In September 2012, my friend Alanna texted me that she was thinking of signing up for Christian Mingle. Despite the freshness of a terrible experience with eHarmony and my disdain for Christian Mingle specifically, I encouraged her to go for it if she felt good about it. Within 48 hours, she started talking to a guy named Jonathan. They went on their first date the following weekend. He proposed this past Fourth of July at Turner Field in Atlanta, and last Saturday, they got married.
Results not typical, indeed, but it couldn’t have happened to better people. I didn’t even need to have the semi-joking “If you ever hurt her, I will hunt you down” conversation with Jonathan, and that means a lot to me. I’m continually thankful that the married women closest to me are with good men who see their value and love them deeply. Even the best marriages go through rough times, of course, but it’s a gift not to feel anxious about my friends’ (or my sister’s) marriages or whether they’re being treated well.
Alanna worked with a seamstress to alter her mom’s wedding dress, and I can’t get over how gorgeous, classy, and perfect for her it was. Duchess Kate would have approved. Early in the process, Alanna texted me and Allie (one of the other bridesmaids) a picture of herself smiling in the dress in its original 1970s state with no commentary. Ever-tactful Allie finally replied, “How elegant!” Then she assured us this was the Before picture and we collapsed in relief. Hilarious.
The bridal party got to choose our own navy dresses. I loved that they all expressed our personalities but still looked great together and didn’t cost a fortune. My dress was from The Limited. I had my eye on it last spring, but it sold out online before going on sale. So after the engagement, I ordered a dress from eShakti instead. In person, it was less flattering than I’d hoped, but I was still going to wear it in the wedding. Then, I popped into The Limited on my birthday and found My Dress on the clearance rack. Only one, my size, 70% off. I thought the lace and chevron might be too distracting for the wedding, but Alanna insisted. I love it and am excited that I can wear it regularly now!
It even looked good with a puffer coat. From the altar to the slopes!
We all received orange wraps to wear with our dresses. Guess where the groom went to college?? As he cut his Auburn cake at the reception, he shouted “War Eagle” and everyone responded like it was a liturgy in church. Oh, SEC.
Besides the actual marriage, the most exciting thing about the wedding was most of the SIPsters being together. In 2009, a bunch of us who knew each other on LiveJournal met up for a weekend in Knoxville. We went thrift shopping together, and I can’t remember if we actually found a pair of jeans that fit several of us, but Bethany’s husband started calling us the Sisterhood of the Traveling Secondhand Pants. Since several of us had had eyebrows raised at us about hanging out with people from the internet, we also called ourselves the Scary Internet People. Eventually that was abbreviated to SIP and merged to create SIPsters. I know it’s cutesy (and efficient), and cliquey (our borders are flexible). Even though most of us live far apart, these women have become some of my favorite people in the world. We try to hang out as a group at least once a year, and get together in smaller groups whenever we can. It’s never enough time, though. I was thrilled that Caroline, one of my local best friends, got to meet them at the wedding. She texted her husband that she’d just met the SIPsters, and he replied, “WTF is a SIPster?” So, there you go. Alanna’s sister Katharine is another SIPster and the person who suggested Alanna and I should hang out. She was the matron of honor, and getting to share this experience with her was a happy bonus. I’m thankful to have her in my life, and I will always be thankful to her for bringing her sister into my life too.
I didn’t make any speeches this weekend because I couldn’t have gotten two words out without crying, but I don’t know what I would have done these last few years without Alanna. She has been my defender, my rock, and my safe harbor. She’s prayed for me, encouraged me, continued to hope for me when I can’t anymore, internet-stalked guys on my behalf, and helped me decide which shoes more times than I can count. I can tell her anything at any time of day or night and never worry that I’m bothering her (even when I am) or sound crazy (even when I do). In short, she is everything a best friend should be. I wish her all the happiness in the world.
4 Comments + Posted in: celebrate, friends, love
For the last several weeks, I’ve been unabashedly obsessed with Taylor Swift’s 1989. Sometimes I stop and take a mental picture* the first time I hear a song, because I have a feeling the song is going to mean something to me for years to come. I had that experience with track 4, “Out of the Woods.”
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods yet?
Are we out of the woods?
Are we in the clear yet?
Are we in the clear yet?
Are we in the clear yet?
In the clear yet? Good.
On the surface, this repetitive chorus might seem like lazy songwriting. But the more I listen to it, the more I appreciate its brilliance. If we’re quiet enough to hear it, who among us doesn’t have a little voice inside asking those questions ad nauseam? I’ve asked them during all kinds of difficult situations and in every romantic relationship I’ve ever had. I’ve spent years, collectively, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’ve waited for resolution, to be able to tie a bow on things and declare them finished. I’m still waiting.
The truth is, we are never out of the woods (and when I read that in Taylor’s liner notes, I did a little fist pump of recognition). As soon as we make it into the open in one sense, we find ourselves in a whole new forest. If we experience meadow times when everything is clear, sunny, and sure, we need to soak them up because they’re temporary. We spend so much energy pursuing the meadows (and beating ourselves up if we can’t find our way there), but that’s not where we were made to live. We were made for the woods. We were made to be a little lost, a little uncertain, with our only surety that God made the woods and is in them with us.
Sometimes that’s really hard to swallow. But I want to see the woods as a place of adventure more than I see them as a threat. I want to make my peace with the shadows and the crunching leaves. I want to hug a tree.
* = I don’t think the flash went off.
1 Comment + Posted in: music, reflections
For most of my life, I couldn’t run without feeling like I was suffocating. National fitness tests, field days, and laps at practices were a nightmare for me. Even during my marching years, I walked most of our daily required running, envying those who could run easily, even joyfully. I figured it was an ability that you either had or you didn’t, and I didn’t.
Sometime after I moved to my current house, I started trying to run when I went for walks. At first I sprinted maybe fifty yards at a time. Slowly – like over a period of years – I increased to jogging a few minutes at a time. It seemed like such a laughable accomplishment, but I was thrilled. Running was just as difficult for me as before – I still struggled, cramped, and gasped for air. I wasn’t sure why I even wanted to, because I honestly didn’t expect it would ever get easier or better. There was no runner’s high. It was pure work. But I could do it anyway, and somehow the satisfaction of that was enough motivation to put myself through regular torment.
The switch finally flipped about a year ago. I was on the treadmill in the weeks before the True Blue 5K, trying to increase my speed and maybe my running intervals – I figured I’d still be walking most of it. At the point when I normally stopped, I realized I could keep going. So I did. I ran for about fifteen minutes, and I didn’t die. I did it again the next day, and the next week, and ended up running about 75% of the race. I marveled that in my mid-thirties, my body could suddenly and inexplicably do something it had never done before. My dad said it was simple: I was finally conditioned. All that time I’d pushed myself, with no hope that it would amount to anything, had made it possible for me to run the way I’d always wished I could.
This summer I trained to run a whole 5K, and I did it, on my birthday. I knew people who blew through that race in half my time as part of their marathon training. But to me, just running the entire 5K in any time was as good as a marathon. Just a couple of years before, it had seemed about as unlikely. And still, the best part of doing a hard thing was knowing that I could – having that precedent for the future.
I knew I would do the True Blue again this year because it’s my favorite. It’s a night race that winds through the University of Memphis campus. I didn’t stress about it and only did a couple of prep runs. I was hoping for a better time than my birthday race, but I never doubted that I could run the whole thing, which would be a first at the True Blue and therefore still an accomplishment. When I crossed the line last Friday night, I knew right away that it was going to be a good race. I could feel in every step how much stronger I was than the last time I ran that course. I never felt like I was struggling. The further I went, the more joyful and thankful I felt. Thankful to be under a full moon, running confidently on familiar paths I walked during some of the best years of my life with some of my best friends. Thankful to have a strong, healthy body. Thankful in ways I can’t explain. I think I was smiling most of the way.
When I ran through the tiger head at the end (the True Blue is worth doing for this alone), I saw that I’d finished five minutes faster than my birthday race. Later I confirmed I’d beaten my previous record 5K time by .02 seconds. .02 seconds is hardly worth mentioning. But to me, it was everything.
5 Comments + Posted in: empowerment, fitness
I don’t cook beef very often, but I got this roast beef recipe from my friend Melanie about ten years ago, and it’s still my favorite! Now that fall is here and Winter is Coming, take five minutes to throw this into a Crock-Pot and you’ll be very happy at the end of the day.
Crock-Pot Italian Roast Beef
Ingredients:
1 five-pound rump roast
1 .7-ounce package dry Italian dressing mix
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon of each of the following: basil, garlic powder, onion salt, oregano, parsley, salt, and pepper
Directions:
1. Combine bay leaf, spices, and three cups of water in a saucepan. Stir well and bring to a boil.
2. Place the roast in the slow cooker and pour the dry Italian dressing over the meat. You can also add the spices directly to the meat if you don’t have time for the boiling step. If your slow cooker is like either of the ones I’ve had, and you’re going to be out of the house, you’ll probably need to add more water to keep the meat from burning.
3. Cover and cook for the desired time. When done, remove the bay leaf and shred the meat with a fork.
Melanie’s serving suggestion was to do French-dip roast beef sandwiches (with melted Swiss cheese). For second-night leftovers, thicken the au jus into a gravy and serve the roast beef with mashed potatoes. It also goes well with Balsamic Roasted Carrots, which is how I ate it last night!
4 Comments + Posted in: food
General Highlights:
October was a month of brides and babies. I got a new niece, E, and a new “nephew” via Caroline, one of my best friends! My friend Esther got married (and our old adult ballet class had a little reunion at the wedding). I also helped throw a bridal shower and a lingerie shower for my best friend Alanna, who’s getting married in two weeks.
After almost a year of anxiety about it, my house got a new roof, covered by my insurance and put on in one day. I’m still amazed by how the whole thing unfolded and God’s provision. NOT having to spend $10K on a roof will change your life!
Reading:
The monthly book list posted yesterday – all my flight time this month meant a lot of reading! My three favorites were Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion by Elizabeth L. Cline; 5th Wave sequel The Infinite Sea; and Barbara Brown Taylor’s memoir Leaving Church.
Watching:
Thanks to my sister, I finally started watching Gilmore Girls this month. Friends have told me for years that I would love it, and they were right.
Music:
It just came out on Monday, but I’m obsessed with Taylor Swift’s 1989. No shame. Favorite tracks: 2, 4, 5, and 13. You can listen to my ever-expanding 2014 playlist on Spotify.
I found out at the last minute that Johnnyswim was coming to town, and it was one of the best concerts I’ve been to in years. If you ever have a chance to see them live, GO. They’re incredibly talented and seem like incredible people. I don’t make proclamations like this often, but I knew they must be believers because the Holy Spirit was just radiating from them. Crazy-sounding but true… and something to aspire to.
Video:
I hadn’t seen Sia’s “Chandelier” video, but when my sister, BIL, and I started watching an SNL skit spoofing it, we stopped and watched the original first. I suggest you do the same – it’s awesome in its own right!
Travel:
At the beginning of the month, my mom and I went to Evansville for the premiere of a documentary my brother made for Uncharted International. It’s called Ang (the Burmese word for home), and he filmed it in Myanmar last summer. I’m so proud of him!
Then I went to Orlando for work, but I was just in meetings all day for two days and then came home. No shenanigans! The following week, I flew to Dothan to meet my new niece.
Around Town:
I saw Once at the Orpheum this week with my friend Ashley. I didn’t know much about it going in, but it was magical and the music was fantastic!
In my continuing spree through the restaurants of Cooper-Young and Overton Square, I tried out Greencork (awesome) and Schweinehaus this month. Good times.
I’ve missed Memphis Madness the last two years, so I was excited to go. It’s basically a citywide pep rally for Tiger basketball. Sadly, it was a little meh this year – featured performer Rick Ross brought all the excitement. The Forum charging for tickets and not letting people move down to better empty seats didn’t help the situation. Neither did the fact that we only have three or four returning players. I’m trying not to let this cast a shadow over the season for me!
Wearing:
I needed good white and gray cardigans, so I snatched these up at a Banana Republic outlet for 70% off. There’s nothing revolutionary about them, but I cannot stop wearing them. I’ve already asked my brother to go back and pick up whatever other colors they have.
One of my brother’s best friends just got silkscreening equipment, and one of his first projects was this family lobstering logo Kevin designed. We all LOVE these shirts, and word is my uncles are practically wearing them daily.
Oh, and I busted out last year’s Starbucks cup costume for my Halloween concert last night with the community band! Tonight there’s a costume contest at Tiger Lane before the Homecoming game, and I had started making a “bikini” from team logo fabric to go as a Tigers Sexy Sheet Ghost. But I would have had to sew it all together when I got home last night at 9:30, and I was just too tired. Maybe next year.
Pinterest Quote of the Month:
On The Blog:
With lots of traveling, things demanding my attention, and general exhaustion, writing has been difficult this month. But I posted about being an introvert raised as an extrovert, took you on a tour of scenic lookouts and LOST filming locations on Oahu, told the story of my new (and only) tattoo, and participated in Hollywood Housewife’s One Day photo project.
Posts I Loved:
♥ Paul Heggie: Go On and Tear Me Apart (Paul is killing it these days – check out his whole blog.)
♥ Jonalyn Fincher: Consent Is Complicated
♥ Jamie Wright Bagley on the importance of empathy: Stability Central. (I took the Strengths Finder test a while back and Empathy is my primary strength, so I’m learning all I can about how to make the best of it.)
♥ Danielle Carey: “Be more attractive.”
♥ Beautiful poetry from John Blase at A Deeper Story: The Pledge We Make
♥ My friend Lindsey on beginning a prison ministry: A Sobering Moment
♥ Hollywood Housewife: People and Love (I’ve had to relearn this hard lesson many times)
♥ My friend Bethany on the myth of the 50% divorce rate: When A Myth Actually Matters
♥ Sorry I can’t go a month without linking Glennon Melton, but: What If Your Life Is Already The Best Thing?
♥ LOL of the Month: The Life of Bon: The Art of Kissing
9 Comments + Posted in: what i'm into