For six years, I’ve been taking yoga once or twice a week at the community center near my house. The center is an old elementary school, and we have class in the “stage room.” My instructor, Paula, and I and a few of the other long-term attendees are great friends. When it’s just us, we talk and laugh the whole time. I’m often distracted by our conversations while leaving, so it’s pretty amazing that I’d never left anything behind.
Before my first yoga class of 2014, I went to the coat closet to grab my yoga mat, and it wasn’t there. Huh. I don’t often misplace things, so this really threw me for a loop. I looked in other closets, under beds, in my car. No luck. At the center, it wasn’t in the lost and found, or in the stage room closet. Thankfully, Paula had an extra yoga mat in her trunk which she told me I could keep. But the missing purple dragonfly mat has continued to haunt me for over a month. I’ve looked everywhere multiple times. I really liked it, and it was the only one I’d used all these years. More frustrating than the loss of the mat was the unsolved mystery of what happened to it. I couldn’t figure it out. I guessed I never would.
Last night we had a lot of new people at class. During the last ten minutes, we do a guided relaxation, and I lay with my legs propped flat against the wall (it provides a lot of health benefits!). Due to all the doors, chalkboards, and floor vents, there aren’t many good places in the stage room for this pose. So I broke habit and used a wall on the stage, next to a little half-door at the top of the stage stairs. At the end of relaxation, you’re supposed to roll onto your right side and then up to a seated position. Well, when I rolled over, my foot hit something. I opened my eyes and was totally stunned to see… MY YOGA MAT! There it was, in its purple glory, wedged between the half-door and the wall. I definitely didn’t put it there, but I must have left it behind and someone tossed it back there for some reason, or it fell.
In life, we often lose things and never find out why. So I wanted to share this happy story of my unexpected reunion with something I thought I had lost forever. :) Namaste!
3 Comments + Posted in: fitness, life lately, thankful
The One Word 365 site has a search feature for other people and bloggers who share your word. One fellow “Alive Tribe” member I’ve connected with is Kelly Youngblood. In the first post I read on her blog, she shared about buying a chai necklace to remind her of her word. Chai is the Hebrew word for life, the root word of the common toast l’chaim (to life!). Many Jewish people wear chai necklaces to remind themselves of the symbol’s different meanings, which you can read about here.
I’m increasingly drawn to meaningful jewelry, so immediately I knew that I wanted – nay, needed – a chai necklace too. But I had just splurged on a ring from my Etsy favorites list and didn’t want to spend any more. Then I remembered the two diamond pendant necklaces in my jewelry box. They were gifts from my ex-husband, pretty but not exactly my taste. I hadn’t worn them since my divorce because, to me, they just screamed Generic Wife Gift. I was never especially attached to them. Over the years I’d thought a few times that I should sell them and get something I loved with the money, but never got motivated to do it. Now I decided that I’d been saving them for this moment. I would exchange these symbols of a lost marriage to a man who never fully saw me for a statement of a full life and God’s sustaining love. It was perfect.
So, a couple of Saturdays ago, I went to a local jeweler of good repute to sell the necklaces. I felt really positive about my decision. But something unexpected happened while the jeweler’s assistant was writing up the paperwork. I looked at those diamonds shining up at me from the glass countertop, and suddenly grief and the familiar old feeling that I didn’t want to do this welled up in me. I reminded myself that I had felt excited about it just moments before and that this was an affirming and constructive thing to do. Still, I felt like I was ripping out a piece of my heart. I took the money, and barely made it out the door of the store without crying. (It was a little humiliating, but they probably see emotional displays regularly.) It took me about an hour to stop.
I couldn’t even remember my last hard-hitting “Oh Yeah, I Had A Husband Once” moment, the kind that lurks around innocent-looking corners waiting to snipe you. They reduced their full-scale attack on me a long time ago. But I’m sharing this story as proof that they can still get you years down the road, so don’t be surprised or feel ridiculous when it happens. I had forgotten that it’s always painful to part with something connected to a person you loved who is irrevocably gone – it doesn’t matter how long it’s been. There was also a new layer of grief that I hadn’t faced before: knowing that I might never have another experience of receiving a special gift from a man I love. I mean, we’re all hoping for the best, but this is a real possibility that I have to address realistically once in a while. Like faith, grief applies itself to your life in new ways as your life changes.
Once the bout passed, I dried my tears, got online, and ordered myself a chai necklace. It arrived last weekend, and I’ve been wearing it almost constantly. (I’m a little worried that it might be offensive to Jews for me, a Christian, to wear a chai, but Kelly had the same concern and a friend of hers told her it was okay. Plus, I’m part Jewish, so I have some claim to it, right?) My original intentions in getting the necklace are even stronger now because of this experience. This little gold disc will remind me not only to consider what it means to be Alive in the present, but also of all God has brought me through to become as fully alive as I am today, and for someday when I’ll be more alive than I can even imagine right now. It’s a declaration and a promise.
7 Comments + Posted in: divorce, grief, jewelry, one word 365
A few months ago, I had problems downloading a few Netgalleys to my Kindle. The system is working now, so I’m trying to clear a few no-longer-new titles off my dashboard. First up is Cat Sense: How the New Feline Science Can Make You A Better Friend to Your Pet by John Bradshaw. As a happy cohabitor with two cats, I was excited to learn new information about cats from this book. However, the book is geared a little more toward science and animal husbandry than an everyday understanding of our pets. Bradshaw, a British scientist, describes in depth how cats have evolved over centuries and continents, and how past societies treated them (some of this was sad to read). He explains feline societal behavior in the wild and important points in the life cycle of the cat.
For me, the biggest takeaway from Cat Sense was the lifetime impact of a cat’s experiences during its first few months of life. After a certain age, it’s very difficult for a cat to change its ways. My older cat, Gandalf, was part of a litter cared for by my former boss, and I brought him home when he was about six weeks old. So he wasn’t exposed to or handled by a lot of people as a kitten, or with other kittens for very long. According to the book, this explains his general shyness and anxiety around strange cats. Meanwhile, I got my younger cat, Peach, from a shelter when she was over a year old. I have no idea what her kittenhood was like. She’s extremely friendly and amenable to petting (having been around many people and animals at the shelter), but has some annoying nagging behaviors and hates to be picked up. She also loves to lay on my car in the garage. For years, my dad has jokingly called her “Street Cat.” After reading this book, I told him, “You know what? She WAS a street cat!” (I also suspect she was separated from her mother too early.) In summary, when adopting a cat, the more you know about its history, the better.
If you’re looking for funny kitty anecdotes, Cat Sense is not the book for you. It’s pretty dry, and I could only handle a little at a time. Honestly, I probably would have given up on it if I wasn’t reading it for review. But it does contains useful (and even eye-opening) facts, and interesting musings on the “personalities” of cats and the future of the domestic cat population.
Recommended for: Veterinary students, cat fanciers
I received this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
3 Comments + Posted in: book reviews, cats
Cat Sense: How the New Feline Science Can Make You a Better Friend to Your Pet by John Bradshaw (2.5 stars)
This was a Netgalley, so a separate review is coming soon. For now, I’ll say that while there was some good information here, I found the delivery very dry and repetitive.
The Here and Now by Ann Brashares (4 stars)
I reviewed this here. Note: I finished it almost three weeks ago and am still thinking about it and some of the questions it raises.
My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick (4 stars)
For years, Samantha has been fascinated with the large Garrett family next door. Their bustling, happy home couldn’t be more different from the silent mansion she lives in, with her older sister graduated and her emotionally unavailable senator mother campaigning for re-election. But then Jase Garrett appears on her balcony, and suddenly her days of spectating are over. Although Jase is pretty dreamy, this isn’t just a love story. It’s about family and the costs of doing the right thing.
Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Live I Didn’t Expect by Connally Gilliam (4 stars)
A fantastic memoir/advice-type book about the struggles of “later,” unintentional single life. I’ve never seen or heard some of these topics addressed before. The chapter about fragmentation, especially, filled me with relief that this is A Thing and not my own personal neurosis. She defines it so much better than I’ve been able to thus far. While her tone can be a little prim, I really admire her honesty, insightfulness, and refusal to place herself above her readers. If you want to understand what single Christians are facing today, read this!
Stitches: a handbook on meaning, hope, and repair by Anne Lamott (5 stars)
This was a great, tone-setting first book of 2014! It’s not very long, but every sentence is a gem – just classic Anne Lamott talking about hope and life and stuff.
The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider (4 stars)
I’m thankful Kathy gave me this novel for Christmas, because somehow, I had never heard of it. Ezra was a star athlete, class president, and general ruler of the school at the end of his junior year. Then his wrist and knee were shattered in a hit-and-run car accident. As senior year begins, he knows he can’t go back to his old life, but has no idea who he’s supposed to be. Then he reconnects with his less-popular childhood best friend and his fellow debate team members, including the witty and mysterious Cassidy. This is a funny, real, and profound novel with John Green overtones. It’s about coming out from behind your mask and accepting who you’ve been all along.
Books for January/2014 year to date: 6
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General Highlights:
I wish I had a snow photo to top this post, but despite a whole month of bitterly cold temperatures, Memphis remains snow-free. Aside from that, for me this has been the best January in recent memory. Nothing monumentally great has happened, but I’ve stayed pretty clear of sickness and winter blues. That’s something to celebrate! I also haven’t pushed myself to go out as much, and it turns out I’m very happy at home with my books.
In keeping with this low-key contentment, my January highlights aren’t very exciting. I had several good, intentional conversations with friends that encouraged and energized me. I attended a Praying Life conference with Paul Miller at my church – if you ever get a chance to hear him, go. We celebrated my dad’s birthday. I was present for several Tiger wins (and two losses), and also went to a Grizzlies game with several friends. I met with a freelance writer acquaintance and got some good advice from her. Oh and we got a new Whole Foods! They opened a new, expanded store right next door to the old one, which had been there for several years. It is AMAZING.
Read and Reading:
I was on track to set a recent high for books read in a month, but then it took me forever to finish my latest Netgalley. Here are my three favorites for January. Stay tuned for the monthly book post.
TV/Movies:
The 200th episode of How I Met Your Mother, in which we finally got to see the Mother’s backstory, totally slayed me this week. Expect posts inspired by this show as we head into the last eight episodes.
The only movie I saw in January was Frozen, and I’m a little bit obsessed. The cats are already tiring of my rendition of “Let It Go.”
Music:
The sisters of HAIM are rocking my world. In typical fashion, I “discovered” them a little late. Their summery sound is a fresh blend of Debbie Gibson at her peak, and modern-day Tegan & Sara – in other words, Brenda Crack.
I also got Ben Folds’ three-CD The Best Imitation of Myself: A Retrospective for Christmas, and it’s in heavy rotation. That man is a genius.
Cooking/Eating:
Although the recipe isn’t new to me, this month I’ve made at least three batches of Shauna Niequist’s Everything Muffins (as I call them). You can tweak them to your taste, and they’re delicious yet contain NO oil, butter, or refined sugar. Tip: if you mix in frozen berries, don’t thaw them before baking – they bleed into the batter a lot if brought to room temperature.
Wearing:
In beauty news, I tried out Drew Barrymore’s Flower line this month. (It’s only available at Wal-Mart, so you know I was really interested if I was willing to go into the belly of that beast.) After checking out some beauty blog reviews, I got the lip butter in Haute Honeysuckle and the creme eyeshadow in Awesome Blossom. I’m pleased with both! I’d never tried creme eyeshadow before, or such a reddish tone, but it’s fun to apply and looks beautiful on. I’ve been pairing it with olive green shadow in the crease.
Random Happiness:
These great pictures of my niece from Christmas. She loved her recorder!
I relaunched on WordPress this month, a move months in the making. So far it’s totally worth it. I feel refreshed and inspired in this new space!
I’m still floored by the response to my post A Letter to the Separated, which has so many hits I thought there must be a stats error. I wrote this post straight from my heart, in about half an hour, after a conversation with a friend who’s beginning to navigate a divorce. Knowing that it’s touched and helped many is so fulfilling to me. This is why I write, and what I want to do with my life. So thank you.
Posts I Loved:
Lindsay Tweedle: When My Greed Told Me I Was Afraid
Cara Strickland is killing it this month: Life As A Crepe and Divorce Optional
Katie at Skunkboy: The Tale of Cats (cute and charming)
Conversion Diary: 22 Things I Learned In My First Ten Years of Parenthood
Letters From Scarlet: Candy and Nuts
Donald Miller at Storyline: How I Learned God Cares About My Fear
Enjoying The Small Things: A Rekindled Romance
The Messy Middle: Changing The Rules of The Game
Feel free to link up!
7 Comments + Posted in: what i'm into