I was reading it. These books are not for more chaste readers, but the characters and multi-layered plot are so good. The arc of books 1-2 is one of the best I’ve experienced in a long time. I am now following multiple ACOTAR meme accounts.
Around Town
Debra and I have followed “Chloe Bluffcakes” (as we call her) on TikTok for a good while. Her storefront is now open in Germantown, so we had to make a pilgrimage. The cookies are AMAZING.
Kara and I took the boys to the Shelby Farms playground one Saturday. It’s an incredible play area, but as it turns out, actually not the best for preschoolers. They both seemed overwhelmed. We took them to a small neighborhood park instead, where they had a fantastic time.
When Taylor and I were first dating, we used to talk all the time about opening a store that only sold Memphis-made goods. Like a shelf for all the barbecue sauces, Choose 901 t shirts, jewelry by local artisans, etc. Well, someone did it! We discovered Grind City Grocer when we were downtown for our Valentine’s date. It’s exactly what I imagined. I’m glad it exists.
Wellness
My department had some extra standing desks available, so I decided to try one! I’ve been standing for at least half the day. Can anyone recommend supportive but nice shoes for a standing office situation? I’m hoping it’ll help my back, which tends to feel worse on in-office days. On that note, I finally got my chronic lower back pain checked out this month. Taylor gave me the final push to do so after watching me thrash around uncomfortably for the one millionth night in a row. At the intake appointment, the doctor said I’ve already tried everything he would recommend, so he put me straight through to MRI. I’ll get those results this week. I’m hoping for something defined enough that they can treat it, but not serious enough to need surgery. Please just give me a nerve block or something. I can point you to the exact spot. Thank you.
I’m sort of running again? I’ve been doing outdoor Walk + Runs on the Peloton app once a week. I’m basically starting all over again with running, so intervals are good for me. I have no goals or schedule at this point. Just trying to get different types of exercise and rebuild some endurance. By my own standards, I’m killing it on the bike these days. I can do so much more than when I started!
I’ve been in a weird headspace this month, which I guess is to be expected during the bleakest month of the year. Life is lifing and I haven’t felt super compelled to document it. I’m just… existing!
Life Hacks
I’ve been interested in the Erin Condren Petite Planner system to accompany my daybook, but they are not cheap. I ended up getting the planner itself from EC, then buying notebooks to fill it on Amazon for much cheaper. Compromise! One of the notebooks is for meal planning. I wrote out one week of meals and have forgotten to do it ever since, so, you know, going great so far.
Baby Update
At this point I should change the title to “Little Boy Update,” because my baby is less and less like a baby!! He’s saying and doing new things every day. We’ve been playing in the yard on nice days, something I’ve looked forward to since he was born. The day has finally come when he can run around, throw a ball, and have fun! This summer should be a good time.
Shapes continue to be one of his favorite subjects. He plays with his many shape sorters daily, as well as matching games on his tablet. This week he said triangle! He also enjoys his more interactive toys (I wish this toy vacuum worked), and running up and down our street. We are learning important lessons about traffic.
I shouldn’t even say this lest I jinx it, but C is beginning to give us more good nights than bad nights. So far every good sleep run in his life has been brief, but maybe the shift has finally begun?? I can’t believe how much better I’ve felt after a few solid nights of sleep. Of course he’s worth it, but this almost two years without decent sleep has been terrible for our health. Would not wish it on anyone.
Your Monthly Rufus
I have been negligent in taking pics of Rufus. He’s been in hibernation mode this month, which has me a little concerned. A few times he’s spent the entire day sleeping on our bed. Hopefully it’s just the last of the winter doldrums and not starting to “slow down” at 8 years old. His relationship with C remains tenuous. C is showing more interest in/excitement about Rufus, but has yet to grasp the concept of “pet, not hit.”
Good Reads
The 2023 Fashion Trends Guide for Grown Women (mildly upsetting to me because I don’t like the new trends); Christian Siriano Redesigns Cher’s Iconic Yellow Plaid Outfit from Clueless for a Super Bowl Ad
The 2023 SELF Pantry Awards (I am, unsurprisingly, loving the new SELF under Rachel Wilkerson Miller’s leadership); 15 Best Laundry Detergents 2023; How an Ikea storage solution became Gen Z’s most coveted bookshelf (we have two of these); We’re Using Big Spoons Wrong
Toddlers Are Demons But They’re More Fun Than Babies; A mother’s lament as shootings in East Lansing, Tuscaloosa affect her children
The five-day workweek is dead; The Work is Not Enough
Three years into covid, we still don’t know how to talk about it. A powerful read as That Time of Year rolls around again.
Add a Comment + Posted in: month in review
New year, new car! I am now the proud owner of a 2023 Subaru Crosstrek! This change was a long time coming. I’d had my Hyundai Elantra for over ten years and still loved it, but for a variety of reasons (one of them being our local car theft problem), I told Taylor on New Year’s Day that I was ready to consider a new car. Eight days later, we went to Subaru so I could see and experience the different models (happy to share my thoughts on this if anyone is curious). I had been interested in Subarus for a long time – they’re the unofficial car of Midtown – so I didn’t really need to shop around. I knew as soon as I sat in the Crosstrek that it was the one for me. We put down a deposit that day, then waited about three weeks for the color and trim I wanted to arrive (Horizon Blue, Limited). Plenty of time to think about what we had just done. But so far I have no regrets! My only complaint is that it’s been raining or icing for the whole week since we got the car, so I haven’t really gotten to enjoy it. We’ve been iced in for days.
We celebrated a late Christmas with my sister’s family, who had to miss our planned big family Christmas because of Covid. I feel very bad for Debra that she didn’t get to meet our new niece (pictured bottom right). But we still enjoyed our time! This was the first time that C and Debra’s girls were all able to play at the park together.
Reading
Come Fly the World: The Jet-Age Story of the Women of Pan Am by Julia Cooke (4 stars) This follows several original Pan Am stewardesses in the 60s and 70s, including their involvement in Operation Babylift out of Vietnam. Really interesting!
Whatever Happened to Pudding Pops?: The Lost Toys, Tastes, and Trends of the 70s and 80s by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper and Brian Bellmont (3 stars) A fun, quick read about things from my childhood.
The World We Make (Great Cities #2) by N.K. Jemisin (4 stars) A satisfying conclusion to the story of the human avatars of New York City. Jemisin has said she had to pivot away from her original plot (and cut back from a trilogy to a duology) because it was too depressingly reflective of current events. I feel that.
Rivals (American Royals #3) by Katherine McGee (4 stars) I just love this alternate-history series. This episode focuses more on the relationships between the royal women, who are foils for each other in different ways. Looking forward to the final book this spring!
Laundry Love: Finding Joy in a Common Chore by Patric Richardson (4 stars) A lighthearted reference for everything you could ever need to know about laundry. I’ve already implemented some of his tips.
Movie Star: They Always Say They’re Single by Jessica Simpson (3 stars) A short story about an unnamed movie star with whom Simpson had a fling. Honestly it’s kind of a nothingburger, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying it.
You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith (5 stars) I rarely win Goodreads giveaways, but I hit the jackpot with this one. Maggie Smith’s upcoming memoir is a gorgeous, compelling story about the end of her marriage and how she and her family healed.
Listening
Ours is a Super Simple Songs household, but this month we discovered The Singing Walrus and have added it to the rotation! (Bonus: C often yells “Laaaaaaa” along with the intro.) They actually have a lot of bops. This is our favorite:
I’ve been neglecting all my usual podcasts to listen to Havana Syndrome. Obsessed.
Around Town
New Year’s Day was warm and pleasant, so we took C to Overton Park for the first time since he started walking. It was such a special milestone! He trotted all around, went down the slide, and looked at ducks (his obsession). Great start to the year.
My friend Lexie and I went to a Taylor Swift dance party at the Hi-Tone. It was such a welcoming atmosphere and within minutes of walking in, I was having a blast (despite being probably the oldest person there). There were lots of sequins, heart glasses, and of course a chant of “F Jake” after a showing of the All Too Well short film. Swifties are the best.
I love to go to the Grizzlies MLK Day game. Every year they honor four people in sports who have been doing good work for civil rights. One of this year’s recipients was Eddie George, whom I’ve always liked.
As most people know, we’ve had a hard month in Memphis with the murder of Tyre Nichols. He was killed by police across the street from the middle school I attended. By all accounts, he was a kind and gentle person, an artist. I’ve been praying for his mom a lot. Honestly it’s been a hard six months in Memphis, what with the high-profile murders, constant car theft and break-ins, random shootings every couple of days. As I told my brother, I am the biggest ambassador for Memphis, and even I can’t defend all this. But there are a lot of people here working to make things better.
At Home
It took me a month to complete this 1,000 piece Charlie Brown puzzle (with help from Taylor and my mom)!
On Monday nights, I make and take three mason jars of oatmeal for that week’s in-the-office breakfasts. I was weirdly annoyed by the traditional, two-piece metal jar lids, so I ordered some leak-proof plastic ones. I also got a pack of spout lids for sauces, dressings, and DIY coffee creamer. These small upgrades really help.
Baby Stuff
C is almost 20 months old, and his development has skyrocketed over the last couple of months. He’s gone from taking his first steps on Thanksgiving Day to walking confidently everywhere! As predicted, his speech has escalated along with the walking. He is communicating so much better, both with and without words, and I’m always surprised to realize how much he knows! He got a kid tablet for Christmas and can navigate it as well as the Roku TV. (I took this picture after he turned on the fireplace video by himself.) He’s very interested in shapes and is making attempts to read, count (every number is two), and sing (Twinkle Twinkle is a fave). He says a new word almost every day. It’s exciting to see this progress. We’re so proud of him! <3
My mom has started taking C on an afternoon adventure once a week. She took him to the library for the first time, and I was able to join in the fun on my way home from work! I look forward to lots of good times there.
My brother and SIL pulled out a Busy Baby Mat for my niece at a restaurant, and I ordered one for C before we left the table. He is deep in the “throwing everything” phase (when does this end?!?) and the bungee cords are helpful.
C also loves to get mommy’s phone and take a bunch of selfies like this one.
I moved him up to all 2T clothes this month. We saw some toddler Adidas on sale at the mall and had to get them for him, not knowing that my mom had just bought some very similar ones! I love how he’s pointing his foot here to model the shoe. Hilarious.
Eating
Also on the recommendation of my SIL, I tried Home Chef in January. I did two meals a week, and everything was delicious. We’ve put it on pause for now because it’s pretty expensive, but getting a “meal plan” with all the ingredients together and pre-portioned made my life much easier. Finding recipes isn’t my problem… buying all the ingredients in the right amounts (and getting over how expensive they are), pulling it all out, and putting some of it away is a mental load for me. Maybe that’s weird, but it is what it is. I know I have to figure out a structure for dinners, because taking one day at a time is not working, particularly on days I’m commuting.
Wellness
My nails have always been brittle, but recently they started breaking almost daily. I was also losing an alarming amount of hair (and it’s too late to be a postpartum thing). So I started taking collagen, and it seems to be helping. I got this bottle at Costco. I’m supposed to take 6 pills a day, but sometimes I only remember 3 (I break it into two doses). Worth it so far.
My friend Sarah invited me to a vision board party the first week of the year. I love these types of activities, and even though I’m not a big Law of Attraction believer, it was still a fun and helpful exercise. I was very intentional about all my selections!
Over the holidays I gained back most of the weight I lost last fall. I’m upset with myself and trying to figure out how I can work in more exercise (particularly strength training). I did a free trial workout at Curves – which is still a thing! – and liked it. A 30-minute HIIT-type workout close to my office is exactly what I need. Unfortunately, it’s expensive (especially since we don’t intend to drop our Peloton membership) and the MLM vibes are too strong for my comfort. Meanwhile, getting up before dawn to exercise at home is still no go while C continues to not sleep through the night. If I had a fully remote job, I could work out every day during the day like my body naturally wants to. But nope. The struggle continues.
Oh, and Taylor got me a weighted heating pad and a Sharper Image massage gun for Christmas! Both are now a fantastic part of my back pain routine (after a hot shower, warming CBD cream, and Advil). #old
Beauty
Lots to catch up on here!
Skincare: as a Gee Thanks Just Bought It listener, I’ve heard tons of raves about Tula and decided to start with their cleanser. It smells great and gets my face both clean and soft. I’m enjoying it! I also have a growing interest in cleansing balms to remove my eye makeup. Colleen Rothschild is a little out of my league, so I’m trying the Paula’s Choice version. So far… IDK. Maybe I’m not using it right.
Makeup: earlier this month I went to Ulta for a specific thing, and was struck by a dangerous mood where I just started grabbing everything I had wanted for months. This included the Colourpop California Love palette and Of Quartz palette. The grays are more appropriate for January, so that’s what I’ve been using and I’m very pleased. ALSO: after repeatedly watching some TikTok tutorials, I can now sort of use liquid liner/do a cat eye! Getting better!
Hair: in December I got trial sizes of some Curlsmith products during the sales. (They still cost more than a lot of full sizes.) When I tried to use either the conditioning cream or the style balm as a core styling product, it was too much and made my hair greasy. I later discovered they work great as finishing touches after I’ve put in my other products. But I won’t be spending that kind of money again just for that. I am currently using Mielle as my leave-in conditioner and Pantene Curls gel as my main gel. It’s a decent replacement for my now-discontinued Tresemme Bouncy Curls.
After wanting the Olive & June Mani System for literal years and not getting it for Christmas, I finally ordered it for myself. I chose the color Fig Ranch. That mani lasted 10 days. I then did another manicure with an old Sinful Colors color and all the other O&J steps… and it’s still on after almost two weeks (though it’s starting to look rough). I don’t know what devilry this is, but you heard it from me: Olive & June is legit.
On the Blog
I wrote a little about my word for this year, Ask.
Good Reads
Celeb profiles: Selma Blair // Melanie Lynskey
Work life: This is a rant about beds at work // Layoff Brain // how can I get used to cube life again?
Parenting and sleep!!: More than just “difficult” // Parents are skeptical of sleepovers // Sleep Training Your 404-Month-Old // Is My Parasocial Relationship With Bluey Making Me A Better Parent?
Self-care: 21 questions to ask about your life on the internet // Why You Need More “Tiny Relationships” (and How to Get Them) // The Case for Giving Up on Books and Shows You’re Not That Into // Stop Talking to Each Other and Start Buying Things
Fun (?): The Return of the Going-Out Top
And finally, How Not to Act: You Fat-Shamed Your Beautiful Girlfriend
Add a Comment + Posted in: month in review
I’ve been dragging my feet to write about my new word for the year, and at this point I just need to say something! If you’re new here, I’ve been choosing a word to guide the year for almost a decade (!). I was most intense about it in the mid-to-late teens, although I still don’t choose a word lightly. I think about what I currently need and where I want to grow. Sometimes the word emerges slowly, sometimes it hits me like an anvil. 2023 is an anvil year. I was literally at a stoplight at Central and Highland when I got bonked in the head with this word, and clearly sensed the Spirit telling me, “Because you don’t know how to do this anymore.”
ASK: to question; to make inquiry; to request information about; to petition or make a request; “a request, especially a demanding one.”
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. – Matthew 7:7-11
Anytime someone asks me for something, the very first thing I think is, “How can I move worlds to make this happen?” It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, a professional associate, or a complete stranger. I don’t ask myself, “Does this make sense to do? Do I have time for this? Does this work for me? How do I feel about this?” I just start moving things around on my to-do list to fit in this new thing. – Heather Havrilesky
We learn contentment. We learn how to settle. We learn how to accept our weakness but never ask for God’s strength. How to accept our poverty without expecting provision. We learn to live with the ache of never enough. We pray to God as if we don’t know him at all, we live with bastardly longing—because a true child would ask. A true child would crawl right up into God’s lap and ask for a better story. – Alia Joy, Glorious Weakness
If you want to do good work, what you need is a great curiosity about a promising question. – Paul Graham
Becoming a mother has really set me back in my personal growth. Bringing home a newborn for the first time, accompanied by PPA and PPD, pushed the reset button on ten years of unraveling the programming that made me a doormat. In an instant, I became Doormat 2.0. I am just now, 19 months later, starting to regain some of my autonomy and independence and self-worth. I am trying to ask for what I need, instead of burying myself so as not to inconvenience anyone. I am trying to, as Dr. Becky says, seek the “most generous interpretation” instead of assuming the worst intentions from everyone. I am trying to have curiosity again about people and the world, to have ideas and plans. I would also like to kick my fairly dormant prayer life up a notch, without reclaiming any of my old baggage about it.
So that’s what I’m doing this year. Asking. I notice that this is only my second verb ever, the first being last year. I guess two years of quarantine put me in need of some action.
Anyone want to share your word?
Past words: Release // Peace // Love // Fearless // Abundance // Light // Enough // Alive // Focus
2 Comments + Posted in: one word 365