I could never myself believe in God, if it were not for the cross. The only God I believe in is the One Nietzsche ridiculed as “God on the cross.” In the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it? I have entered many Buddhist temples in different Asian countries and stood respectfully before the statue of the Buddha, his legs crossed, arms folded, eyes closed, the ghost of a smile playing round his mouth, a remote look on his face, detached from the agonies of the world. But each time after a while I have had to turn away. And in imagination I have turned instead to that lonely, twisted, tortured figure on the cross, nails through hands and feet, back lacerated, limbs wrenched, brow bleeding from thorn-pricks, mouth dry and intolerably thirsty, plunged in Godforsaken darkness. That is the God for me! He laid aside his immunity to pain. He entered our world of flesh and blood, tears and death. He suffered for us.

– John Stott, quoted in Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter

Calvary is judo. The enemy’s own power is used to defeat him… It is, of course, the most familiar, the most often-told story in the world. Yet it is also the strangest, and it has never lost its strangeness, its awe, and will not even in eternity, where angels tremble to gaze at things we yawn at. And however strange, it is the only key that fits the lock of our tortured lives and needs. We needed a surgeon, he came and reached into our wounds with bloody hands. He didn’t give us a placebo or a pill or good advice. He gave us himself.

– Peter Kreeft, quoted in Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter

2 Comments + Posted in: faith, quotes

I’ve always loved stories about guy and girl best friends and whether or not they’ll become more, so I scooped up Better Off Friends by Elizabeth Eulberg. (This was my first Eulberg book, but her other titles are intriguing!) When Levi moves from California to Wisconsin in the middle of seventh grade, his classmate Macallan is the first person he meets. Macallan is still recovering from the loss of her mom in a car accident, and, though pretty and well-liked, is a little bit of an outsider. Levi’s surfer cool sticks out like a sore thumb in a sea of Midwestern jocks, so Macallan takes him under her wing. Before long, they’re inseparable – almost like family. Better Off Friends follows their friendship through the ups and downs of middle school and high school, as they repeatedly wonder whether they should take their bond to the next level or they’re better off… you know.

I didn’t expect this book to skew so young (how about reading the summary more carefully, Brenda?). But Macallan and Levi are pretty mature for their ages and have some mature problems too. This is a believable story with well-rounded, likable characters, true-life issues, and lots of witty banter (I laughed out loud at some of it). If I’d read Better Off Friends in middle or high school, I would have absolutely loved it. But I think it’s still enjoyable at any age.

Recommended for: teen readers; fans of friendship-based love stories

I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

3 Comments + Posted in: book reviews

This month’s One Word linkup is a three-month(ish) check-in. Well, Alive is still inspiring me and remains very applicable!

When I chose Alive, I knew it would mean dealing with negative emotions I’ve tried to sweep under the rug. Even after working on it for many years, I still feel guilty about feeling angry or discouraged. Especially since most of my anger and discouragement falls into one of two categories: things I can’t do much about, or things prompting me toward actions with problematic outcomes. Like many other Christians who bought the self-denial package early on, I tend to dismiss these feelings while reproaching myself to have a better attitude. Last year I realized that in the process of shutting myself off from negative emotions, I was also hardening my heart. My emotional range was narrowing quickly. It scared me, because God made me sensitive for a reason, as a gift, not to torment me. I’m convinced that to fulfill my purpose on this earth (whatever it is) and find happiness, I need to be fully myself and fully open to God and life. Opening the door to all that, accepting the messiness of it, was my main motivation for making Alive my word. Well, let’s just say it’s working. It’s not fun, but I keep reminding myself that it’s far preferable to being a well-behaved robot.

I think about my word almost every day. It’s especially easy lately, with the black-and-white starkness of winter giving way to a Technicolor nature cartoon. Alive is all around me. Even the knowledge that I’ll have to start mowing soon doesn’t dampen my excitement about the grass greening up. After this Longest Winter Ever, when I notice a new flower or tree in leaf, something in me relaxes. I feel more alive just because the world is too. I also remember my word whenever I wear my chai necklace.

Overall, I know Alive is the right word for me. I don’t feel that it’s disappointed me, so far, but sometimes I feel like I’m disappointing it. There’s so much to learn. I need to keep working on my openness to messiness, but I also want to become more and more attuned to beauty, joy, and God’s presence in the everyday. We still have over eight more months, but seriously, I don’t think this effort is going to end with 2014.

This post is part of a monthly One Word 365 linkup at The Messy Middle.

7 Comments + Posted in: linkup, one word 365, spring

I’ve been looking for a new spring and summer purse. Although most of the bags I own are well worn, they’re still functional, so I haven’t wanted to spend a lot. Yesterday evening I stopped by TJ Maxx and browsed through the purse section. Finding nothing good under triple digits (!), I was on my way out when I spotted a pretty coral bag of just the right size and structure. The tag said $16.99! Done. Just to cover all my bases, I quickly looked through the rest of the rack. Another purse that caught my eye turned out to be a duplicate of the one I was holding. That’s it, I thought, I need to buy this purse.

But something made me pause. I examined the bag a little more closely and noticed how flimsy it was. The material was very lightweight, some threads were poking out, and I could tell the lining would rip at its first contact with a key. The bag would fall apart in no time, and then I’d be back here, on another search for a replacement for something I liked that hadn’t lasted. Suddenly I felt tired. I’m always compromising in the name of sensibility and a good bargain, but in the long run, it usually means more work and trouble. Sure, I could buy this purse and have a bright new accessory for Easter. I could be satisfied right now. But I knew it would be a temporary satisfaction. I put the purse back on its hook, and left.

I didn’t realize until that moment how weary I am of disposable things. I’d rather not invest myself in them anymore, even if they truly make me happy in the short term. I’d rather hold out for what lasts, even if it requires more of me and the wait is long. I’m tired of disposable clothing, disposable conversations, disposable relationships. It’s time to make peace with preferring quality in a quantity world. There’s a place for fun and frivolity, but I don’t want to make my home there. I want to be able to rely on things that are enduring and real.

6 Comments + Posted in: reflections

The small park near my house is a consistent joy in my life. It’s where I jog and people-watch. Sometimes I drive over with a picnic blanket and read next to the fountain with the ducks. There’s a thicket of trees in the back corner that has always been sort of magical to me – one year I took pictures of them at the peak of all four seasons. (Note to self: do something with those pictures.)

For about a week in spring, all the cherry trees in the park bloom at once. It’s an incredible sight. On my way to a party on Saturday, I stopped to take some photos!

I love the carpet of fallen petals almost as much as the blossoms on the trees!

Other signs of spring:

When I opened the blinds Monday morning, this little cottontail rabbit was eating fallen seed from my bird feeder! I had a wonderful pet rabbit for eight years, and therefore get VERY excited about them. This one hung out for about fifteen minutes before suddenly spooking and hopping away. I hope to see him again!

My daffodils took a while to emerge, but they were worth the wait.

And of course, the squirrels are always around!

2 Comments + Posted in: nature, spring