Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (4.5 stars)
Ifemelu leaves her native Nigeria for America after education strikes prevent her from completing college. She expects her sweetheart, Obinze, to join her within a couple of years. But life doesn’t turn out as planned for either of them. This novel is a large-scale treatise on race, family, politics, and identity. It’s also a love story. I’ve never read anything like it, and am now more motivated to diversify my to-read list.

Rock-Bottom Blessings: Discovering God’s Abundance When All Seems Lost by Karen Beattie (4 stars)
Karen Beattie has been through some stuff. Within a period of a few years, she was laid off, nearly went broke, lost her mom suddenly, and dealt with infertility and thwarted adoptions, all after getting married at 40. She understands the struggle to hang on to a positive faith when everyone else is easily receiving the things you desperately want. I related to her and loved her honesty and her story.

Belles by Jen Calonita (3 stars)
Since her single mom died in an accident, Izzie has lived with her grandma in the boardwalk town of Harborside. When her grandma’s Alzheimer’s becomes too severe, Izzie is whisked away to live with distant relatives in high-society Emerald Cove. Her new family includes Mira, a Gossip Girl the same age as Izzie, and they don’t exactly hit it off. I read a lot of YA novels that could be ABC Family pilots, but this one takes the cake in both good and bad ways. While it isn’t terrible, it’s a little flat and formulaic.

Singled Out: Why Celibacy Must Be Reinvented in Today’s Church by Christine A. Colón and Bonnie E. Field (4.5 stars)
A much-needed discussion of how single Christians are supposed to live now, as many of us remain single into our 30s, 40s, and beyond. Raised with the expectation that our abstinence and single life would end quickly, we need more acceptance from and inclusion in the Church, as well as more long-term solutions. I agree with and appreciate all of the authors’ points, and strongly encourage anyone in ministry to read this book. I will say that it took me a long time to finish, because soon after starting it, I was no longer in the mood to think deeply about my singleness and its potential permanence. But, you know. Reality.

The One That I Want by Jennifer Echols (3 stars)
After making the majorette line at her high school, Gemma and her best frenemy Addison meet two cute football players at a camp at Georgia Tech. Gemma and Max have instant chemistry, so she’s stunned when he asks Addison out instead. While there’s a lot of great dimension to this plot and to Gemma and Max as characters, I can only ride the Misunderstanding Train so far, hence the 3 stars. (Also, Addison is incredibly annoying.) However, yay for a peripherally band-related novel. We band nerds demand more!

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han (4 stars)
Lara Jean, the middle of three close-knit sisters, is a closet romantic. Too shy to tell the guys she’s liked how she really feels, she keeps a box of confessional letters that she never intends to send (I can relate). Then someone finds and mails the letters, the boys – including her sister’s ex-boyfriend – start confronting her, and all hell breaks loose. This story is as much about family as it is about boys, and there are some unexpected twists. Fun times!

Books for August: 6
2014 year to date: 46

1 Comment + Posted in: book reviews

General Highlights:

August 2014 was my most eventful month in a LONG time. I turned 35 and milked it for all it was worth, including an Ingram Hill show and a triple birthday party at Mollie Fontaine’s. I successfully ran a full 5K for the first time. I co-hosted a baby shower for one of my best friends, who’s expecting her first baby. I partied on the Orpheum stage and the Peabody and Madison rooftops. I spent almost all of my waking non-work hours out with friends old and new. I met wonderful new people at dinner clubs and neighborhood block parties and church events until I reached complete introvert burnout. Then I went to Miami with my family for a week!

Read and Reading:

I spent most of August with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Americanah, an autobiographical novel about the Nigerian experience in America and beyond. (I intended to read it with the Red Couch Book Club in July, but the book wasn’t available at my library until later.) It was excellent, but took me forrreeeeverrrr for some reason. The rest of my book list, which will post tomorrow, was read on a plane. My two favorites were Karen Beattie’s Rock-Bottom Blessings – an honest reflection on life seemingly passing you by – and Jenny Han’s latest novel, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. (Lara Jean’s private, cathartically written letters to her past loves are discovered and mailed. Chaos ensues.)

Music:

I finally downloaded Ingrid Michaelson’s Lights Out album, and it’s great, especially the fearless “Time Machine.” I also discovered Grouplove via their The Fault In Our Stars soundtrack contribution, “Let Me In” (which I listened to about ten times one day). Other tracks I spun obsessively: Meghan Trainor’s confidence booster “All About That Bass”; “Love Robbery” by Kalin & Myles (I offer no excuse); T. Swift’s latest, “Shake It Off” (the video is exactly the kind of video I would make); and Beyonce’s “Get Me Bodied,” which blasted from the past to become my unexpected birthday-month anthem.

Video:

In June, my brother Kevin went to Myanmar with Uncharted International to film a documentary about human trafficking. He posted the trailer this month, and it’s very powerful. They’re having a red-carpet premiere in Evansville on October 2. The documentary is NOT just a commercial for their ministry – some stuff went down while they were filming. I am continually in awe of my brother’s talent and so proud that he’s using it for good.

Cooking/Eating:

Once again, I mainly ate salads when I was at home this month (like this one, with homegrown cherry tomatoes!). But I painted the town restaurant-wise. I hit up Interim and Belle Bistro for my birthday, and was in Overton Square constantly. Then I enjoyed pounds of fresh fish and key lime pie in Florida. September might be a good time to rein it in a little.

Beauty:

I finally tried Maybelline’s Baby Lips lip balms, and they live up to the hype! They’re SPF 20 (good for the beach/pool/boat) and have the perfect amount of color. Cherry Me and Oh Orange make my Fall complexion happy.

Random Happiness:

In August my insurance company agreed to cover a new roof for my house! I’ve been worried about this situation for many months, and the lifting of the potential financial burden is HUGE. Now I can travel and live more adventurously again. Thanks be to God, and to my BFF Alanna’s fiance, who helped me with the claim.

I got a new boss at work this month! This, too, was an answer to prayer. We haven’t worked together too much yet, but I have a good feeling about her.

Pinterest Quote of the Month:

Travel:

As aforementioned, I just got back from my annual family trip to Miami and the Keys. (I visit Miami at other times too, but this one is set in stone.) I’ll post a recap (including what a day of lobstering is like) later this week!

On The Blog:

In connection with my birthday, I shared 35 quotes that shape my life, listed my role models, and talked about my birthday bond with Elvis.

I had some empowering epiphanies in August, and finally realized that I can trust and depend on my friends. I felt a major shift in my life and heart this month. I hope it sticks.

Posts I Loved:

♥ Cara at Little Did She Know: The Beautiful Already. Cara is killing it these days, so just go read all her posts!

♥ Allison Vesterfelt at Storyline: The Easiest Way to Get Exactly What You Want (a lesson I have learned powerfully this month)

♥ Amy at The Messy Middle, reflecting on family tradition: When The Baton Is Passed to You

♥ On Pop Theology: Harry, Severus, and David: The Danger of a Single Narrative

♥ Myla Smith: The To Don’t List

♥ Kate Conner: Look Up (Why I Hated Women’s Ministry)

♥ Amber at Tabula Rasa: Less Than

♥ LOL of the Month: Glennon Melton: See No Jesse, Hear No Jesse, Speak No Jesse

6 Comments + Posted in: what i'm into

For me, and I think for most people, one of the worst things about singleness is the pervasive sense of alienation. We may have happy, active social lives, but when everyone goes home and the house is quiet, we don’t belong to anyone but ourselves (and God, but that’s not the focus of this post). We are not anyone’s primary loyalty or priority. No one has vowed to love and cherish us, lodge where we lodge, or stick by us until the bitter end. When you get down to it, we’re on our own.

I’m really fortunate to come from a close family, and I know I belong to and with my parents and siblings. But I’ve never felt completely secure in my friendships. For various reasons, as a teenager and young adult, I never quite let my guard down. I always felt like the dispensable one in any relationship. I half expected my friends to ditch me at any time. During my 20s, I formed several solid, healing friendships that are still in place. Then my marriage fell apart. The foundation cracked, and some other connections that should have been solid cracked with it. Even as my head acknowledged my ex-husband’s neglect and abandonment as an isolated incident, not representative of my relationships in general, my heart kept saying, The only person you can depend on to have your back is you. Do not get too attached or dependent on anyone. People always leave. I’m thankful for the strength this outlook gave me (and still does, sometimes), but it wasn’t much healthier than my old passive insecurity. It was just the empowered flip side. Understandable under the circumstances, but not a good long-term philosophy. I’ve spent years working my way out of it.

This summer, I have finally stopped holding my breath in my close friendships, near and far. It’s been a time of growth and positive change, with hopefully more to come, and as it’s unfolded my friends have been so steadfast. I’m living more dangerously, in a good way, and they’ve cheered me on and then helped me up without one “I told you so.” I’ve been friends with some of these people for over ten years, but I fully understand for the first time that they really love me. They want me to have the desires of my heart almost as much as I want them for myself, and they believe that it’s possible when I can’t anymore. They see my bruises the same way I do – as badges of honor. We are all in the arena together, and when we share wise words with each other, they’re often followed by, “You taught me that.” (Then we all feel pretty awesome for being able to quote ourselves to ourselves.)

Yes, many of my friends have spouses and families, and hopefully the ones who don’t eventually will too. But that loyalty can coexist with other loyalties. Yes, some friends come and go, but some are with you for life, no matter where life takes you.

I don’t deserve it. But I can hang my hat on it. And it’s good to be home at last.

19 Comments + Posted in: friends, relationships, singleness, thankful

Two of my close friends, Alanna and Hillary, have birthdays the same week as mine. This year we turned 29, 30, and 35, respectively, so we decided a triple birthday celebration was a must! Of the three of us, Hillary is the most in touch with what’s cool around town, so we welcomed her suggestion of the Mollie Fontaine Lounge near downtown. It was an EXCELLENT choice.

The lounge is across Adams Avenue from the historic Woodruff-Fontaine House (as well as the Mallory-Neely House and the James Lee House Bed & Breakfast). The house was built in 1886. There are bars downstairs and upstairs, and several lavishly decorated rooms for lounging. It’s perfect for a large group – you can just take over a room and not bother anyone. (Though a guy poked his head in to ask if we were having a pajama party. ???)

I had a peachy gin concoction (I forgot the name immediately, which might be further proof that it’s good?) and the mac and cheese. Both were heavenly.

Myla and I both wore animal print, which was funny since “wild” is not our primary characteristic.

Okay, let’s pretend this is RSVP Magazine:

This party was a wonderful finale to my uber-extended birthday celebrations (yes, I’m done – you’re welcome)! I definitely plan to go back to Mollie’s.

2 Comments + Posted in: birthday, friends, memphis

I have been away from this blog, kicking off 35 with a BANG.

Last Thursday, Hillary and I went to the Peabody rooftop to see Ingram Hill, a local band that’s had some national success. I’ve been a fan since the early aughts and love their recent stuff too, so I’d been looking forward to this show all summer. The rooftop was packed with Memphians of a Certain Age who knew all the words. While I really wanted to hear “The Day Your Luck Runs Out” and “Finish What We Started,” they played so many other great songs that I can’t complain. After the show, we got a picture with Justin, since we’re practically the only locals who didn’t already know him. (I was briefly in marching band with the original drummer, but he’d never remember me.)

On Saturday morning, I ran the Elvis Presley 5K at Graceland! Until a few years ago, I couldn’t run at all. I slowly increased my intervals of running and have done many 5Ks running and walking. But it remained a struggle until last fall, when, miraculously, my shin splints disappeared and I no longer felt like I was suffocating when I ran. I started “training” for this race in May, determined to run the whole thing without stopping. Well, I DID IT, and couldn’t believe how easy it was and how great I felt afterward! My time took a big hit – 39:35 – but my goal this time was endurance, not speed. I could have gone faster but wanted to make sure I wouldn’t melt down at the end. Now I know I can push harder! Memphis is a city of highly competitive runners, so I often feel apologetic for being excited about something like a 5K. But it was a big accomplishment TO ME.

Early on in the race, I caught up with a block of sailors from the Millington Navy base who were running in formation. Thinking these people know about endurance, I decided to hang with them and had a great time! Plus, if I’m running with the Navy, I must be doing okay!

My dad came out to support me, which was really nice of him (as usual). Then he took me to Pancake Shop for a birthday breakfast.

That night, I went downtown with some friends. We had an amazing dinner at Belle Bistro on Union near Main, then drinks at one of my favorite places in Memphis, the Madison Hotel rooftop. Unlike the Peabody rooftop, it has an outdoor bar/lounge area and an unobstructed view of the river and bridge. We missed the sunset, but the night view is beautiful too. Looking out over the dark river slightly placates my longing for the ocean.

On Sunday afternoon, I Love Memphis was having their own birthday party at the Wiseacre brewery, so my friend Ashley and I hung out there for a couple of hours. Later, my parents took me out for my birthday dinner with them. I chose Interim this year and was NOT disappointed! The seared yellowfin tuna was to die for.

This isn’t even the end of my birthday celebrations – I also have a joint party with two of my best friends tomorrow night! If all this is any indication, 35 could be a pretty great year. May it be so.

6 Comments + Posted in: birthday, fitness, food, friends, memphis, music