Main Events
I turned 40 this month. I still haven’t wrapped my head around it. I didn’t have time to write the birthday reflection I wanted, but in summary, my 30s have been the most important years of my life. These last few were especially grounding, with the sense that I’ve finally grown into a whole oak tree from an acorn. I feel like a different person than I was on my 30th birthday, and also like the fulfillment of my core childhood self. I think she would be satisfied with where we are today, even if it took way longer than she expected. I’m hopeful for continued growth and doing some good in this next decade.
I worked a half day on my birthday (my wonderful boss spoiled me with flowers and surprise decorations), did a little shopping in the afternoon, and had dinner with Taylor and all of our parents at Ecco. On Saturday, my sister and her family came in from Nashville. Taylor’s present to me was a spa day for me AND Debra. After the pampering, we had a small birthday party at the house. I felt loved.
In other news, I finally finished moving out of my condo. I could not have done it without my dad and Taylor, who helped three weekends in a row. Nothing was ever properly packed (the curse of a non-urgent, household-combining move within the same neighborhood) and now we’re living among piles of stuff and random disorganized containers. It’s been a rough process logistically and emotionally – like ripping off a Band-Aid every time I went back over there. The transition was just too long. I’m looking forward to fully settling into our home and having a real fresh start in September!
Reading
Sweet & Wild by Viv Daniels (3 stars) – The sequel to One & Only, focusing on Tess’s half-sister. After a semester abroad, Hannah feels adrift and is still reeling from the discovery that her father has a secret second family. To escape her problems, she immerses herself in her anonymous movie review blog and starts hooking up with the bad boy next door, both of which end up meaning more to her than she planned.
The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity by Nadine Burke Harris (3.5 stars) – Read for one of my book clubs, this is by a doctor who’s led the charge in identifying adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) in patients and considering their impact on overall health and risk factors. Very relevant and interesting information.
The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez (3.5 stars) – This funny and touching romance hooked me despite my dislike for poor communication and/or pure stubbornness plots. I liked the focus on friends-as-family and the realistic portrayal of women’s health issues.
Severance by Ling Ma (4.5 stars) – Candace, a first-generation Chinese-American, agrees to a huge payout to continue working at her corporate job while the world is slowly ending via fatal zombie-like virus. The story is split between her time alone in New York, reflecting on her life and her parents’ immigrant experience, and her journey to a “safe” place with a small group of other survivors. I waited months on the library waiting list for this and finished it in one evening.
On Being 40(ish) by Lindsey Mead (editor) et al. (4 stars) – A solid collection of essays about being a woman in your 40s.
Light from Other Stars by Erika Swyler (5 stars) – My favorite fiction of 2019 so far. This novel has everything: Florida, the 80s, space travel, weird science, a child genius protagonist, and families who really love each other but are bad at expressing it. The vibe is sort of Contact meets Stranger Things. I loved it.
Listening
I’m about to pick up a few new releases, so my thoughts on those are pending. But I did download some Miley this month. Don’t judge.
Watching
My new elliptical show is Four Weddings and a Funeral. I’ve never seen the movie – I KNOW – so the plot is new to me and I’m enjoying it!
Upon the announcement of the Breaking Bad movie this fall, Taylor started a rewatch. I’ve mentioned that he lured me into the prequel Better Call Saul with its legal aspect, so I agreed to give the original a try with him. Our plan is to skip over the most violent parts and he’ll just tell me what I need to know. We’re about five episodes in.
Travel
For the second year in a row, Taylor and I went to Miami in August during the Braves’ series with the Marlins. We considered not going since we just spent so much money on the wedding, but thought it was important to see my grandparents, both of whom are in their 80s. It was a short trip. We had just enough time to visit with them, have a little beach time each day, and go to the baseball game. Last year we stayed on South Beach; this year we went to Hollywood, my hangout growing up, and liked it much better. On our last morning, I ate half of a Publix mini key lime pie in bed while looking at the view.
We were also able to sneak in lunch with Kristi, my childhood best friend!
1994 // 2019
Around Town
A few months ago, our friend James won an auction for a private symphony concert. This month the concert happened, and we were invited! A small group of musicians played for our friend group in a cool retro event space at Crosstown. Some of the selections were original compositions. It was a really special experience.
My church hosted Phileena Heuertz for a talk about contemplation as a faith practice, and faith deconstruction/reconstruction. It gave me a lot to think about.
At Home
We got a Roomba as a wedding present, and it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me! No more taking out a big vacuum every day (Rufus is messy). I still do some touch-up vacuuming, but it’s such a relief to have the constant maintenance taken care of.
For my birthday, Debra gave me a set of fruit- and vegetable-themed kitchen prints. We hung this one right away.
This year’s garden is definitely not my most prolific – I blame all the rain – but August brought a big grape tomato harvest!
Beauty
I made a point of cashing in my Sephora and Ulta birthday gifts this year. Ulta’s was a bronzer I haven’t tried yet, but Sephora had a mini Drunk Elephant Protini moisturizer and Beste No. 9 cleanser set! They’re pretty good sizes for minis, and I am LOVING the Protini as an eye cream.
In my eternal quest for great eyeliner, I got a Sephora pencil eyeliner (in Sangria). So far I find it just as good as Urban Decay 24/7 for half the price! I also splurged on the all-matte, 40-appropriate Tartelette eyeshadow palette, and the Morphe Jaclyn Hill Dark Magic palette. While I love the colors in the Dark Magic palette, they apply kind of… streaky. Has anyone else tried it? The Tartelette is totally worth it, though.
Wellness
At my annual dermatologist mole check (a practice I strongly encourage if you’re able), I asked about some white spots I’d noticed under my arms. Turns out, I have vitiligo. My dad also has it, so I’m familiar with it and how it works. Everyone is different in terms of where, how much, or how quickly the depigmentation spreads, if at all. I’m choosing not to freak out about it right now. There’s not much they can do, and it would take a lot more spots than this to upset me. But I would really prefer not to get it on my face. Fingers crossed.
Random Happiness
I saw two rainbows this month, and some cool storm clouds.
Your Monthly Rufus
Rufus continues to love life at the new house, but he does not love porch visits from other neighborhood cats. This brown tabby, whom we’re calling Hungry Jack, has come around a few times. I hope they can eventually be friends.
On the Blog
I put together a playlist of 40 Songs for 40 Years!
Good Reads
♥ Taylor Schumann: On Changing Your Mind
♥ Kat Coffin: Turkish Coffee
♥ Lindsay Ferrier: I Went to One of Nashville’s Hottest Restaurants and This Happened.
♥ Kashy Keegan at Narratively: How My Song Became an Unlikely Protest Anthem—in Hong Kong
♥ Monica Hesse at the WaPo: Andrew Luck surrendered to his pain. It was a daring thing for a man to admit — but it shouldn’t be. (I personally thought it was a smart and brave decision)
♥ Perfect Number: Renee Bach, who had no medical training, opened a clinic in Africa. Just like missionaries are supposed to.
♥ Rhonda Garelick at The Cut: Dancing with Reality
♥ Kristen Baldwin at EW: Sweet Valley High creator Francine Pascal tells all, 35 years later (The woman is 81 and still kicking. RESPECT!)
Add a Comment + Posted in: birthday, milestone, what i'm into
In anticipation of my 40th birthday next week (!!!), I made a playlist of songs that have defined my life. Then I decided to write a little about each of them, because that’s what I do. This is by no means an exhaustive list. I noticed after the fact that Don’t Stop Believing isn’t on here, but Don’t Stop Believing exists around me like the air and therefore does not require acknowledgment.
1. I Just Called to Say I Love You – Stevie Wonder
My first favorite song that I can remember.
2. Greatest Love of All – Whitney Houston
At the end of first grade, my school had a banquet for kids who got straight A’s during the year. They gave each kid a candle and had us sing along to this song. My parents filmed it (we had just gotten our first camcorder), and for years, my mom cried every time she watched the video or heard the song. As a kid, this was very embarrassing, but now I get it.
3. Only In My Dreams – Debbie Gibson
The first album I ever bought with my own money was Out of the Blue, at Woolworth’s. I wore it and Electric Youth out well into my teens.
4. Eternal Flame – The Bangles
I associate this song with my last year in Miami (when it was popular), and with my all-time favorite teacher – she loved it.
5. Kokomo – The Beach Boys
The Cocktail soundtrack was one of the few tapes my family owned, so it got a lot of airtime.
6. Poison – Bell Biv DeVoe
This classic is an appropriate mark of my move from Miami to Memphis. My neighbor Milissa and I once spent an entire afternoon replaying it in the driveway trying to write down all the lyrics, which were extremely inappropriate for kids in fifth and sixth grade (not that we understood them). Ah, the small joys denied to kids of today.
7. Love… Thy Will Be Done – Martika
As aforementioned, my parents weren’t big on buying music, so most of my collection was recorded off the radio. This was at the end of Side A of one of my first radio mixtapes.
8. I’ll Be There – Mariah Carey feat. Trey Lorenz
This recording never, ever gets old for me. It was my last suggestion for Taylor’s and my first dance at the wedding, before we decided to just go with Elvis.
9. The Sign – Ace of Base
Like many girls of the time, I was very into Ace of Base in the early 90s.
10. River Deep, Mountain High – Celine Dion
Debra and I have always unironically loved Celine. We used to dance around to this one a lot, and it’s been Debra’s ringtone on my phone for a while.
11. This Is How We Do It – Montell Jordan
One of the songs that defines my high school memories. Frequently played at Friday night football games.
12. All I Really Want – Alanis Morissette
While I do remember where I was the first time I heard “You Oughta Know” (in the car with my best friend Amy on the way home from getting shaved ice), this was and is my favorite track from Jagged Little Pill.
13. No Scrubs – TLC
To this day, Debra and I prefer the version with the Left Eye rap interlude.
14. Trinity – Jennifer Knapp
In my freshman year of college, Jennifer Knapp was the first contemporary Christian artist to break down the “positive, encouraging” wall and express my own heart. I remember my mom shaking her head at how “depressing” her music was, but she couldn’t complain since it was still Christian music.
15. Fair – Ben Folds Five
My college roommates Kathy and Emily and I had a small rotation of CDs, including Whatever and Ever Amen (which, now that I think about it, might have actually belonged to our friend Sean). I feel like this is the track we listened to the most.
16. Shifting Sand – Caedmon’s Call
Everyone I knew was so crazy for Caedmon’s Call that I refused to like them… until 40 Acres came out.
17. Summertime – The Sundays
I got Static & Silence in a Columbia House 1-cent signup (it doesn’t get more late-90s than that) and it remains one of my favorite albums of all time.
18. Ants Marching – Dave Matthews Band
My senior year of college was Peak DMB. On our college graduation night, some friends and I went to see them at Beale Street Music Fest, and the only comparable BSMF crowd I’ve ever seen was for Ed Sheeran a few years ago.
19. Everywhere – Michelle Branch
The Spirit Room was my perpetual soundtrack for about four years.
20. Weakened State – Sarah Harmer
In my early 20s I made an online friend, Jenn, who introduced me to a lot of artists I now love, including Canadian folkie Sarah Harmer (will she ever make another album?!). Her lyrics are poetry, but this is probably her rockingest song.
21. Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson
If we’d had Tinder in the mid-aughts, the bridge of this song might have been my profile. I saw Kelly at Mud Island in 2006 (?) (where I set a new record for most mosquito bites), and for some reason, I still remember the light cues for this one.
22. All These Things That I’ve Done – The Killers
My friend Myla put this on a mix CD for me and it’s still one of my favorite songs. It was also extremely well used in the pilot of the underrated CBS show Jericho.
23. In the Rough – Anna Nalick
Wreck of the Day is still a masterpiece, and this track proved to be the most personally relevant to me over time.
24. Here to Stay – Christina Aguilera
The song I would probably choose if I ever need intro music for something. I don’t relate to it so much as continue to aspire to it.
25. Bottle It Up – Sara Bareilles
Sara fully sank her hooks into me with this song, which is kind of a mission statement for me. She’s incredible.
26. That’s What You Get – Paramore
It was around this time that Paramore officially became my favorite band. I had trouble picking one song for this list, because almost all of their songs tie to something personally specific. So I went with the catchiest, which I used to sing to my cats a lot.
27. Great Divide – Hanson
Despite my half-lifetime of Hanson fandom, I lost track of them for a little while after This Time Around. I think my friend Bethany alerted me to their The Walk album and tour, and as soon as I heard this opening guitar lick, I was all in on Grown-Up Hanson.
28. I Gotta Feeling – The Black Eyed Peas
The song that defined the summer of 2009. Debra came to stay with me for a week or two, and it was seriously one of the happiest times of my life. We painted a shed in my backyard and listened to this a hundred times.
29. So What – Pink
In contrast, the summer of 2010 was my Summer of Divorce, and this song was a lighthearted lifeline for me. “I guess I just lost my husband, I don’t know where he went.”
30. Rolling in the Deep – Adele
Another song that hooked me forever from the first chord and breaking dish. It inspired me to make a T-shirt, which I’ve worn to many races and events where I needed to psych myself up.
31. Drive All Night – NEEDTOBREATHE
If you’ve never heard of them, start here.
32. One – U2 and Mary J. Blige
The original version of One has always been important to me, but I’ve come to love this remake even more. I became aware of it right around the time I started to struggle hard with evangelical church culture, and Mary was preaching right to and on behalf of me.
33. I’m Not Your Hero – Tegan & Sara
And this was my song of walking away from boxes I’d spent my whole life trying to fit into. It resonates more with me all the time.
34. Diamonds – Johnnyswim
The one and only time I used Apple Music, it shuffled to this song by this weirdly named band I’d never heard of. It’s now my ultimate Gryffindor anthem and I’ve been to two Johnnyswim concerts so far.
35. Elastic Heart – Sia
2015 was a roller-coaster year of change for me, and this song helped as I wondered if I had hit my limits.
36. Jackrabbit – San Fermin
A lovely, invigorating existential crisis tune. I’ve had some great running experiences with this song – how can you not when the chorus literally says to run for the hills.
37. Non-Stop – from the Hamilton soundtrack
The best End of Act I ever written, containing several useful lines for everyday life (my last year at my old job was basically me thinking “HAMILTON WROTE THE OTHER 51”). It’s also very fun to try to sing all the parts at the end.
38. How Far I’ll Go – Auli’i Cravalho, from Moana
The perfect Disney princess anthem for an ocean-loving late bloomer.
39. Glorious – Macklemore feat. Skylar Grey
In December 2017, three big things happened in under 24 hours: I left my job of 16 years, told Taylor I loved him for the first time, and ran my second St. Jude half-marathon. I had been listening to this song a lot while training, and I never felt its promise more than that day. It still makes me tear up a little.
40. High Hopes – Panic! at the Disco
It’s too soon to know whether anything I’m listening to right now will have lasting impact in my life, but I’m pretty confident I’ll love this song for years to come, so it seemed like a good and uplifting conclusion!
THE END
2 Comments + Posted in: birthday, memory lane, music
I have now been married for one month and have completed the last full month of my 30s. Whew!
Reading
One & Only by Viv Daniels (4 stars) – I wanted something romancey to read on my honeymoon, and this exceeded expectations (unsurprising since Viv Daniels is really Diana Peterfreund). Scientist heroine Tess is tired of living a life of lies as the secret daughter of a prominent businessman. When she transfers to an elite college in her hometown, she discovers her half-sister is dating the guy she had a passionate fling with years ago. Then everything starts to hit the fan. I liked this enough that I immediately purchased the sequel.
Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass (5 stars) – I can’t believe I never read this in school, but it should be required reading for all Americans. It’s compelling, heartbreaking, inspiring, and way way too relevant for a memoir written in 1845.
The Most Beautiful Thing I’ve Seen: Opening Your Eyes to Wonder by Lisa Gungor (4.5 stars) – A wonderful, personal memoir from singer-songwriter Lisa Gungor. I appreciated her honesty and related to a lot.
Rules for Visiting by Jessica Francis Kane (4 stars) – A semi-reclusive gardener, May, uses a month’s leave from work to attempt to rekindle some old friendships. This was a sad but charming story, and I loved all the plant talk (and illustrations).
The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren (3.5 stars) – A hate-to-love romance about a woman who ends up going on her twin sister’s honeymoon with the best man. The Torres family as a whole are the best thing about the book.
Marilla of Green Gables by Sarah McCoy (3.5 stars) – This take on Marilla Cuthbert’s youth started a little slow and sad for me, but took satisfying turns I wasn’t expecting. Worth reading for L.M. Montgomery fans.
Only Human by Sylvain Neuvel (3.5 stars) – I did not love this final book of the Themis Files as much as the others, but it was an interesting conclusion.
Windfall by Jennifer E. Smith (3 stars) – The friendship among three high school seniors is tested when Alice buys Teddy a lottery ticket for his eighteenth birthday – and he wins.
The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships by Suzanne Stabile (3 stars) – This was fine, but didn’t hold my interest as well as other Enneagram books I’ve read.
Listening
I forgot to mention in June’s post that one of Johnnyswim’s new tracks brought me back to myself recently. I’m still listening to it a lot.
The Cut on Tuesdays podcast had some good episodes this month. Most motivating: July 16, How to Stay Sane While Saving the Country with Brittany Packnett. Most jaw-dropping: July 2, Make a Wish. My best new subscription is Redesigning Life with Sabrina Soto, which I heard about on the Young House Love podcast.
Watching
I finished Dead to Me (great ending – Season 2 will be nuts!!) and am still working on the Veronica Mars revival. I’m trying to finish up before someone fully spoils me, but would rather savor these long-awaited episodes over a period of time.
Taylor and I went to see Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I think I appreciate it more upon reflection, but overall, Tarantino just isn’t my thing.
Travel
We went to Sandals in St. Lucia for our honeymoon! It was the closest to the equator I’ve ever been.
Our goal was total R&R, but I did go on the morning snorkel boat twice, and was thrilled to see multiple fish I’d never seen before. I also paddle boarded right off the beach one afternoon.
We watched the women’s World Cup match against England in the British pub with a few other Americans.
And of course, we befriended a stray cat living at the resort.
Around Town
We saw Hamilton at the Orpheum! Since I’ve seen it in New York and Chicago, and we’ve, you know, spent a lot of money recently, I was going to pass. But Taylor decided we’d regret it if we didn’t go. It was our first big date night as a married couple – we had a nice dinner at Spindini beforehand.
I made it to the Shell twice before the summer season ended, to see John Paul White (half of The Civil Wars) and Devon Gilfillian (whom I had never heard of before but liked A LOT).
At Home
I made a decision to fully occupy my home during my single years, not “leaving space” for a theoretical other person. While I stand by that decision, combining the households of long-single 30somethings into a small 2/1 house with only two closets is not a fun time. It’s not getting stuff out of my condo that paralyzes me – it’s wondering where it can go, when our living space is already at capacity. And that’s with selling a whole lot of things and planning to rent a storage unit. Taylor is great at these problems, so after weeks of going over to my place and getting too anxious to accomplish anything, I have handed him the reins. In the next month before my tenants move in, I have to get completely out, have the carpets cleaned and a general cleaning done, and make some cosmetic repairs that I never figured out how to do while I lived there. Hey, there’s the anxiety again. Deep breaths.
Aside from all that stress, life at the new house is happy and harmonious. I love living with Taylor and he cooks me breakfast every day (something I always wanted, as I love real breakfast but have never had the discipline to make time for it during the week). We walk around the yard in the evenings to see how the plants are doing. I repotted the lemon tree from our wedding and set it up on the back patio – a lemon is already growing! I also repotted my fiddle leaf fig in a white pot and am loving the effect.
Food
After getting the new Smitten Kitchen cookbook for our wedding, I read it cover to cover and now want to make all the things. I tried the farro with tomatoes this week, and have some wild rice ready to attempt the broccoli and rice fritters.
When I bought the wedding wine at Trader Joe’s (highly recommended), I also picked up some “Honeymoon” Chardonnay for us to drink when we came home from St. Lucia. It was delicious.
Beauty
This month I renewed my vows with two of my makeup go-tos: NYX HD Eyeshadow Base and Maybelline The Falsies Push-Up Angel mascara. I couldn’t find the NYX at several stores and was afraid it was discontinued, but thankfully, CVS still has it. All it took for me to fall back in love with The Falsies was to open a fresh tube. I’ve tried a lot of mascaras and for me, nothing else comes close.
I got a gel manicure for the wedding. Rather than give in to an endless cycle of gel manicures as I was then tempted to do, I bought a bottle of Sally Hansen Miracle Gel topcoat. It made some low quality polish last 8 days, so I think it’s legit.
For the wedding, my makeup artist used Stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick in Patina. I loved it so much that I decided to splurge on my own. Unsurprisingly, it does not stay all day (or even a few hours) on me. But I still enjoy and feel special wearing it.
Wellness
Taylor and I joined a new-ish gym near our house. I was content enough at Planet Fitness, but I still can’t believe I get to exercise somewhere this nice. They have lots of free classes, too, though most of them are during the day. They also have a pool!
Random Happiness
I’m excited to get involved in my new neighborhood, so we joined the neighborhood association and went to the monthly happy hour. I won a vintage neighborhood pride T-shirt in a raffle!
At work, after resisting it for years, I got a second monitor. I think everyone is correct that I can never go back.
Your Monthly Rufus
I was worried about how the move would affect Rufus, but he is LOVING life at the new house. Taylor works partially from home, so Rufus is alone less and enjoys chiming in on Taylor’s business calls. He also had some quality time with my dad when my parents were over to watch the World Cup final.
I get a lot of texts from the next room when Rufus is watching Braves games with Taylor.
On the Blog
Here’s the story of our wedding day!
Good Reads
♥ CJ Hauser at The Paris Review: The Crane Wife (I saw this linked everywhere on Twitter before I read it, and it deserves the hype)
♥ Michael Schulman in the New Yorker: The Revealing Reasons That People Visit the “Friends” Building
♥ Caroline Rothstein at Narratively: The Man with the Golden Airline Ticket
♥ As a big basketball fan, I’ve thought about this a lot: Baxter Holmes at ESPN: ‘These kids are ticking time bombs’: The threat of youth basketball
♥ Captain Awkward: “So, about your private reproductive decisions…” and other “small” talk.
♥ Mary at Seersucker Optional: A Serious Note About 7.14.19
♥ Laura Lippman at Longreads: Whole 60
♥ Luke Winkie at Vox: How stock photographers take a perfectly anonymous picture
Add a Comment + Posted in: what i'm into
I know it’s taken me almost a month to post about my wedding, but as you might imagine, life has been pretty hectic! I was also waiting to get all my pictures back from my amazing photographer, Cassie Cardwell, and her assistant Mariah. All photos in this post are copyright The Warmth Around You and have not been cropped or altered in any way, other than resizing them for better display on this blog. I wish I could share them all – I’ve seriously marked 200 favorites so far. I also wish I could shoutout everyone who came to the wedding, but I had to keep this post simple or it would never be finished. You are all loved and appreciated!
Getting Ready
I borrowed my veil from my sister-in-law, Stefanie (shown here adjusting it). Up to the week of the wedding, I wasn’t really planning to wear a veil, mainly because I didn’t want to cover up the back of my dress. Then I tried this one on and loved it. It added drama and extra family significance.
Family & Bridal Party
With my parents. I had a special first look with my dad that I’ll always remember.
Constant companion of my 30s Ashley, SIL Stefanie, sister and matron of honor Debra, college BFF/Tiger soulmate for life Kathy, and we-met-on-the-internet BFF Alanna.
We managed to involve almost the whole family in the bridal party, including my brother. Taylor and I also each chose an usher, and I asked my good friend Wes. I referred to him as my “bridesman” throughout the wedding preparations.
This picture is so Abbey Road and I love it.
Attention Coke Zero, we’re available for your next ad campaign.
A perk of getting married at the historic Woodruff-Fontaine House is a bridal photo session in the mansion on the wedding day.
These windows overlooked the front lawn. We were watching guests start to arrive. A few saw us and waved.
The Ceremony
I wasn’t particular about a lot of details, but the growl towels were very important to me. I decided years ago that if I ever got married again, I wanted wedding growl towels laid out on the chairs exactly as they are before Grizzlies playoff games. Marrying into a Grizzlies family (Taylor and his brother founded the drumline, and my MIL was a Grizz Granny) made it a no-brainer. When I saw the guys laying the towels, I sent someone out to have them turned horizontally, but the backs of the chairs weren’t wide enough. I think they still looked good vertical, though… and they became unexpectedly useful.
Our wedding was scheduled for 6:00 on the front lawn. A sudden afternoon shower blew up, and it started to rain right on the dot of 6. Out the window, I watched all our guests run for the shelter of the carriage house while my BIL Lance, who was officiating, went over our options. If I’d known the rain would blow over quickly, I would have been fine, but the radar was inconclusive. Lance said we could have a shortened ceremony in the carriage house. Everyone would be standing and the string quartet probably wouldn’t fit. What pushed me over the edge about this scenario was that earlier, the carriage house was stinky because my mom had heated up some broccoli in the kitchen (don’t ask). I cried and said I refused to get married in a place that smelled bad. LOL. Thankfully, it stopped raining in a few minutes, and someone decided we were a go. The whole thing gave the ceremony an urgency and focus that wasn’t part of the plan, but we’re fortunate that this was the worst thing that went wrong. The guests seemed to take the rain in stride. After all, they had towels.
Since we were processing down the driveway and then up the sidewalk, my dad and I decided to “hide” so no one could see us. ;)
All the nieces were flower girls. I walked down the aisle to Don’t Stop Believing played by the string quartet, which was a dream come true.
I’d always wanted a Meyer lemon tree in a pot. In lieu of the traditional unity ceremonies, I decided to get a tree, and at the wedding, we each added soil brought from our parents’ homes. I’ve settled the tree in a nice new pot on the patio, and the first lemon is already growing!
Lance did a great job marrying us. He wrote us wonderful vows that felt fresh and personal but were still grounded in tradition. His wedding homily referenced the story of Noah, and God’s love of redemption.
We had two readings that I chose. Taylor’s friend and groomsman Bobby read from I John 4 (“perfect love casts out fear”), and my friend Vada read the ee cummings poem “i carry your heart with me (i carry it in).”
The Reception
Our reception was in the cellar of the house. We had our first dance as soon as we entered, to the traditional Elvis version of “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” I’d gone through at least ten first dance songs (none of which Taylor liked) and could not make a decision, so when he suggested this as a timeless and Memphisy choice, I went with it. My dance with my dad was to James Taylor’s “How Sweet It Is” – I am all about upbeat father-daughter dances.
However, before I could dance with my dad, the Tiger fight song started playing and the University of Memphis mascot, Pouncer, burst through a side door. I’m not exaggerating when I say this was one of the most purely joyful moments of my life.
My boss, MiMi, got Pouncer for us. She and I had been talking about the wedding every day, and at some point I’d randomly said I would love to have Pouncer make an appearance. Through a connection, she actually tried to get Coach Penny Hardaway (we’d sent him a wedding invitation), and when that didn’t work out she moved on to Pouncer. Only four or five people knew he was coming. I still can’t believe she did that. Boss of the decade!!
We all did the Cupid Shuffle with Pouncer and then he took photos with everyone. I think the non-Memphians enjoyed it too.
My friend Justin agreed to be our wedding DJ. We’ve known each other since fifth grade, and he’s now the house DJ for the Grizzlies (sensing a theme?).
I had to get a photobooth pic with my SIPsters (though a couple of them had left by this point due to kids).
Emily was Kathy’s and my third roommate/BFF in college. We cried when we saw each other!
Kathy and Emily both married younger men named Daniel (they all celebrated their 15th anniversaries this summer). Not long after I met Taylor, who’s younger than me, I found out that Taylor is his middle name. His first name is Daniel. The circle of Daniels is now complete.
We got a variety of Gibson’s Donuts for the crowd, and I ordered a small cake from my friend Chasity. I only got a couple of bites, but it was delicious. I plan to order another one for our first anniversary! Also: we used the cake knife Taylor’s parents used at their wedding.
Despite my attempt to aim it at my single friends, one of our nieces caught my bouquet. Taylor’s friend Robert caught the garter. Side note: the guys teased him about this hat and yelled “Pharrell” at him. Justin, apparently thinking they were making a request, started playing Pharrell. LOL.
I loved our growl towel exit. Cassie set everyone up in an arc instead of two lines, and the results were really great. Lance brought Taylor’s car around for the exit. We went around back, dropped Lance off, and drove home to Midtown to eat donuts at our dining table in our wedding clothes. And that was the start of our happy life together. I don’t think I would change a thing.
Credits
Venue: Woodruff-Fontaine House
Flowers: Kacie Cooper Floral Design
Bridal Gown: Allure Bridals 2455 , purchased at The Barefoot Bride
Bridal Shoes: Nina, found on Poshmark (similar)
Bridesmaid Dresses: David’s Bridal, color Horizon
Makeup: Emily Epperson
Invitations and Programs: Template from WeDoHoney
Photographers: The Warmth Around You
Coordinator: The spectacular Caroline Norris
String Quartet: Noel Medford quartet from U of M
DJ: Justin Baker
Growl Towels: designed by me, printed by Towels Outlet
Catering: Central BBQ
Desserts: Chasity’s Little Hobby and Gibson’s Donuts
Bartending: Memphis Bar Ties
4 Comments + Posted in: celebrate, love, memphis, milestone
June’s What I’m Into is a little early because I’M GETTING MARRIED THIS WEEKEND!
Wedding Update
Taylor had his bachelor party the first weekend of the month, and I had my bachelorette party last Saturday. My bridesmaids ordered me a sweatband veil with our hashtag on it, which I loved both as a subtle ZBo shoutout and for its utility later – we did a Sprock n’ Roll party bike downtown! I’d never been on one of the bikes, and had always thought they were self-propelled and the pedaling was mostly for show. NOPE. The first leg of the trip was like a spin class and we were all regretting our decision. Thankfully, it got a lot more fun after that! We had a fantastic sushi dinner and also got ice cream. I felt loved.
Alanna hosted a lingerie shower for me, which was also really fun. No pics of the lingerie, sorry. ;)
My sister and sister-in-law have been here all week to help me, and everyone else will get here today or tomorrow. I’m trying to soak up this time as much as possible (and remember that I’m not responsible for anyone else’s feelings and opinions). My sense of being torn in ten directions should get slightly better now that I’m off work. No matter what, I’m about to marry a wonderful man who loves me, and that’s worth everything. ♥ I’ll share all about the wedding in a few weeks!
Reading
Once and for All by Sarah Dessen (4.5 stars) – I’m behind on my Sarah Dessen releases, but this is definitely one of her best. Most of her novels are set in the fictional town of Lakeview and/or the beach town of Colby. This one incorporates both, and rings true. It’s about the daughter of the town’s premier wedding planner, who’s still healing from a tragic loss.
The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory (4 stars) – A smart, enjoyable romance: a doctor and a lawyer meet cute in an elevator, he asks her to be his last-minute date to his ex’s wedding, and a relationship unfolds.
Valencia and Valentine by Suzy Krause (3 stars) – The parallel stories of a lonely debt collector with severe OCD, and an elderly woman telling her life story to a young relative. I can’t say much more, except that it kept me hooked with an increasing sense of uneasiness.
Anne’s House of Dreams and Rilla of Ingleside by L.M. Montgomery (5 stars) (reread) – I’ve needed some comfort reading, and these are my two favorite Anne books. They’re fresh and new every time, especially Rilla, which is criminally underrated. PS, what do we have to do to get better cover art for LMM’s entire oeuvre?
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski (4.5 stars) – A must-read scientific explanation of the distinct type of burnout and stress modern women experience, everything that causes it, and what we can do about it. Having struggled with varying degrees of burnout for much of my adult life, I felt so validated by the tips provided, many of which I’m already doing.
I Miss You When I Blink: Essays by Mary Laura Philpott (5 stars) – Loved it. Also, MLP has to be an Enneagram One.
How to Be Married: What I Learned from Real Women on Five Continents about Building a Happy Marriage by Jo Piazza (5 stars) – This book is The Geography of Bliss, but about marriage and in a similar voice to Jancee Dunn’s, making it a home run for me.
Fame Adjacent by Sarah Skilton (4 stars) (not pictured) – Holly is the only former cast member of a Mickey Mouse Club-esque show who didn’t become famous, and she just found out she wasn’t invited to the reunion. When she busts out of internet rehab to confront all her former friends, the trip there holds a lot of surprises. This book was very enjoyable, and deeper than I expected given the tabloidy premise.
Listening
Two must-listen podcasts this month: The Popcast episode 300, The No’s of Weddings (for when you need a laugh), and NPR’s Throughline episode 17, Apocalypse Now (for when you need an eye-opener).
I excitedly dove in to the EnneaSummer series on That Sounds Fun. The format is great – she starts with a quick chat with an Enneagram expert, then talks to two of her friends who represent each showcased type. However, all the episodes I’ve listened to so far feature a classic Southern pastor with a Super Hot Wife, so my enthusiasm has waned. I even quit my own Six episode early because the guy was Jesus-juking Sixness beyond my endurance. YMMV.
Watching
For Father’s Day, we took my dad to see the new Apollo 11 documentary at the IMAX. It included never-before-seen footage on high-res film. I couldn’t believe the quality. You can probably catch it on CNN several times in July.
I’m almost halfway through Dead to Me, and every time I think I know what’s going on, it throws me another curveball. Nicely done!
Around Town
My favorite local band, Ingram Hill, performed at Italian Fest on June 1. I hadn’t seen them in about five years and was extremely psyched. Last week, my mom and I saw Weird Al at the Orpheum with an orchestra! After loving Hanson’s String Theory show so much, I couldn’t pass up the chance to see Weird Al do the same thing. It was basically the same show he did at Snowden Grove a few years ago, but with an orchestra. The people watching was fantastic.
A Johnny Cash statue was dedicated in our neighborhood this month! It’s in front of a church where he performed publicly for the first time.
At Home
We started moving some of my furniture to Taylor’s house. As I’ve mentioned, I have some ongoing sadness and anxiety about moving out of my home, but I felt MUCH better once my china cabinet, desk, bookshelves, and favorite books were installed in the new house. Taylor is really going above and beyond to clear space for me and help me feel at home. ♥ I’m hopeful it’ll be all up from here emotionally.
We planted some dahlia bulbs in April, and they started blooming this month. If you need a showstopper flower, get a dahlia!
Eating
One of Midtown’s definitive eateries, Fino’s, reopened this month under new management of the most prominent chef in Memphis. Taylor and I hit it up on one of my free diet days and there was much rejoicing. Their tiramisu might be the best I’ve had.
We took my dad to Midtown Crossing Grill, a hole in the wall near Crosstown. I noticed it about a year ago and we just now took the time to go. Everything was fantastic. Next time, I’m getting the balsamic chicken pizza.
Beauty
I asked for a neutral lip for my engagement pictures, because no bright lipstick has ever lasted longer than half an hour on me. Then I thought I’d like a little more color for the wedding. After a lot of research, I ordered Kiko Unlimited Double Touch liquid lipstick in two colors. I watched multiple YouTubers eat apples and drink hot beverages in this product and it stayed flawless. Me? Prepped my lips, applied as directed, tried not to do anything… and still got a ring around my lips in no time. So I’m accepting that, like a stick-on bra, a long wear bold lip is an impossibility for me. But! Last week, my favorite fashion blogger mentioned L’Oreal Colour Riche Matte-Traction Red, noting that it fades evenly without leaving any weird outline. I went directly to CVS and bought it. It goes on smoothly and fades beautifully, so I’ll probably pick up a few more colors in this line. It’s exciting to wear red without worrying about upkeep!
I splurged on some luxury (to me) travel toiletries for my honeymoon, because if you can’t be fancy then, when can you? I got a Ouidad Climate Control travel set (the last time I did this was 2007), as well as some new Paula’s Choice serum and cream samples for our 4-hour flight. (I just can’t do a sheet mask on a plane.) Also, Ulta has I Heart Revolution eyeshadow mini palettes now, so I snapped up the Mint Chocolate one I’ve wanted for a while. Perfect for a trip.
Your Monthly Rufus
Rufus loves his summer mornings on the balcony. I hope he can find a place at Taylor’s house that makes him this happy! I’d love to let him hang out on the front porch with us, but every time we’ve tried, he’s quickly ventured out onto the lawn instead. We’ll see.
Quote of the Month
On the Blog
I wrote about my favorite weekly magazine of many years dropping to a monthly and canceling their radio channel. Yes, it’ll still exist, but I’m not confident it will be the same at all.
Good Reads
♥ William Langewiesche at The Atlantic: What Really Happened to Malaysia’s Missing Airplane
♥ Sarah Bessey: Penny in the Air: My Story of Becoming Affirming
♥ Lyndsey Medford: A Practice That Changed My Life
♥ Emma Pattee at Mrs. Frugalwoods: My Friend Always Wanted To Be a Mom. Then She Got Prenatal Depression
♥ Captain Awkward: IT’S MOTHEREFFING WEDDING SEASON AGAIN, SO LET’S CHAT
♥ A profile of a former Jehovah’s Witness by Jacqueline Alnes at Longreads: ‘If Any of My Old Friends Are Reading This, It Is Okay Out Here.’ (I added her book to my TBR immediately.)
♥ Jeanna Kadlec at Catapult: I Let Go of My Faith When I Came Out—But I Still Believe in Jennifer Knapp
♥ Rebecca Jennings at Vox: Many people still believe the moon landing was fake. But who’s profiting?
1 Comment + Posted in: what i'm into