The 2019 Survey

I’ve completed this survey every December since 2001. This year, some of the questions felt repetitive, not applicable, or overly negative and I decided to make some changes. Many questions are the same, though. You can find past years’ posts in the Year End tag!

1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before?
Gave up sugar (for the most part); got pregnant; had a miscarriage; deferred my own health insurance to get on with my spouse; became a landlady.

2. What was your One Word for the year?
My One Word for 2019 was Love. I never sat down and wrote about it, but I’ve experienced and contemplated it from all angles this year. More about this in another post if I have time.

3. What new places did you visit?
St. Lucia for our honeymoon! It was the closest I’ve ever been to the equator. I also took trips to NYC, Kansas City, and Miami (and, as usual, went to Nashville several times to see family).

4. What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 15 – went to New York. April 13 – my “tea and books” bridal shower. May 1 – found out I was being moved to a new position at work with a new team and boss. May 11 – my Memphis-themed bridal shower. June 19 – Mike Conley traded to the Utah Jazz (yes it was a big enough milestone to make this list). June 22 – my bachelorette party. June 29 – OUR WEDDING DAY! July 23 – got the shock of my life when I found out I was pregnant. August 16 – my 40th birthday. August 19 – lost the baby. November 14 – our offer on a new house was accepted, when a week earlier, we had had no intention of moving.

5. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned the big 40. It was a Friday. I went to work in the morning, then treated myself to lunch and went to Ulta and Sephora for my free birthday gifts (still using the Drunk Elephant Protini cream!). In the evening, Taylor and I and all our parents went to dinner at Ecco. We had a party at our house the following night.

6. How will you spend Christmas?
Here in Memphis with Taylor, my parents, and his parents.

7. Did anyone close to you have a child in 2019?
My friend Brandi had an adorable baby boy in the spring.

8. Did anyone close to you die?
A new-ish addition to one of my friend groups died suddenly right at the beginning of January. I was just starting to get to know her, but I liked her a lot, and several of my other friends were close to her. It really shook everyone up.

9. What 2019 achievements are you most proud of?
Sticking with Pilates all year even on the days it felt horrible. Learning a complicated new job with almost no formal training. Getting married – considering my history, I think believing in love (and in Taylor) enough to take this chance again was pretty badass of me.

10. What do you wish you had done better?
I still have so much to learn about justice, inclusion, compassion, and grace toward people who are different from me. I also feel bad that I didn’t volunteer this year, unless you count being involved in the CYCA. Finally, I have not finished my wedding thank-you notes, because every time I really buckled down to do it, something big happened. Grateful that I’m allotted a full year.

11. What was the biggest challenge you faced?
The slow move out of my condo, while processing other huge, emotional changes. Taylor and my dad ended up handling most of the logistics because I was just too overwhelmed. As someone who wants to be capable and independent all the time, I do not feel good about that, but it’s the truth.

12. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Overall I was very healthy this year. However, I’ve had a lot of medical appointments since the miscarriage because I found out I have uterine fibroids. I’m under great care for that and am waiting for more information. PSA: per my doctor, 50% of women have fibroids and don’t even know it until something like this happens.

13. What was your best purchase?
Everything for the wedding. I wouldn’t change any of it.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Again, to the wedding. **cash-with-wings emoji**

15. What were your best new discoveries?
These pajamas. Forever 35. Pixi Glow Tonic. Pete Enns. Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg. Bri McKoy.

16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting married, becoming a real Cooper-Younger, seeing Hamilton on Broadway and standing on the stage right where Lin-Manuel Miranda stood, walking down the aisle to Don’t Stop Believing played by a string quartet, ESPN College GameDay, my church joining up with the lectionary (loving it!), snorkeling in St. Lucia and seeing lots of new fish, TIGERS EVERYTHING.

17. What song will always remind you of 2019?
Swag Surfin’

18. What concerts did you attend this year?
Ingram Hill, Weird Al Yankovic with an orchestra at the Orpheum, Ben Folds at the Shell, Lauren Daigle. I also got to attend a private symphony concert that my friend James won at an auction. It was a special experience.

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I didn’t get particularly excited about any new musical artists this year. However, since getting a car adapter for my phone, I’ve discovered a ton of podcasts. Most of my drive time is now spent listening to podcasts.

20. What were your favorite TV programs?
This Is Us is still my #1, with The Good Place close behind, and the new addition of Memphis-set Bluff City Law. On streaming, I loved Four Weddings and a Funeral, Dead to Me, and The Umbrella Academy (I wasn’t sure how I felt about it while I was watching it, but it’s stuck with me).

21. What were your favorite films?
I made time for Captain Marvel and Avengers: Endgame. Always Be My Maybe was the most enjoyable movie on streaming – I’m ready for a rewatch!

22. What was the best gift you received?
We got a Roomba from Taylor’s brother and SIL. Life-changing.

23. What did you want and get?
Almost everything! ♥

24. What did you want and not get?
Five minutes to catch my breath; not to lose my baby.

25. How would you describe your personal style in 2019?
I tried to focus and simplify my style this year. I could never limit myself to a capsule wardrobe of basics, but I continue to hone in on what makes me feel best. It really does make life easier.

26. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Lin-Manuel Miranda, as usual.

27. Who was the best new person you met?
I knew my now-boss, MiMi, before this year, but she’s become a good friend and I’m so thankful for her. We’re a great team. I also finally met my friend Marie in person after knowing each other online for about 15 years! I wish we lived closer.

28. What were the best conversations you had?
I had many great, thought-provoking conversations with my friend Vada and the other people in our book club. I always learn something.

29. What political issue stirred you the most?
I mean, everything. But I’m especially passionate about these extreme new state laws criminalizing miscarriage (a natural occurrence in 25% of pregnancies!!), and even insisting against all scientific evidence that it’s possible to “transfer” an ectopic pregnancy. Though they claim to be pro-life, these laws are designed to harm and punish women, and I will continue to object to them. And for the record, I felt this way before I had personal experience with the subject.

30. How have your beliefs changed this year?
2019 was a year of settling into/owning the shifts in belief that have occurred over the last few years. After Taylor and I got engaged, I suddenly felt more rooted in many ways, including my faith. I can now confidently say I’m in the reconstruction phase. I feel a joy, steadiness, and curiosity in my faith that I haven’t felt in a long time, but I’m also not interested in locking down a theology of every little thing. Overall I’m content to be open to mystery, follow Jesus as best I can, and let God be God. Some may question my Christianity because it doesn’t look like it used to, but thankfully that’s not their call to make.

31. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked this year?
A long-term home (it’s happening!!). A new laptop, as mine currently runs like a desktop from 1998. Hopefully a child.

32. What behaviors do you want to change in 2020?
I want to reduce my social media consumption/phone dependence; get more yoga back in my life; and work on a couple of specific spiritual things.

33. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Every time I walk down the street with you, I’m as proud as a girl can be
Just to know that you are mine and all that good loving belongs to me
In the presence of all my friends, you stood there holding my hand
And you promised me faithfully that you will be my only man. – Joss Stone

If the bottom drops out, I hope my love was someone else’s solid ground. – Sara Bareilles