Taylor and I met online, but not on a dating app. We connected on Twitter a few years ago (I don’t know exactly when) through Memphis Grizzlies and Tigers Twitter, which is a fairly small community. He lived in Atlanta at the time. We had little exchanges now and then, and I kind of noticed him, but he lived in Atlanta, so I never thought anything about it. In January 2017, he moved back to Memphis. That spring, I went to Jacksonville to visit my friend/frequent travel partner Bethany, who has gamely taken pictures of me holding up growl towels all over the world. When I posted a picture of me on the beach with a growl towel, Taylor responded with a gif of someone waving enthusiastically. A few weeks later, he messaged me, which quickly progressed to texting. He still teases me about how fast I suggested a meeting the first weekend we were talking (I think I invited him to Loflin Yard with my friends). But by that point I’d had several online flirtations that never translated to the real world, and I wasn’t interested in another one.
We met in person at Slider Inn on April 25, 2017 (the perfect date!). I grabbed the last open table on the patio right as he walked up. We had a lot to talk about right away. Among many other things, both of us are band geeks. He mentioned his brother had marched Cavaliers during their championship run in the early 2000s. I told him I still had a VHS tape of those performances that I had taped live off of PBS. A week or so later, we had our first date downtown: dinner at Café Pontotoc, drinks at the Absinthe Room on Beale Street. On May 15, we agreed we both wanted to date exclusively. He invited me to his Memorial Day family vacation, and saying yes to that was one of the craziest good decisions I’ve made. After a weekend of long talks by the lake and witnessing the way he took care of his family and handled challenging situations, I was smitten. Things have only gotten better from there.
We’ve already been through some big life changes together – adjusting to new jobs in new fields, him buying and remodeling his first home. By the time he moved into his house last July, we were talking about the future in longer terms. I was starting to field questions about our status, but I wasn’t in a hurry and didn’t want Taylor to feel any pressure either. However, when the subject came up, I did tell him I wasn’t comfortable moving in together without more of a commitment. He said okay. Throughout the fall, we had a lot of important conversations, but we didn’t talk directly about that again.
I did not expect to be proposed to on Christmas Day. While I felt like it was possible because Taylor loves the holidays, I thought it was more likely to happen on New Year’s Eve, or on a planned NYC trip in February. I spent Christmas morning with my parents, then went to Taylor’s parents’. When a suspiciously sized gift from him turned out to be a Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker I’d been reminiscing about, I thought This is officially not happening today, and put the possibility out of my mind. Later, we each went home to get ready for a fancy Christmas dinner with my parents – we had a 5:00 reservation at Ruth Chris. Taylor asked me to come over around 4.
When I arrived, he suggested we sit on the porch (our favorite place) for a few minutes, since it wasn’t very cold. I was wearing a black dress and sparkly heels, and he was wearing a blue suit. After a few minutes of chitchat, he commented that we should start figuring out a timeline for me to move in. I thought, Oh jeez, am I going to have this conversation again? On Christmas? I didn’t say anything. He continued, “But we need more of a commitment for that, right?” I said yes, kissed him, and thought the topic was closed. Instead, he said, “Well, will you marry me?” In shock, I nodded and cried silently for several minutes, had to be reminded that there was also a ring to look at, accepted said ring, and finally gave him a verbal yes. It was a different kind of moment than I had imagined, but it was perfect for us.
We basked in our happiness for a few minutes, then needed to leave for dinner. On the way, I quickly decided I did not want to tell my parents this life-changing news in a hectic restaurant atrium with lots of people buzzing around. So I texted my dad and asked him to meet us outside. When we arrived, we walked up to them, I held up my hand, and my mom and I began the first of several hugging-and-crying sessions. Because Taylor had talked to him, my dad knew it was coming, but not exactly when, so he got to be surprised too. I’m really thankful we got to have that special celebratory dinner alone with my parents before anyone else knew.
After dinner, we drove around for a couple of hours looking at Christmas lights, and burning up our phones telling loved ones our news. We had advance tickets to a late movie out in Collierville (long story) and had thought earlier that day about not going, but then we were so amped up we figured we might as well. A couple of friends missed my initial call and had to call me back, which is how I ended up telling my college BFF Kathy about my engagement in the bathroom at the Malco. LOL.
My siblings and nieces arrived in town on Thursday for post-Christmas festivities, and everyone was happy and excited! My sister and SIL decided we MUST go wedding dress shopping immediately while we were all together. I hadn’t even fully processed the news yet and felt embarrassed to look at dresses so soon, but agreed to go, figuring we would just have a fun time. Which is how I ended up with a wedding dress I love about 72 hours after I got engaged. I think I recommend this getting of a dress before you even have time to stress about it. Two weeks later, thanks to a lot of teamwork (both with Taylor, and with my family), we’ve already booked a date, a venue, and a photographer!
When I was younger, I thought true love (and marriage) were supposed to be really intense and dramatic and difficult. I might not have fully appreciated Taylor and the ease of our relationship if I’d met him sooner. From day one, this has been the best, healthiest, first true partnership I have ever been in. Not perfect, because that doesn’t exist. But I’ve always felt safe and stable with him, something I used to doubt was possible. He loves and accepts me, believes in me, is patient with me, sees me as an equal, and has never let me down or made me feel like anything about me isn’t good enough. He is sensitive of my fears and emotional scars. He’s a problem solver. He takes care of me and makes me laugh. He encourages me to dream big. We’re a good fit, and he’s a good man, and I feel so lucky that he wants to build a life with me.
10 Comments + Posted in: announcement, celebrate, love, milestone
I didn’t get time to compile my 2018 book count and top selections before year-end, but here it is now!
2018 Fiction Top 10:
1. The Power – Naomi Alderman Of the few dystopias I read in 2018, this is the one I’m still thinking about. In it, women all over the world suddenly gain the power of electrical shock, making them basically impervious to physical harm. Womankind rises up and deals out reparations and it’s all very empowering… until things start to spin a leeeetle out of control.
2. Far from the Tree – Robin Benway Three biological siblings in their late teens – two adopted by different families, one still in foster care – find each other. A realistic but heartwarming story about the many shapes of family.
3. The Address – Fiona Davis A historical novel that flashes back and forth between two women, one in 1884 and one in 1985, at The Dakota apartments in NYC.
4. Leia: Princess of Alderaan – Claudia Gray Honestly, I did NOT expect to be blown away by a YA Star Wars novel, but this look at Teen Leia was excellent as well as relevant to our current political moment.
5. Always and Forever, Lara Jean – Jenny Han The satisfying conclusion to the Lara Jean trilogy. (If you have Netflix and haven’t seen To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, get comfy and watch it this weekend. Best new romcom in years.)
6. Not If I See You First – Eric Lindstrom A strong, independent blind girl grieves the loss of her dad and starts taking risks and healing old wounds.
7. Sofia Khan Is Not Obliged – Ayisha Malik This book’s billing as the “Muslim Bridget Jones” is pretty accurate, and like many reviewers, I was iffy about some plot choices here and in the sequel. But it definitely sucked me in and is a good choice if you’re wanting to diversify/inclusify (?) your bookshelf.
8. The House of Bradbury – Nicole Meier A struggling novelist moves into Ray Bradbury’s former home in the SoCal hills. I think I discovered this through Amazon First Reads.
9. The Fates Divide – Veronica Roth The sequel to Carve the Mark, in which Cyra and Akos confront the truth about their fates. I rarely start sci-fi/fantasy series anymore, so I appreciated that this was a duology!
10. The Shark Club – Ann Kidd Taylor A marine biologist, staying at her family’s Florida hotel in between research trips, uncovers lots of surprises when she reconnects with her ex-fiancé and investigates illegal shark fishing in the area. This book has a similar vibe to the Magical Cats cozy mysteries I love, except set in the South Florida environment that my heart knows so well.
Other Fiction
11. Garden Spells – Sarah Addison Allen
12. Friday Black – Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
13. Swear on This Life – Renee Carlino
14. Sea Creatures – Susanna Daniel
15. Future Home of the Living God – Louise Erdich
16. Paws and Effect – Sofie Kelly
17. Faux Paw – Sofie Kelly
18. A Wrinkle in Time – Madeleine L’Engle (reread)
19. In Real Life – Jessica Love
20. The Other Half of Happiness – Ayisha Malik
21. Hey Ladies!: The Story of 8 Best Friends, 1 Year, and Way, Way Too Many Emails – Michelle Markowitz
22. The Woman Who Walked in Sunshine – Alexander McCall Smith
23. After the Gold – Erin McRae
24. The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror – Daniel Mallory Ortberg
25. 180 Seconds – Jessica Park
26. Wild Swans – Jessica Spottswood
27. The President’s Daughter – Ellen Emerson White
2018 Nonfiction Top 10:
1. Consider the Birds: A Provocative Guide to the Birds of the Bible – Debbie Blue This exploration of birds mentioned in the Bible is as dense and rich as a good cheesecake. I know it sounds like an odd topic, but trust me. Especially if you’re an Anne Lamott fan.
2. The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth – Christopher L. Heuertz I really delved into the Enneagram this year. My church hosted a daylong workshop with Chris, after which I read his book. It’s a nice comprehensive intro to the Enneagram, including an appendix that compares every type to every other type individually. I’ve used it to help a lot of friends who felt torn between two types.
3. Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?: And Other Questions You Should Have Answers to When You Work in the White House – Alyssa Mastromonaco A fun and informative memoir by President Obama’s deputy chief of staff. (While I enjoyed it all, for some reason my favorite part was about her wedding, performed by Supreme Court Justice Kagan.)
4. Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less – Greg McKeown Read on Laura Tremaine’s recommendation. I was already working on applying Essentialist principles to my life, and can see myself revisiting this book to stay on track.
5. This Is Me: Loving the Person You Are Today – Chrissy Metz The actress shares encouragement and wisdom from her life and her journey to becoming Kate Pearson. Loved it.
6. Paperback Crush: The Totally Radical History of ’80s and ’90s Teen Fiction – Gabrielle Moss Exactly what the title suggests. Pure Brenda Crack. Like I ordered it myself.
7. Stoned: Jewelry, Obsession, and How Desire Shapes the World – Aja Raden A deep dive into the history of gemstones and specific famous jewels.
8. Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness – Jessica Valenti Interesting, frustrating, and relevant to me at this point in my life. Spoiler alert: there are no real actionable solutions to the problems making parenting in modern America very difficult, but it’s somehow validating to review them anyway.
9. Educated: A Memoir – Tara Westover After seeing this on a million best-of lists, I picked it up expecting some kind of prim academic reflection. Instead, it was a raw, disturbing, bonkers story. I couldn’t put it down and it’s a miracle Tara Westover is even alive to tell the tale.
10. The Very Worst Missionary: A Memoir or Whatever – Jamie Wright I was a reader of the Very Worst Missionary blog, and I’d put this in my top five faith memoirs, which says a lot considering I had to create a new Goodreads shelf for those.
Other Nonfiction
11. MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend – Rachel Bertsche
12. Romance Is My Day Job: A Memoir of Finding Love at Last – Patience Bloom
13. Come Matter Here: Your Invitation to Be Here in a Getting There World – Hannah Brencher
14. Act Normal: Memoir of a Stumbling Block – Kristy Burmeister
15. Spiritual Sobriety: Stumbling Back to Faith When Good Religion Goes Bad – Elizabeth Esther
16. The Princess Diarist – Carrie Fisher
17. In Progress: See Inside a Lettering Artist’s Sketchbook and Process, from Pencil to Vector – Jessica Hische
18. Permission to Speak Freely: Essays and Art on Fear, Confession, and Grace – Anne Jackson
19. How to Survive the Apocalypse: Zombies, Cylons, Faith, and Politics at the End of the World – Robert J. Joustra and Alissa Wilkinson
20. Friendkeeping: A Field Guide to the People You Love, Hate, and Can’t Live Without – Julie Klam
21. Looking Back: A Book of Memories – Lois Lowry
22. Failing Up: How to Take Risks, Aim Higher, and Never Stop Learning – Leslie Odom, Jr.
23. Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome: A Memoir of Humor and Healing – Reba Riley
24. The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective – Richard Rohr
25. Approval Junkie: My Heartfelt (and Occasionally Inappropriate) Quest to Please Just about Everyone, and Ultimately Myself – Faith Salie
26. Cozy Minimalist Home: More Style, Less Stuff – Myquillyn Smith
27. On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century – Timothy Snyder
28. Hindsight: And All the Things I Can’t See in Front of Me – Justin Timberlake
29. We’re Going To Need More Wine – Gabrielle Union
30. Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life – Tish Harrison Warren
31. The Geography of Genius: A Search for the World’s Most Creative Places from Ancient Athens to Silicon Valley – Eric Weiner
32. Diet Right for Your Personality Type: The Revolutionary 4-Week Weight-Loss Plan That Works for You – Jen Widerstrom
33. Where Am I Now? – Mara Wilson
Book Total for 2018: 60 books
2 Comments + Posted in: book reviews, year end
It’s that time again! My rules: no repeat artists, and the final product has to fit on a CD. Warning, this year’s mix is even more random and nonsensical than usual. I am what I am.
Previous Years: 2017 // 2016 // 2015 // 2014 // 2013 // 2012 // 2011
1. Sober Up – AJR feat. Rivers Cuomo
I love a pop song with unexpected string instruments (spoiler alert: I also love that this year’s soundtrack begins AND ends orchestrally).
2. Woman – Kesha feat. The Dap-Kings
My girl-power anthem for this year. The horn part is just ascendant.
3. New Days (Acoustic) – Delta Rae
I’m never sure how this song is meant to be taken. There’s a lot about goodbyes and things not working out, but ultimately it feels optimistic, and that optimism and hope is what I like about it.
4. Lottery – Jade Bird
Big Car-Singing Hook #1 of this mix. I need to check out more of Jade Bird’s stuff – her new release “Uh Huh” is also good. She’s like the British Elle King.
5. The Middle – Zedd & Maren Morris & Grey
The song that will always remind me of 2018. It was EVERYWHERE, and though that annoyed me, I never stopped liking it.
6. Good As Hell – Lizzo
I recommend listening to this AND acting out the “hair toss, check my nails” if you’re feeling down.
7. DNA. – Kendrick Lamar
Kendrick Lamar won the 2018 Pulitzer, but on a more personally relevant note, I got hooked on this song because it was the Grizzlies’ intro music for the second half of last season.
8. Bad at Love – Halsey
Big Car-Singing Hook #2.
9. Butterflies – Kacey Musgraves
After my many years of single angst, I noticed a shortage of happy love songs in my musical library, and sought to fix that. This is one of my favorites. ♥
10. I Don’t Know How to Love Him – Sara Bareilles (from Jesus Christ Superstar Live!)
I’ve never been a big fan of Jesus Christ Superstar, but I thoroughly enjoyed the live broadcast on Easter and thought the whole cast killed it, especially Sara Bareilles as Mary Magdalene.
11. Saturday Sun – Vance Joy
On the day Taylor’s offer on his house was accepted, we were at Vance Joy’s set at Music Fest when we suddenly spotted Taylor’s favorite sportscaster, Dan LeBatard (he’s from Miami and I’m still not sure how he ended up at Music Fest). We approached, talked to him for a minute, took a picture, then ran into some friends and were catching them up on the day as Vance started this song. So it reminds me of a happy moment when life was really good. I also love the line No ray of sunlight’s ever lost.
12. Whenever, Wherever – Shakira
A happy love song I’ve always liked, so I listened to it a lot this year.
13. Strangers – Sigrid
I first heard this on the Tonight Show, and it immediately became Big Car-Singing Hook #3. It could also totally be a lost track from HAIM’s Days Are Gone, still one of my favorite albums of this decade.
14. Revolution – Kirk Franklin & The Family
It’s been a long time since I could stomach contemporary Christian music, but this year I felt some renewed interest in gospel. It’s hard to believe this song is a full 20 years old. When Kirk Franklin asks me if I want a revolution, here in 2018 I can answer with an emphatic WHOOP WHOOP.
15. Nameless, Faceless – Courtney Barnett
Props to any artist who pulls a well-known Margaret Atwood quote for a chorus.
16. Lifted Away – Joseph
My general anthem for 2018… a random discovery that hit me hard. I’ve considered asking if we can add it to my church’s song rotation!!
17. Hymnostic – Big Red Machine
I actually don’t know any of the words to this song. I just find the melody soothing.
18. Shallow – Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper (from A Star Is Born)
That moment when she makes her decision, strides out onto the stage, and grabs the mic… EPIC.
19. Future Me Hates Me – The Beths
A fun song I would have related to deeply a couple of years ago.
20. God is a woman – Ariana Grande
I feel like this has been Ariana’s year. I was really rooting for her and Pete, but I’m glad they’re still on good terms.
21. High Hopes – Panic! at the Disco
I wasn’t fully aware of this song until LSU’s band played it when we were in Baton Rouge. My band-nerd “Perfect Stand Song” antennae went right up and I’ve loved it ever since.
22. No Rest for the Weary – Hanson (String Theory Version)
As I’ve mentioned several times, seeing Hanson with the Nashville Symphony Orchestra was one of the highlights of my year, and this was one of my favorite parts. It’s the current song of my heart and a good way to close this out!
Add a Comment + Posted in: music, year end
1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?
Became a notary, and swore to defend the Constitution; went to an LSU game; signed up for Stitch Fix; got serious about skincare; watched a movie filming in my own neighborhood; hiked a tiny bit of the Appalachian Trail; microchipped my pet; drank wine from a can; went to a Dave & Buster’s; stayed at a hotel on the beach in Miami with my boyfriend; discovered Reformer Pilates; saw LeBron James play in person; enjoyed the local cuisine of Cincinnati; ran a race series culminating in a half-marathon without training properly (not recommended); finally saw Wicked.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My One Word for 2018 was Fearless. It was less about jumping out of airplanes and more about continuing to wrestle quietly with pervasive, everyday fears. I reminded myself of my word every time I was afraid to speak my truth, to disappoint someone, to sit with an uncomfortable situation, not to mention all the big things out in the world that scare me. I’ll try to write more about this later if I get time. The longer I do One Word, the more all the words I’ve chosen become part of me – the work continues. But I feel like I’ve made progress.
Unless I get a clear message otherwise in the next couple of weeks, I’ve chosen my word for 2019. It’s kind of a different turn for me, but it’s the right time for it both in my life circumstances and as an appropriate follow-up to Fearless. Stay tuned.
3. Did anyone close to you have a child?
Two of my good friends, Alanna and Myla.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My long-time former boss, Janell, died on June 1 after a long battle with cancer. She was funny, kind, wise, and one of the most self-sacrificing and stubborn people I’ve ever met.
5. What countries did you visit?
No new countries or states.
6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked this year?
True, lasting margin in my life. Consistent quality time with friends and loved ones. Also, physical therapy or something for all my leg pains and problems. I don’t think I can truly love running again until that’s dealt with.
7. What dates from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 5 – the day Taylor’s house offer was accepted, then we saw Incubus at Beale Street Music Fest. May 15 – Taylor’s and my dating anniversary. September 27 – the Kavanaugh hearings. November 6 – Midterm Election Day.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Successfully completing my first year in a new job and new industry, and managing all the changes that came with it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Achieving very little personally. I barely managed to keep up with basic life demands. I did not write anything of note, complete any home improvement projects, take on any significant volunteer work, or really do anything impressive. However, that was largely because much of my time and energy is now taken by the relationship and the job opportunity that I spent years tap dancing to get. I definitely still have goals and dreams, but they feel less urgent at the moment.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I almost made it all year without getting sick sick, which was great! However, I got intense pressure headaches and vertigo every time I went off Allegra. I guess I’m on it for life now.
11. What was your best purchase?
My Pilates membership.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I can’t top my now-standard answer, “all the moms and teachers.” Also my BIL Lance, who earned a second master’s degree while working full-time and being a dad.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
You know.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Outside of bills? Travel and clothes.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Penny Hardaway becoming the head coach of the Tigers; Taylor’s new house; being able to walk to football games and to church; our vacations to Miami and the Blue Ridge Mountains; studying and discussing the Enneagram; voting; having double dates with my siblings and their spouses; seeing Leslie Odom Jr. in person.
16. What song will always remind you of 2018?
The Middle, Zedd feat. Maren Morris. BABY! **clock sounds* *Target logo**
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) Thinner or fatter? c) Richer or poorer?
a) About the same. b) How about, a lot stronger? I actually thought about this question at various points in the year and felt bummed that I’d have to say fatter; I rarely weigh myself, but some clothes I’ve worn for ten years don’t fit anymore. However, at the start of 2018, I struggled to carry a box of cat litter. Now I can do 80 pounds on some weight machines, and confidently do a full Pilates workout on a red spring, and if that means going up a size, SCREW DIET CULTURE, SMASH THE PATRIARCHY!!! c) Richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more?
Read; write; maintain some space in my head and heart.
19. What do you wish you’d done less?
Feel anxious and overwhelmed. Stand in strange yards/the street coaxing Rufus out from somewhere he shouldn’t be.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I’ll spend it the same as last year: with my parents, and Taylor and his family. My siblings and nieces aren’t coming until after Christmas.
21. Did you fall in love in 2018?
More and more. This is the best relationship I’ve ever been in. ♥
22. What concerts did you attend this year?
I saw Hanson with the Nashville Symphony Orchestra, and Leslie Odom Jr. at a book signing/talk where he also sang a few songs. At Beale Street Music Fest, I saw Dashboard Confessional, Third Eye Blind, Alanis Morrissette, Vance Joy, Incubus, Flaming Lips, Misterwives, and Odesza.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Still This Is Us, now followed by The Good Place.
24. What was the best gift you received?
For my birthday, Taylor gave me a framed photo he took of me on a mountain in Georgia, with FEARLESS written on the wrapping paper. ♥
25. What was the best book you read?
This was a weird reading year for me. Nothing truly, unequivocally blew me away. Off the cuff, I’ll give Best All-Around to Tara Westover’s Educated. 2018 reading wrap-up still to come.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
No one immediately jumps to mind.
27. What did you want and get?
What I said I wanted in 2017: “More margin in my schedule. A better balance of cardio and strength training. Another ‘big’ trip – I stayed pretty close to home this year.” One out of three’s not bad? I also wanted and got to go to Miami with Taylor.
28. What did you want and not get?
A bathroom remodel (which probably won’t happen now).
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
A Star Is Born; Black Panther; I, Tonya; To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before on Netflix. For obvious plot reasons, I cannot say I loved Avengers: Infinity War, but wow it was A LOT.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 39 (for the first time)!! I had to go to work, but my wonderful co-workers decorated my cube and brought in a homemade cake. My boss let me leave early, so I did a little shopping. Taylor gave me some thoughtful presents (see #24) and took me to dinner at Slider Inn for my traditional special-occasion Jameson slushie. The following weekend, he threw me a lovely party at his house.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Better time management.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
My comfort quotient is going up (but not in a “letting myself go” way). I’m embracing leggings with tunics and dresses. I’m investing in more supportive shoes. I publicly, officially swore off pants, only to find two styles that actually work for me.
33. What kept you sane?
Taylor, yoga, and cat purrs.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Between A Star is Born and her Netflix documentary, I gained new appreciation for Lady Gaga this year.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Everything. Every single, relentless day.
36. Whom did you miss?
Most of my longtime friends. ALL of us are busy, over-committed, and exhausted, and many are also now moms of small children and it’s like… see you after they graduate? I enjoy making new friends, but it’s not the same. Friends who have walked with you a while are an anchor, and I’ve felt a little adrift this year.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
My new co-paralegal, who joined us in October. She is sharp as a tack and I’d still want to know her even if we didn’t work together.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.
There’s a difference between quitting something because it’s hard, and quitting something because it’s actively hurting you.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
When does it end, when do the knots loosen?
When is my mind caged inside free to go?
I’ve been focused on what I could lose and I’ve lost touch
Lost sight of you and what is my own.
It’s here, right here where I am
Right here and now
It’s here, I’m cutting the cord
Lifted away where this doubt can’t hold me down.
Give me the rope that is tied around your neck
I’ll cut it away, I’ll set you free as you should be
No longer must we live under these burdens
You’re my beloved, my kin, no more a slave.
I don’t need to worry about tomorrow
All the work I need is what’s at hand
I don’t need to worry about tomorrow
All the love I make is what will stand. – Joseph
Add a Comment + Posted in: year end
Main Events:
My family typically doesn’t gather for Thanksgiving – everyone splits up to their own pursuits. After a busy October, I announced I was tired and wanted to celebrate quietly at home with Taylor and his family. We had Thanksgiving at his brother’s house, and my parents ended up coming too, instead of going to Miami like they had planned. In the evening, we hung out at home with one of Taylor’s childhood friends who was in town. It was nice!
Taylor’s birthday fell the week of Thanksgiving, which made it tough to get people together. But we celebrated by going to the most exciting Tiger basketball game in years, and having lunch with his family and my parents. As the elder in our relationship, I always feel a little relieved when his birthday comes. ;)
Reading:
My favorite book this month was Paperback Crush, a retrospective and commentary on teen book series of the 80s and 90s. I was so excited to read it, I bought it full price! My only complaint was that it wasn’t twice as long. I also read Garden Spells, a Practical Magic-esque novel that had been on my TBR list for several years; The Nester’s new book, Cozy Minimalist Home; and dystopian short story collection Friday Black, which was as depressing as it was relevant and well-written. I read it in less than a day, partly because I couldn’t put it down, and partly because it put me in a legit bad mood that I wanted to get behind me. How’s that for a mixed review?
Listening:
Hanson released the String Theory album this month, and I’m obsessed. One day I listened to “No Rest for the Weary” about ten times. PS, I’m about to start finalizing my 2018 soundtrack!
Watching:
We saw Bohemian Rhapsody, which I really enjoyed. I discovered afterward that we saw it on the anniversary of Freddie Mercury’s death!
I finished Season 2 of The Good Place and am excited to get up to date on the current season. LOVE. Also, it took me a couple of days to watch this week’s This Is Us fall finale, but I’m joining everyone in threatening the writers if they break up Beth and Randall. BETH AND RANDALL ARE GOALS.
Around Town:
My sister and her fam visited for a weekend! We went to the zoo, because that’s what my family does when children come to town. One night Debra, Lance, Taylor, and I went to dinner in the neighborhood and then to an escape room downtown. I basically contributed nothing to the escape room, but think I would do better next time. Anyway, my sister and I had never had a double date before, mostly due to our oppositional long epochs of singleness, so it was special.
Every year I want to participate in Downtown Dining Week and then forget, so I was thankful my friend James took initiative to make a reservation for our friend group at McEwen’s. I hadn’t been there in years and it was delicious.
November was the start of Tiger basketball season and the end of Tiger football season! The beginning of The Penny Era is up and down, but I’m just enjoying the ups and not worrying about the downs. This is a rebuilding year in which we are ACTUALLY REBUILDING. Meanwhile, we attended a very cold football game, and a Black Friday football game in which we clinched our conference division! Now we play UCF Saturday for the AAC championship. UCF, if you haven’t heard, is ona two-year winning streak but remains shut out of national championship contention because we’re not a Power 5 conference. Most of the country wants us to win this game just to “prove” UCF doesn’t deserve to be part of the conversation. It’s a weird position to be in.
At Home:
I refreshed my wall of indoor plants, moving some struggling ones to my cube at work, replacing them with fancier plants, and putting new indoor-formulated soil in every pot. Outside, I suddenly realized my year-and-a-half-old camellias no longer needed their supports! They’re getting ready to bloom, too. Winter bloomers are so inspiring.
Cooking/Eating:
My contributions to Thanksgiving dinner were roasted broccoli, cranberry sauce (first time I’ve made some instead of eating the canned stuff), and a pumpkin dump cake. But my favorite thing was the cheesy potato casserole Taylor’s SIL made.
Soup is one of the few upsides of cooler weather for me. This Trader Joe’s Autumn Harvest soup is one of the best I’ve ever had from a jar. In snack news, these snack packs have started an obsession with nuts/cheese/dried fruit combos.
Wearing:
There’s no denying it – I bought a lot of clothes in November. Just as I was about to give up officially on Stitch Fix, they sent me a flattering, comfortable peacoat/short trench that I put on right out of the box and have barely taken off since. I really liked four of the five items, making it my best Fix ever. However, I only kept the coat and a sweater dress. I tried to exchange a pair of skinny corduroys, but the size I needed wasn’t available.
Meanwhile, a new development in my tumultuous relationship with pants: Old Navy’s Pixie style is exactly what I’ve been looking for for work… at a much lower price than others I’ve tried. I bought one black pair and have two other colors on the way. I also got several pairs of leggings (including faux leather ones which now appear to be sold out), and two pairs of joggers, which I’ve needed for casual friends’-house or errand situations when I’m tempted to break my own rules and wear leggings as pants. If you too need any of these items, go earn that Super Cash. (I have received NO compensation from Old Navy, but they’re welcome to pay me in more pants.)
Beauty:
Usually Sephora is too rich for my blood, but after seeing a bunch of sale hauls and recommendations, I splurged on two highly rated items: Ole Henriksen Banana Bright Eye Crème and the Laniege Lip Sleeping Mask. I’m starting to notice improvement in my under eye area, but so far the lip mask, while nice, feels no better than the $1 Carmex I’ve applied constantly since I was fourteen. *shrug emoji*
I placed my first Colourpop order after Shan Shortcake posted a stunning New Year’s Eve-worthy look with the Bretman Rock Wet Palette. I’m also trying their foundation – my usual L’Oréal Infallible isn’t covering as well as it used to. Check back for updates!
Random Happiness:
I’ve been soaking up fall foliage everywhere I go, especially in the park.
On November 14, we got a dusting of snow! I looked it up and apparently the last November snow was just a few years ago, but it’s definitely not a regular occurrence.
Wellness:
My favorite 5K, the True Blue on the U of M campus, returned this month after a couple years’ hiatus. I did fine and felt good considering it was my longest run since April. I’ve logged a few other short runs to prep for the St. Jude 10K this weekend. I still feel a little weird about not running the half this year, but I know this break from halfs is the right decision.
I’m not ready to talk a lot about it, but this week I started getting up at 5 am and going to the gym before work, instead of at night. Considering my lifelong aversion to mornings, you know my current routine really isn’t working if I’m trying this. I think I need to keep it up for at least a month before coming to any conclusions. I’m not optimistic that this change will result in any weight loss – I’m doing it primarily for time management and related mental health reasons. So far, I’m just tired.
Also, I started doing longer yoga videos again and it feels great. Any yoga is better than no yoga, but 15-20 minute sessions aren’t enough as a regular thing. It takes some unhurried time and space to truly settle into the practice and get all the benefits. (I think prayer is like that too. I could actually talk a lot about how yoga has impacted my faith, but that’s for another time.)
Your Monthly Rufus:
Rufus had an exciting month visiting Taylor’s and helping me with Black Friday shopping. He also rediscovered his favorite cat bed. I had to search for him a few times and always found him in the bed.
On The Blog:
Per my tradition, I participated in the annual One Day, spearheaded by Laura Tremaine of 10 Things to Tell You and the Smartest Person in the Room podcast.
Good Reads:
♥ Kelsey Miller at A Cup of Jo: What Happened When I Started Intuitive Eating
♥ Tonia Peckover: Hara Hachi Bu
♥ Beth Watkins at Scraping Raisins: Three Reasons to Shop Ethically … and Four Reasons Not To
♥ Garance at Atelier Doré: The Next Chapter
♥ Rebecca Solnit in The Guardian: The American civil war didn’t end. And Trump is a Confederate president.
♥ Dan Elias at Purpose Fairy: 6 Steps to Heal Your Relationship with Time
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