I saw this felt flower wreath, from Little Things Bring Smiles, on Pinterest and and had to make one for myself! The original wreath used only orange flowers, but a) I didn’t want the wreath to clash with my red door, b) I’m not a monochromatic kind of girl, and c) I was nervous about adorning my house with a lot of anything UT orange.

For this wreath, I bought fifteen sheets of felt at Michaels – five each of cream, orange, and brown – and a couple of sheets of green felt for good measure. I also picked up some florist wire. The bare-branch wreath was one I already had from the year before. I just removed the fake flowers I’d previously added to it. All in all, a very cheap craft.

To make the roses, I traced circles onto felt and cut them out. I used a CD and a coaster as guides, thinking that two sizes of rose would be interesting. After cutting out the circles, I cut a spiral into each one, starting from the outside.

Then I followed the instructions for rolling up the felt circles, starting at the outside of each spiral and rolling tightly. I secured the end of each rose with hot glue. Once all the roses were complete, I cut a few inches of florist wire for each one and pushed it through the hole in the center of the rose, making a small hook at the top of the wire to keep it from pulling through the rose. Then I stuck the wire through the branches, where I wanted the rose to go, and secured the excess wire at the back of the wreath. There’s probably a better way to attach the roses to the wreath, but this way worked for me. After all the felt flowers were arranged, I cut a few leaves from the green felt and hot-glued them to the bottoms of some of the roses, wherever I thought they looked best.

This craft took several sessions to complete, and because there weren’t a lot of instructions (other than those for making the flowers), I sort of made it up as I went. So it’s open to interpretation if you want to make your own. I’m very happy with mine! :)

2 Comments + Posted in: crafts, fall

I’ve written before about “living in the tension.” One of my current tensions is between independence and loneliness. On one hand, I honestly don’t know how a man could make me happier than I already am. I have never known this level of contentment and peace. I feel like a different person from who I was before my divorce – or, more accurately, the whole, healthy, alive version of that person. I can bloom without interference, and a whole world of possibilities is open to me. I have freedom, comfort, semi-attainable goals, lots of activities, wonderful friends and family, and many other blessings. I don’t let aloneness hold me back from doing things, and I don’t have to worry that someone else isn’t enjoying them. When I’m in this mindset and think about being in a relationship, I mostly think of being tired. Of anxiety and weariness and lots and lots of sacrifice. I don’t regret my marriage, but it exhausted me in every conceivable way. Now that I’ve felt the sun on my face, I cannot go back to that dark cave. Why would I even want to take one step toward it? “Don’t mess with the happy” has become my personal variation on “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Why should I mess with the happy? Everything is great. Why should I give it all up?

On the other hand, the great things in life are less great without someone to walk alongside and share them. All the freedom in the world doesn’t matter much when you don’t want to go on the big adventures alone. All the friends in the world can’t fill the hole of a spouse or even a boyfriend. That kind of relationship stands alone, as it’s meant to. I have no automatic companion. I have no designated person to hash big and small things out with, or to share random thoughts with (and I do a lot of thinking and hashing, which is why I run my mouth in blogs, on Twitter, in e-mails to friends, and in frequent calls to my sister, who should qualify for sainthood pretty soon). I have no one to hug me when I just plain need a hug. I also don’t have a designated person to give to, to invest in, to learn about and share with*. I believe I have a lot to give someone. Despite all that I’ve been through, I believe in love and in marriage and that it can be good.** I don’t believe I am meant to be alone, but that doesn’t guarantee I won’t be. All I can do is “wait on God,” which is a good growing experience, but sad and difficult sometimes.

Lately I’ve bounced between these extremes a lot. I know I won’t always feel this way, but I also know it’s not going to go away completely. It’s another one of those struggles that I have to learn to live in.

* = Writing this made me think of Joey writing his speech for Monica and Chandler’s wedding. It never fails to crack me up. “How about receiving?” “YES!”

** = “Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.” – Erica Jong

3 Comments + Posted in: singleness

These s’mores bars are perfect for fall! They bring a touch of campfire to non-campfire gatherings. This is another recipe I’ve had for a while and finally tried last weekend. The bars are delicious, but I cringe anytime I use this much butter. So if you make them, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, and then go for a run or something. :)

I doubled the recipe (to make a 9×13 pan) since I was going to a party and didn’t think it would be enough. However, the bars are pretty rich and I’m still eating the leftovers. So the below is the original recipe, for an 8×8 pan.

S’mores Cookie Bars
From The Crepes of Wrath, originally from Baking Bites

Ingredients:
½ cup unsalted butter, room temperature

½ cup granulated sugar
1 large egg, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

2 king-sized milk chocolate bars
1 ½ cups marshmallow fluff (not melted marshmallows because they harden when they cool)

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and/or line an 8-inch square baking pan.

2. Create graham cracker crumbs, either in a blender or food processor, or by crushing by hand.

3. In a stand mixer or large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until light. Beat in egg and vanilla.

4. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, graham cracker crumbs, baking powder and salt. Add to butter mixture and mix at a low speed until combined.

5. Divide dough in half, and press one half of dough into an even layer on the bottom of the prepared pan. Don’t worry if it seems thin; the baking powder will allow it to rise.

6. Place one layer of chocolate bars over dough (break them to fit if you need to), then spread the marshmallow fluff over the chocolate bars. Finally, top the fluff with the remaining dough by pressing the dough into sheets and laying it down on top. Don’t worry if the dough isn’t covering everything! It’ll spread out as it bakes.

7. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until lightly browned. If the top is browning too quickly, cover it with tin foil for the remaining baking time. Cool completely before cutting into bars. If you don’t, they will crumble when you try to cut them. Makes 16-20 bars.

3 Comments + Posted in: baking

I’m back! A few days to recharge without having to rush off to anywhere was just what I needed. I feel very refreshed! But I’d forgotten that when I spend a weekend by myself at home, it goes A LOT like this:

(I’m so serious. Replace dog with two cats.)

Anyway, I’m glad to rejoin society today, knowing that I’ll come home to a clean, organized, fall-decorated house.

 

Trifle dish + fake flowers from last year’s fall wreath + table runner = no-cost fall table.

 

I bought this adorable Pier 1 hook to use as a belt rack. It’s a little extravagant for the inside of a closet, but I’ll see it every day and it makes me happy. (I succesfully used a drill for this and several other tasks over the weekend. All the women independent, throw your hands up at me.)

 

When I was growing up, my mom had copper pans just like these. About a year ago I got nostalgic about them and wanted to hang them in my own kitchen, but she had sold hers at a yard sale. So she found identical molds at another yard sale and gave them to me. :) I couldn’t decide where to put them, but this weekend I just picked a spot and nailed them up. They make me happy.

I stopped in at Anthropologie on Friday. Their prices are so ridiculous that I only go there for inspiration. Since I can’t pin items in real life, I took some sneaky cameraphone pics. I love this mustard-colored top – the polka dots sealed the deal. Maybe Target will have something similar. I wouldn’t have paired it with forest green AND navy blue, but who am I to question Anthropologie styling? :) And the dish is something to keep in mind for my next trip to Seize the Clay.

Finally, I read this cover to cover. It was perfect and I can’t stop thinking about it. After some reflection, I’ve decided the trilogy is sort of a teenage, steampunk, role-reversed Princess Bride. It has adventure, history, science, politics, etc., and is more romantic than you’d think any of those things could be. That is the genius of Scott Westerfeld.

How was everyone else’s weekend?

7 Comments + Posted in: domestic, fashion, reading

I’m taking a day off from work today – for no better reason than I felt like I needed a mental health day. I have never done this before. I have a chronic case of Inadequate Vacation Time Anxiety. For some reason, I’m mentally stuck in the years when I had to hoard my vacation time like gold, and it was all spoken for as soon as I accrued it – for weddings, graduations, routine trips to visit family, and then maybe a short leisure trip. Although this month was my tenth anniversary at my job (bumping me to a new level of time off), I’m also in the life stage of adding babies, funerals, and surgeries to the time-commitments list. And both of my siblings now live in other cities. Plus, this is the freest I’ll ever be to travel, and I want to make sure I’m taking advantage of it in between all those other things.

I’ve been busier than ever recently, and when my Macbook broke down this week, I broke down too, trying to figure out what class or event I could skip in order to take it out to the Apple Store. I was at the end of my rope. Suddenly all I could think about was how great it would be to take Friday off. To be quietly at home, enjoying the beautiful fall weather, working on my fall wreath, taking care of neglected home things and stretching out in my hammock with my highly-anticipated copy of Goliath. So, after my sister and friends reassured me multiple times that it wasn’t irresponsible, I asked for the time off. And I am very happy about it. :)

Am I the only one who struggles to relax or take time off for no reason? :)

4 Comments + Posted in: life lately