Sugar is in EVERYTHING. I started a “sugar busters” diet in May in advance of my wedding, and the first thing I did was spend two hours reading labels in Kroger. Turns out if food is in any sort of package, 90% of the time it has added sugar in it (and/or corn, which you’re also not supposed to have on the diet). It was eye-opening, concerning, and infuriating, because it seems so unnecessary. I feel like with diabetes rates rising, this is going to have to change in the next decade. PS, I used to eyeroll at women who said “oh I can’t eat that, it’s too sweet!,” but eating this way has miraculously recalibrated my sweet tooth, and I feel better when I follow the plan most of the time.
Change is still not my strong suit. By my count, I had at least five major life events in 2019 (most of them positive). I’ve handled it better than any previous version of myself could have, but at this point I’m stretched to my limit emotionally. My husband has let it all roll off and keeps charging ahead into more changes; meanwhile I’m moving again before I’ve even fully grieved the home I moved out of six months ago. I fear 2020 is going to involve a lot of delayed processing.
My password situation is not sustainable. I spent collective HOURS of 2019 trying and failing to remember any of my 1,443 passwords on any of my 100 devices. Yes, I tell my devices to keep me logged in. No, they do not do it. It’s gotten so bad that being asked for a password causes an instant blood pressure spike and, on multiple occasions, tears of frustration. I tried installing one of those One Password to Rule Them All apps, but even that isn’t reliable. In 2020 I have to find a solution other than going completely off grid and moving to a farm.
Having women in leadership is crucial for all the obvious reasons and even more non-obvious ones. If I hadn’t had a supportive female boss during my miscarriage (and ongoing medical crap since), I probably would have tried to tough it out silently at work or been anxious about time taken for appointments, adding more trauma to an already difficult situation. Knowing she has my back and understands what I’m going through has meant EVERYTHING.
My internal relationship map has been out of date. This year, I realized again and again that important friendships had changed – I had been naively chugging along on old steam, not seeing how much both of us and our lives had evolved. It was hard. But I was also pleased to discover that other friendships were stronger and more dear than I had thought. And grateful for the friends who showed up this year in unexpected ways.
Remaining flexible and engaged as we age is crucial to health and happiness – for ourselves and others. I think about this a lot and am more convinced of it every day. My great-aunt Betsy, who died in 2010, is still my role model for aging well in this way. She never lost her curiosity or sense of adventure and always had a spark about her. Most importantly, she was open to change and new ideas. I believe a lot of people in this country (most of them older) are deeply unhappy because they refuse to budge an inch from the ideals of their youth. It feels like we have two realities in this country because a lot of people have opted out of being part of an evolving world. I am NOT saying there’s no such thing as truth or that we shouldn’t stand up for our beliefs. But humanity didn’t get off the train in Bible times, or 1950, or whenever. This train is going to keep moving all the way to the station, and we need everyone on it.
But: Some things aren’t for you, and that’s okay (I’m 40 Remix). It’s been startling to realize my pop culture relevance is declining. I Really Do Not Get some of 2019’s cultural touchstones, such as Tik Tok or Billie Eilish. But you know what? I don’t need to. Let the youths enjoy it. It’s fine.
What did you learn in 2019? Share your wisdom!
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