1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
Went to Hawaii; attended the NCAA Tournament; learned how to hula hoop; bought a domain and a design for my blog; raised the subject of being roommates with a friend; had a triple birthday party; ran a 5K (twice!); witnessed a boss get fired; asked a guy out; got fitted for real running shoes; served on a jury; acquired a blog hater; camped at Kentucky Lake; put a beloved pet down; guest posted for a Notable Blogger; volunteered at a public broadcasting station; got a tattoo; agreed to a blind fixup; watched my football team win a conference championship AND a bowl game; was mistaken for the bride at a wedding rehearsal because we look that much alike.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My One Word for 2014 was Alive, and I’m very satisfied with how it turned out! I’ve decided on my 2015 word and will announce it later, but I’ve been thinking about more practical resolutions too. One thing I want to focus on is being consistent across my relationships and different facets of my life. I think I already do okay at this, but I realize more and more how important it is. And I plan to take more steps in my current general goal of Making My Outside Match My Inside.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
More like who didn’t? My sister Debra, my college roommate Kathy, one of my best friends Caroline, two SIPsters, and several other good friends.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My cat Gandalf, my roommate and companion for 12 years. I still miss him every single day. One of my college friends also died suddenly around the same time. We weren’t really in touch and I hadn’t seen her in years, but back then we were pretty close.
5. What countries did you visit?
‘Merica
6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked this year?
A relationship. A home in an area better suited to my life. More time to BE.
7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
4/23: My BIL Lance’s ordination. 7/4: My best friend Alanna got engaged. 8/1: Came home to find Gandalf mysteriously sick. 9/3: Found out he had cancer. 9/15: The day I said goodbye. 9/17: Left for Hawaii. 10/1: My niece E’s birth. 10/3: My brother’s movie premiere. 10/13: My “nephew” E’s birth. 11/15: Alanna’s wedding. 12/22: The Miami Beach Bowl!!!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Probably leaving my church and finding a new one. It was a hard and scary decision, but absolutely the right one. I’m also happy about my progress as a writer and blogger this year. I feel a lot more confident and capable, and the best part is, it kind of happened when I wasn’t looking.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Spending too much emotional energy on the wrong people/situations.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Other than some scrapes, bruises, and allergies, I was really healthy this year. Yay!
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My tattoo and my ticket to Hawaii.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My friends’. Seriously, they are all amazing – as people and in their love and support – and I don’t deserve them. Also, early in the year I got an e-mail from a pastor that was SO affirming and kind, I still cry when I think about it. I only met him briefly, but he spoke God’s love and calling over me and my writing more powerfully than any pastor I’ve actually had a relationship with. God bless that man.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Too dangerous to go there.
14. Where did most of your money go (other than regular bills)?
Experiences – traveling, tickets, and great meals – and I’m fine with that. More please!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Pretty much every good thing that happened.
16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
The 2014 Soundtrack
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Too close to call.
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner – thank you, running!!!
c) richer or poorer? A little poorer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleeping and relaxing.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Basically living in my car.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my parents and brother here in Memphis. We’ll have “real Christmas” when my sister and her family arrive this week.
21. Did you fall in love in 2014?
…
22. What concerts did you attend this year?
I made it to a respectable number of Levitt Shell shows: Katie Herzig, Old 97’s, the Moon River Fest organized by Drew and Ellie Holcolmb, and my friend Myla Smith’s Shell debut on Easter Eve! I also saw Ingram Hill and Johnnyswim. I was dying to go to Katy Perry, but the tickets were too expensive. NEXT TIME.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
The Mindy Project.
24. Do you dislike anyone now whom you didn’t dislike this time last year?
No, my early impressions of people usually stick.
25. What was the best book you read?
My Favorite Books of 2014. Though I want to add Thrashing About With God by Mandy Hubbard, which I’m reading right now. FANTASTIC.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
HAIM and Banks
27. What did you want and get?
A great new church. Some great new friends. Lots of wonderful things I never thought to ask for.
28. What did you want and not get?
Career progress. Love. More years with my cat.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
I’ll just list all the movies I really enjoyed this year: Begin Again, Edge of Tomorrow, Mockingjay, Interstellar, X-Men: Days of Future Past, The Fault in Our Stars, Draft Day, Frozen, Divergent, Veronica Mars
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 35. I ran a 5K and had a night out downtown with friends. It was only part of my Birthday Week of Awesome! (I’m tempted to keep going with that model and not save it for milestone birthdays.)
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I pretty much answered this already, but my year was satisfying regardless.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
I’m trying to cut the excess and focus more on well-made clothes I really love. It makes life easier.
33. What kept you sane?
My friends, my counselor, sunshine, endorphins, and vitamins.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jimmy Fallon, as usual.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Michael Brown verdict and everything that followed. At some point I saw a tweet to the effect of, “If you’ve ever wondered where you would have stood during the civil rights movement, you’re about to find out.” I believe this to be true. #BlackLivesMatter.
36. Who did you miss?
My siblings, nieces, and friends far away.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
It was a banner year for meeting great new people! They know who they are. ;)
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
Ask for what you want. And, related: BYODK (Be Your Own Damn Knight).
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Gotta make hay when the sun is shining
Can’t waste time when it comes time to dance
Keeping in touch with the windows down
Dreading this night since the rain hit the ground
Long live the heart, long live the soul
That knows what it wants
No matter how far, how heavy this load
It never lets go.
– NEEDTOBREATHE, The Heart
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I went to the inaugural Miami Beach Bowl on Monday to watch my Tigers play BYU!
First I spent some time with family, which of course included a trip to Shuckers, our family’s Cheers for the past 20 years.
My grandfather and I went to the beach, where I introduced the nautilus to the other coast.
My friend Wes (whom I met in Memphis and now lives in Miami) kindly took me to the pre-game party on the rooftop of The Clevelander on South Beach. IT WAS AWESOME. My tiger ears got a surprisingly intense reaction from other fans. One older man who waited for the elevator with us said I was “cute as a speckled bug.” Hey, if Ariana Grande can wear cat ears recreationally, I can do it for my team!
Throughout our 9-3 regular season, the football team’s motto was “1-0.” Don’t worry about the whole season, just focus on going 1-0 each game. So I felt like this banner over the DJ booth was the main thing that made it a Tiger party! (Especially since Pouncer wasn’t there. I guess he partied somewhere else.)
On game day the weather was perfect! I arrived at Marlins Park early for alumni events and everyone was so pumped. During the pep rally, I suddenly felt So Memphis and So Miami simultaneously that I think the two parts of myself have finally merged.
BYU had some interesting, Memory-like sideline flashcards, including these dinosaurs and a photo of the Seattle skyline.
Memphis vs. Errbody
Four quarters and two overtimes later, VICTORY WAS OURS!!! A word about the post-game brawl: I didn’t see it happen. In the stands, we were all too busy celebrating and generally freaking out. I didn’t know anything about a fight until people started texting me. But from the footage I’ve seen, it seems pretty clear that BYU started it. I hate that this bowl will be remembered for the fight instead of the great game, but at least the national media seems to be on our side instead of jumping to the default “Memphis is a bunch of thugs” narrative.
Paxton Lynch was MVP. So happy for him! (Though I’m more of a Sam Craft fan.)
Trophy presentation to Coach Fuente and Paxton by the mayor of Miami Beach.
Very happy Tiger fans!
I’m eternally grateful to my college BFF and her husband, who donated frequent flyer miles so I could be our “representative” at the bowl. It was an amazing experience, my second-best trip of the year (behind Hawaii), and one last great crazy thing to cap off my Year of Alive. ♥
Throughout the year, I spend way too much time and energy curating a musical yearbook of sorts. It’s a labor of love. When I started doing this in 2002, iPods were new and Spotify not even a twinkle, so I could only choose as many songs as would fit on an 80-minute CD. For simplicity’s sake, I still impose this limit on myself for the final cut – which I select from an ongoing free-for-all playlist.
It’s always hard to narrow down, but this year was especially so. In some instances I chose one song over another purely on whim and flow. The order is roughly chronological. My other rule for the final cut is no duplicate artists, so where applicable I’ll list my other favorites of theirs.
You can listen to this final 2014 soundtrack (minus T. Swift) and the much longer free-for-all 2014 soundtrack on Spotify.
1. The Wire – HAIM
Always keep your heart locked tight. Don’t let your mind retire.
I fell in love with HAIM at first listen. These sisters are like indie California Debbie Gibsons, and their music made summer last all year for me.
Runners-up: Falling, Days Are Gone
2. Dark Horse – Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
So you wanna play with magic? Boy, you should know what you’re falling for.
This year I gave up any pretense that I’m NOT a huge Katy Perry fan. And with Memphis native Juicy J guesting on this track, I couldn’t ask for more.
3. The Man – Aloe Blacc
Stand up now and face the sun, won’t hide my tail or turn and run. It’s time to do what must be done. Be a king when kingdom comes.
Aloe Blacc is so soulful and down-to-earth. Also I think of poor Kevin Garnett every time I hear this. Hang in there, Kev!!
Runners-up: Love Is The Answer, I Need A Dollar
4. Chandelier – B.o.B. feat. Lauriana Mae
They say life’s about choices. In the face of defeat, I declined. Put your soul into everything, never back down. That’s how you leave a legacy behind.
B.o.B. is one of the most underrated rappers out there, and this has been one of my go-to running songs for a couple of years. I just love it.
5. Am I Wrong – Nico & Vinz
I ain’t tryna do what everybody else doing, just cause everybody doing what they all do.
I have a mental musical category called Boat Music: summery songs that would be perfect to listen to on my grandfather’s boat in the middle of Biscayne Bay. I can’t pin down a commonality – either it works or it doesn’t (much like my mental list of songs I want to compile into a musical). I first noticed “Am I Wrong” as Boat Music and kept listening for the great message.
6. Almost – Sarah Harmer
And if I am a sailor, you are the warm gulf wind. And you’ve blown into this little port and roused my dreams again.
About a boy.
7. Diamonds – Johnnyswim
We’re the fire from the sun, we’re the light when the day is done. We are the brave, the chosen ones. We’re the diamonds, diamonds rising up out the dust.
I don’t often listen to iTunes Radio (especially now that I have Spotify Premium), but one of the few times I have, this song popped up and grabbed me immediately. I downloaded it before I was even finished listening to it for the first time. GRYFFINDOR MUSIC. Love Johnnyswim!!!
8. One – U2 with Mary J. Blige
You say love is a temple, love the higher law. You ask me to enter but then you make me crawl.
If I HAD to pick only one favorite song of all time, One would probably be it, and this Mary J reissue from a few years back is as good as the original. She sings it like she is having church, which worked for me, because I’d have wanted to say the same things this year if I got into a pulpit.
9. Love Robbery – Kalin & Myles
That’s just how it goes when you fall for a heartbreaker whose heart has been broken before.
A fun piece of R&B fluff that I listened to about a hundred times this summer.
10. Let Me In – Grouplove
Let me in, yeah let me get closer. Got my hands high like I ride a roller coaster.
A song for those times when you (metaphorically) throw yourself over a cliff knowing you will almost certainly hit the ground, and don’t even care.
11. Time Machine – Ingrid Michaelson
Your broken sorrys don’t mean a thing. You made that bed, good luck falling back asleep.
If Ingrid is still the sweet “If you are chilly, here take my sweater” girl to you, give this song a listen. It’s a barn burner with a saxophone hook. GET IT, GIRL.
Runner-up: Girls Chase Boys
12. Finish What We Started – Ingram Hill
Nothing matters without love, ’cause baby it’s all that we’re made of.
I renewed my Ingram Hill fandom this year, getting familiar with their past three albums in one swoop and seeing them live on the Peabody rooftop on my birthday weekend. This is one of my faves and one of their best to run to.
Runners-up: Miss Kennedy, Four-Letter Word, I Hear Goodnight, Broken Lover
13. Daydreaming – Paramore
I wanna get out and build my own home, on a street where reality is not much different from dreams I’ve had. A dream is all I have.
2014 was a year of new appreciation for some of my most-neglected Paramore tracks, including this one. I started listening to it a lot after my birthday, when I started thinking about moving back into the city and taking more serious steps toward the life I want.
14. Beggin for Thread – Banks
I got some dirt on my shoes; my words can come out as a pistol, and I’m no good at aiming, but I can aim it at you.
Banks is another artist I discovered randomly (on Spotify this time) and fell in love with instantly. My first thought upon hearing this song was, Her voice sounds just like Ginny Owens [of CCM fame], except Ginny Owens would never say some of these words. I downloaded Goddess the next day and listened to it on a loop for weeks. Probably my top album of the year.
Runners-up: Under The Table, Brain, Goddess, This Is What It Feels Like, Warm Water
15. The Phoenix – Fall Out Boy
You know time crawls on when you’re waiting for the song to start, so dance alone to the beat of your heart.
If I stopped pretending to the world this year that I don’t love Katy Perry, I also stopped pretending to myself that I don’t love Fall Out Boy. This may be the best non-Britney, non-Beyonce running song ever. EVER. Instant motivation.
Runners-up: Alone Together, Young Volcanoes
16. Rather Be – Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne
If you gave me a chance I would take it. It’s a shot in the dark, but I’ll make it.
Another addition to the Boat Music list, this song makes me think of sunshine and the ocean and is a shoutout to all the people I love. Because this year, whenever I was with them, there was no place I’d rather be.
17. Riptide – Vance Joy
This cowboy’s running from himself, and she’s been living on the highest shelf.
I have no real explanation for liking this song, except it’s different, and I’m amused by the random Michelle Pfeiffer reference.
18. Blank Space – Taylor Swift
Oh my God, look at that face. You look like my next mistake.
This choice might be surprising since I devoted an entire post to Out of the Woods, but as I listened to 1989 obsessively, Blank Space was the song I kept coming back to. I’m not proud to say so, but it’s where I currently feel Taylor the most. It’s the clear-eyed statement of a woman who’s ready to own her weaknesses, face up to the hopelessness of her romantic situation, and just get whatever getting is good.
Runners-up: Out of the Woods, All You Had to Do Was Stay, Shake It Off, Clean
19. Vice Verses – Switchfoot
You got your babies, I got my hearses. Every blessing comes with a set of curses.
Every line of this song is poetry. It’s also been the Psalm of Brenda in the later part of this year. If you want to know what I’ve been struggling with, just listen to it.
20. Yellow Flicker Beat – Lorde
I’m speeding up, and this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart.
Lorde wrote this for Mockingjay Part 1, and it’s by far the best song written for a movie since Adele’s Skyfall. She captures Katniss’ voice and the themes of the story perfectly. After listening to it a few times, I decided I wouldn’t find a better closing track for 2014, because it describes my current state. Beaten down, but with faint hope coming back, waiting to be blown from an ember into a fire.
And that’s it. PS: as I’ve looped these selections, I’ve been happy to notice a common ocean/water theme in many of the lyrics. Not even on purpose!
Although I hope to finish a few more books in the next couple of weeks, I’m going ahead and calling my top books of 2014!
FICTION
Rainbow Rowell Fest: Rowell was my favorite author of 2014, hands down. I read Eleanor & Park in 2013 and knocked out the rest of her oeuvre this year: Fangirl, Landline, and Attachments.
Sci-Fi: Julie Cross’s Tempest trilogy was a fresh, highly addictive take on time travel that really deserves the movie-or-TV treatment. And Rick Yancey followed up alien-invasion story The 5th Wave with a bang that left me going, NO. WAY.
Dystopia: I waited until the whole trilogy was out to tackle Divergent, and I’m so glad I did. It consumed me for a couple of weeks. While I understand the gamut of complaints about it and wasn’t super thrilled with the ending myself, I still found Tris and her world so thought-provoking I could probably write an academic paper on it.
Coming of Age: In The Probability of Miracles, a teenager dying of cancer spends a summer with her family in a town known for its miracles. I promise it’s funnier and more uplifting than it sounds. I also just finished Since You’ve Been Gone, about a shy-ish girl whose flashier best friend disappears, leaving her with a list of daring tasks to complete in her absence. Loved it.
Contemporary: Isla and the Happily Ever After was a great conclusion to Stephanie Perkins’ cities trilogy.
V. Mars Still Rules: I wasn’t sure how Veronica Mars would translate to the page, but I really shouldn’t have feared since creator Rob Thomas started as a novelist. Can’t wait for the next installment. More Logan, please!!!
NONFICTION
Memoir: I really can’t say enough about Amy Poehler’s Yes Please. I also loved I Don’t Know What You Know Me From by perennial movie best friend Judy Greer, and the relatable and funny Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without A Date.
Daring Greatly: Stitches, Let’s All Be Brave, and Beauty and the Bitch all brought grace and Wholeheartedness into my life without mincing words.
Life: Jonalyn Fincher’s Invitation to Tears might be the most honest, helpful book for grieving people I’ve ever read. And Revelations of a Single Woman gave me a needed vocabulary for random aspects of the unexpectedly single life. It was so reassuring to hear her describe things I’ve struggled with and go, Oh. This isn’t my own weirdness, this is a thing.
Culture and Faith: I read Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion as a book club selection. I probably never would have picked it up on my own, but I still can’t stop talking about it. In City of God, Sara Miles’s bringing of Ash Wednesday ashes to the masses gave me a lot to think about.
So what should I add to my to-read list for next year? Leave me recs!
1 Comment + Posted in: book reviews, year end
Finch and Violet have a meet-cute with an edge: at the top of their school’s bell tower, both thinking about jumping. Outcast and abused Finch, recently “Awake”, thinks he might rather die than fall Asleep again. Popular Violet is weary of her grief and shame after her sister’s recent death in a car accident. When they both come down from the ledge, he’s fascinated by her, and she wants to pretend the whole thing never happened. Then he volunteers her to be his partner on an Indiana history project. As they wander the countryside exploring natural springs and homemade roller coasters, they give each other something and someone to live for, proof that life can still be good. But for Finch, even that may not be enough.
In her author’s notes, Jennifer Niven says All the Bright Places was inspired by a true story and a boy she loved, which (for me) gives it an even bigger emotional punch. It’s an unflinchingly honest, but sympathetic, picture of mental illness. Being pretty unfamiliar with bipolar disorder, I had a hard time grasping what exactly Finch was dealing with until the end. While his family’s abuse and neglect was also tough to read about, these issues have needed more representation too. In contrast, I loved Violet’s healthily supportive parents. (You know I’m getting older when I admire the good parents in YA novels and want to congratulate them.)
This book and Niven herself have garnered comparisons to John Green and Rainbow Rowell, and I’d say that’s accurate. And since I’m a huge fan of both authors, that’s one of the best recommendations I can give.
Recommended for fans of: The Fault in Our Stars, road trip stories, Garden State
Also: anyone who is or loves someone struggling with mental illness, or just wants to understand it better.
I received this book free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
1 Comment + Posted in: book reviews