The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown (5 stars)
More solid advice from my life guru. In fact, I already need to read this again.
Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World by Bob Goff (3.5 stars)
A series of essays about love and faith, most involving a story from Bob Goff’s life or one of his friends’. Bob encourages others to see life as he does: totally without limits. While he has a lot of wisdom and inspiration to share, his pride in ignoring social and practical boundaries rubbed me the wrong way at times. In fact, some of his “capers” bordered on rude. I also wondered how his advice might sound to someone trapped in a difficult situation without the resources he has. Still, I enjoyed it, and the good parts are really good.
Isla and the Happily Ever After by Stephanie Perkins (4 stars)
The final installment of the trilogy that began with Anna and the French Kiss. Isla has been secretly in love with Josh, St. Clair’s best friend, since their freshman year at the School of America in Paris. After a chance meeting in NYC while they’re both home for the summer, they finally connect for real as their senior year begins. Their relationship is everything Isla dreamed of, but she can’t seem to shake her insecurity – about Josh, her inability to form real friendships, and her uncertain future after graduation. Although the title pretty much gives the ending away, this story takes plenty of turns. Nothing compares to the original Anna, but I related to Isla the most of Perkins’ heroines (and definitely liked her more than Lola).
Yes Please by Amy Poehler (5 stars)
If you’re wondering, Yes Please is as good as Tina Fey’s Bossypants and maybe even better. This half of the best comedy duo of our time also has plenty of insights and hilarious stories to share. You’ll get lots of info about Amy’s childhood and amazing family, the start of the Upright Citizens Brigade, and Parks & Rec; inspiring words about womanhood and living authentically; and funny, relatable essays (I especially loved the one about things people ask you after your divorce). Fantastic.
Landline by Rainbow Rowell (5 stars)
Georgie, a TV comedy writer, has finally gotten her big break. She and Seth, her best friend/writing partner, only have a few days to write the show they’ve been dreaming up since college. Unfortunately, it’s Christmas. After Georgie sends her husband Neal and their two daughters off to Omaha without her, she realizes how disconnected she and Neal have become – and that he might not have left her just for the holidays. When she calls him from an old phone at her mom’s house, she reaches Neal fifteen years in the past… during the weekend between their breakup and his proposal. Unsure if she’s supposed to change the past or make it happen, all she knows is that she loves Neal then and now, and is ready to do whatever it takes to get him back. I didn’t love Landline quite as much as Fangirl or Attachments, but it’s classic Rainbow Rowell – funny, hopeful, and REAL. I read it in one night!
24/6: A Prescription for a Happier, Healthier Life by Matthew Sleeth (4 stars)
An engaging examination of the importance of the Sabbath, and how ignoring it is affecting us individually and as a society. It wasn’t a coincidence that I read this at the start of a month that ended with me realizing I’m burned out. I’ve failed at intentional Sabbath-keeping for years. Anyway, Sleeth is an experienced ER doctor who applies lots of his war stories to the subject of rest. Good stuff.
Books for November: 6
2014 year to date: 69
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Image credit: Photiq Photography
General Highlights:
November’s main event was my best friend Alanna’s wedding. This was probably my last bridesmaiding gig, and it was a great way to go out! I was so happy to spend time with our friends from out of town and get to know Alanna’s family better. As glad as I am to get back to normal, I’m already wishing for another excuse to get everyone together.
SIPsters and bridesmaids gather at Muddy’s Grindhouse
I participated in the True Blue 5K again, running the whole way and setting a new PR! In other Tiger news, football season continued and basketball season began. Kathy, Daniel, and I have moved down at the Forum from row T to row J, i.e. in front of the banners! HUGE DIFFERENCE. The way the team is playing, it looks like we picked a bad year to make the jump, but I’m still holding out some hope.
I served on a jury for the first time in November. Maybe I had an especially good experience, but I don’t understand why everyone gripes about jury duty. You get to be out and about downtown in the daytime, meet interesting people, and do something that’s really helping the community, all instead of going to work. I was finished by Wednesday afternoon. What’s not to like?
My friend Myla’s family invited me (and our friend Becky) to spend Thanksgiving with them, and I had a wonderful time! My parents live here, but my family has split up on Thanksgiving for about a decade – it’s a long, hunting-related story – and I wasn’t up to traveling for the holiday this year. So I had a fun, restorative day on her family’s farm. Myla and Richard brought their cat and introduced her to some horses!!
Just this week, I’ve realized that I have a serious case of burnout. That might sound ridiculous since I am not a parent and don’t work long hours, but trust me. I’ve been feeling down, unmotivated, and exhausted for several weeks and thought I was mildly depressed. That might still be true, but I now believe burnout is more likely. I don’t know yet what I can feasibly do about it, but I know I have to do something. More on this as it develops.
Reading:
Amy Poehler’s Yes Please was my book of the month, hands down. Also great: my last unread Rainbow Rowell, Landline, and my guru Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection (which I already need to re-read, apparently).
PS: My Kindle Touch has stopped downloading – galleys, library books, or purchased books. Everything goes into the cloud and then gets stuck on Pending. I’ve contacted customer support, tried all the basic fixes, and nothing has helped. Anyone?
Watching:
Contact (with Jodie Foster) is one of my favorite movies of all time. Interstellar is its spiritual sister. Both movies are about wormholes, unseen aliens, and fathers and daughters. And McConaughey is the common denominator. Who knew?
Mockingjay Part 1 was fantastic. In the hands of lesser actors, these movies could have been a joke, but this cast gives the story the gravity it deserves. I especially loved Elizabeth Banks’ Effie in this one. Even in unforeseen circumstances, she remains exactly who she is and keeps on doing her job.
Travel:
I didn’t travel anywhere in November. Thank the Lord.
Around Town:
I was enthralled by the New Ballet Ensemble‘s Nut ReMix at the Cannon Center. It’s an adaptation of the Nutcracker set on Beale Street, and every year it’s a little different. By the way, the NBE just won a National Arts and Humanities Youth Programs Award. Pretty awesome.
While downtown for jury duty, I finally had lunch at the Littlest Tea Shop, an institution among downtown workers. I ate an entire basket of their cornbread by myself and wasn’t even sorry.
Products:
After I confessed to propping my phone on top of my shower doors for musical purposes, my friend Stacy pointed me toward a brilliant invention called the ShowerMate. You can stream anything from your phone to this surprisingly quality Bluetooth speaker. So far I’ve brought three people (that I know of) into the church of the ShowerMate. JOIN US!!!
Beauty:
I read about the Makeup Revolution Iconic 2 eyeshadow palette on The Budget Beauty Blog and finally decided to give it a try. It’s an exact dupe of the famous Urban Decay Naked 2 palette, which retails for $52. The Revolution palette is under $20 including shipping from England. I’m having a lot of fun with it!
Random Happiness:
I kept Alanna’s two cats at my house while she was on her honeymoon, bringing the total to an unprecedented three cats. They were a lot of fun, and I didn’t have to feel like a crazy cat lady because they’re not mine. Woo! My Peach wasn’t phased by them at all, but they didn’t share her desire to be friends. She and Charlie reached an uneasy truce by the end, though.
Pinterest Quote of the Month:
Quote by Finn Butler. You know I really love this rendering because I can overlook the misspelling of “breathe.”
On The Blog:
In addition to the posts I referenced above, I shared my favorite roast beef recipe; analyzed a Taylor Swift song; looked at YOLO from a different angle; confessed that I often trust Hollywood writers more than I trust God with my story; and was thankful for my involvement in the arts.
Posts I Loved:
♥ November is a tough month for me. Several people I love were born in it, but it’s also full of personal sad memories and milestones. And being so close to the holidays and at the cusp of winter, it’s an unfortunate time for such things. So I appreciated bloggers talking about that experience this month: my friend Becca reflecting on nine years without her mom, and Amy at The Messy Middle talking about dealing with bad news at the holidays.
♥ Jamie the Very Worst Missionary: #Blessed.
♥ Heather Caliri guesting at Little Did She Know: Bible
♥ Such Small Hands: What Happens When You Go Viral: On Wanting to Give Up
♥ The Memphis Flyer did a fascinating interview with Memphian/jookin’ superstar Charles “Lil’ Buck” Riley: Most Buck
♥ Jayson D. Bradley: The Gospel’s Too Silly To Be Mocking Other Faiths
♥ Smile of the Month: Night of 10 Trillion Elsas at The Sparkly Life
7 Comments + Posted in: what i'm into
I don’t really keep thankfulness lists, at Thanksgiving or any other time, but last weekend I realized something I’m thankful for that’s off the beaten path. I’m thankful that I’ve gotten to appreciate and participate in the arts all my life.
Like many little girls, I started ballet at the age of three. I loved it and continued taking classes until my family moved to Memphis after fourth grade. That was the end of my real training, so I never got to go en pointe, but I’d often do barre exercises by myself. In college I took ballet for my phys ed requirement. I’ve taken adult ballet a few times (one of the classes was taught by a former Bolshoi dancer who revolutionized the fundamentals for me). When I was in college, my friends and I went swing dancing every week at one of the campus ministry houses. I took a few ballroom lessons when I was engaged. Most recently, I was part of a line-dancing group for five years. By the standards of the dance world, I’m over the hill at 35, but I feel more at home in my body and more interested in dance now than ever. It kills me not to have room in my schedule right now for a class (maybe modern or even hip-hop?), because I miss it to a physical degree.
My grandmother is an artist. When I was a kid, we often went to art museums and talked about the pieces, or did projects she’d come up with. She encouraged me to think outside the box and color people’s faces purple if I wanted to. I’ve never been a great visual artist (though my high school notebooks were full of cartoonish fashion designs), but I’ve always loved messing around with color and different mediums for my own enjoyment. I’m happy to have that creative outlet.
In my school system growing up, band started in sixth grade. My mom made a rule that my siblings and I had to learn an instrument for a year. If we didn’t like it, we could quit when the year was up. I ended up with the flute, because my cousin gave us hers, and 24 years later I’m still playing it. Music and band culture are part of me down to my bones. My marching band years in high school were some of the best and most formative of my life (as everyone hears about if they meet me more than once). Again, I’ve never been a spectacular musician, but hopefully my heart makes up the difference. After I joined a community band last year, I tried to explain to my dad why it felt so positive and important to me, and he said “You don’t have to have a reason.” The best I can do is, no matter where I am or what’s going on in my life, I can sit down in a band rehearsal and I’m home. Playing with a group centers me in a way almost nothing else does. It’s my second language. I will always be thankful to my mom for this gift. (PS: I want to learn the oboe, but switching instruments at my age is pretty daunting. Not to mention buying an oboe.)
And of course, there’s writing. I seriously cannot remember a time when reading and writing weren’t constants in my life. I think my mom has “stories” I wrote in preschool (probably about The Flintstones, one of my early obsessions). When I can’t write out my thoughts and feelings (if only privately), I feel crippled and incomplete, like Harriet the Spy without her notebook. Words are my air and my lifeblood.
I know creativity is common to most people and I’m not a special snowflake or anything. But the arts connect me to God, other people, the universe, and even myself on a daily basis. My life is so much richer because of them, and I’m so thankful that I’m part of them and they’re part of me.
My life has a superb cast, but I can’t figure out the plot. – Ashleigh Brilliant
Every fall, my pop-culture Bible Entertainment Weekly devotes an issue to the new TV season. As I read the 2014 edition a few months ago, packed with interviews with writers and showrunners, I was struck in a new way by their authority over their stories. As is tradition, many of them had thrown crazy things at their characters at the end of last season or divided their protagonist couples, but they already had plans in place to resolve those conflicts. Sometimes in the first couple of episodes. Because nothing can prevent storytellers (at least the good ones) from remaining faithful to their arc. Neither fire, nor flood, nor misunderstanding, nor stunt-cast love interest can prevent everything from working out as it should (usually happily) – or at least making sense – in the end.
I thought about how safe I would feel knowing my fate is locked in, there’s nothing I can do to mess up my own eventual happiness, and the setbacks I face are temporary. That I’m in the hands of people who know what they’re doing and will not be thwarted. For a long moment, I seriously envied fictional characters. And then I went, Oh.
I am in the hands of the Ultimate Storyteller, and I trust Him less than I trust Hollywood writers.
I have never had a shred of doubt that God can do anything He wants. He is sovereign and limitless. (If He wanted to, He could pull a Dawn from Buffy and make a soul mate for me right now out of dust and plant memories in all of our heads that he had always been there. But, you know, that’s not really how He rolls.) My skepticism has never been whether God can. It’s whether He will. And my belief that He will gets weaker all the time, because for His own reasons, He so often chooses not to. I’ve seen parents and spouses lost way too soon and friends struggling through miscarriage, infertility, unemployment, underemployment, financial struggles, loneliness, difficult marriages, and unwanted singleness that goes on and on. I’ve seen people cry out to God for years while nothing really changed. In a lot of these stories, deliverance and/or resolution eventually came. But when many “seasons” have passed, you start to wonder if you have your own story arc at all… or if you’re just a background player walking in sad circles, a plotline dropped in favor of the more interesting things happening to other people.
Not long after this EW revelation, I was discussing similar things over dinner with a new friend. When she brought up Jeremiah 29:11 – that favorite ruler-wrist-slap of Christians everywhere – I braced myself. But she wanted to talk about the context. In Jeremiah 29, God is talking to the Jews exiled to Babylon, who are crying out for deliverance to go back to Israel. He tells them He will eventually bring that to pass – but not for seventy years. So they need to settle in and get comfortable with Plan B, because their own personal dreams of going home are never going to come true. Then He says, For I know the plans I have for you, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. I wish I could talk to the Israelites about how they found comfort in that, then and at the end of their lives. (At least they had confidence that things would be better for their descendants.)
The problem, I guess, is that we all want to be on The Mindy Project, but some of us are on Game of Thrones. And most of us are somewhere in the middle, somewhere between comedy and tragedy, and our plots could go either way. We don’t know what kind of show we’re living in. We don’t know if we’ll get personal triumphs or if we’re more of a device to move the big-picture story forward. I know that the overall story of the world ends happily. But I’d love a little reassurance that my smaller story is going somewhere good, or even anywhere at all… at some point before the end of time.
4 Comments + Posted in: faith, reflections, the writing life, tv
Last month I had the pleasure of seeing Johnnyswim in concert. Introducing what they refer to as their “YOLO song,” Amanda pointed out that “you only live once” is used almost exclusively as justification for doing risky and usually ill-advised things. No one says, “Buckle your seatbelt. Take a nap. Take time out for the people you love. You only live once!”
I thought that was so wise.
My Year of Alive has motivated me to take chances before I had time to overthink them, make changes I’ve needed to make, and open my heart without regard to how it might end. I’m living more in the present instead of in constant preparation for a future that probably won’t look like anything I’ve imagined anyway. I want to stay on this road and am happy about my progress.
But the roller coaster of YOLO has worn me out. I was having a blast at first. Then the ride accelerated past its posted speed, momentum carrying it forward and ever faster. Embracing Alive started to mean doing constantly bigger and better things to make my life worth something and myself worth knowing. I pursued the loud, bold, and exciting a little too hard, and lost my original intent, which was to be more Alive from my soul. I forgot that there’s life in stillness too, that you need both and too much of either one can be unhealthy. I started to want off the ride, but I still don’t quite know how to eject.
There’s still more excitement to come in these last weeks of my Year of Alive – and of course, the frenzied holiday season is almost here. But I want to be more mindful about it, remembering what my priorities should be and what I really stand for, instead of charging ahead on autopilot. To the roots of my being, I feel simultaneously exhausted and jittery, like I’m surviving on Red Bull. Chasing a high will do that. It’s gotten too loud in here to hear my own heart. Before I (metaphorically) jump out of any more planes, I need to make sure it’s something positive I really want, not just a feat of derring-do for its own sake. That’s fun and empowering in small doses, but I’ve had plenty. Being fully Alive isn’t just about the moment. It’s also about where you’re headed. Because you only live once.
This post was written for the monthly One Word 365 linkup at The Messy Middle, but it looks like we’re not having it this month. You can also check out my Alive Pinterest board.
6 Comments + Posted in: one word 365